Spademan 94 Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 So, someone made a claim about a photograph in another thread.There was some debate as to a claim made about a "face" being identifiable in the snapshot.I have gone back to that thread a few times with a sense of unease. I could not put it out of my mind that someone claimed there was a face on one of the particular pictures. I didn’t see it. Finally, being of scientific persuasion or a “sciencer” as some people call us, I decided to put the image through critical scientific scrutiny and scientifically discover the truth using empirical science.So it goes.Let us scientifically break it down using science shall we?First: Here we can clearly see what seems to be a loose connection of attributes that, taken as a whole, often constitute a “face”. We can glimpse wet orbs of seeing (Fig 1), breathing apparatus holes (Fig 2), and a food masher (Fig-Newton 3)* all co-located.I shit my pants just now.Let us scientifically enhance the photograph for science purposes:It seems obvious, now that we have used hard science to investigate: this organism indeed does have a face. How could we have missed this? Could we suffer some sort of global functional retardation? I have a few theories. It is my contention that other portions of the image took us so far down the path of interest that we completely neglected the signs and indicators present in the photographic evidence. For example: We see here that these two protrusions are screaming for attention. From past anatomical experience with Homo sapiens sapiens we know that these flesh bumps secrete a strange nutrient rich liquid that makes bones strong. Certainly our attention was drawn to the promise inherent in their existence.Also:Through study and research** we have found that this moist crevasse of wonders somehow sprouts little human beings through a spontaneous process we do not yet understand. Possibly teleportation. Aside from it tasting good and my unreasonable urge to stab it repeatedly with my large, protruding pelvic tumor -- the fact it can create tiny and motor-skill impaired human beings from thin air makes for an incredible distraction. It smells really really bad in here because of the shit in my pants.In conclusion, I think we have seen substantial evidence that this creature does in fact have a face and it is my scientific opinion that we overlooked this possibility through a mysterious cognitive process that God hath burdened upon the human race. Hopefully the scientific science we have done here will shed some scientifically ambient light on this phenomenon and help future sciencer type observers of such images avoid our unscientificy mistakes. Science. Author’s note: It is possibly certain that many females reading this study will find themselves moist with attraction. Any man who so intimately and accurately understands and examines the female anatomy usually draws such attention. To avoid any awkward correspondence via mail or stalking, let us put this to rest now: the chances of you being as beautiful, intelligent, funny, compassionate, loyal and sexually voracious as would be required by one such as myself are so pathetically minuscule as to be non-existent. In other words – Bitch, please***.Footnotes:*I have avoided technical science terms as much as possible to make this work accessible to the masses. Occasionally strict scientific classifications such as breathing apparatus holes (BTH) and food masher (FM) had to be used for critical purposes. ** Vivid Video productions*** Female dog in heatI will kill you in your sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise 57 Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 for some reason I have the urge to stop breathing air and learn to breath vagina instead. Link to post Share on other sites
HollywoodAFD 0 Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 for some reason I have the urge to stop breathing air and learn to breath vagina instead.and you really think that is funny?seriously? Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise 57 Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 and you really think that is funny?seriously?hey guys! hollywoodafd posted this! awesome!!! Link to post Share on other sites
runthemover 40 Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 (pronounced theeriously) Link to post Share on other sites
Theraflu 1,047 Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 (pronounced theeriously)Why wouldn't the image just spell it that way then? Talking teapots are thupid. Link to post Share on other sites
HollywoodAFD 0 Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 Why wouldn't the image just spell it that way then? Talking teapots are thupid.How dare you dis HomestarRunner.... lame-ass Link to post Share on other sites
chrozzo 19 Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 <3 tthis athead Link to post Share on other sites
antistuff 0 Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 for some reason I have the urge to stop breathing air and learn to breath vagina instead.what is that great quote from that john watters movie?"i wouldn't suck your dick if i was suffocating and there was oxygen in your balls"something like that. mink stole delivers it better than i can type it. you kinda made me think of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Yoda 1 Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 and you really think that is funny?seriously?Why are you still here? Get hit by a train Link to post Share on other sites
chrozzo 19 Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 this thread is pure gold Link to post Share on other sites
Jeepster80125 0 Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 Glad to hear that you're well Spade. for some reason I have the urge to stop breathing air and learn to breath vagina instead. and you really think that is funny?seriously?Seriously, I missed the start of your little pissing contest/pity party. Cliff notes? Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise 57 Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 Glad to hear that you're well Spade.Seriously, I missed the start of your little pissing contest/pity party. Cliff notes?it started in this thread. I lost my cool and asked hollywood to be quite in an admittedly vulgar manner, at which point he systematically owned me with his superior intellect and witty retorts in this and several other threads. boy was there ever egg on my face! Link to post Share on other sites
Jeepster80125 0 Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 it started in this thread. I lost my cool and asked hollywood to be quite in an admittedly vulgar manner, at which point he systematically owned me with his superior intellect and witty retorts in this and several other threads. boy was there ever egg on my face!Wow, is there ever!You should really consider starting over with a new account. I don't think anyone has ever recovered from being owned by hollydouche. If you're really lucky eventually he'll start kissing your ass if he thinks you'll defend him the next time he's flamed. Look at BigD. It's pretty entertaining how he thinks he has things figured out. Poor guy. Rippytyde part II? I think we're getting there. Link to post Share on other sites
Randy Reed 0 Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 Gee thanks science guy!No can you scientifficcally prove HollywoodAFD is an ass? Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise 57 Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 Wow, is there ever!You should really consider starting over with a new account. I don't think anyone has ever recovered from being owned by hollydouche. If you're really lucky eventually he'll start kissing your ass if he thinks you'll defend him the next time he's flamed. Look at BigD. It's pretty entertaining how he thinks he has things figured out. Poor guy. Rippytyde part II? I think we're getting there.yeah, if only I could figure out how to get on his good side like that guy he has in his signature! Link to post Share on other sites
Jeepster80125 0 Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 yeah, if only I could figure out how to get on his good side like that guy he has in his signature!Oh, that's easy. Pay attention next time hollydouche jumps on someone (or more likely, responds to someone flaming him). If any poster shows the slightest inkling of support for him, he'll immediately try to start kissing ass and appeasing that poster. He'll stop responding to flames just to kiss someone's ass if he thinks they'll support (ha!) at some future time. That's why he's so good at taking insults, because he just wants so desperately to be liked and accepted. I've said it before, but he's like that kid's younger brother who always came along. He'd do anything we told him to, was the constant butt of jokes, and was generally hated, but he stuck around because he wants approval and would go through anything to get it. Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 I'm blind! Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise 57 Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 I'm blind!and harry palms to boot I'd imagine. Link to post Share on other sites
runthemover 40 Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 I'm blind!Don't turn around uh ohDer Kommissar's in town uh oh Link to post Share on other sites
Ouch-8s 5 Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 That picture was my computer desktop background when I met my wife. Link to post Share on other sites
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