Did you and your friends forget to pace yourselves and pass out on the 14th fairway? I wanna hear about it.

Come on, let me hear some of your golfing shenanigans.

Not one of mine, but when I was caddying, there's a par 3 that goes over the water. One of the guys in my group sculled one, and it looked like it was going in the water. The ball skipped on the water about 6 times, ran onto the green, and into the hole for his first ever hole in one.

One day a member at my country club walked in the pro shop frustrated and asked me for a golf tip for his wife. He told me his wife was stung by a wasp between the 1st and 2nd hole, I told him to tell her to close her stance a bit. He didnt like the tip and ran out.

nh Ozi.



The other day I came home from a round, walked into the kitchen and slapped my wife.
She asked me why I did that.
I told her I was hitting everything fat today.

A-MAZING


Mind if I use that one at the golf course I work at?



Also I once was stuck behind a twosome that wouldn't let me pass that after the fourth hole decided to play the entire rest of the round with one hand.

1. I got a hole in one at a charity golf tournament for this guy who died that owned a car dealership. I was supposed to get a car but they said since i wasnt 18 they couldnt give it to me. So to be nice they brought me up on stage during dinner. I graciously took the mic and told them im glad he died and to bite me. I was not invited back next year

2. Geoff Ogilvy won the US Open and drank booze out of the trohpy
See pic
<---------------

A buddy and I got stuck behind an old man and lady one day. They ignored us and wouldn't let us play through. We finally got to a dogleg par 4 -- reachable for long hitters, but you couldn't see the green from the tee box. The senior tees were also around a corner and couldn't be seen.

My buddy decided it was time to play through. He ripped his drive over the trees of the dogleg and reached the green. Later, we found out that the golfers 2 groups in front of us were on the green at the time. They cussed out the old man, thinking it was him that hit up on them.

I was at a point in my golf career where I was not very sure of the distance I could get off of each club. Anyways, I was like 145 out, can't remember the club, but I hit it at east 30 yards over the green on to the next tee box. I went over there to get my ball and apparently I almost hit some 50 year old Indian women. Her and her husband were screaming at me and what not, and then the husband threw the ball at me and hit me in the head.

Next hole they're dickin around in the middle of the fairway within driving distance of me, I took dead-aim and landed it seriously within 5 yards of the husband. He turns around yelling I smile and wave. He reported me to the clubhouse and some ranger came and yelled at me.

This was to my dad and it wasn't really funny but it's a story... My dad and his brothers and dad went golfing for father's day. It was a par three course so my dad was on the green while one of my uncles was shooting from the fairway. My uncle hit it and I guess it hit my dad in the eye. Ever since then my dad hasn't been able to see out of his eye very well...

I was not here for this, but it's too good not to re-tell. My cousin played in a golf outing where each group got a stripper. They just wore thongs and tennis shoes and would bend over and get your ball out the hole when you putted in. Anyway, they were going down this hill in the golf cart and the path took a 90 degree turn in front of a pond. The stripper is driving, a guy is in the middle, and my cuz is on the right. They're flying down this hill and when she cuts it 90 to the left, the cart flips. The cart landed on my cuz's arm and cut/scraped it all up. While they're still there the next group comes down the hill and also has the stripper driving. They go to make the turn, but the cart on its side is there so she turns them right into the water in the cart.

I had an old driver, and after shanking my umptenth drive off the box on the day, I acted like I was gonna throw my club and did a baseball swing with it. Well, the head came flying off and nearly hit/killed my buddy waiting in the cart.

We had a good laugh. I blew him as an apology on the way to his ball.

FYP, Al.

was golfing at the club one day and I saw this happen, didn;t experience it myself, but a couple of guys were putting on the green at a water hole and another group was teeing off on the next tee with intersecting paths. The guys on the green hadn't put their cart in park and it was just resting on the cart of the guys teeing off, so once the guys teed off, the cart slowly rolled right into the pond!

I hit my girlfriend with my tee shot once....

She wanted to walk a bit ahead to "see where the ball landed",
so she took up a position about 30 yards ahead of the tee box,
just off to my right. I kinda said to her it maybe wasn't the best
idea I'd ever heard, but she wasn't worried, as I'm usually pretty
consistent off the tee....

Of course, trying to crush the ball and look cool, I skull the thing,
it bounces about 5 times and hits her square on her left calf.
Knocked her down like she was shot, as she shrieked the most blood
curdling scream I'd ever heard.

Golfers ran from other holes to see what had happened, it was bad..
All I wanted to do was load her in the cart and get the hell out of there...

I finished the round though...shot an 86. LOL

We were doing a golf/stag on Saltspring Island and had a friends cart with no gov. We took a corner with 3 or 4 of us in the cart and the guy on the end falls out. The cart skids a bit just enough to hit this guy in the ass and send him into the pond. He finished the round in his boxers.

Those Island boys drink and smoke dope way too much !!

I sliced a shot smack dab into a deer's hind leg once - the thing went crazy and hopped around for awhile....then ran off into the woods.

At the course I regularly play at, there are wooden 150 yard stakes just outside the fairway. Anyways, I put my drive maybe 2 yards away from this stake, and it was right in the line of my shot. So, I figured I'd play a slight draw to get around it. I line up my shot, take a nice full swing, and plant the ball straight off the stake, it flies backwards about 20 yards, right into the person that was spotting my ball. I must admit, he did a damn good job spotting it.

And another one for the hell of it. Was playing at another course, and the way the course is set up, to get to the 12th hole, you gotta go by the 14th teebox, which had a water cooler on it... so we stopped by that teebox to grab some water and watched the foursome that were there tee off. Well, the last guy gets up to hit. Guy tries to show off and really muscle the ball off the tee... almost completely whiffs and hits it off the toe of his driver... right into his buddies cart. The thing bounces around in the cart damn near 10 times before bouncing out back onto the teebox... incredibly the people in the cart weren't hit once.

I was playing golf well i was about 16 at a pretty nice course with my buddy. We were only a two some so they joined us with another two some. We got to play for like 25 bucks cause we were juniors but they had to play something like 180.

So we are on the second hole and one of the dude trys to hit a Tiger Woods Esq shot out of the woods and the ball comes back and hits him in the chest. Completely knocking the wind out of himself and hes rolling on the ground in pain

His buddy was standing by him and laughs so hard he completely pisses himself. ( I dont think he was drunk yet)

2 rounds of golf= $360

1 pair of dockers- $50

watching your buddy get hit with a golf ball in the chest and then pissing yourself- Priceless

This isnt that funny, but my friend was teeing off with a 3 wood. I do need to mention this was his 2nd time golfing ever. Anyway he creates probably the biggest divot i had ever seen done with a 3 wood and when we picked the divot up the tee was still inside of it while the ball had only gone probably 15 feet. He tee'd off again using the divot that still had the tee in it.