Tactical Bear
Tuesday, December 18th, 2007, 12:04 PM
QUOTE (speedz99 @ Tuesday, December 18th, 2007, 2:05 PM)

I'm now obsessed with Lucille.
Lucille: I'll have the Ike and Tina tuna.
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.
Lucille: You tricked me.
Michael: I deceived you, Mom. Trick makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.
Lucille: Touché.
Her character is close to perfect. She's so consistent. The "I don't know and I don't care" bit is one of my favorite running gags.
Lucille: Michael Moore confronted me on national television.
Michael: First of all, that was not Michael Moore. That was a Michael Moore look-alike. And second it wasn't national television. It was for a bit, on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
Lucille: I don't know what that is nor do I care to find out.
And the way she treats her children is... just awesome.
Michael: [
At Police Station, on phone to Lucille] They're keeping me over night while I wait for my arraignment. I'd appreciate it if you could tell my son that I'm on a business trip.
Lucille: Why can't the girl at work do it?
Michael: Tobias? I sent him on a date with Kitty to keep her off our backs.
Lucille: Well, you better hope Lindsay doesn't find out. She'll be devastated.
Lindsay Funke: [
Enters room] Find out what?
Lucille: Your husband's dating Kitty, the whore. Lindsay Funke: He is? That's horrible.
[
Exits]
Lucille: [
to Michael] Do I know my daughter?
Lindsay Funke: Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.
Lucille: Not as much as you enjoyed yours. You want the belt to buckle, not your chair.
[
server sets a dessert of Bananas Foster on fire]
Lucille: You might want to let that fire go out before you stick your face in it.
Lindsay Funke: That's funny, 'cause I was gonna say "You might wanna lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol."
Lucille: Mine was better.
Lucille: I don't want to leave Buster alone with all the J-U-I-C-E.
Buster: I can spell, Mother; you spelled juice.
Lucille: What a genius. Let's see you find it.
Lucille: If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally.
Lucille: [
earlier that day] I don't care for Gob.
Lucille: She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for GOB.
Michael: I think that makes the joke on GOB.