So I told my boss I had to stay home because I was having some plummers come and fix my apartment. I would have said I was sick, but I exausted that excuse last month. Anyway, long story short, I'm being useless from home today. Come celebrate my laziness in with me! I'll be watching tv in my underwear. Right now I'm watching this infomercial for the Magic Bullet. Anybody else seen this thing? It's amazing!
Edit: I think I should let you all know that I'm not wearing a shirt or pants today. Just putting it out there.
Full Version: I Called In Sick Today
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2843, 2844, 2845, 2846, 2847, 2848, 2849, 2850, 2851, 2852, 2853, 2854, 2855, 2856, 2857, 2858, 2859, 2860, 2861, 2862, 2863, 2864, 2865, 2866, 2867, 2868, 2869, 2870, 2871, 2872, 2873, 2874, 2875, 2876, 2877, 2878, 2879, 2880, 2881, 2882, 2883, 2884, 2885, 2886, 2887, 2888, 2889, 2890, 2891, 2892, 2893, 2894, 2895, 2896, 2897, 2898, 2899, 2900, 2901, 2902, 2903, 2904, 2905, 2906, 2907, 2908, 2909, 2910, 2911, 2912, 2913, 2914, 2915, 2916, 2917, 2918, 2919, 2920, 2921, 2922, 2923, 2924, 2925, 2926, 2927, 2928, 2929, 2930, 2931, 2932, 2933, 2934, 2935, 2936, 2937, 2938, 2939, 2940, 2941, 2942, 2943, 2944, 2945, 2946, 2947, 2948, 2949, 2950, 2951, 2952, 2953, 2954, 2955, 2956, 2957, 2958, 2959, 2960, 2961, 2962, 2963, 2964, 2965, 2966, 2967, 2968, 2969, 2970, 2971, 2972, 2973, 2974, 2975, 2976, 2977, 2978, 2979, 2980, 2981, 2982, 2983, 2984, 2985, 2986, 2987, 2988, 2989, 2990, 2991, 2992, 2993, 2994, 2995, 2996, 2997, 2998, 2999, 3000, 3001, 3002, 3003, 3004, 3005, 3006, 3007, 3008, 3009, 3010, 3011, 3012, 3013, 3014, 3015, 3016, 3017, 3018, 3019, 3020, 3021, 3022, 3023, 3024, 3025, 3026, 3027, 3028, 3029, 3030, 3031, 3032, 3033, 3034, 3035, 3036, 3037, 3038, 3039, 3040, 3041, 3042, 3043, 3044, 3045, 3046, 3047, 3048, 3049, 3050, 3051, 3052, 3053, 3054, 3055, 3056, 3057, 3058, 3059, 3060, 3061, 3062, 3063, 3064, 3065, 3066, 3067, 3068, 3069, 3070, 3071, 3072, 3073, 3074, 3075, 3076, 3077, 3078, 3079, 3080, 3081, 3082, 3083, 3084, 3085, 3086, 3087, 3088, 3089, 3090, 3091, 3092, 3093, 3094, 3095, 3096, 3097, 3098, 3099, 3100, 3101, 3102, 3103, 3104, 3105, 3106, 3107, 3108, 3109, 3110, 3111, 3112, 3113, 3114, 3115, 3116, 3117, 3118, 3119, 3120, 3121, 3122, 3123, 3124, 3125, 3126, 3127, 3128, 3129, 3130, 3131, 3132, 3133, 3134, 3135, 3136, 3137, 3138, 3139, 3140, 3141, 3142, 3143, 3144, 3145, 3146, 3147, 3148, 3149, 3150, 3151, 3152, 3153, 3154, 3155, 3156, 3157, 3158, 3159, 3160, 3161, 3162, 3163, 3164, 3165, 3166, 3167, 3168, 3169, 3170, 3171, 3172, 3173, 3174, 3175, 3176, 3177, 3178, 3179, 3180, 3181, 3182, 3183, 3184, 3185, 3186, 3187, 3188, 3189, 3190, 3191, 3192, 3193, 3194, 3195, 3196, 3197, 3198, 3199, 3200, 3201, 3202, 3203, 3204, 3205, 3206, 3207, 3208, 3209, 3210, 3211, 3212, 3213, 3214, 3215, 3216, 3217, 3218, 3219, 3220, 3221, 3222, 3223, 3224, 3225, 3226, 3227, 3228, 3229, 3230, 3231, 3232, 3233, 3234, 3235, 3236, 3237, 3238, 3239, 3240, 3241, 3242, 3243, 3244, 3245, 3246, 3247, 3248, 3249, 3250, 3251, 3252, 3253, 3254, 3255, 3256, 3257, 3258, 3259, 3260, 3261, 3262, 3263, 3264, 3265, 3266, 3267, 3268, 3269, 3270, 3271, 3272, 3273, 3274, 3275, 3276, 3277, 3278, 3279, 3280, 3281, 3282, 3283, 3284, 3285, 3286, 3287, 3288, 3289, 3290, 3291, 3292, 3293, 3294, 3295, 3296, 3297, 3298, 3299, 3300, 3301, 3302, 3303, 3304, 3305, 3306, 3307, 3308, 3309, 3310, 3311, 3312, 3313, 3314, 3315, 3316, 3317, 3318, 3319, 3320, 3321, 3322, 3323, 3324, 3325, 3326, 3327, 3328, 3329, 3330, 3331, 3332, 3333, 3334, 3335, 3336, 3337, 3338, 3339, 3340, 3341, 3342, 3343, 3344, 3345, 3346, 3347
