"Ho Please

You better bow down on both knees

Who you think taught you to smoke trees?

Who you think brought you the o' G's?

Eazy-E's Ice Cube's and D.O.C's and Snoop D O double G's

And a group that said mutha****_ the police?"-- Dre.

This isn't my favorite, but since I know you're a closet Kanye fan, and it's pretty damn clever I'll post it.

Killin y'all niggaz on that lyrical_shit
Mayonnaise colored Benz, I push Miracle Whips

real playa like and str8 to the point
bust a nut while i'm smokin a joint
stop fuc/ing . . . still smoking
put my dic/ on her lips, say "open"

-too short

Ah, push it
Ah, push it

Oooh, baby, baby
Baby, baby
Oooh, baby, baby
Baby, baby

Get up on this!

Ow! Baby!
Salt and Pepa's here!

Now wait a minute, y'all
This dance ain't for everybody
Only the sexy people
So all you fly mothers, get on out there and dance
Dance, I said!

Salt and Pepa's here, and we're in effect
Want you to push it, babe
Coolin' by day then at night working up a sweat
C'mon girls, let's go show the guys that we know
How to become number one in a hot party show
Now push it

Ah, push it - push it good
Ah, push it - push it real good
Ah, push it - push it good
Ah, push it - p-push it real good

Hey! Ow!
Push it good!

Oooh, baby, baby
Baby, baby
Oooh, baby, baby
Baby, baby

Yo, yo, yo, yo, baby-pop
Yeah, you come here, gimme a kiss
Better make it fast or else I'm gonna get pissed
Can't you hear the music's pumpin' hard like I wish you would?
Now push it

Push it good
P-push it real good

Ah, push it
Get up on this!

Boy, you really got me going
You got me so I don't know what I'm doing

Ah, push it

Yo stop at the deli,
the theatre's over priced.
Yo got the backpack?
Gonna pack it up nice!
Don't wat security to get suspicious.
Mr. Pibb and Redvines = CRAZY delicious.
Yo reached in my pocket, pulled out some dough.
Girl acted like she'd never seen a ten befor!
It's all about the Hamilton's baby!
Throw the snacks in the bag and I'm Ghost like Swazee

You win this thread.

"Well let's hit up Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route
I prefer Mapquest
That's a good one too
Google Maps is the best
Tru dat. DOUBLE TRUE!
68 to Broadway, step on it sucka
What chu wanna do Chris? Snack attack, motha ##@%a!"

Touche.

" Reached back like a pimp and smacked the ho!!"

I've been lookin for a woman just to put my stamp on
But alotta ya'll are more stuck up than tampons (whoo)
So wash all you sins away and stop playin (yeah)
If God's line is busy you might have to two way him (uh hmm)
And catch me in your back yard playin crokay
And im drunk im tellin kids "drugs are bad umm-kay"
Or watch me swing my chains at the Rascals of Peko
Got seven cars get on my rims at chrome depo
And people think im bad they say "ooh he's so evil"
Cause i go on blind dates with actual blind people (owe)
But my albums out the store, yours be on the shelf (uh hmm)
I heard you masterbate alot so ya'll keep to yourself
Cause these women want a man to stay up and stay strong
Like the NBA, you gotta play hard or go home
All that **** that ya'll talkin ya'll can pop it to them
Cause Ludacris will beat you down with a prosthetic limb
I'll put so deep in your *** that you can smell it
And your breath'll turn to Footlocker water repelant
Im the man i got money far as the eyes can see
And im in a group i split do wit me me and me
So much money in my jewelry that im damn near sorry
So ima trade my earings in, and get a Ferrari (whoo)
I buy cars wit straight cash, have meetins wit Donald Trump
Yall meet wit Honda, no payments for 12 months (uh huh)
Take a look at your life and no wonder your so sad
Ya'll put up wit more **** than a colostomy bag

Basically any Jay-Z line (that he didnt bite)

"I ball for real y'all niggaz is Sam Bowie"

"I'm like UHaul, every b*tch movin I f*ck"

eminem

So I just, throw up a middle finger and let it linger
longer than the rumor that I was stickin’ it to Christina
Cause if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz
it'd be Jennifer Lopez, and Puffy you know this!
I'm sorry Puff, but I don't give a **** if this chick was my own mother
I still **** her with no rubber and cum inside her
and have a son and a new brother at the same time
and just say that it ain't mine, what's my name?

