FCP Poker Forum > I Called In Sick Today

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3009, 3010, 3011, 3012, 3013, 3014, 3015, 3016, 3017, 3018, 3019, 3020, 3021, 3022, 3023, 3024, 3025, 3026, 3027, 3028, 3029, 3030, 3031, 3032, 3033, 3034, 3035, 3036, 3037, 3038, 3039, 3040, 3041, 3042, 3043, 3044, 3045, 3046, 3047, 3048, 3049, 3050, 3051, 3052, 3053, 3054, 3055, 3056, 3057, 3058, 3059, 3060, 3061, 3062, 3063, 3064, 3065, 3066, 3067, 3068, 3069, 3070, 3071, 3072, 3073, 3074, 3075, 3076, 3077, 3078, 3079, 3080, 3081, 3082, 3083, 3084, 3085, 3086, 3087, 3088, 3089, 3090, 3091, 3092, 3093, 3094, 3095, 3096, 3097, 3098, 3099, 3100, 3101, 3102, 3103, 3104, 3105, 3106, 3107, 3108, 3109, 3110, 3111, 3112, 3113, 3114, 3115, 3116, 3117, 3118, 3119, 3120, 3121, 3122, 3123, 3124, 3125, 3126, 3127, 3128, 3129, 3130, 3131, 3132, 3133, 3134, 3135, 3136, 3137, 3138, 3139, 3140, 3141, 3142, 3143, 3144, 3145, 3146, 3147, 3148, 3149, 3150, 3151, 3152, 3153, 3154, 3155, 3156, 3157, 3158, 3159, 3160, 3161, 3162, 3163, 3164, 3165, 3166, 3167, 3168, 3169, 3170, 3171, 3172, 3173, 3174, 3175, 3176, 3177, 3178, 3179, 3180, 3181, 3182, 3183, 3184, 3185, 3186, 3187, 3188, 3189, 3190, 3191, 3192, 3193, 3194, 3195, 3196, 3197, 3198, 3199, 3200, 3201, 3202, 3203, 3204, 3205, 3206, 3207, 3208, 3209, 3210, 3211, 3212, 3213, 3214, 3215, 3216, 3217, 3218, 3219, 3220, 3221, 3222, 3223, 3224, 3225, 3226, 3227, 3228, 3229, 3230, 3231, 3232, 3233, 3234, 3235, 3236, 3237, 3238, 3239, 3240, 3241, 3242, 3243, 3244, 3245, 3246, 3247, 3248, 3249, 3250, 3251, 3252, 3253, 3254, 3255, 3256, 3257, 3258, 3259, 3260, 3261, 3262, 3263, 3264, 3265, 3266, 3267, 3268, 3269, 3270, 3271, 3272, 3273, 3274, 3275, 3276, 3277, 3278, 3279, 3280, 3281, 3282, 3283, 3284, 3285, 3286, 3287, 3288, 3289, 3290, 3291, 3292, 3293, 3294, 3295, 3296, 3297, 3298, 3299, 3300, 3301, 3302, 3303, 3304, 3305, 3306, 3307, 3308, 3309, 3310, 3311, 3312, 3313, 3314, 3315, 3316, 3317, 3318, 3319, 3320, 3321, 3322, 3323, 3324, 3325, 3326, 3327, 3328, 3329, 3330, 3331, 3332, 3333, 3334, 3335, 3336, 3337, 3338, 3339, 3340, 3341, 3342, 3343, 3344, 3345, 3346, 3347, 3348, 3349, 3350, 3351, 3352, 3353, 3354, 3355, 3356, 3357, 3358, 3359, 3360, 3361, 3362, 3363, 3364, 3365, 3366, 3367, 3368, 3369, 3370, 3371, 3372, 3373, 3374, 3375, 3376, 3377, 3378, 3379, 3380, 3381, 3382, 3383, 3384, 3385, 3386, 3387, 3388, 3389, 3390, 3391, 3392, 3393, 3394, 3395, 3396, 3397, 3398, 3399, 3400, 3401, 3402, 3403, 3404, 3405, 3406, 3407, 3408, 3409, 3410, 3411, 