It's on. I'm issuing a challenge to Daniel for the title "Supreme Overlord of Poker." The loser of this challenge will be "Supreme Overlord of Poker, Jr." or "Supreme Assistant to the Overlord of Poker" (he gets to choose).

There will be no money involved in this challenge... on my end. Daniel will pay me $100,000,000 if he loses. If I lose, I will give him my booklet of free car wash coupons. There were originally five, but I have used one (1) of them already. So that's four free car washes vs. his hundred million dollars, and the aforementioned titles about poker supremacy.

The game we play will be one of my choosing, and invention. I call it "Blazing Hot Poker #4." The rules shall be made known to Daniel on a need-to-know basis, i.e. as we play hands and he violates the rules. After he learns the rules, we may switch games; I haven't decided. We may play hold 'em after Daniel gets really, really drunk. If I get really, really drunk I am going to bed, and will be declared winner by default. So WATCH OUT. That may happen pretty quickly, it depends how much liquor Daniel brings with him. I really can't afford liquor. I drink tap water mostly... for now.

The game will be held at the My House in Indianapolis Casino. Daniel will not be allowed to cheat. The cards will be marked but only I can know the secret code that unlocks their markings. I will also wear special sunglasses that make this really easy. I will give you a hint - a large AS on the back of a card means ACE OF SPADES. But good luck figuring out the rest, "Kid Poker"! If that IS your REAL NAME!

So that's my challenge, Daniel. You'll do it if you aren't a SCAREDY CAT LITTLE WEINER, nyah nyah nyah. (Let it be officially noted that I stuck my tongue out just now and made that "raspberry" noise.)

Sincerely,

Duke Poker Figglebottom the Excellent, Esq.

This post is brilliant....LMAO.

I will donate one free bucket of golf balls to sweeten the pot for Daniel.

Still laughing very hard.

Seriously, why in tarnation are you wasting Danile's Time like he is actually going to play you for nothin more than a carwash. Are you some kinda crazy man thinking up this crack pot sceme? Daniel isn't going to waste his time comming over to where ever the hell you live just cause you challenged him. Are you some kinda moron? I mean cmon why would some great poker star like Daniel seriously want to play you for just a damn carwash. He has no interest in playing for some stupid title you just made up. Get with the times these pros have busy schedules! They don't have time to puppy play around with the likes of you.

Oh, not again....I can't tell if Texas boy here is joking or serious.

He'll do it if he wants that poker Lordship he's been after all these years. I don't know if you realize this, but an official royal title is the only reason anyone plays poker. Money is just the gravy; a title is the pot roast AND the mashed potatoes.

You boys are talking a bunch of hallabalu. Daniel don't want to mess with no puppy players like you two morons. He has better things to do.