FCP Poker Forum > I Called In Sick Today

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3009, 3010, 3011, 3012, 3013, 3014, 3015, 3016, 3017, 3018, 3019, 3020, 3021, 3022, 3023, 3024, 3025, 3026, 3027, 3028, 3029, 3030, 3031, 3032, 3033, 3034, 3035, 3036, 3037, 3038, 3039, 3040, 3041, 3042, 3043, 3044, 3045, 3046, 3047, 3048, 3049, 3050, 3051, 3052, 3053, 3054, 3055, 3056, 3057, 3058, 3059, 3060, 3061, 3062, 3063, 3064, 3065, 3066, 3067, 3068, 3069, 3070, 3071, 3072, 3073, 3074, 3075, 3076, 3077, 3078, 3079, 3080, 3081, 3082, 3083, 3084, 3085, 3086, 3087, 3088, 3089, 3090, 3091, 3092, 3093, 3094, 3095, 3096, 3097, 3098, 3099, 3100, 3101, 3102, 3103, 3104, 3105, 3106, 3107, 3108, 3109, 3110, 3111, 3112, 3113, 3114, 3115, 3116, 3117, 3118, 3119, 3120, 3121, 3122, 3123, 3124, 3125, 3126, 3127, 3128, 3129, 3130, 3131, 3132, 3133, 3134, 3135, 3136, 3137, 3138, 3139, 3140, 3141, 3142, 3143, 3144, 3145, 3146, 3147, 3148, 3149, 3150, 3151, 3152, 3153, 3154, 3155, 3156, 3157, 3158, 3159, 3160, 3161, 3162, 3163, 3164, 3165, 3166, 3167, 3168, 3169, 3170, 3171, 3172, 3173, 3174, 3175, 3176, 3177, 3178, 3179, 3180, 3181, 3182, 3183, 3184, 3185, 3186, 3187, 3188, 3189, 3190, 3191, 3192, 3193, 3194, 3195, 3196, 3197, 3198, 3199, 3200, 3201, 3202, 3203, 3204, 3205, 3206, 3207, 3208, 3209, 3210, 3211, 3212, 3213, 3214, 3215, 3216, 3217, 3218, 3219, 3220, 3221, 3222, 3223, 3224, 3225, 3226, 3227, 3228, 3229, 3230, 3231, 3232, 3233, 3234, 3235, 3236, 3237, 3238, 3239, 3240, 3241, 3242, 3243, 3244, 3245, 3246, 3247, 3248, 3249, 3250, 3251, 3252, 3253, 3254, 3255, 3256, 3257, 3258, 3259, 3260, 3261, 3262, 3263, 3264, 3265, 3266, 3267, 3268, 3269, 3270, 3271, 3272, 3273, 3274, 3275, 3276, 3277, 3278, 3279, 3280, 3281, 3282, 3283, 3284, 3285, 3286, 3287, 3288, 3289, 3290, 3291, 3292, 3293, 3294, 3295, 3296, 3297, 3298, 3299, 3300, 3301, 3302, 3303, 3304, 3305, 3306, 3307, 3308, 3309, 3310, 3311, 3312, 3313, 3314, 3315, 3316, 3317, 3318, 3319, 3320, 3321, 3322, 3323, 3324, 3325, 3326, 3327, 3328, 3329, 3330, 3331, 3332, 3333, 3334, 3335, 3336, 3337, 3338, 3339, 3340, 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3507, 3508, 3509, 3510, 3511, 3512, 3513, 3514, 3515, 3516, 3517, 3518, 3519, 3520, 3521, 3522, 3523, 3524, 3525, 3526, 3527, 3528, 3529, 3530, 3531, 3532, 3533, 3534, 3535, 3536, 3537, 3538, 3539, 3540, 3541, 3542, 3543, 3544, 3545, 3546, 3547, 3548, 3549, 3550, 3551, 3552, 3553, 3554, 3555, 3556, 3557, 3558, 3559, 3560, 3561, 3562, 3563, 3564, 3565, 3566, 3567, 3568, 3569, 3570, 3571, 3572, 3573, 3574, 3575, 3576, 3577, 3578, 3579, 3580, 3581, 3582, 3583, 3584, 3585, 3586, 3587, 3588, 3589, 3590, 3591, 3592, 3593, 3594, 3595, 3596, 3597, 3598, 3599, 3600, 3601, 3602, 3603, 3604, 3605, 3606, 3607, 3608, 3609, 3610, 3611, 3612, 3613, 3614, 3615, 3616, 3617, 3618, 3619, 3620, 3621, 3622, 3623, 3624, 3625, 3626, 3627, 3628, 3629, 3630, 3631, 3632, 3633, 3634, 3635, 3636, 3637, 3638, 3639, 3640, 3641, 3642, 3643, 3644, 3645, 3646, 3647, 3648, 3649, 3650, 3651, 3652, 3653, 3654, 3655, 3656, 3657, 3658, 3659, 3660, 3661, 3662, 3663, 3664, 3665, 3666, 3667, 3668, 3669, 3670, 3671, 3672, 3673, 3674, 3675, 3676, 3677, 3678, 3679, 3680, 3681, 3682, 3683, 3684, 3685, 3686, 3687, 3688, 3689, 3690, 3691, 3692, 3693, 3694, 3695, 3696, 3697, 3698, 3699, 3700, 3701, 3702, 3703, 3704, 3705, 3706, 3707, 3708, 3709, 3710, 3711, 3712, 3713, 3714, 3715, 3716, 3717, 3718, 3719, 3720, 3721, 3722, 3723, 3724, 3725, 3726, 3727, 3728, 3729, 3730, 3731, 3732, 3733, 3734, 3735, 3736, 3737, 3738, 3739, 3740, 3741, 3742, 3743, 3744, 3745, 3746, 3747, 3748, 3749, 3750, 3751, 3752, 3753, 3754, 3755, 3756, 3757, 3758, 3759, 3760, 3761, 3762, 3763, 3764, 3765, 3766, 3767, 3768, 3769, 3770, 3771, 3772, 3773, 3774, 3775, 3776, 3777, 3778, 3779, 3780, 3781, 3782, 3783, 3784, 3785, 3786, 3787, 3788, 3789, 3790, 3791, 3792, 3793, 3794, 3795, 3796, 3797, 3798, 3799, 3800, 3801, 3802, 3803, 3804, 3805, 3806, 3807, 3808, 3809, 3810, 3811, 3812, 3813, 3814, 3815, 3816, 3817, 3818, 3819, 3820, 3821, 3822, 3823, 3824, 3825, 3826, 3827, 3828, 3829, 3830