3412, 3413, 3414, 3415, 3416, 3417, 3418, 3419, 3420, 3421, 3422, 3423, 3424, 3425, 3426, 3427, 3428, 3429, 3430, 3431, 3432, 3433, 3434, 3435, 3436, 3437, 3438, 3439, 3440, 3441, 3442, 3443, 3444, 3445, 3446, 3447, 3448, 3449, 3450, 3451, 3452, 3453, 3454, 3455, 3456, 3457, 3458, 3459, 3460, 3461, 3462, 3463, 3464, 3465, 3466, 3467, 3468, 3469, 3470, 3471, 3472, 3473, 3474, 3475, 3476, 3477, 3478, 3479, 3480, 3481, 3482, 3483, 3484, 3485, 3486, 3487, 3488, 3489, 3490, 3491, 3492, 3493, 3494, 3495, 3496, 3497, 3498, 3499, 3500, 3501, 3502, 3503, 3504, 3505, 3506, 3507, 3508, 3509, 3510, 3511, 3512, 3513, 3514, 3515, 3516, 3517, 3518, 3519, 3520, 3521, 3522, 3523, 3524, 3525, 3526, 3527, 3528, 3529, 3530, 3531, 3532, 3533, 3534, 3535, 3536, 3537, 3538, 3539, 3540, 3541, 3542, 3543, 3544, 3545, 3546, 3547, 3548, 3549, 3550, 3551, 3552, 3553, 3554, 3555, 3556, 3557, 3558, 3559, 3560, 3561, 3562, 3563, 3564, 3565, 3566, 3567, 3568, 3569, 3570, 3571, 3572, 3573, 3574, 3575, 3576, 3577, 3578, 3579, 3580, 3581, 3582, 3583, 3584, 3585, 3586, 3587, 3588, 3589, 3590, 3591, 3592, 3593, 3594, 3595, 3596, 3597, 3598, 3599, 3600, 3601, 3602, 3603, 3604, 3605, 3606, 3607, 3608, 3609, 3610, 3611, 3612, 3613, 3614, 3615, 3616, 3617, 3618, 3619, 3620, 3621, 3622, 3623, 3624, 3625, 3626, 3627, 3628, 3629, 3630, 3631, 3632, 3633, 3634, 3635, 3636, 3637, 3638, 3639, 3640, 3641, 3642, 3643, 3644, 3645, 3646, 3647, 3648, 3649, 3650, 3651, 3652, 3653, 3654, 3655, 3656, 3657, 3658, 3659, 3660, 3661, 3662, 3663, 3664, 3665, 3666, 3667, 3668, 3669, 3670, 3671, 3672, 3673, 3674, 3675, 3676, 3677, 3678, 3679, 3680, 3681, 3682, 3683, 3684, 3685, 3686, 3687, 3688, 3689, 3690, 3691, 3692, 3693, 3694, 3695, 3696, 3697, 3698, 3699, 3700, 3701, 3702, 3703, 3704, 3705, 3706, 3707, 3708, 3709, 3710, 3711, 3712, 3713, 3714, 3715, 3716, 3717, 3718, 3719, 3720, 3721, 3722, 3723, 3724, 3725, 3726, 3727, 3728, 3729, 3730, 3731, 3732, 3733, 3734, 3735, 3736, 3737, 3738, 3739, 3740, 3741, 3742, 3743, 3744, 3745, 3746, 3747, 3748, 3749, 3750, 3751, 3752, 3753, 3754, 3755, 3756, 3757, 3758, 3759, 3760, 3761, 3762, 3763, 3764, 3765, 3766, 3767, 3768, 3769, 3770, 3771, 3772, 3773, 3774, 3775, 3776, 3777, 3778, 3779, 3780, 3781, 3782, 3783, 3784, 3785, 3786, 3787, 3788, 3789, 3790, 3791, 3792, 3793, 3794, 3795, 3796, 3797, 3798, 3799, 3800, 3801, 3802, 3803, 3804, 3805, 3806, 3807, 3808, 3809, 3810, 3811, 3812, 3813, 3814, 3815, 3816, 3817, 3818, 3819, 3820, 3821, 3822, 3823, 3824, 3825, 3826, 3827, 3828, 3829

