As some of you know, my roommate half-moved out some months back, and has just now moved completely out. Four of my friends would like to take his place, as I have a sweet-*** apartment. I'm pretty bored around here so I'm going to take one.

The question is "who?" Clearly selecting one will hurt the others' feelings. Plus, it's still not hilarious or demeaning. So, YOU'RE going to choose. Below are
each candidate's profile, along with the message they'd like you to see before voting. Also, Wang, McGee, mrdannyg, Spademan, 76clubs, LongLiveYorke, ricker, RodReynolds, Don Giovanni and Actuary get five votes, as they're the current Awesomatrix top ten. Just post who you like if you're one of the top ten.


Name: Caleb

Ethnicity: White (Jewish? I'd ask, but it's good to have a little mystery)

Favorite movie: Tron

Favorite book/author: Pynchon

Education/vocation: Architecture student at Georgia Tech

Richer than me: Someday, prolly.

Number one broad: Paris Hilton

Profile: Caleb is a bit of a douche. He thinks he's really smart, not in a Dutch, "I realize I'm not really a super-genius, but I think it's funny to act like I don't" sorta' way, either. We get along, but he's not one of my BEST friends. He also gets enough *** to make me jealous, which is certainly a con.

Quote: "Vote for C-unit, or I'll crush you."


Name: Danial

Ethnicity: Mixed Asian

Favorite movie: Star Wars VI

Favorite book: Shitty sci-fi, like Star Wars franchise milking garbage

Education/vocation: Student at Georgia State

Richer than me: I think so.

Number one broad: Natalie Portman [this could be bad. If the government ever got wise to our combined Internet activity, they'd have to chose but to take us in for questioning]

Profile: I see Danial almost every day, and I know I'll be able to stand him in large doses. As a con, he owns WAY too much sci-fi shit that will clutter up my place.

Anecdote: Danny boy once faked vegetarian for more than two months to date a girl who was alright-looking. She eventually caught him with a sack of MacDonald's double-cheese burgers going-to-town.

The number burgers contained in this bag has ranged from a repulsive four to a legendary twelve, but the moral is always the same: she was slightly pissed that he lied, but didn't really care. He then proceeded to leave HER because of her "lack of commitment to her beliefs."

Quote: "This is the most public of the various indignities through which you've made me suffer. If not chosen, I'll set forth on a rampage of squatting the likes us which you've never seen. Rape, too."



Name: Jason

Ethnicity: White

Favorite movie: Blue Velvet

Favorite book: Catch-22

Education/vocation: Sometimes-student, poker player and rich daddy

Richer than me: No.

Number one broad: Elisha Cuthbert [good answer]

Profile: I don't know Jason that well. He's funnier than most of my real friends, but he's more of a friend-of-a-friend. He has access to a lot of drugs, too, which could be good.

Quote: "I would assume my opponents have all comedically threatened you. There's some truth to every joke. Even though that doesn't really mean anything, pretend it does, and remember I didn't make you question your safety when it comes time to vote."


Name: Cam

Ethnicity: ? (I can't even guess. He's dark...ish)

Favorite movie: Pi

Favorite book/author: Vonnegut

Education/vocation: Day-trader

Richer than me: Same, roughly.

Number one broad: Jessica Alba

Profile: Cam is okay, but a little boring. He'd also be home with me all day, which could be good for a while, but could also start to get on my nerves. He's also 25 years-old, which could also be weird.

Quote: "Don't vote for me (I'm using reverse psychology...or maybe it's reverse-rev...whatever)."


There you have them. Vote wisely, my friends. I wonder why no women want to move in with me?

My 5 votes go to Danial, strictly because of him dumping that chick.

I pick Janet and Chrissy - er Jason

I think your choice is really between the middle two. The story about faking vegetarian and her not caring and him dumping her is too cool. It something that seems so made up but is just crazy enough to be true. That guy would be a good roommate.

I'm not 100% on it being true, but he's an amusing guy. He's my best friend out of the group, but you're right, it seems like a race between him and Jason. If it were up to me, I pick Danny, but the way it's prestented I think Jason would've been a favorite. But Dan is out to a 6-1 lead.

Roommates suck dude. don't do it

I get bored.

jason seems like a HUGE dbag to me. i dislike everything about him, right down to picking the most popular girl (though she is great) to picking a favourite book that you know he barely read.

the early leaning on my 5 votes are to cam, since vonnegut is great and so is pi, but i'll consider it further before voting, since although he has some excellent interests, they might not be perfect for a roommate.

we also need some info on why the unemployed student is richer than you. he's asian, so i assume rich parents or something equally untrustworthy.

Well, if you must then I vote for Jason.

Then vote.

