With the popularity of Dear Nikki and Dear Speedz, I was thinking of starting an advice column, too, with my own twist. It wouldn't be sexy, informative OR funny. It would be just me being grouchy and acting annoyed that you don't already know the answer. For example:

Dear HBlask,

There's this girl I really like, but I'm not sure if she has a boyfriend. How can I find out without being too obvious?

Confused.


Dear Confused,

How old are you, 11? Grow up.

hblask

or something like this:

Dear hblask,

My dad says variable rate annuities are currently the best investment value. My insurance guy says his insurance program is much better in the long run. My stockbroker says the market is poised for a big run up. What should I do?

financial fool

Dear FF,

Get a job and move out of your mother's basement before you worry about what the big kids are doing with their money. What an idiot.

hblask

OK, maybe not. I think I've already used up it's potential.

I've got nothing.

I was thinking something along the lines of a bad beat whine story... but those get flamed enough as it is... or something like that.

Dear Hblask,

Why are you such a homo?

Sincerely,

Annoyed on the internet

Follow up:

What are you doing later?

Regards,

Horny on the internet

Finally:

This thread sucks,

Sincerely,

Done with the internet

I don't think it's a terrible idea, it's just that I think the forum is fool of people that could do this.

FYP

Dear Hblask,

My wife is out of town and I want to lob 1 off. I can't seem to find naked pictures of Ron Mexico on the internet. Can you help me.

Sincerley,

Helping out Mexi's Origami

Dear HOMO.

Have you even tried? I can't find a site on the internet WITHOUT naked pictures of Ron Mexico.

hblask

OK, I really wasn't going to answer questions, so don't ask any more, or I may feel compelled to answer. Leve me alone.

I don't know... that was a pretty good answer. I giggled. (Ok, just the thought of Ron makes me giggle, but anyway)

Bahhhhhh, I are funny !!

Obv:

Dear Henry,

Do you prefer metamucil or prune juice?


Nik

+

Dear hblask,

What should I give up for Lent? (Yes, I'm running late)

Can I handle this one?

Dear Dog,

Masterbation.

Yes, really. It's evil. It's like beating old ladies with sticks.

Your friend in God,

Loismustdie

LOLZ

Now leave me alone.

Check and check. Thanks!





I love Renae. If I weren't recovering from surgery, I would fantasize about her right now while I beat an old lady with a stick.

I think "beat an old lady with a stick" should be the new "jilling off".

I second this, afk to beat an old lady with a stick.

i prefer STFU