renaedawn

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:36 AM

QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 12:34 PM)

He's not really, but his posts are eerily similar.

Oh, good. You probably just saved me from an embarassing situation then. See, I've got a little crush on the Wang and, well, I'd have probably said something completely outrageous if I thought Ouch was him.

keith crime

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:36 AM

Niggaz, chill! This here is a mongoose. When you absolutely, positively, have to kill every mother****in' snake on the plane, accept no substitutes!"

ShakeZuma

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:37 AM

QUOTE (keith crime @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 1:36 PM)

Niggaz, chill! This here is a mongoose. When you absolutely, positively, have to kill every mother****in' snake on the plane, accept no substitutes!"

baaahahahahaha

Randy Reed

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:37 AM

QUOTE (renaedawn @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:36 AM)

Hmm, thing for Wangs and Yangs?

Maybe we could franchise, like Wings and Rings?

kers2

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:38 AM

QUOTE (keith crime @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 1:36 PM)

Niggaz, chill! This here is a mongoose. When you absolutely, positively, have to kill every mother****in' snake on the plane, accept no substitutes!"

Yes these snakes deserve to die!!! AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!!

ShakeZuma

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:40 AM

Look at the big brain on the snaaaakeee!

Timdog1010

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:42 AM

Ok Turd, here's the ultimate compliment to your groovy little thread.

I was just reading the Sports Guy, but it was kind of a long article.

About halfway thru I said 'screw this - taking too long to read. I've got to get back before I'm 10 pages behind'...

Whiskey16

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:45 AM

QUOTE (renaedawn @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 1:36 PM)

Oh, good. You probably just saved me from an embarassing situation then. See, I've got a little crush on the Wang and, well, I'd have probably said something completely outrageous if I thought Ouch was him.

Hey, InternetCumDumpster, Have you ever met a Wang you didn't like?

tyfgine

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:46 AM

QUOTE (Timdog1010 @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:42 AM)

I stopped trying to catch up, now I just jump straight into conversations with no frame of reference. It adheres to my general slacker attitude towards life.

speedz99

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:46 AM

QUOTE (Timdog1010 @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:42 AM)

What's the new article on?

Yes I realize that in the time I took to write that I could have checked myself. And with this whole explanation about taking time to check myself I could have even started reading it.

turd ferguson

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:47 AM

QUOTE (Timdog1010 @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:42 AM)

You're a stud, but I agree with the sentiment below. Don't feel like you have to read the whole thread. I've never read pages 65-70.

QUOTE (tyfgine @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:46 AM)

I stopped trying to catch up, now I just jump straight into conversations with no frame of reference. It adheres to my general slacker attitude towards life.

ShakeZuma

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:47 AM

QUOTE (speedz99 @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 1:46 PM)

:you said exactly what I was thinking when I was reading what you were saying face:

Ouch-8s

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:48 AM

Bizzle, Royal,
Screen names?
They are easy to guess.

this leads to the hotdog in the hallway sensation
QFT

We landed on the MOOOOOOOOON!
No the Iceman was a group of five posters. Shimmering Wang just eventually decided to branch off and make his own screenname. Now he's Ouch-8s.
I've decided to stop arguing this theory.

Dude, seriously? I did not know that. I never finished reading the thread where Wang was taking applications for a new name.
Cool!
I wonder if Wang will return and how he will feel about his co-opted identity.

He's not really, but his posts are eerily similar.
Yes, I spent some time reading that Wang dude's old posts and he was one funny ****ering.

Oh, good. You probably just saved me from an embarassing situation then. See, I've got a little crush on the Wang and, well, I'd have probably said something completely outrageous if I thought Ouch was him.
I'M WANG, I'M WANG!!! Or at least, I'm willing to pretend...

speedz99

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:48 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:47 AM)

:you said exactly what I was thinking when I was reading what you were saying face:

*high five*

ShakeZuma

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:49 AM

QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 1:47 PM)

I've never read pages 65-70.

oh thank god... thats where I told everybody I have herp....eeh uh, nevermind

Randy Reed

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:50 AM

Last one.....

Little RONNIE was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy
bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give
you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little RONNIE replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a
time?" Little RONNIE answered, "No, he minded his own ****ing business."

Timdog1010

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:50 AM

QUOTE (speedz99 @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:46 AM)

The Clippers.

And hoops is kinda my thing, so you'd think I could have gotten thru it.

But i guess I like you guys more than the Sports Guy now...

:have I said too much? face:

turd ferguson

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:51 AM

QUOTE (kers2 @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:35 AM)

That's a bold statement sir

It's not an opinion. Take a look for yourself. I'm not dissing the Army thread, I'm just sayin....

kers2

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:52 AM

QUOTE (Timdog1010 @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 1:50 PM)

The Clippers.

