FCP Poker Forum > I Called In Sick Today

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Habs Fan

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:34 AM

QUOTE (leftygolfer @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:32 AM)

Need your help.
I need to come up with a witty location in the "from" category

How about From dusk till dawn, my posts are a yawn.

ajs510

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:34 AM

QUOTE (leftygolfer @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 11:32 AM)

Need your help.
I am going back to Phil Mickelson aka the original leftygolfer avatar.

I need to come up with a witty location in the "from" category

My thoughts:

1. Amy Mickelson's stud muffin
2. Amy Mickelson's boy toy
suggestions/comments/concerns

Gotta go with Mickelson's unofficial personal acronym, I would think:

FIGJAM = Fuck I'm Good, Just Ask Me

JBradburn6

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:37 AM

QUOTE (mk @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:11 AM)

performing what I'm sure was terrible cunnilingus on this girl

Good use of the word cunnilingus. Definitely her fault for not shaving though.

Timdog1010

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:38 AM

If Mickleson's your avatar then 'Washing Tiger's balls' should be your location...

ajs510

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:39 AM

QUOTE (Timdog1010 @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 11:38 AM)

If Mickleson's your avatar then 'Washing Tiger's balls' should be your location...

Nice!

Bizzle

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:40 AM

Blah, just had a mini-emergency at work, or at least as much of an emergency that is possible. Missed mk's story and all that came after. Never had a chance to refind an image of the chastity belt from Robin Hood Men in Tights.

I hate Tuesday.

ajs510

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:41 AM

QUOTE (Bizzle @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 11:40 AM)

I hate Tuesday.

Know the feeling, I'm actually working today too, but I've been able to find time to keep up for the most part.

JBradburn6

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:45 AM

My most recent embarrassing story:

This morning in my tax accounting class I had to run out of the class, didn't make it to the bathroom and threw up about 5 feet outside of the door. Only like 2 people saw at the time, but I'm pretty sure a lot of them heard. Plus, when everyone was leaving class I think they put the vomit on the floor and me running to the door together.

The bartenders overserved me last night, it's really not my fault.

Hobbes

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:52 AM

QUOTE (Bizzle @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:40 AM)

I can see the image...

Habs Fan

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:52 AM

QUOTE (Lolli @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:51 AM)

My head hurts..badly!

I was wondering when you'd show up.

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:53 AM

QUOTE (JBradburn6 @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 10:45 AM)

The bartenders overserved me last night, it's really not my fault.

A Monday?? Monday?

ShakeZuma

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:54 AM

wow, glad to see at least two of us had a good time last night.

Hey ****tardians... I just ordered my table. I went for the good one from PokerOutlet. Now I'm just waiting on the shipping company to call me to set up delivery. I'm quite excited.

ajs510

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:55 AM

QUOTE (mk @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 11:53 AM)

A Monday?? Monday?

Q - What possible reason could there be for going to a bar on a Monday?

A - Because it's open.

Habs Fan

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:55 AM

QUOTE (Hobbes @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:52 AM)

I can see the image...

Is this what you were expecting?

Hobbes

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:57 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:54 AM)

wow, glad to see at least two of us had a good time last night.
Hey ****tardians... I just ordered my table. I went for the good one from PokerOutlet. Now I'm just waiting on the shipping company to call me to set up delivery. I'm quite excited.

Cool, which was the good one?

I think I'm using my NCAA pool winnings on a nice table and chairs and a new set of chips.

QUOTE (Habs Fan @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:55 AM)

Is this what you were expecting?

Interesting, but actually I meant that the picture shows up on my computer in his post.

leftygolfer

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:58 AM

QUOTE (JBradburn6 @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:45 AM)

My most recent embarrassing story:

This morning in my tax accounting class I had to run out of the class, didn't make it to the bathroom and threw up about 5 feet outside of the door. Only like 2 people saw at the time, but I'm pretty sure a lot of them heard. Plus, when everyone was leaving class I think they put the vomit on the floor and me running to the door together.

The bartenders overserved me last night, it's really not my fault.

I just threw up thinking about being in a tax accouting class again

Habs Fan

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:59 AM

QUOTE (Lolli @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:57 AM)

Too many shots of goldshlagger (sp).

I'm gonna need to see some I.D

Bizzle

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:00 AM

QUOTE (Hobbes @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 11:57 AM)

I think I'm using my NCAA pool winnings on a nice table and chairs and a new set of chips.

Good work by the way. Glad you didn't hedge (like was suggested yesterday).

QUOTE (Lolli @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 11:57 AM)

I'm a little slow today. Too many shots of goldshlagger (sp). I don't know what possesses me to drink that, it doesn't cooperate with me too well!

Yeah, I was wondering where the crazy drunken ramblings that were promised were last night.

ShakeZuma

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:01 AM

QUOTE (Hobbes @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 11:57 AM)

Cool, which was the good one?