Hah. I'm jealous. I thought about not coming in today too. Mondays always blow.
It's great so far except I lost my remote. I've been laying on the floor, changing the channel with my toe. I'm alternating between Sponge Bob, Scooby Doo, and SportsCenter.
QUOTE (mk @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:37 AM) 
Hah. I'm jealous. I thought about not coming in today too. Mondays always blow.
I got up at 1.30pm. It's now 4.39 pm, and I'm debating whether or not I should have a shower. This is how every day goes for me. I have no direction in my life, and won't for at least another 5 months. Worship me.
QUOTE (mk @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:37 AM)
Hah. I'm jealous. I thought about not coming in today too. Mondays always blow.
I watch Diagnosis Murder with **** Van Dyke.
Hey I faked sick so I could skip school today. What a coincidence!
QUOTE (Napa_Don @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:43 AM)
Hey I faked sick so I could skip school today. What a coincidence!
How old are you?
QUOTE (Filesharer @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 10:43 AM)
I got up at 1.30pm. It's now 4.39 pm, and I'm debating whether or not I should have a shower. This is how every day goes for me. I have no direction in my life, and won't for at least another 5 months. Worship me.
Haha. My job is actually really sweet. I'll probably just stop trading at noon and start playing poker. Lol.
QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 11:40 AM)
It's great so far except I lost my remote. I've been laying on the floor, changing the channel with my toe. I'm alternating between Sponge Bob, Scooby Doo, and SportsCenter.
Going to buy a universal remote is an acceptable reason to leave the house during a lazy-day.
Also acceptable:
Picking up Chinese Food
Ran out of Beer
House is on Fire
lazy bast.ard.
I'm gonna come out there and take your job.
I hope you didn't shower. It can't technically be considered a proper sick day if you shower.
I'm gonna come out there and take your job.
I hope you didn't shower. It can't technically be considered a proper sick day if you shower.
QUOTE (ajs510 @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:45 AM)
Going to buy a universal remote is an acceptable reason to leave the house during a lazy-day.
Also acceptable:
Picking up Chinese Food
Ran out of Beer
House is on Fire
Also acceptable:
Picking up Chinese Food
Ran out of Beer
House is on Fire
I'm thinking about it. Maybe sometime around 1:00. I'll probably go back to bed for a while soon.
Chinese food sounds pretty good too. Thanks for the suggestion.
QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:44 AM)
How old are you?