And hoops is kinda my thing, so you'd think I could have gotten thru it.

But i guess I like you guys more than the Sports Guy now...

:have I said too much? face:

5 mins here, 5 mins reading sports guy

It works

turd ferguson

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:52 AM

QUOTE (Randy Reed @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:50 AM)

I'm really enjoying these jokes. Don't stop.

RhinestoneCowboy

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:53 AM

QUOTE (Timdog1010 @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 12:50 PM)

The Clippers.

And hoops is kinda my thing, so you'd think I could have gotten thru it.

But i guess I like you guys more than the Sports Guy now...

:have I said too much? face:

<----- owns a 7 year old clippers T-shirt and had a Clippers starter jacket when I was in high school. Long time sufferer...made it easier for me to get through it..and I only had a couple pages to catch up on.

Randy Reed

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:54 AM

QUOTE (RhinestoneCowboy @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:53 AM)

<----- owns a 7 year old clippers T-shirt and had a Clippers starter jacket when I was in high school. Long time sufferer...

I feel your pain being a long timeNati Bengal fan

Hobbes

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:56 AM

:In case others don't read past pages and might've missed this after they were gone face:

QUOTE (loogie @ Thursday, April 6th, 2006, 4:10 PM)

Turd,

I haven't read any of this thread, but I had to tell you the I was thoroughly disappointed to go to clownpenis.fart and not find your blog.

I have one btw. http://singlefileeyes.blogspot.com if you're ever bored. Zero poker content.

Best wishes on whatever the F this giant thread is about.

I love the Untapped comics.

Timdog1010

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:56 AM

QUOTE (Lolli @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:55 AM)

I'm bored! My make out session with Royal has ended..he had to get back to work. I've been dissed by a "pretty big deal".
:sadandlonelyface:

:how you doin? face:

kers2

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:56 AM

QUOTE (RhinestoneCowboy @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 1:53 PM)

It's my birthday!! Someone get me a cheap hooker!!

FYP

turd ferguson

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:56 AM

QUOTE (Lolli @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:55 AM)

I'm bored! My make out session with Royal has ended..he had to get back to work. I've been dissed by a "pretty big deal".
:sadandlonelyface:

We've all been there. It's the reason I only sleep four hours a night.

Bizzle

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:57 AM

QUOTE (Habs Fan @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 1:01 PM)

Bizzle, Royal,
Screen names?

Our FCP names are the same as here (but preface mine with Billy). My SN is in my profile.

QUOTE (Ouch-8s @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 1:01 PM)

Watch out for ATs. I'll be watching for you.

Bring it.

As always, Ouch puts up another solid set of posts.

Off to read Simmons.

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:57 AM

I feel like I don't even know this thread anymore.

It's been minutes.

Bizzle

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:58 AM

QUOTE (Lolli @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 1:58 PM)

:I'm freezing and can't stop shivvering face:

We noticed.

RhinestoneCowboy

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:58 AM

QUOTE (Bizzle @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 12:57 PM)

Our FCP names are the same as here (but preface mine with Billy). My SN is in my profile.

I think habs is playing in the 30+3 today. Royal, Bizzle, and everyone else was talking about the 30+3 on Sunday for the barrage.

Kers.. ::lookingforhishookerface::

Timdog1010

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:59 AM

QUOTE (Lolli @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 9:58 AM)

:I'm freezing and can't stop shivvering face:

:let me warm you with my body heat face:

...I'm running out of faces...

Randy Reed

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:00 AM

Okay turd, an encore..

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for
a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same
sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with,
"My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.

She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

She said, "Excellent, Michael!"

Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RONNIE. "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just ****ing beautiful!'"

Ron_Mexico

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:01 AM

QUOTE (turd ferguson @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 5:19 PM)

I was boycotting smileys a while back so I started making my own custom ones. It turns out that making your own is a lot more fun and less annoying at which to look.

Quoted for truth baby.

:quoted for truth face:

QUOTE (Ouch-8s @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 5:24 PM)

. :It was a scene, man face:

I'd have to go out and buy a bunch of lotions and jellies, get all new friends, orgy friends.

QUOTE (Timdog1010 @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 5:42 PM)

Just read it. Ok, good article. I always want to laugh more. He's been a lazy fck lately.