I think I'm using my NCAA pool winnings on a nice table and chairs and a new set of chips.
Interesting, but actually I meant that the picture shows up on my computer in his post.

it was the $350 one from poker outlet, 61" round with folding legs. normally I don't like folding legs, but this one looks like it can easily converted to a stationary table.

JBradburn6

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:02 AM

QUOTE (mk @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 7:53 AM)

A Monday?? Monday?

Monday's one of my favorite nights to go out. The bars aren't overcrowded like the weekend, it's happy hour all night long (another reason why I threw up this reason), and everyone who's out on a monday night is obviously there to binge drink.

Oh yeah, and we had been drinking since 3 because it was Opening Day, so the bars were inevitable.

ShakeZuma

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:05 AM

QUOTE (JBradburn6 @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 12:02 PM)

you're still in college, I'm assuming

Randy Reed

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:12 AM

QUOTE (Lolli @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:08 AM)

Last time I drank goldschlagger I ended up dancing on the pool table to "I touch myself"..so my husband thought maybe I would repeat the performance..instead he had to hold my hair back while I puked in the parking lot.

I like you more everyday

Bizzle

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:14 AM

QUOTE (Randy Reed @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 12:12 PM)

I like you more everyday

:shaking head at seeing the smiley face face:

Randy Reed

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:15 AM

oops!

ajs510

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:16 AM

:this time you're the hydrant face:

Hobbes

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:18 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 9:01 AM)

it was the $350 one from poker outlet, 61" round with folding legs. normally I don't like folding legs, but this one looks like it can easily converted to a stationary table.

This one, yes? I like it. http://www.pokeroutlet.com/pt60_poker_tables.html

Green or burgundy?

I really like this one a lot, but I hate the chip slots. Doesn't everybody prefer to stack their chips?

http://www.pokeroutlet.com/5830_poker_tables.html

ShakeZuma

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:22 AM

QUOTE (Hobbes @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 12:18 PM)

yep, thats the one, in green

and yeah, I like that one too, but you're right, chip slots are for suckers. the one I bought is the nicest round table I've found without chip slots. I'm sure you'd be able to get one custom made, though.

Hobbes

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:22 AM

QUOTE (Lolli @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 9:08 AM)

When I was in high school (no, it's not another one of those stories), my friend's mom was driving us somewhere and that song came on the radio. She started humming along to it because she liked the melody, but wasn't paying attention to the words. Finally my friend said, "Uh, mom, do you know what she's singing?" I don't know who was more embarrassed, him or his mom.

Bizzle

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:23 AM

So my Dad calls me the other night, and the convo goes a little something like this-
Dad: "Hey Peter, we have a little problem. I asked Older Umpire A to do the umpire training clinic, but he is busy umpiring games all of the weekends until the season starts for other leagues, so he can't do it. I then tried to ask Older Umpire B to do it, but I can't get ahold of him, as he has retired and is letting his son run the series of subways. I then asked Williamsport Umpires A and B to do it, but they never get back to me, so the odds of them doing it are slim to none. I then thought about asking one of the younger guys (Bizzle sidenote: younger than me) to run the clinic, but then I realized that we don't have any young guys that will be around that weekend to do it. Finally, I asked Board Director A to do it, but he has a game to coach, and his brother Board Director B is his assistant coach. So what I'd like to know is if you would be willing to do it?"
Me: *knowing how a girl feels when a guy asks 20 other girls to the prom, and then asks her* "Uhmmmm sure Dad, whatever."

Hobbes

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:23 AM

QUOTE (Lolli @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 9:20 AM)

I need to go jump in the shower, then were off to buy landscaping rock.

TPIWWP?

I'm interested in landscaping...

ShakeZuma

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:25 AM

QUOTE (Bizzle @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 12:23 PM)

long story...

hahahaha

your name is Peter

Hobbes

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:25 AM

QUOTE (Bizzle @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 9:23 AM)

Me: *knowing how a girl feels*

You are half male.

Do you do a lot of umpiring? How do you get started with that?

Bizzle

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:25 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 12:25 PM)

hahahaha
your name is Peter

:rofl face: I figured someone would post that.

QUOTE (Hobbes @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 12:25 PM)

Do you do a lot of umpiring? How do you get started with that?

I do do a lot of umpiring, and if I ever needed a somewhat serious part time job on the side, I would probably get more serious about it and do the older leagues. I got started because when you are 13 or 14, there just aren't many jobs that you can do legally or semi-legally, and umpiring seemed like a good chance to make some serious dough at the time (little did I know that $12 for behind the plate for a 2 hour game was a pittance). Nowadays I do it mostly because I enjoy it and it is a hell of a workout (try doing 200 squats in a row to get down to the level of 12 year olds and you will know what I mean).
In terms of getting started, figure out a level you would like to work at, and then contact the league that runs that level and find out where they get their umpires from. In Fairport, our youth (12 and under) umpires are run from within the Fairport Little League (I did all the scheduling for a long while) and our older (13 and up) umpires are hired from an organization that trains and certifies umpires called RDUA.

ajs510

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:27 AM

QUOTE (Hobbes @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 12:23 PM)

TPIWWP?
I'm interested in shower scenes...