renaedawn

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 8:08 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Monday, March 20th, 2006, 3:13 PM)

****ing I hate that. Every time I go out and get drunk with plans to call in sick the next day, I always have to set my alarm and wake up early anyways.

Quite the bummer.

So don't.

You stumble in from the bar at 3am. You call then saying you've been up all night puking and you're not going to make it in to work tomorrow. Turn off the alarm and sleep till 1pm.

Kids, today. I swear.

ShakeZuma

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 8:10 AM

QUOTE (renaedawn @ Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 11:08 AM)

I've thought about that, but figured it would be too easy for them to know I was drunk. Didn't want to take that chance.

Maybe I'll call my mom next time and get her to call in for me. That'd be cute.

ajs510

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 8:12 AM

QUOTE (renaedawn @ Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 11:08 AM)

So don't.

You stumble in from the bar at 3am. You call then saying you've been up all night staring at Renae's avatar and you're not going to make it in to work tomorrow. Turn off the alarm and sleep till 1pm.

Kids, today. I swear.

FYP

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 11:10 AM)

See, I don't get sick or personal days so I just end up coming to work no matter what. I can sit at work and surf the Internet just as easily as I can at home, here I get paid.

renaedawn

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 8:15 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 10:10 AM)

I actually have had my roommate call in for me before. She said something like "Renae was holding the phone waiting for you to answer when another wave of nausea hit her so she handed me the phone and is now puking again. She won't be in today."