In three weeks.
1 chat
1 Mag article
1 mailbag
1 Clippers article

I can't quit Simmons.

Ouch-8s

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:02 AM

QUOTE (Randy Reed @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 11:00 AM)

"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just ****ing beautiful!'"

That made me LOL. IRL.

Is there a limit on how many posts we're allowed to quote in a single post? I fixed my post above Smash-style, but I don't know why it got FUBARed in the first place.

Hobbes

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:04 AM

QUOTE (Hobbes @ Monday, April 3rd, 2006, 11:27 AM)

Anybody read the article in Sports Illustrated that had an interview with Bill Simmons? He said he was going to stop writing the Sports Guy in about 18 months and move on to something different. Good article though; it was about the proliferation of blogs as reporting and how the internet is changing how sports is reported.

RhinestoneCowboy

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:06 AM

QUOTE (Ouch-8s @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 1:02 PM)

That made me LOL. IRL.

Is there a limit on how many posts we're allowed to quote in a single post? I fixed my post above Smash-style, but I don't know why it got FUBARed in the first place.

1. There is a limit, but I am not sure how many it is
2. Saying something is "Smash-style", yet you only joined in January leads me to believe you are a new screen name for someone else

::keeping up the propaganda face::

Hobbes,
I didn't see that. Thanks for quoting yourself. You are awesome.

speedz99

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:06 AM

QUOTE

Linky link? Is it on the si.com as well?

We all saw how well his last "something different" went with the Kimmel show...

Hobbes

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:07 AM

I think all of my posts have a quote in them.

:irony face:

turd ferguson

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:07 AM

Hey Lolli. Why did it take you so long to come out of your shell and actually start posting?

Ouch-8s

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:07 AM

QUOTE (Ron_Mexico @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 11:01 AM)

I'd have to go out and buy a bunch of lotions and jellies, get all new friends, orgy friends.

Dear Diary,

Wow, exciting day! First I told a fun story about why I have moustache now, and then - are you ready for this? RON MEXICO QUOTED ME! :happy dancing in place face: Can't write for too long, I gotta go find my calendar and put a big red X on today, because now I have arrived!

Ouch-8s

renaedawn

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:08 AM

QUOTE (Randy Reed @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 12:37 PM)

Hmm, thing for Wangs and Yangs?

Maybe we could franchise, like Wings and Rings?

That's so 1.4.

QUOTE (Whiskey16 @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 12:45 PM)

Hey, InternetCumDumpster, Have you ever met a Wang you didn't like?

Shut up. I hate you. Eat me.

QUOTE (Ouch-8s @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 12:48 PM)

I'M WANG, I'M WANG!!! Or at least, I'm willing to pretend...

No, I AM BIG YANG!

Ouch-8s

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:09 AM

QUOTE (Hobbes @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 11:07 AM)

I think all of my posts have a "quote" in them.

:irony face:

FYP

Hobbes

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:09 AM

QUOTE (speedz99 @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 11:06 AM)

Linky link? Is it on the si.com as well?

I don't know if the actual article is on si.com, but they put up the full interview with Simmons.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writ...mons/index.html

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:10 AM

In other news, I traded my assing off to make no money today...

Whenever you guys think your job sucks, think of me and the days when I pay them to come to work.

Ouch-8s

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:10 AM

QUOTE (RhinestoneCowboy @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 11:06 AM)

Yeah, I've been lurking forever.

kers2

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:11 AM

QUOTE (Lolli @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 2:09 PM)

Not sure really. In person you can't shut me up though!

lol

Someone else wanna take this or should I?

turd ferguson

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:11 AM

QUOTE (Lolli @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 11:09 AM)

Not sure really. In person you can't shut me up though!

If only there was something to put in your mouth to keep you quiet...

Hobbes

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:11 AM

Excerpt from interview:

"Now, I really feel like I have a year or a good 18 to 20 months left in me."

Hobbes

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:13 AM

QUOTE (Lolli @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 11:09 AM)

In person you can't shut me up though!

Are you a screamer?

keith crime

Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:14 AM

QUOTE (Lolli @ Friday, April 7th, 2006, 10:12 AM)

Be nice to me!!!

turd thought he was being nice
so did ron on his first sexual encounter when he finished alone - well in that case he was probably right

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