Boys, it's been a rough ride for me the last few months. I can't win anymore, and I know why.. I am a very superstitious guy and it seems like every time I am with my lady friend, I keep losing and losing.. She is so bad luck, you have no idea.. Every time I sit with her in the living room and watch my game, or every time she talks, it's bad news. I know this for a fact because when I am out with my guy friends and call up the update line or watch the games in a bar, I have banner nights. I think she is starting to get suspicious of me when she keeps saying, honey, come sit with me here, OR sweetie, we don't spend time together anymore. I don't want to break her heart and tell her she is on her way to seeing her man go broke at this pace..

I am really considering being with a man from now on and leaving my GF.. I don't think there is anything wrong with men. They can protect you, they are strong, they are muscular and they understand us men. Anyways, it wouldn't really change much with me because everyone in the family thinks i am gay anyways. I am about to hit 40, not married, no kids.. They are really starting to question me. Men aren't really that bad.. I can live with being with a man. I just don't like hairy asses. I am not a big fan of the hairy ***. I will just ask him to shave if he's hairy. I am not really attracted to men at all (ok, maybe just a little ), however, I do like back door action a lot, and my GF doesn't mind doing it for me because i like it, but i know she finds it painful. She's always saying, ouch, easy, be careful, that hurts, gentle, gentle... A gay man loves it back door so i have no problem there. Plus, i am a premature ejaculator, i average about 2 min 24 secs per session. My lady gets upset when I finish too fast, but a man will understand and not get mad because he's a man, he's been there. And oral sex will be much better too because also here, he's a man and he knows what we men like.

So I am really considering going gay because at this pace, I will be broke in no time. I just cannot win a game with this lady next to me. SHE IS SO BAD LUCK, it's sickening..I have suffered about 12 bad beats this past month of December and I just can't take it anymore.. I'm sure I will get used to the testicles and the penis after awhile, it can't be that bad... I will miss the lady, but I just can't continue at this pace or I will be BROKE..

Women have been bad luck to me from DAY 1, I don't know why.. I just can't win around them..

This is a weird post. Good luck with whatever you do I guess.

I beleieve you about the girlfriend being bad luck. Same here, my wife is a curse. So many times have I been running good in MTT's but as soon as she walks in the room or says anything - its over. things just start falling apart. It sickens me. Im sure there are others. I wouldnt turn "vito" though. I love women tooo much. (oh hi honey)

Youve got serious social issues dude.


If you are really considering becoming a butt ranger I suggest you ease into it by hooking yourself up with a she-man. That way youll get the benifits of both without the shame.



Dang i think i just turned myself on with that idea


Ps. If you think the last few months have been a rough ride, wait till bubba gets a hold of you.

I'm gonna go ahead and try to forget I ever opened this thread.

GL in your future endevours OP, but this just weirds me out a bit.

I wise man once said, "Luck is taking the laws of probability personally... it's the excitement of bad math."

Read it, Learn it, Live it.




We men f-ing don't like other men to look at, touch, or think about our penises.

redpill?

I wonder how long it will be before Vito gets whacked...

Well...some don't....

This thread is gay

TG/GH

TG/PC

Think about that last statement. Use some logic.

This is one of the top 10 strangest threads ever to have existed on FCP. Batting from the other side of the plate to change your luck doesnt sound like a great idea. I mean, it's the same if you were unlucky at hitting fastballs for a couple months, when you were a .300 hitter before, so you decide to bat left handed.

I think your luck would be the same with a guy, except your butt hurts.(old joke, but I still laugh). Good luck struggling with your sexuality.

huh?

call me?

I'll shave my butt for you.

I just noticed this was moved from "Poker News" which makes it even funnier.

Well, I don't subscribe to the gay thing, but I'd have to agree with those who think their girlfriends are bad luck. I realise it's idiotic but I'm willing to swear that every time my gf starts talking to me when I'm playing, I might as well fold, regardless of my holding. Being occasionally reasonable, I understand that it is often a lapse in my own concentration and judgement that results in me donking off chips at these times, but the coincidence is frequent enough to have created the conspiracy theory in my mind.

Help me, I'm sick...

I have to say the OP's post was pretty fricken funny.

But there were a few questionable comments that are pretty ****ing disturbing... "butt ranger"? What are we in 2nd grade here? And the guy who gave a ---> for it? As if it were (a) original or ( actually funny?

Or what of the comment from brvheart? Does it really bother you that much? Is some gay person going to force himself on you? Turn you gay? Or give you that "tingley" feeling that instinctively causes you mask your mild/moderate attraction with homophobic actions/reactions? Considering your "location" is "behind you right now"--i think it is US that should be more concerned than you should be about some guy thinking about your ****.

I can't believe people still think like this.

The opposite is with me, whenever my gf comes in my room while I'm playing in a poker tournament, I tend to play better and cards start going my way. Of course, this would seem like a good thing...however, when she does come in the room and lays down or something she usually wants me to get off the computer and lay down next to her or go someplace else. This does create a bad situation...because the longer I stay in the tournament, the madder she gets.

