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Daniel - Poker Journal

The Past, Present, and Future... and TILT

14 Jan 2005

I've been reading through the forum recently and noticed that some old RGP archives were dug up and posted in some threads here. They were all written several years ago and are very nasty in nature. Many of those posts were written by me, or at least the "old me".

I've always been one to speak my mind and that's gotten me into trouble in the past. I've never liked bullies and always try to stick up for those that can't defend themselves. I've been like that ever since grade school.

I still feel good about speaking my mind and sticking up for others, but one major change I've made since becoming a Christian about a year and a half ago is that I've learned not to judge others. That's always been one of my biggest faults.

It's not my place to judge others, especially in a public forum. I feel comfortable forming opinions about people but I need to always remember that it's not my job to judge them.

I've apologized to everyone involved privately for the things I did or said. It's a dead issue with all involved but unfortunately once you post something for everyone to read it's there forever.

So do I regret the things I said? No, I don't live with regret. Am I embarrassed? Absolutely. Having said that, I know in my heart that everything I've done in my life has gotten me to the place I am today. I'm a happy person today and I know that all of the character building experiences I went through contributed to that.

I understand that my past will rear it's ugly head now and again, but I'm truly ok with it. There is nothing I can do to change the past, only to remember it and focus on the present and the future. I'm not perfect today, and I certainly wasn't perfect then! I was a pretty angry guy back then in many ways. Why? Well, I think there was an emptiness inside me. A void that couldn't be filled by money, success, or fame. I was missing a spiritual foundation which I have now and attribute all of my current happiness to it.


Now that I've got that out of the way I wanted to share my new addiction with you all... Scrabble! I just played my first two games and am 0-2 against Lori. Is fe really a word? I mean seriously? Can you use a scientific symbol in Scrabble? I lost the first game pretty badly but the second one was really close when she pulled fe (the symbol for iron) out of her hat! I'm going to have to brush up on those symbols for sure.

I was going to fly to Atlantic City from Bahamas but decided to spend a couple days in Grand Rapids since it seemed "on the way." Tomorrow night I fly into AC to play in the inaugural WSOP Tour event. I have no idea what it will be like or how many people will show up which makes it kind of exciting.

I felt pretty good about my play in Bahamas. No let down from the Bellagio in late December, I was really focused and making strong moves. While here in Grand Rapids I'm getting some much needed rest (after 18 hours straight of answering e-mails that is) and feel pretty healthy.


I was anxious to see the first episode of TILT last night and I was pretty shocked to see that ESPN would air a show that won't help their long term goals of promoting a WSOP tour. Painting us all as gun slingin' cheats, crooked casino bosses, and all around thugs isn't the best way of selling the public on the WSOP being a contest of champion poker players.

Yes I know I did a cameo in the show... but man, I never expected them to go out of there way to show poker in the most negative light possible. With poker's growing popularity it was a given that it would receive more scrutiny and this program will certainly add diesel fuel to the fire. The show I saw last night is absolutely nothing like any poker world I've seen or been a part of.

Let's all just hope that future episodes get better rather than worse