18 I have about 4 weeks of actual High School left and just decided I didn't want to go today.
I'm sitting here playing some poker, browsing the forums, playing some blast billiards and eating frosted mini wheats. Life is good.
QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:46 AM)
lazy bast.ard.
I'm gonna come out there and take your job.
I hope you didn't shower. It can't technically be considered a proper sick day if you shower.
I'm gonna come out there and take your job.
I hope you didn't shower. It can't technically be considered a proper sick day if you shower.
I don't even shower on the days I go to work.
QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 11:47 AM)
I'm thinking about it. Maybe sometime around 1:00. I'll probably go back to bed for a while soon.
Chinese food sounds pretty good too. Thanks for the suggestion.
Chinese food sounds pretty good too. Thanks for the suggestion.
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 11:48 AM)
I don't even shower on the days I go to work.
For some reason I kinda figured this.
And for NapaDon: Advice from an older person:
Have sex with as many high school girls as possible while it is still socially acceptable for you to do so.
QUOTE (Napa_Don @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:48 AM)
18 I have about 4 weeks of actual High School left and just decided I didn't want to go today.
I'm sitting here playing some poker, browsing the forums, playing some blast billiards and eating frosted mini wheats. Life is good.
I'm sitting here playing some poker, browsing the forums, playing some blast billiards and eating frosted mini wheats. Life is good.
Sweet. I think I'll play some blast billiards myself, and then rip my pubic hair out by the fistful out of frustration.
QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:50 AM)
And for NapaDon: Advice from an older person:
Have sex with as many high school girls as possible while it is still socially acceptable for you to do so.
Have sex with as many high school girls as possible while it is still socially acceptable for you to do so.
Way ahead of you buddy. But thanks for the advice.
QUOTE (ajs510 @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:45 AM)
Going to buy a universal remote is an acceptable reason to leave the house during a lazy-day.
I have one of those programmable universal remotes that operates the TV, DVD player, VCR, TiVo, and sound system. That thing goes through batteries like...something that goes through batteries very quickly. 4 AAA batteries every three days. I think I've almost exhausted the life of the rechargeable batteries. My personal favorite is when the batteries die in the middle of a fast forward on the tivo and there's no way of stopping it.
Also, I'll probably be at work today for 14 hours.
QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 11:50 AM)
For some reason I kinda figured this.
And for NapaDon: Advice from an older person:
Have sex with as many high school girls as possible while it is still socially acceptable for you to do so.
And for NapaDon: Advice from an older person:
Have sex with as many high school girls as possible while it is still socially acceptable for you to do so.
This is no bullshit, this needs to be done. Picking up your girlfriend from high school when you're 23 is just wrong on many levels.
QUOTE (Hobbes @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 11:53 AM)
I have one of those programmable universal remotes that operates the TV, DVD player, VCR, TiVo, and sound system. That thing goes through batteries like...something that goes through batteries very quickly. 4 AAA batteries every three days. I think I've almost exhausted the life of the rechargeable batteries. My personal favorite is when the batteries die in the middle of a fast forward on the tivo and there's no way of stopping it.
Also, I'll probably be at work today for 14 hours.
Also, I'll probably be at work today for 14 hours.
I have a Cuban houseboy named Pablo, he changes the channel for me. The whip never needs batteries.
Pablo! ESPN! NOW! *whip*
I listed him on the census last time, the government sent me a letter advising that they were less than amused.
QUOTE (mk @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:45 AM)
Haha. My job is actually really sweet. I'll probably just stop trading at noon and start playing poker. Lol.
Hey MK...what do u trade? Got a few friends at the Board and the Merc.
QUOTE (ajs510 @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:56 AM)
Pablo! ESPN! NOW! *whip*
:laughing hard on the inside, quietly on the outside face:
QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 11:25 AM)
Right now I'm watching this infomercial for the Magic Bullet. Anybody else seen this thing? It's amazing!
is it a vibrator?
QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 11:50 AM)
Have sex with as many high school girls as possible while it is still socially acceptable for you to do so.
wait..at what age does it stop being acceptable?
