This is our official Man-Law thread. While the commercials are humorous, I think they fall a little short and we can do much better. I will offer 3 to start and may continue to contribute as needed. Law 3 applies specifically to this thread.


MAN-LAW: When using a public restroom with multiple urinals, you must choose the one furthest from the other current users, even if it is slightly lower than the others. If no available urinal is equi-distant from the users and the low-urinal option is too low and you are in danger of peeing on yourself, you may choose between a stall and a urinal next to another user; both actions are dangerous, however. Best option is to pick your nose in the mirror until inconspicuous urinal is available.

MAN-LAW: You may only order a frozen alcoholic drink from a restaurant if A. You are with several couples, and each guy is also drinking a frozen drink, AND the place is well-known for tasty frozen drinks, or B. You are at a cabana-themed restaurant or drinking establishment in a resort area, and you are drinking said mixture while wearing a Hawaiian shirt that exposes some chest hair. Breaking this law is measured on a scale of 1 to gay, 1 being ordering a frozen drink along with your date, gay being ordering a frozen drink when you're out with 1 buddy and he's having a beer.



MAN-LAW: You may not find some sort of list with a bunch of previously conceived man-laws and post either a copy of the text or the link on this thread, in an attempt to appear "awesome" or to end the thread. Female accountants try to find lists; a real man tries to be funny.

MAN-LAW: All men should have contests to try and outgay each other where the loser is the guy who finally breaks character and admits to being creeped out by the gayness.

For instance, one guy will come up to the other and start softly rubbing his neck. The second guy will then pretend to enjoy it thoroughly and respond by doing something like holding and rubbing his hand (fingers interlaced). Here's where things start to get interesting because each move must one-up the previous. The first guy now will likely start rubbing the inner thigh of the second guy, and both participants for the first time in the contest are genuinely uncomfortable. As the first guy rubs higher and higher on his opponents thigh nearing the ballsack the second guy will usually go for the under the shirt chest rub or possibly even the ill advised pants unbutton maneuver. This is usually the part of the contest where things break down. Guy number one usually panics at this point and just goes for an all out ball grab prompting one of the two participants to run crying into the corner with a severe case of the heebly jeeblies.


Site of source: Turd Ferguson

I don't think you get this thread...

MAN LAW: When you're sitting at the poker table, and some other guy sitting next to bumps their leg against yours or rubs your leg, you have to immediately pull your leg away and give them a weird look. If you do nothing and just let your leg stay there, touching his, you have a problem.

*kisses thecorporation3 on the cheek*


Oh I get it buddy...

Dude, you can't just go into kissing first. Remember? It's holding fingers, then hands, then rubbing, THEN kissing..geeeze.

We can't all be this straight. It takes a real man.

It's no Small Wonder (like Vicki) that I like this thread. Carry on.

Got a good one from the drive home...

MAN-LAW: Guys cannot drive Pontiac Sunfires, Volkswagon Cabriolets or :new: Beetles, any Kia, and Jeep Liberties. Any mitsubishi eclipse that is not of the most recent redesign is suspect as well.

Man-Law: While playing poker, it is unmanly to decide to knock over a different players chips. If it is accidental it is fine if you buy the man a beer. If the man is acting 'gay' then knocking over the chips, is of course, acceptable.

Man Law

If two guys are sitting around watching a porn together, one of the guys should offer to blow the other, or at the very least, have a mutual masturbation session.

MAN LAW

This needs to be tagged, framed, and promptly displayed with a plaque that says "Ron Mexico's 11,000th FCP Post". It's so you. It's so you.

You wanna know how I know your gay?

MAN LAW:

When playing a contact sport, it is unacceptable to tackle(sp) and stay on top of another man for longer than 5 seconds, or until play stops (unless the sport is wresteling).






Give me some time to think of funnier ones.

because he is trying to make a man law about being gay

I'd add girly colors of Cavaliers too. Its always wonderful to pass a car going down the road, look over as if you're checking the driver out, and then having a dude looking right back at you.


not to mention said dude probably bought that car for the same reason he's looking at you.


not funny gay.

