Last year, I decided that "When in Rome" didn't get the repeat play that it deserved. Remember when Ace Ventura came out and EEEEVVVEERRYONE was yelling out AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLRIGHTY Then? No one gave the same coutesy to When in Rome. It deserved better.


So now I'm struggling to bring it back. I'm taking back When in Rome.


Also Porch Monkey. I'm taking back porch monkey.

"cool beans" always works

"I'd eat a mile of her sh*t just to see where it came from"



"Holy smoke, Batman.... that fart would stink a dog off of a gutwagon!"




Girl bent over... "Shes broke down like a .410 shotgun"



Comment to good lookin gal at a strip bar..."Hon, you look a little sick... come over here and get yourself a dose of Dr. Beans white-root-salve"

"Anyone can have bad breath Marge, but you could blow the buzzard off a shitwagon!"

After letting a loud smelly one in a crowded elevator.... "OOPS!....sorry guys, I was gonna take a sh*t last month, but forgot all about it"

When the going gets tough, leave

Done did it/

I'll get white black to ya'.

You guys are about as useful as tits on a bull,

or you guys are as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

i've always liked "son of a mother!"

Lick the shitter!

It can be used as a replacement for kiss my ass.

It can also be used in reference to someone who was hugging the porcelain, as in "Hey, you guys see Beans? Yeah, I think he had a few too many and he's up licking the shitter."

Boy... You hit the nail on the head with this one....


I sat at a blackjack table for 10 hrs last night/this morn. I went from Coronas to Crown-n-Cokes to bloodymarys to lickin the shitter....



I actually took a cab home for the first time.




At one point I was down $1600... just counted and I'm up $300



I hope I paid the marker though....