[Bizarre]
I'm a compulsive liar, settin my preacher on fire
Slashin your tires, flyin down Fenkel and Meyers
Plates expired, soon as I'm hired, I'm fired
Jackin my **** off in a bed of barbed wire
(Hey, is Bizarre performing?) ***** didn't you read the flyer?
Special invited guest will be, Richard Pryor
(Aren't you a male dancer?) Nah *****, I'm retired
****in your ***** in the *** with a tire iron
I'm ripped, I'm on an acid trip
My DJ's in a coma for lettin the record skip.. [*needle pops*]
Lettin the record skip.. [*needle pops*]
Lettin the record skip.. [*needle pops*] (Damn!)
[*DJ reverses the record and scratches it back on beat*]

The delivery is what pimps this verse, so it probably looks terrible in print.

Freeway on 1-900-hustler

First things first, watch what you say out your mouth
when you talkin on the phone to hus-tlers
Never play the house, think drought, keep heat in the couch
when you sittin in the presence of cus-tomers
Never hold out, pull out, throw heat and be out
if a nigga ever think that he touchin-ya
Lay low, get cake, whip all over the state
Stash dough, whip yay with, right amount of bake (hoe!)
Nigga too close went right around his place (yo!)
You stoppin dough when we clutchin the gats?
I know you heard "Friend or Foe," this ain't different from that
Make sure you got your four-four and he can slip if he like
Young, Jon Benet daughter missin tonight and yo
until you up stay away from them dykes and whores
Three smuts, two straights and a dyke
can pause one-three rumbles two streaks and a pipe for sure
And if it's tight, then he might come back for more
Nine and four, everyday back and forth
Winter to summer, 1-900-Hustler
Pass the number til you're stackin balls
Tell you how to weigh sh*t wet and package more
I take cash or write the check out to F-R
two E's, that'll be two G's
And forget my money I'm comin for all your ki's, nigga
{*click*, *dial tone*}

Ice, Ice, Baby.


Do do dum de dum da dum doom

kers2, why don't you change the punctuation, so we can better understand the rhythmic delivery?

him trying to explain how that differs from under pressure is one of the funniest tv moments ever

lol

The lyrical punctuation works just fine when you listen to it. Basically I am saying listen to it

"All a bruttha needs is a ***** and a gat. A n***** ain't down if it ain't like dat"

Heh...that was going to be mine.

i like big butts and i can not lie ....

In 9th grade, I knew EVERY lyric to that album. I not kidding. Every one.

please people, let me introduce you to cannibal ox

on the mic its all magic,
and i got short sleeves,
and im just that nice,
i might let you breathe
put a mic infront of me,
and im gonna bless it
humingbird style, 70 times in one second.

also

heads or tails,
the last cat who tried to see me
he now gotta touch brail

I have a whole bunch.. but i'll try to narrow it down to my favorite few..



"nigga please, like short sleeves I bear arms" - jay z/ brooklyns finest



"Don't be hesitant, sound cracks the sediment,

it's evident, we medicine for ya whole town,

Sky's the limit , games infinite when I'm in it.

All windows is tinted, you aint seein me when i'm in it.

Rap, we got it on lock man, stop that

Put that mic back down boy, drop that

Pharoahe's flows blows shows like afros

We hate ya'll though, that's why Nate Dogg goes..."

-pharoahe monch/ oh no



"Any formalities in the case of police brutality,

Ive escaped on finer details and minor technicalities.