MAN LAW:

Men cannot stay at the Park Inn Heathrow in London unless they are forced to. Honostly, this hotel is the fruitiest thing on the face of the planet, with it's elevators that change light color from sea-green to bright pink to light purple, etc..., tyedyed cars and anal beads hanging around the lobby and in the bar.

MAN LAW:

No law should be passed that is so obscure that the vast majority of men will never be put in a situation where said law is applicable.

Man-Law: When a occasion arises when one must hug another man, the appropriate way of doing so is as follows:

Extend right hand and embrace in handshake. Mutually enter in, touching right shoulder to right shoulder. With left hand simultaneously reach around and pat on back no more than twice. Quickly release.

QFT

MAN-LAW- No man shall ever be caught singing a song by any female artist or "The Village People".

Erroneous.

Edited my post. Happy?

False.


And I think you all know why.

Did we upset the Mrs?

No, but your spelling of "honestly" did.

http://www.fullcontactpoker.com/poker-foru...95&hl=Unite

Man Law
Men are not to order any foofie coffee drinks that have whipcream on top as when they take a drink it leaves a whipcream mustache on the upper lip.
Man Law
Men cannot use the word foofie.

You just need to find a better barrista


MAN LAW

When passing condiments/side dishes someone else asked for. It is perfectly acceptable to use/plate before handing said condiment/side dish to original asker. Especially if you were never going to reach for it yourself but while holding it realized its appeal.

Man-Law

Men need only know 6 colors. Any man caught using fuscia, mauve or lavender in a sentence should be thrown out of the closet forever.

2nd. I do this all the time.

Yes.



MAN LAW:

Going Broke is a right of passage.

I'd like to amend this article, that if your drink is as big or bigger than your head it is acceptable under any circumstances, a la Wayne's World.

Dually noted and amended.

adendum: what about frozen margaritas with "top shelf" tequila

I feel like this thread was gone about in the wrong way.

Personally, I would have made it similar to the "square table" discussions in the ads, with a proposal, and ensuing discussion before confirmation as a man law.

Confirmed laws could then be added to the original post through the wonders of editing technology.


...but that's just me.

MAN-LAW: It is completely unacceptable for men to wear women's jeans, unless it is due to a bet with your buddies. This exception only applies to bets of monetary nature, no less than $500. Moshing at a emo concert with women's jeans on does NOT rationalize it; it makes the situation worse.

I don't see any reason for this one to even be discussed. Book it.

MAN-LAW.

MAN LAW: Men shall do as they please as long as it does not infringe upon the rights of others with the exception of not making any other dumb laws about ways men should act

Possibly, but only acceptable at a Jimmy Buffett concert or other similar event, and the temperateure must be above 85 degrees.


I'm pretty disturbed that this even needed to be mentioned.


don't be gay

Man Law : NOT having "Shake Zuma" as your avatar and thinking Stephen Bonnar is a "good" fighter....That's 2 strikes bud. WATCH OUT!

you don't know when to quit, do you kid?


keep it up

Careful, Shake.

This guy's wit is only matched by his unbridled stupidity.

Are you stalking me again?

could you pass me the tacos? could I have the tacos please? could you pass me the tacos? could you pass me the tacos!

And any wannabe SUVs; re: CR-V, RAV4

Man Law: Guys cannot own a pink Motorola RAZR phone. In fact, the RAZR itself is borderline queer.

You have violated a Man Law. Strike one.




Seconded.

Man Law:

No vegetable shall touch the first plate of any buffet pass unless either smothered in gravy or nacho cheese

Man Law: AMMENDED

No sentence shall begin with "I feel.." unless followed by a sports opinion or the groping of women.

Man Law:

No setting, unless financially detrimental, shall arise where a burp or passage of gas is quashed

JS, I don't get the 3rd one but I approve the other two.

Burp or fart whenever you want, unless you are in a job interview, etc.

So "I feel her boobs and...." is out?