Nobody would believe you would make that up. It's too elaborate.

ShakeZuma

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 8:43 AM

QUOTE (renaedawn @ Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 11:15 AM)

brilliant.

I'm lucky in that I work with nurses and they always know of something going around. Turns out I get that something a lot.

doublemeup

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 9:07 AM

I called in sick today. I'm not sick either. WOOT! WOOT!

We need to sticky this thread.

turd ferguson

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 9:10 AM

I'm back at ****ing work today, I'm wearing pants, my neck hurts, I'm exausted, and I hate my life. I've been running pretty well in live cash games though so that's nice.

ajs510

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 9:11 AM

QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 12:10 PM)

I'm back at ****ing work today, I'm wearing pants, my neck hurts, I'm exausted, and I hate my life. I've been running pretty well in live cash games though so that's nice.

Don't you work alone? What's the point of pants?

CrackofmyACE

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 9:12 AM

I called in sick a couple weeks ago because I felt like going to Foxwoods instead of working then the following week I fell deathly ill with strep throat and had to miss another 2 days..... I am the boy who cried wolf in the eyes of my manager now.

Let that be a lesson to all of you. Karma will bite you in the ace eventually it never fails....

awwww f*ck it I might bang out tommorrow too

turd ferguson

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 9:13 AM

QUOTE (ajs510 @ Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 9:11 AM)

Don't you work alone? What's the point of pants?

People come in unexpectedly from time to time. The button is undone though.

ShakeZuma

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 9:13 AM

QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 12:10 PM)

I'm back at ****ing work today, I'm wearing pants, my neck hurts, I'm exausted, and I hate my life. I've been running pretty well in live cash games though so that's nice.

Dude, its not physically possible without removing a few ribs. Stop trying, you're gonna hurt yourself.

ajs510

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 9:15 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 12:13 PM)

Dude, its not physically possible without removing a few ribs. Stop trying, you're gonna hurt yourself.

Those ribs don't really do anything though, what do you need them for anyway? Get the saw, keep your eye on the prize.

turd ferguson

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 9:18 AM

You guys are just so clever aren't you?

kers2

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 1:04 PM

QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 12:18 PM)

You guys are just so clever aren't you?

They're just more motivated than you, that's all

Whenever I have to call in sick I plug my nose when I call. Gets em every time you sound like death on a stick.

mrdannyg

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 10:16 PM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 11:43 AM)

I'm lucky in that I work with nurses

working with nurses without 23 years of post-grad school is +ev

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Tuesday, March 21st, 2006, 12:13 PM)

Dude, its not physically possible without removing a few ribs. Stop trying, you're gonna hurt yourself.

that is simply not true.

that is all.

cu in 4years Dan

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 8:25 AM

BUMP

sorry but yeah to the OP i have seen that infromercial and it gives me the craps.
the acting on it is so shody, i mean they could have at least got better acters man!
ITS JUST A FREAKING BLENDER! A BLENDER IS MORE POWERFUL ANYWAY!!!!!!!!

ps i just farted

dms26

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:04 AM

QUOTE (mrdannyg @ Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006, 1:16 AM)

working with nurses without 23 years of post-grad school is +ev

first we need a description of said nurses.

ShakeZuma

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:07 AM

QUOTE (dms26 @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:04 PM)

first we need a description of said nurses.

yeah, well, they ain't what you'd think

none under 40, all have kids, and you can tell

this ain't no porno, friends

7upncider

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:09 AM

does any of the old nurses have hot daughters?

ShakeZuma

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:11 AM

I heard some of them talk about their daughters, but that ain't exactly the conversation I want to start up with a coworker

"Hey, so uh, can I bang your daughter?"

turd ferguson

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:14 AM

QUOTE (cu in 4years Dan @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 8:25 AM)

The acting on every infomercial is shoddy. What the ****ing do you expect? Besides, this blender is versatile and it turns into a personal cup afterwards.

dms26

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:16 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:07 PM)

yeah, well, they ain't what you'd think

none under 40, all have kids, and you can tell
this ain't no porno, friends

that's what I figured, the mental images are always much better.

ajs510

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:26 AM

Yeah, you're always more likely to find Nurse Ratchet than you are to find Nurse Candy.

