Stumbled across this article, I pretty much skipped the top and went straight to the interviews with the delivery drivers. Some of the responses made me wonder if those guys post here frequently.


http://citypages.com/databank/26/1264/article12991.asp

I've wanted to be pizza man ever since I read Snow Crash. I have SO much free time, should I get a job and blog about it?

Yes, use the tips to fund you poker playing.

I have to be free for about four hours a day right now (sometimes I'll also need to run a weird errend or something). Other than that it's just poker and writing stupid **** on the Internet. I'm half-concidering this.

sucks for your car though

I don't like my car. I'll buy a new one with all that pizza money.

That's it, if I can generate the interest, I'll do it for two months.

and, you probably get free pizza.

I kinda' know this dude who manages a place in Atlanta. I used to have a huge crush on his sister. I'll bet they'll think this is hysterical. He's not answering his phone, but I think this is happening.

given I know you will make it extremely entertaining, I just want to throw my hat in the ring and say that I will do whatever I can to support this.
Dutch, whatever you need, whether it be fake delivery orders, ideas for hilarity, etc.

I'm sure you can think of plenty of hilarious characters you can play to spice up the hilarity. I'm envisioning one where you rent a Ferrari, and drive around wearing driving goggles and a driving neckerchief, while speaking in an affected accent.

You could have a character submission contest. Wang's ideas alone could keep you going for a month.

You're going to piss your pants if I get this job. I've got something lined up in that regard, I'll let you know tomorrow night.

Dutch, as a quasi-regular reader of your blog, I insist you do this.

I just sorta' stepped back and realized that if I do this, I'm going to be delivering pizzas. This is going to be the furthest I've even taken a joke. I guess it's too late to back out.

If I was moderately clever, I'd come up with more, but I trust that you'll get some great suggestions.
If only there was a way to have this be professionally filmed, but not have that affect anything, it'd be gold. Like a porno.

I'm actually nearly giddy in anticipation.

Wow. Dutch goes hard

It's good to test yourself. If you never push yourself, you'll never know how far is too far. I anxiously await your updates. Thanks for taking my weak ass thread to a whole new level.

Hank, you want me to set up my base camp here, or would perfer a new thread?

My friend delivers Pizza AND plays poker.

He LOVES his job...it is like a sickness..but the guy raves about his job and how fun it is.

Thanks for the link OP. That was interesting. I was glad they didnt over exaggerate thigns like sex with customers etc...

Hey Dutch, have you read Cryptonomicon?

If not, I definitely recommend it.

I was a pizza hack back in the day, nice way to make easy cash, plus free food, all while being able to get stoned the entire shift.

Here is the tip of the day: when you start to run across houses that regularly do not tip, make sure you do something vile to their pizza next time they order. At the low end of the spectrum, you can simply shake the pizza so the cheese gets all over the top of the box, always a nice pain in the rear for the cheap customer. At the higher end of the spectrum, well, you can use your imagination. (Let this be a lesson, always tip your pizza delivery person)

Hello iz thisz Dutch Pizzta ?


Idz liketa placet a ordor fer 2 large pies


Onx mine Idz liket fo toppins cheez peporonzi halerpeenos anz anchobies


Onz ma pops he wont fee toppins gizzords chickin necks anz fatbakz


Wes be waitin

And dont spect no tip neiter

Fred Sanferd




You old low life lazy good fer nuthin sinnin crook lyin no count heathin of a man



You bettar give tat boy a tip o Iz gonna lay thiz purse up side yo head



HEATHIN!

Wow. I'm a "Delivery Boy" and tonight our store just got robbed. Two black guys came in with guns and held up the front and 2 of the customers. Everyone in the back including me jammed out the back door and as were running they both come running after us or so we thought. They had the get away car parked in the apartment lot behind us. Scary.

I bet tat be dat damned Rollo


Son I tode ya notta hang round witd thad crook



Iz callin Smiddy an Hoppie



Esta howd you like one cross yo lips?

You're more than welcome to take this place over. Unless, you think it'll be easier for ppl to find under your nic with a new title etc. Do me one favor s'il vous plait, if you start a new thread link it in here so others can find it. cool cool. Anything to be associated with what I hope to be an epic thread, I'm such a starfucker.

I keep meaning to. Other posters I respect have given it very high recommendations. I'll see if I can talk myself into having them order it at the library.


Sure. Things are setting up nicely with the only real joke (car related) I have. Once I get a job, this will be my favorite of my acts of stupidity

It's a good read. I loved it.