I know mine isn't as great as some of the brilliance that has been posted on here, but I thought I'd share mine....enjoy.....


Rizoss23: hey man, i was jus wonderin if there is any way u could stake or loan me a few bucks on pokerstars, nothing big, and I will pay back + some winnings. Also, if you want to collude, buy an ebook, or buy a pokerbot, then I can sell you one. I got your name off a poker forum or sometin 1 time. Just any chance?
RickerKioz: how do I know you're legit?
Rizoss23 returned at 3:51:56 PM.
Rizoss23: I can give you an ebook or sometin, give me a small amt. so you kno im legit
Rizoss23: Um... what else can I do?
RickerKioz: do you want a steak or do you want a handout?
Rizoss23: Stake
RickerKioz: there's a difference between the two
Rizoss23: or loan
RickerKioz: how do I know I'm not just throwing my money down the tubes?
RickerKioz: what steaks do you play?
Rizoss23: I either want you to loan me a small sum that I can play with at ring and pay back that amt. plus some
Rizoss23: Or I want a stake in a tourney of your choicing
Rizoss23: 70/30 chop or sometin
RickerKioz: what steaks do you play?
Rizoss23: I play .50/1 and 1/2 NL ring cash is my best, but I'm not asking you to give me money for that
Rizoss23: Especially with not knowing me
Rizoss23: I will play as low as you want so you can see im legit or whatever you need
RickerKioz: if you can play online already, why do you need a steak?
RickerKioz: I've never even heard of steaks online
Rizoss23: stakes*
RickerKioz: but I guess this is the internet ages
Rizoss23: it is
Rizoss23: Im 19, no way to put money online really
RickerKioz: where did you get this im name?
Rizoss23: Im not sure actually, buddy of mine who stakes me gave me a few forums and a few names
RickerKioz: ok
Rizoss23: i actually think you were from a forum tho
RickerKioz: well, let me quiz you
Rizoss23: Okay
RickerKioz: Say you have A 3 suited UTG, what do you do?
Rizoss23: UTG?
Rizoss23: fold it.
RickerKioz: WRONG
Rizoss23: how so?
RickerKioz: sorry
RickerKioz: got away from me
Rizoss23: Huh?
RickerKioz: ok
Rizoss23: its weak if 2 or more other players in hand
RickerKioz: it's the first hand of the World Series of Poker, seven players go all in before you and you look down at AA
RickerKioz: what do you do?
Rizoss23: hm..
Rizoss23: I'll be honest, this is probably wrong, But I call
Rizoss23: I lose with AA all the time, but odds are I win
RickerKioz: WRONG
Rizoss23: u should fold, i kno
RickerKioz: same situation, but this time it's 2 7 offsuit
RickerKioz: call or fold?
RickerKioz: there's a time limit
RickerKioz: 5
RickerKioz: 4
RickerKioz: 3
RickerKioz: 2
RickerKioz: 1
Rizoss23: Fold
RickerKioz: WRONG! WRONG WRONG WRONG!!
Rizoss23: Um.. dude
RickerKioz: how am I supposed to stake a losing player
Rizoss23: I'd beat you heads up any day
RickerKioz: I'd be throwing my money down the toliet if this is how you're responding
RickerKioz: ok
RickerKioz: last chance
Rizoss23: k
Rizoss23: gimme 10
RickerKioz: if you get this right, I'll steak you in the Super Wednesday
RickerKioz: ok?
Rizoss23: k
RickerKioz: ok
Rizoss23: ask
RickerKioz: I'm typing jackass let me get it out before
Rizoss23: k
RickerKioz: you tell me what to do
RickerKioz: this is a big steak
Rizoss23: k
RickerKioz: and you're ruining it by going too quickly
Rizoss23: k
RickerKioz: you have to let the steak marinate
RickerKioz: let it simmer
RickerKioz: go over it make sure you consider all the angles
Rizoss23: Alright
RickerKioz: ok
RickerKioz: now, you're at the final table of a major online tourney, you have half the chips in play and only four players left including yourself
Rizoss23: ok
RickerKioz: WRONG!
RickerKioz: goddammit
Rizoss23: lol
RickerKioz: I told you to wait for the question
RickerKioz: forget it
Rizoss23: im waiting
RickerKioz: nope
Rizoss23: k
Rizoss23: good day
RickerKioz: you ruined it
Rizoss23: Ur a ****ing idiot
RickerKioz: you're the one folding 7 2 offsuit
Rizoss23: hahhah
RickerKioz: it aint' called the HAMMER for nothing
Rizoss23: stake me a lil, play wit me
RickerKioz: let me think
Rizoss23: collude
RickerKioz: let me quiz you on some poker terms
RickerKioz: UTG means what?
Rizoss23: dont kno
RickerKioz: that's ok
RickerKioz: it means under the giraffe
Rizoss23: lol
Rizoss23: next
RickerKioz: I' m serious
RickerKioz: MP
Rizoss23: k
RickerKioz: do you know what that means?
Rizoss23: i duno, lol
RickerKioz: Mr Pussy...it describes anyone who limps in
Rizoss23: coo
RickerKioz: ok
RickerKioz: BB
Rizoss23: big blind
RickerKioz: actually
RickerKioz: most people think it stands for Big Blind
RickerKioz: and they're close
RickerKioz: it actually comes from Big Betty
Rizoss23: o
RickerKioz: Big betty used to only sit in the second seat
RickerKioz: back when the dealer button didn't move
RickerKioz: she was a big player back in the day
Rizoss23: i dont kno history, im 19
RickerKioz: ok
RickerKioz: that's ok
RickerKioz: part of me steaking you would be me teachign you as well
RickerKioz: make sense?
RickerKioz:
Rizoss23: good, mentor me
RickerKioz: that's what I'm trying to do
Rizoss23: watch me play
RickerKioz: where do you play at?
Rizoss23: Pokerstars
RickerKioz: I'm currently boycotting pokerstars
RickerKioz: wish I could
Rizoss23: where you play?
RickerKioz: joeys
Rizoss23: link
RickerKioz: it's a card room here in Jersey
RickerKioz: very hush hush
Rizoss23 signed off at 4:11:07 PM