Here's a verbal medley of deadly force used

Readily abused, in that old Ku Klux pedigree...

I'm like Hercules when I, work my knees

It's a search and seize that'll hurt indeed

God bless when the bullets hit the chest you'll back flip (SWAT)

Special Weapons and Tactics theatrics (HOT)

On ya block, we lock down all shenanigans

When we roll ya stand stiff like mannequins"

-Pharoahe Monch/ What is the Law

Never heard of him, but those lyrics look like WhiteBoy Rap, is it? Not that there's anything wrong with WhiteBoy Rap (I like it), I'm just curious. I'm intrigued now, might download some samples later on.

if youre referring to pharoahe monch.. no, he's black.. but he's obsessed with the cops.. he did a song on the training day soundtrack as well..


i couldnt quote the whole song but that last song is from the "point of view" of a white-NYC racist cop.. the first lines of the song are

"Officer Frank Pagliaruli said I hate spics and moolies..."

So yeah, that should explain the rest

I don't think I've seen any Nas here yet:

It's like that, you know it's like that
I got it hemmed, now you never get the mic back
When I attack, there ain't an army that could strike back
So I react never calmly on a hype track
I set it off with my own rhyme
Cause I'm as ill as a convict who kills for phone time
I'm max like cassettes, I flex like sex
in your stereo sets, Nas will catch wreck
I used to hustle, now all I do is relax and strive
When I was young, I was a fan of the Jackson 5
I drop jewels, wear jewels, hope to never run it
With more kicks than a baby in a mother's stomach
Nasty Nas has to rise cause I'm wise
This is exercise 'til the microphone dies
Back in eighty-three I was an MC sparking
But I was too scared to grab the mic's in the park and
kick my little raps cause I thought niggaz wouldn't understand
And now in every jam I'm the ****in man
I rap in front of more niggaz than in the slave ships
I used to watch C.H.I.P.S., now I load glock clips
I got to have it, I miss Mr. Magic
Versatile, my style switches like a faggot_
But not bisexual, I'm an intellectual
Of rap, I'm a professional and that's no question, yo
These are the lyrics of the man, you can't near it, understand
Cuz in the streets, I'm well known like the number man
In my place wit the bass and format
Explore rap, and tell me Nas ain't all that
And next time I rhyme, I be foul
Whenever I freestyle I see trial niggaz say I'm wow
I hate a rhymebiter's rhyme
Stay tuned, Nas, soon the real rap comes at halftime

Damn, I was just about to look this up.




Nate Dogg homies (singing)

Man I was dancing, prancing, laughing, bouncing, swinging
Moving, grooving, cause the music's booming
Macking, tryna get some action, packing, acting
Manish, drinking, tweaking, winking, peeping
Seeking a freak for the evening, really feeling way too horny
Reaking from the weed I'm token, choking, smoking, real doping, hoping
My nights wide open, knowing that my girl my girls at home
Snoring, boring, ignoring, warning that my girl was coming
Sudden mood interuption, busted my girl in the club



You kinda have to listen to the song to appreciate it, "Your woman has just been sighted (Ring the Alarm)"

I have tons, but I'll start with something a bit obscure....



AMG - Leather and Wood

"You thought it was when it wasn't."

2pac.

"Don't bark up that tree...it will fall on you."

-Jay Z (The Takeover)

That means Ho you been sh1tted on, I'm not the 1st dawg that sh1tted on your lawn.

brass monkey , that funkey monkey!

if I had a dime for every rhymer that bust guns
I'd have a cool mill for my sons in trust funds
when I was broker than a broke d ick dog
I always kept a L to smoke in thick fog

i wish i was a little bit taller , i wish i was a baller , i wish i had a rabbit in a hat.............

You stole mine!!

When I start spittin' them lyrics, niggas get very religious,
Six hail mary's, please father forgive us,
Young, the archbishop, the pope john paul of ya'll niggas,
The way ya'll all follow Jigga,
Hove's a livin legend and I'll tell you why,
Everybody wanna be Hove, and Hove's still alive.