QUOTE (dms26 @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 9:06 AM)
is it a vibrator?
Hioooooooooooooooooooo!
It's a blender. It comes with everything you see here.
QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 12:10 PM)
Hioooooooooooooooooooo!
It's a blender. It comes with everything you see here.
It's a blender. It comes with everything you see here.
sweet, what do you get free if you call within the next 30 minutes?
QUOTE (dms26 @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 9:12 AM)
sweet, what do you get free if you call within the next 30 minutes?
You get the color coded save caps so everybody can know which magic bullet is theirs! However, you do lose your dignity and self respect. It's a pretty good trade I think.
QUOTE (dms26 @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 9:09 AM)
wait..at what age does it stop being acceptable?
That's what I was thinking.
I've watched the Magic Bullet infomercial about a dozen times...and it gets better every time.
Caleb...isn't the deal that if you buy one you get a second one free? Want to go halfsies?
Caleb...isn't the deal that if you buy one you get a second one free? Want to go halfsies?
im on spring break, i dont have anything to skip out on.
I have one class today that's starting.......NOW.
Damn, missed it. Time for some Tiger Woods 2006.
Damn, missed it. Time for some Tiger Woods 2006.
QUOTE (Napa_Don @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 11:53 AM)
QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 11:50 AM)
And for NapaDon: Advice from an older person:
Have sex with as many high school girls as possible while it is still socially acceptable for you to do so.
Not really that far ahead of you at all but I'm trying to look cool on the internet. But thanks for the advice.
FYP
Brasky you have fun today buddy it's your day!!
Kers you are a master of the double quote FYP.
I want to kiss you.
Open mouth.
I want to kiss you.
Open mouth.
QUOTE (leftygolfer @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 10:58 AM)
Hey MK...what do u trade? Got a few friends at the Board and the Merc.
Bonds. Not on the floor though. Screens. (Obv.)
yeah i stayed home too. had to drop my car off at the shop = perfect excuse not to go to classes.
just got free lunch from my buddy's deli, and now it's time for sweatpants, bed, and screwing around online for the next 10 or so hours
just got free lunch from my buddy's deli, and now it's time for sweatpants, bed, and screwing around online for the next 10 or so hours
QUOTE (speedz99 @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 10:12 AM)
I've watched the Magic Bullet infomercial about a dozen times...and it gets better every time.
Caleb...isn't the deal that if you buy one you get a second one free? Want to go halfsies?
Caleb...isn't the deal that if you buy one you get a second one free? Want to go halfsies?
I always want to buy one when I see the commercial, but the phone is always out of reach. Someday.
so, i read the OP and didnt bother to read any of the responses, mainly cause im lazy, but i couldnt help but notice that you posted this at 8:25 am.
good god man, why are you awake at 8:25 on a day off?
go back to sleep you over-acheiver!
did anyone else find this funny?
good god man, why are you awake at 8:25 on a day off?
go back to sleep you over-acheiver!
QUOTE (Filesharer @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:43 AM)
I watch Diagnosis Murder with **** Van Dyke.
did anyone else find this funny?
Update: I'm dominating Tiger Woods 2006.
QUOTE (JBradburn6 @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 2:22 PM)
Update: Anyone with the motor skills of a Kindergartener can dominate Tiger Woods 2006.
I'm sorry, but the Tiger Woods games are too easy. Even the new one they said was harder is cake.
QUOTE (kers2 @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 3:24 PM)
I'm sorry, but the Tiger Woods games are too easy. Even the new one they said was harder is cake.
Yeah, I didn't have any trouble with it either. Especially against the middle players (Rich Beem, guys like that), I was beating them 7 & 6 or worse every match. Quite a few didn't even make it past the 10th hole.
Did you ever figure out Trick Shot Mode? I messed with that game all day one Sunday and could never figure out where and how to use it...
QUOTE (kers2 @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 12:24 PM)
I'm sorry, but the Tiger Woods games are too easy. Even the new one they said was harder is cake.