I take my responsibility of having five votes quite seriously. I feel like I'm the California electoral college, so I feel a certain responsibility to research these cats and truly know what exactly I'm voting for.



ooh, first off, not a good sign that you already think he's a douche. The other turn off for me is that Paris Hilton is his number 1 broad. Anyone that chooses that dirty slut is either gay, or a 12 year old girl. Sorry bro, you're out.



I don't like the threat, but the pure awesomeness of the vegitarian story makes me think twice about Danial. I like his spunk, and he's already a friend so that's another plus in my book.

However, a good rule of thumb is to never move in with a friend. I have done it and it almost ruined that friendship, but fortunately, we've moved past it and are great friends again.

The other minus is the obvious supergeek that he is, which means Dutch, you'll have a hard time convincing any girl that comes over that the life size cardboard cutout of Boba Fett isn't yours. Good luck with that.

However, he is asian, so you might get him to do your laundry...I dunno...you'll have to ask.




Now on the face of it, I'm a fan of Jason, but the more I think about it the more I'm just not getting a good vibe from him. I mean, it isn't 2001 anymore and Elisha Cuthbert isn't the be all end all of hot chicks. I mean, come on man, jerk off to some one else...there's plenty of hotter tail than Elisha now. She's getting too old. Time to move on.

I do however like how he's concerned for my safety.




Definately boring. I mean, Day Trader, (yawn) Vonnegut (double yawn) and he's just as rich as you so you'll always know the rent will be on time. Where's the excitement in that? Bah...

However his one redeeming quality is that he choose Jessica Alba which I do feel is the be all end all of hot chicks (she almost ruined it for me by doing that horrid Fantastic Four Movie, but redeemed herself by doing that bikini movie she was in....)




So, with all the facts in, I think my five votes must go to.....




Me. That's right Dutch, I'm throwing my hat into the ring. I want to move in with you. I need a change of pace and I think a new roommate would be awesome.


What's that you say? You live in BFE? Umm ok...I vote for whichever guy is the tallest.

You should have a radio contest to choose YOUR roommate. Chicks only, of course.

i didn't read the "profiles" but voted anyways

If Caleb was Jewish he would get my vote, but I'm gonna go with Danial he's a beast

Danial will do your homework, so I pick him. Plus you don't have to worry about him stealing your girl.

Uh, no funny comment needed from me.

Danial-good taste in movies

Definetly Daniel or Jason,

Daniel's reason for dumping the girl sorta makes me think he's fake, someone you just created...i could be wrong though, but he seems cool.

Jason seems cool but with Blue velvet as a favorite movie you might find lots of dead hookers...you choose if that's a pro or con

lmao bwahahaha


Daniel.

of course...I think it goes without saying.





Dammit, can't a guy beat off around here?

Haven't read responses, don't want to be influenced.

But I'm going with Danial. Seems like a perfect balance of him being around, him not being around, and him being different enough from you to be worthwhile.

First off, he's still a student, so you know he'll be out of your hair SOME of the time.

Secondly, all that trash-fiction lying around will be good for you, serve to lighten you up.

Thirdly, even if he made that story about being a Vegan up, he's money.

I don't really think anybody else is even close. So, Danial.

Wang

Yep, gotta vote for Danial. Like Wang said, even if the vegetarian story was made up, it's a good one. Being able to tolerate him in large doses is a big plus. Good taste in women evidenced by the NP pick, but you have to post pics of the NP shrine that will surely be constructed in your living room.

This is being discussed. Since the first night he's been pretty sure he's got it locked up, and has been naming rooms after obscure book and movie characters and whatnot. The bathroom is Bunny Hoover's Holiday Inn Piano Lounge. I had to have one that I get based on something other than knowing him.

Ok, this is my last post, almost for sure.

Since I think I might be Cam, or Cam might be me, I'm going to allow my five votes, assuming I still get five, to go to him. I see he poses no real threat anyway, but I think Cam is a nut to crack, and you'll be pleased with what is inside. Dammit, my two accounts are merging.

You'll need you vote, too, becaue I've assumed everyone else did, therefor I'm just adding four to their final number.

Oooh, glad I caught that. Plus one for Danial. Whenever homeboy moves in, I'll require roommate-blind journals from each of you. Of course.

Wang

PS- Tell Danial one of his biggest supporters thinks he spells his name incredibly stupidly. Or, tell him you can't spell. I'd handicap it like 65/35 in that order.

No, that's all him (his parents?). It's "Daniel" on his driver's license, though. Go figure. I call him "The Pipes the Pipes are Calling," anyway.

Luckily my little brother is a Daniel, or I might not have picked up on the "Oh Danny Boy" reference. If I get drunk enough tonight, I'll send my little brother a text message, and DEMAND he start going by "Danial." He'll be confused, and ask for an explanation, but he'll probably do it.

Wang