Jay-z in Kanye's "Never Let us Down"

Digital Underground - Humpty Dance:

"I like to rhyme,
I like my beats funky,
I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy.
I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack
but sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
hey yo fat girl, c'mere--are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya fat.
Look at me, I'm skinny
It never stopped me from gettin' busy
I'm a freak
I like the girls with the boom
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
I'm crazy.
Allow me to amaze thee.
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me.
I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants
and I even got my own dance
{Chorus:}
The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Verse Two:
People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"
that's all right 'cause I get things cookin'
Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me
but ya can't get near me
I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B,
all the girls they adore me
Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere
'cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear.
My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid
I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge,
both how I'm livin' and my nose is large
I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid,
I use a word that don't mean nothin', like loopid."

This is good stuff:

Em introduced us
50 this is Tonya, Tonya this is 50
Then slid off and left her to kick it with me
I complimented her, I said you had very nice lips
With my imagination, I could see her suckin my dik
We played the phone game, a week later sht changed fast
Had her comin over in a cab to give me some as.s
Downtown Manhattan on the balcony stare at the skyline
Penthouse full of imported sht, you know how I grind
She got to talkin, talkin like a oppourtunist too
Why talk when suckin my dik is the real carrer move?
Says she's an inspiring actress she do videos for practice
Yeah, Yeah, now how many times I heard that sht..

I still haven't figured out how to outsmart the censors. I failed.

Skee-Lo's da bomb

Dead in the middle of Little Italy
Little did we know that we riddled to many middlemen who didn't do diddly

Big Pun

rap sucks, jmo

I'm not a big fan either, for the most part.

im a huge rap fan...alas 99.9% of the music i listen to is hip hop

First off, ****_ your bitch_
And the click you claim
West side when we ride
Come equipped with game
You claim to be a playa
But, I ****ed_ your wife
We bust on Bad Boys
niggas ****_ for Life
Plus Puffy tryin' to see me weak
Hearts I rip
Biggie Smalls and Junior Mafia
Some mark ass_ bitches_
We keep on coming
While we running for yah jewels
Steady gunning
Keep on busting at them fools
You know the rules
Little Ceasar go ask you homie
How i'll leave yah
Cut your young ass_ up
See yah in pieces
Now be deceased
Little Kim,
Don't ****_ with real ass_ G's
Quick to snatch your ugly ass_, off the streets
So ****_ peace
I'll let them niggas know
It's on for Life
Don't let the west side
Ride the night (ha ha)
Bad Boys murdered on Wax and kill
****_ with me
And get your caps peeled
You know, See



Grab your glocks when you see 2pac
Call the cops when you see 2pac, Uhh
Who shot me,
But, your punks didn't finish
Now, you 'bout to feel the wrath of a menace
nigga, I hit 'em up

Tupac?

correct i think the part where he says call the cops if you see 2pac gave it away though.

he pwns biggie and the whole bad boy "family" in this song

I didn't that part.

Multiple gunshots fill the block, the fun stops
Niggaz is callin cops, people shot, nobody stop
I wonder when the world stopped caring last night
Two kids shot while the whole block staring
I will never understand this society, first they try
to murder me, then they lie to me, product of a dying breed
All my homies trying weed, now the little baby's
crazed raised off Hennesey, tell me will my enemies
flee when they see me, believe me
Even Thugs gotta learn to take it easy, listen
Through the intermissions search your heart for a plan
and we turnin Bad Boys to grown men, it's on again
I give a holla to my niggaz in the darkest corners
Roll a perfect blunt, and let me spark it for ya
One love from a thug nigga rollin with a posse
full of paranoid drug dealers, to the end my friend

Pac - Starin through my Rearview

"Why is it you think you take a Ho to a hotel?"



Any guesses.