ShakeZuma

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:31 AM

QUOTE (dms26 @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:16 PM)

that's what I figured, the mental images are always much better.

very much correct

see, I work in the hospital support building, away from the hospital.

now down at the hospital, however, is where the hotties are

I've contemplated breaking an arm or something just to talk to some of those chickas. Sad, yes. But they're hot, and they're nurses.

Habs Fan

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:33 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:31 AM)

very much correct

see, I work in the hospital support building, away from the hospital.
now down at the hospital, however, is where the hotties are

I've contemplated breaking an arm or something just to talk to some of those chickas. Sad, yes. But they're hot, and they're nurses.

If you're gonna break an arm, you might as well break both.

NO USE OF ARMS = SPONGEBATH

kers2

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:34 AM

QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:14 PM)

The acting on every infomercial is shoddy. What the ****ing do you expect? Besides, this blender is versatile and it turns into a personal cup afterwards.

You are going to start another revolution sir. Every time I say the word F*ck now I'm just going to say ****ing.

I want to ****ing Danica Patrick.

Where the ****ing did you go?

Apologies and props if someone else started it and you got it from them. Pure genious

dms26

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:36 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:31 PM)

very much correct

see, I work in the hospital support building, away from the hospital.
now down at the hospital, however, is where the hotties are

I've contemplated breaking an arm or something just to talk to some of those chickas. Sad, yes. But they're hot, and they're nurses.

groin pull?

ShakeZuma

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:38 AM

QUOTE (Habs Fan @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:33 PM)

If you're gonna break an arm, you might as well break both.

NO USE OF ARMS = SPONGEBATH

Well, that is a thought, but the problem lies in that if both arms are broken, and no sexy nurse penile touching ensues, I'll be left with quite a canundrum as to how to satisfy my man needs.

That is a problem I don't need.

QUOTE (dms26 @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:36 PM)

groin pull?

oh man, good thinking

I gotta put you on the payroll

turd ferguson

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:38 AM

QUOTE (kers2 @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:34 AM)

You are going to start another revolution sir. Every time I say the word F*ck now I'm just going to say ****ing.

I want to ****ing Danica Patrick.

Where the ****ing did you go?
Apologies and props if someone else started it and you got it from them. Pure genious

Renae informed me of the "ing" bypassing the filter, but I think I was the first one to use it in the incorrect tense. I could be wrong here though.

Habs Fan

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:39 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:37 AM)

Shitting you're right, I hadn't though of that.

Sofa cushions?

ShakeZuma

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:40 AM

QUOTE (Habs Fan @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:39 PM)

Sofa cushions?

damnit man, you made me laugh out loud in my office. everyone just got really quiet. shitting.

7upncider

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:42 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:11 AM)

I heard some of them talk about their daughters, but that ain't exactly the conversation I want to start up with a coworker

"Hey, so uh, can I bang your daughter?"

you dont go straight for it.. do this "hey i see you have a daughter does she like to fk or what cause im up for it if she does."

if this dont work go to the next one and repeat.. repeat as many times as needed...

j/k triing to brighten my bad day up with some amusement..

ajs510

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:44 AM

There's only minimal shame involved with hitting on girls on their way out of the abortion clinic.

Helpful Pickup Line: "Hey baby, you wanna see if they have a 2 for 1 special?"

ShakeZuma

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:45 AM

thats a good line, I'll try it

"So, I see you have a daughter. Would it be presumptuous for me to assume that she loves the coc.k? Cause I have one. Just sayin'."

turd ferguson

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:46 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:45 AM)

thats a good line, I'll try it
"So, I see you have a daughter. Would it be presumptuous for me to assume that she loves the coc.k? Cause I have one. Just serious."