Eventually she will just lay down and sleep, or go into another room and sleep. After I bust out (or win)...no matter what I tell her how much I've won...she won't be happy...sigh. My two favs were "Wow...you spend 6 hours for $500, you still could've spent that time with me" and "$1600? Wow *she was waking up at this time*...you made me wait for 3 hours of precious time we could've had together". She loves to play poker, she doesn't mind when I play poker....but she does mind when I play poker online when she's at the house with me (heck, she could be with me for 5 days staight and she'll get mad...but hey...I guess the madder she gets the more I win...crazy stuff)

My girlfriend is a helluva poker player in her own right, so I don't think of her as bad luck at all. Now if I was gay and had a man-lover and he was terrible at poker, maybe things would be different and I would turn straight. Glad my gf is good at poker! I would hate having to actually worry about what clothes I put on.

Monty

And another closet door swings open.



By the way it was the op who bragged about his love for butts.

LMAO Best response in this wierd thread.

where the hell is Speedz?

Do it.

Oh please. Now we have people making assumptions about others' sexuality due to posts that express disgust with childish, homophobic responses? We're hitting new lows here. Congrats on contributing to that.



I was commenting on the term "butt ranger" that has MAYBE a 2nd grade level of humor and is unbelievably unoriginal.


I guess i just didn't realize there were that many immature, insecure little gambling addicts we had around here.

I have a gay freind, he seems happy.

Also, he's a self-admitted man whore.

How is butt ranger homophobic.

What would you call openly professing your love of butts?? Butt hound?

Butt cleaver?











If i was called a clit ranger I wouldnt be the least offended.

And you are gay so just come to grips with it . You angry little man'


Ps. Stop insulting me with the second grade references. I finished second grade two years ago.

Didn't call the butt ranger homophobic---just childish. Re-read my posts. It was the comment by brvheart that reeked of homophobia.



OK--apparently you have an extremely overactive gay-dar----one that is rarely possessed by anyone straight. Then again, projection is a common psychological defense, so that could be it too.

And i'm hardly angry (but maybe i'm a little disgusted with ignorance and immaturity today), and definately not little.

What is sad is that you actually think you're somehow ripping on me.

Wanna know how I know You're gay?

Because you have a bumper sticker that says "I like balls in my mouth"./

Dammit. I knew that would give me away. And all this time i thought it was the sticker that said "I'm a bottom" in rainbow letters.

Gay dar one?? Is that good or bad??

err, it depends i think

Rofl. Funny because I laughed, and funny because it's true. I lived with a gay dude for a year in college (a fraternity brother who hadn't come out yet, but it was pretty obvious). The dude was the funniest guy I have ever met in my entire life.

Monty

PS They removed the Pornstar-who-shall-remain-nameless (cough rugdoctor) thread! Just as I was chiming in! Boo! Obviously it had to be done though, if it's not true it's libel and libel is baaaaaaddddd.

I have a gay friend too.


And he seems.....Gay!

Nice post. Thank you for posting it.

I believe (or I hope at least) that in 40 or 50 years, people will look on homophobia the same way they look at racism today (not that there is no racism today, but it is generally much less accepted in society than it was about 50 years ago).

Ok, so when I first saw this thread I read the first few sentences and wasn't impressed. Obviously I made a mistake by not reading the entire original post.

Personally, I think it was genius...whether it was a joke or not.

As someone mentioned, the best part may be that it was originally posted in the "Poker News" forum.

I don't really have all that much more to say on the topic. You all know how I feel...

If every1 was gay we would all die

Actually it's just asking a question. I dont think it's libel at all. Calling someone a pornstar shouldnt be an insult either, it's a legitimate profession like any other.


Funny? gay people arent funny. They're a very clean people. They have been ever since they came here from France.

lol to the second part

and well.... to the first part

There's like 5 or 6 or 7 different lawsuits you can bring regading libel/slander/intrusion of privacy/public discolsure of private or embarrassing facts/and a few other permutations

Whether that thread fell into any of the categories, is, for the lack of a better phrase 100% open to debate.

But the fact that it's open to debate means that the mods gotta take it down quick.

If someone posts "FullMonty is an inveterate cheat, he bots poker sits and takes it up the butt for money"," then they have libelled me.

Is it actionable libel? Dunno. Probably not. I'm not famous. It's not even my full real name.

But when you put real names and allegations of porno into the mix, it can get actionable real fast.

The people posting may have liability, the moderators may have liability, the forum owner has liability.

So it's just best to keep that on the hush-hush.

It's a developing area of law, internet libel, and there really aren't a lot of clear-cut answers or court cases to go by, so it's kindof a crapshoot.

Monty

PS Gay thread originally posted in Poker News = funny

Everybody does die, bozo.

Pssst..

We're all dying anyway.


Edit; Damn, Tim. Too late.

Uhhh....

am i the only one that thinks his 2 minutes and 24 seconds is actually decent??

comon thats not premature! thats me on a good day

QFT