Very true. I got it yesterday and am already losing interest. Might have to break out some Goldeneye when my roommates get back.
I just got up from my nap. It was splendid. I'm still not wearing pants, and I haven't showered.
Matt: Halfsies sounds great! I'm pumped.
Kers: Glad to see you made it in. You pwn the FYP.
Tgfyne: I was up because I had to call in sick. Kiss my assing.
Matt: Halfsies sounds great! I'm pumped.
Kers: Glad to see you made it in. You pwn the FYP.
Tgfyne: I was up because I had to call in sick. Kiss my assing.
QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 4:11 PM)
Tgfyne: I was up because I had to call in sick. Kiss my assing.
****ing I hate that. Every time I go out and get drunk with plans to call in sick the next day, I always have to set my alarm and wake up early anyways.
Quite the bummer.
QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 4:13 PM)
****ing I hate that. Every time I go out and get drunk with plans to call in sick the next day, I always have to set my alarm and wake up early anyways.
Quite the bummer.
Quite the bummer.
ummm yeeeaaaah, im gonna need you to come in on saaaturday...mm'k?
QUOTE (chrozzo @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 4:17 PM)
ummm yeeeaaaah, im gonna need you to come in on saaaturday...mm'k?
BLAST!
QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 1:11 PM)
I just got up from my nap. It was splendid. I'm still not wearing pants, and I haven't showered.
Tgfyne: I was up because I had to call in sick. Kiss my assing.
Tgfyne: I was up because I had to call in sick. Kiss my assing.
ah turd, i was unaware you had to wake up to call in, i retract my statement.
glad to hear you are still not wearing pants.
assing.
:bored in a warehouse face:
QUOTE (tyfgine @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 7:02 PM)
ah turd, i was unaware you had to wake up to call in, i retract my statement.
glad to hear you are still not wearing pants.
assing.
:bored in a warehouse face:
glad to hear you are still not wearing pants.
assing.
:bored in a warehouse face:
Where the F do you work????
QUOTE (mk @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 10:53 AM)
Bonds. Not on the floor though. Screens. (Obv.)
Yeah if u still were on the floor you would be a Turd Ferguson (dinosaur)
My bro traded muni's many moons ago.
QUOTE (tyfgine @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 4:02 PM)
ah turd, i was unaware you had to wake up to call in, i retract my statement.
glad to hear you are still not wearing pants.
assing.
:bored in a warehouse face:
glad to hear you are still not wearing pants.
assing.
:bored in a warehouse face:
It's all good. Just make sure never to underestimate my laziness again.
Adding "ing" to the end of curse words is my new thing.
Have you ever heard the Dane Cook stand up about the TV show you see when you call off sick from school/work? It's good.
That is all.
That is all.
QUOTE (fryer98 @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 9:01 PM)
Have you ever heard the Dane Cook stand up about the TV show you see when you call off sick from school/work? It's good.
That is all.
That is all.
i like the bonus track on his CD where he wakes up 6 hrs late for his job at the video rental place
"i was waiting for the clock to sprout liellt legs and say 'hahaaha, i'm just kidding, i was just being a stupid clock, playing stupid clock games' Dont do that clock! I dont like it when you play stupid clock games!"
QUOTE (fryer98 @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 9:01 PM)
Have you ever heard the Dane Cook stand up about the TV show you see when you call off sick from school/work? It's good.
That is all.
That is all.
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nenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenene
nenenenenenene........ne.....nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnne....nnnnnnnnnn
nnnnnnnnne.....nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenen
enenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenene
nenenenenenenenenenenenenene
QUOTE (kers2 @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 4:09 PM)
Where the F do you work????
im retarted, the thought never even crossed my mind. (it was early)
QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 4:52 PM)
It's all good. Just make sure never to underestimate my laziness again.
Adding "ing" to the end of curse words is my new thing.
Adding "ing" to the end of curse words is my new thing.
i already knew that shitting. i just like the word assing. it sounds like a delicious topping to put on an erotic cake.
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