FYP

I think it's better this way.

7upncider

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:47 AM

QUOTE (ajs510 @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:44 AM)

There's only minimal shame involved with hitting on girls on their way out of the abortion clinic.

Helpful Pickup Line: "Hey baby, you wanna see if they have a 2 for 1 special?"

this for some reason is ****ing hillarious.. im on my way over to try it out... be back later to let you know how it went...

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:45 AM)

thats a good line, I'll try it
"So, I see you have a daughter. Would it be presumptuous for me to assume that she loves the coc.k? Cause I have one. Just sayin'."

if it works let me know then i will try it myself.. j/s

kers2

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:49 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:45 PM)

thats a good line, I'll try it
"So, I see you have a daughter. Would it be presumptuous for me to assume that she loves the cocking? Cause I have one. Just serious."

FFYP

turd ferguson

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:50 AM

QUOTE (kers2 @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:49 AM)

FFYP

Money.

ShakeZuma

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:52 AM

all gold. I'm going to the bar again tomorrow night. The same one I went to last friday where I hooked up with some random girl and did her in my buddy's sister's kid's bed.

I will definately use some of these lines. And I thouroghly expect to get hit.

Timdog1010

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:54 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:52 AM)

all gold. I'm going to the bar again tomorrow night. The same one I went to last friday where I hooked up with some random girl and did her in my buddy's sister's kid's bed.
I will definately use some of these lines. And I thouroghly expect to get hit.

Now that's hot.

What kind of sheets?

Spiderman? Batman?

I need to know this.

And talk slowly...

turd ferguson

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:55 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:52 AM)

I miss being single.

7upncider

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:58 AM

yes im going to use my own lines tonight and try something different. maybe i'll get slapped to but only one way to find out.

Habs Fan

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:59 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:52 AM)

Dd you do her in the butt?

ajs510

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 10:03 AM

QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:55 PM)

I miss being single.

I was too good at being single, it was only a matter of time before I hooked up with a burner. Relationships are safer, and she's a good girl so all the better.

ShakeZuma

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 10:04 AM

QUOTE (Timdog1010 @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:54 PM)

Now that's hot.
What kind of sheets?
Spiderman? Batman?
I need to know this.
And talk slowly...

The sheets I don't know about, but the bed was freakin tiny. Probably no longer than 5 feet. I felt like a giant. Awesome. But it was definately a little weird and I feel kinda bad about it, but whatever. Fun nonetheless.

QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:55 PM)

I miss being single.

you should. I rule.

QUOTE (Habs Fan @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:59 PM)

Dd you do her in the butt?

You know what? I don't really know. I don't remember a whole lot about the actually doing it, I just remember that I was there and it was fun. I'm pretty sure I didn't though, cause that "route" tends to leave behind "evidence" that I didn't notice the next day.

Habs Fan

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 10:09 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 10:04 AM)

You mean your dicking wasn't covered in shitting?

Cause that would be another great reason for calling in sick, imo.

ShakeZuma

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 10:11 AM

Nope, it was fine. As a matter of fact, I remember that there was a distinct lack of any fragrance at all, something I have to say, I'm not used to.

I was impressed.

Habs Fan

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 10:16 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 10:11 AM)

Nope, it was fine. As a matter of fact, I remember that there was a distinct lack of any fragrance at all, something I have to say, I'm not used to.

I was impressed.

Great sig. It's funny cause it is true.

Timdog1010

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 10:17 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 10:11 AM)

Nope, it was fine. As a matter of fact, I remember that there was a distinct lack of any fragrance at all, something I have to say, I'm not used to.

I was impressed.

Sounds like somebody wants seconds...

turd ferguson

Friday, March 24th, 2006, 10:22 AM

QUOTE (Habs Fan @ Friday, March 24th, 2006, 10:16 AM)

Great sig. It's funny cause it is true.

LOL. I just saw that. Nice. Does anybody catch the reference in my signature? If not, I can post a link. Funny, funny stuff.

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