FYPTSMN

ShakeZuma

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:28 AM

QUOTE (Bizzle @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 12:25 PM)

:rofl face: I figured someone would post that.

I figured it was appropriate. Good story though.

Hobbes

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:28 AM

QUOTE (ajs510 @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 9:27 AM)

FYPTSMN

Fixed your post to see more nudity?

ajs510

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:29 AM

QUOTE (Hobbes @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 12:25 PM)

You are half male.
Do you do a lot of umpiring? How do you get started with that?

When he told me about this I offered cash upfront to teach the umpires to yell TOUCHDOWN! and make the appropriate arm motions whenever a kid scores a run.

He declined.

QUOTE (Hobbes @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 12:28 PM)

Fixed your post to see more nudity?

To Suit My Needs

Yours works too though...

Hobbes

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:30 AM

QUOTE (ajs510 @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 9:28 AM)

When he told me about this I offered cash upfront to teach the umpires to yell TOUCHDOWN! and make the appropriate arm motions whenever a kid scores a run.

He declined.

I think the best umpire training would be to just show them the baseball scene from The Naked Gun.

Bizzle

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:33 AM

QUOTE (Hobbes @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 12:30 PM)

I think the best umpire training would be to just show them the baseball scene from The Naked Gun.

Very true.

You ****ers post fast, so my first answer to Hobbes is a little ways up.

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:33 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 11:25 AM)

hahahaha

your name is Peter

I feel retarded for always assuming your name was Billy.

ShakeZuma

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:35 AM

yeah, where does Bizzle come from?

ajs510

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:35 AM

QUOTE (mk @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 12:33 PM)

I feel retarded for always assuming your name was Billy.

The story behind Billy Bizzle is great, but you really have to meet Peter to get full effect. I made him tell me during a break last week.

ShakeZuma

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:36 AM

QUOTE (ajs510 @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 12:35 PM)

The story behind Billy Bizzle is great, but you really have to meet Peter to get full effect. I made him tell me during a break last week.

aahhh... story time needs to be held

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:38 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 11:36 AM)

aahhh... story time needs to be held

Truth!

Hobbes

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:39 AM

QUOTE (Bizzle @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 9:25 AM)

Nowadays I do it mostly because I enjoy it and it is a hell of a workout (try doing 200 squats in a row to get down to the level of 12 year olds and you will know what I mean).

It seems like a cool side job as long as the kids are old enough to know what they're doing.

I played some catcher my senior year and after a while the whole squatting over and over and over again gets really old. But I can totally see why a guy like Piazza doesn't want to DH and wants to catch even though he can't throw anyone out and you take a beating. It's still a lot of fun back there.

QUOTE (mk @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 9:33 AM)

I feel retarded for always assuming your name was Billy.

Me too.

Bizzle

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:45 AM

QUOTE (ajs510 @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 12:35 PM)

The story behind Billy Bizzle is great, but you really have to meet Peter to get full effect. I made him tell me during a break last week.

This is true, you ****eringers won't truly appreciate it if I just tell it to you.

But I will anyways.

Back in high school, I was easily the biggest 9th grader ever. I was a hulking 5'2, 90 lb machine. I got called up to Varsity swimming during the season, but I was the only freshman to do so. In our school district, the high school is separate from the 9th grade school, so I knew noone on the team at all. Naturally, I am scared shitless. I basically didn't speak for about 2 months every day at 3 hour practice, mainly because I was afraid of being pounded. If I said more than 3 words in a given day, I was feeling talkative. Naturally, none of the older guys could remember my name. They called me random stuff (like you as in "Hey, you" or little guy, as in "hey, little guy") until one day, I was in the swimmer hallway being my nerdly self and getting a head start on homework before practice. Our best sprinter, named Gavin, walked around the corner into the hallway, pointed at me, and said "Billy Bob." I looked up and the name stuck. I later found out that he stole the name from the movie Varsity Blues, from the lineman.

Fast forward about 3 or 4 years. Myself, a buddy of mine, and my brother are in our basement one random afternoon drinking some beer and watching some random TV. We stumble across the greatness known as Doggy Fizzle Televizzle, which is easily one of the best shows MTV has ever put on. We start using -izzle on the end of every word, like "Yo, go get me some pretzizzles" or "Yo, that chick has nice breastizzles." One of the other two said, "Yo, Billy Bizzle, go get me some beerizzle" and the name just sort of stuck.

Now, most guys that I know call me just Bizzle, whereas some girls call me Pete, some Petey, and some Bizzle.

ShakeZuma

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:49 AM

and this has been story time with Billy Bizzle.

good stuff.

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:50 AM

Yay!

Habs Fan

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:50 AM

QUOTE (ShakeZuma @ Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:25 AM)

hahahaha
your name is Peter

Aww, shitting. My name is Peter also.

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006, 8:51 AM

Hey, did AIM just crash on you, bizz?

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