I Wonder if the Power of 'Wind' Could Be Used to Augment a BJ?

As a child I enjoyed anything super hero-related. I read comic books and watched pretty much any SH cartoon. I loved most of them, with the exception of Captain Planet (although, I'd have done the **** out of Linka. Va-va voom!). At the age of 5, I already felt that it was insulting to my intelligence, and complained about it frequently. Then for the next 8 or so years I forgot about it.


Then, when I was 13, my friend Kyle and I were set to play hockey after school, when his mom came in and informed him that he'd have to watch his brother Tuan and a friend of his all day. I'm pretty self-centered, but for whatever reason I stayed and gave him a hand.


It was about 5pm when they started watching Captain Planet. Always one to embrace nostalgia, I half-leaned-half-sat against an armrest and watched.


Very quickly Kyle and were overcome with fury. "Why are they even doing that? They don't even think enough of us to give their villains a motive." "Oh my God, Ma-Ti is such a little fag. What kind of power is 'heart,' anyway?" "Why would they even bother summoning Captain Planet? He's seemingly even LESS effective than they are. Throw a Twix wrapper on the ground and he's pretty much out of the picture; you might as well have that weeping road-side Indian fighting crime [I'm pretty sure I didn't even know who that was when I was 14, but whatever]."


Pretty soon we had the impressionable children on board, and immediately began exploiting this misplaced respect.


The show ended on a new low; a public service announcement telling us that we should keep the sink off while we're brushing our teeth, because leaving it on wastes water. Kyle and I were enraged, therefor as were Tuan and his friend. We couldn't allow them to win like that; revenge was now necessary.


Quickly, I drafted out a plan. There was only one fitting punishment for such a display of condescension, and such a bold-faced "call to environmentalism": an act of rewardless anti-environmental spite rivaling that of those perpetrated in the show, specifically tailored to the particular episode's offensive message: wasting water.


Basically what happened was we had Tuan and his friend turn on all the sinks and the hose, while we watched MTV. Somehow we wound up ruining his parent's garden, and they got pretty pissed.


And That's how I evened the score with Ted Turner.

Fuck gardens anyway!!

Dont say another bad word about CP, he's a smooth talkin pimp.

he's our hero, gonna take pollution down to zero.

respek

don't you have a blog?

were you inspired by this?

http://www.thatvideosite.com/video/2445

No. That was horrible. RC is pretty hit-or-miss. That was just plain miss.

After spending countless hours printing in a darkroom in college I no longer worry about wasting water. There were generally about 5 sinks running about 12-18 hours every day, and not because we hated saving water, but because it's necessary to have a sink running while you are printing.

I always envisioned that Mattie must have hated the rest of the planeteers for their powers. This one guy can create fire, this other makes earthquakes, tornados, tsunamis, etc, and all he can do is make monkeys like him. I mean, what the heck is "heart" anyway. You know the writers came up with the four main elements, were forced to have five characters, and just threw heart in more or less as a joke. In future episodes, Mattie should have used heart to summon wolves or something, murder the other planeteers, steal their rings, wear all the rings on one hand, and take over the world.

Also, as Dutch pointed out above, I never quite got how polluting for it's own sake was supposed to lead to world domination. It's kind of like that South Park episode:

Step 1, pollute. Step 2.......... Step 3, world domination.

And while were at it, what the heck was Gaia anyway? The "spirit of the earth?" What the heck is that? Was she a goddess? Did she have superpowers? Why, if she was powerful enough to create the rings, the planeteers, and captain planet in the first place didn't she get off her *** from time to time and do something. What, too busy sunbathing in Hawaii or whatever? What was the meeting like where she decided to create the planeteers in the first place anyway?

"Oh my, super villains are going to destroy the world with pollution. Why don't I arbitrarily give 5 random teenagers superpowers (or rather four teenagers superpowers and I'll give one heart) and have them solve all my problems."

And why didn't they just always have captain planet summoned? I mean, if he's so powerful, why not when anything goes wrong just bust him out right away? It'll save a lot of time and effort. Plus it would give him a chance to spend some time on earth instead of wherever the heck it is that he goes when he isn't manifested or whatever.

I mean, I don't want to go off on a rant here...

I went to a bar tonight...

There was a costume contest...

One guy was dressed as Captain Planet...

I cheered quite loudly.

I feel like beans-and-icewater.

I remember as a kid coming up with a Captain Garbage theme just because Captain Planet was so silly. We made it match almost perfectly with the theme music. I'm trying to remember what our 5 people were. I know we had Death instead of Heart. I think we had sludge instead of water. The rest I'm too tired to try to remember.

what was ur BCC?

Hard to say. Had a couple shots of rum island iced tea, a rum runner, a shot of liquid valium, a shot of 151, and a Bud Light by that point.

EARTH!

FIRE!

WIND!

WATER!

god dammit

....uh, heart...I guess....

Haha, you're a fag!

CAPTAIN PLANET!

These may be the smuggest children I've ever heard of.

I was a pretty horrible kid. Oh man, I wish I had time to type up more stories...