BIG BETTY!

wow...between you and napa, we're going to have new terminology for every position in poker.

RickerKioz: now, you're at the final table of a major online tourney, you have half the chips in play and only four players left including yourself
Rizoss23: ok
RickerKioz: WRONG!


I thought that and the Big Betty part was funny.. I actually laughed out loud a little.. good stuff..

haha that guy is totally sucking up to you just hoping he still has a chance, even though his chance is gone, classic.
you were making fun of him and hes still saying things like:
ok
lol
yeah
me too

That is all, nh sir.

FYP..

You made me laugh out loud at work...

not good ... haha

That was absoloutly hilarious. Wow.

I just told him to "go to hell"

he just im'ed you?

risker:

if I ever ever ever dog on you for something stupid you say, just link me to this.

great impromptu dialogue.

if you are making this up, shame on you, but damn it's funny.

'
First off, my name is Ricker...but that's ok...I have fat fingers too.

and two, yes, this was all off the cuff. Things like this is actually how I make a living.

Well living is a stretch, but I do get paid to do things like this.

RickerKioz: ok
RickerKioz: BB
Rizoss23: big blind
RickerKioz: actually
RickerKioz: most people think it stands for Big Blind
RickerKioz: and they're close
RickerKioz: it actually comes from Big Betty
Rizoss23: o
RickerKioz: Big betty used to only sit in the second seat
RickerKioz: back when the dealer button didn't move
RickerKioz: she was a big player back in the day
Rizoss23: i dont kno history, im 19

WP.

He did at about 2 pm.

I only said 3 words to him, "go to hell"

his response, "yes sir".

bump, if anyone gets one of these clowns again, give them my IM.

I have plenty of good ideas...