The other day i was walking down the street when suddenly a man walked up to me and flopped his ____ right into my face. Delighted I responded by offering him some of my _____.

Immediately he said "Glad to meet a fellow _____"

Inspired by meeting a new friend we headed to the _______.

Once there we said hello to Lucretia who asked whether we wanted to an hour or a half hour sessiong in the ______

Obviously we wanted an hour and requested that Freddie joined us with his ________.

Once we had undressed my new friend reached for his ______ and inserted it into my ______.

Extremely happy with the events of the day I quickly said "________" and _______ with glee!

Keith, you know I am fond of you and I do appreciate the shout out, but nobody is going to put the time in to do this.

Now get on your knees and let me tickle your epiglottis.

The other day i was walking down the street when suddenly a man walked up to me and flopped his enormous left nipple right into my face. Delighted I responded by offering him some of my milky sauce.

Immediately he said "Glad to meet a fellow switch hitter"

Inspired by meeting a new friend we headed to the Rainbow Alliance rally.

Once there we said hello to Lucretia who asked whether we wanted to an hour or a half hour sessiong in the chamber.

Obviously we wanted an hour and requested that Freddie joined us with his beagle.

Once we had undressed my new friend reached for his enormous left nipple and inserted it into my belly button.

Extremely happy with the events of the day I quickly said "Good Luck" and waddled away with glee!

I stand corrected. Actually, I'm sitting. Nicely done.

TY plenty of time at work

on a side note I watched Mallrats for about the 3000th time last night.

My 2 favorite lines that crack me up everytime

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"That kid is back on the escalator again!"

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"Look its a scooner!"

"HAHA! You dumb bastard, its not a scooner, its a sailboat"

"A scooner is a sailboat stupid head"

hey dna check out this review i wrote for mallrats - my opinion of the original has gone up since by the way

MALLRATS (TV version)
by Brad Laidman
(2001-12-07)

2001, Rated PG, 90 Minutes, View Askew

Wasn't the Pink Floyd Dark Side of The Moon/"The Wizard of Oz" rumor fun? I mean even if it wasn't true, it gave us bored, seen-it-all watchers of popular entertainment a new way to enjoy something really familiar. Who hadn't seen "The Wizard of Oz" at least twelve times? Dark Side? My guess is that even non-fans of Pink Floyd (and how many of those could there really be out there?) must have at least heard that disc upwards of twenty or so times, and yet this weird rumor that they were related gave us a new way to enjoy both of them.

Personally, I think that the lesson to be learned here is that despite the hundreds of channels in our new pop-saturated world, we must always be on the lookout for opportunities to reinvent our forms of popular entertainment. These reinvented forms of amusement can often times be more enjoyable than even the subject in its first viewing.

Here's something that I have found to be almost infinitely amusing. Check out Kevin Smith's MallRats on the FX channel. My guess is that it's on at least twice a week. Before you label me insane, stay with me for a second. Sure, MallRats is everyone's unanimous choice as Kevin Smith's worst movie. My guess is that people who have Smith's picture up on their wall wouldn't even disagree. Please be warned I'm not asking you to go out and rent MallRats. That would probably be a disappointment. After all you didn't like it the first time. No, I'm telling you to check it out on the FX Channel.

MallRats was originally rated R and its language and subject matter alone well deserved that rating. Kevin Smith, like Mamet and Tarantino before him, loves to pepper his dialogue with rhythmically intense profanity. Of course, the version on the FX channel needs to remedy all of the film's profanity to show it on their cable channel. Dubbing can really be annoying. I once saw "Hoffa" on an airplane and hearing the same wrong word constantly being substituted for "************" was like Chinese water torture, but MallRats is different.

This has to be the worst-dubbed version of an R-rated movie of all time. There are about fourteen characters in MallRats with significant amounts of dialogue and it being MallRats, all of them swear constantly, so all of those parts needed someone to voice new lines for nearly half of their dialogue. Now if this were Spike Lee trying to get a good clean version of "Do The Right Thing" together for PBS, you'd have a pretty good shot of Ossie Davis' lines being dubbed by Ossie Davis. For some reason, whoever made the dub of the version of MallRats, couldn't even get Jason Mewes to redo his lines. Please, if your project can't afford a couple days of Jason Mewes time, then my guess is that you're looking at a train wreck. I'm thinking he'd do it for a bag of weed or a couple of comic books!

Therefore almost every other line in this movie is a badly-dubbed voice that sounds nothing like Shannon Doherty, Ben Affleck, Joey Lauren Adams, or Jason Lee. It's like every single character in the movie has been taken over by the devil in the Exorcist.

Once you're tuned in to the goofy fun of the rampaging vocal tones, you can begin to try to listen to the dialogue. Instead of just substituting for the profane words, this edit tries to change entire phrases, which is really amusing because
1) The phrases they edit in are really badly written and...
2) They make entirely no sense in the larger terms of the film itself.

I've seen this television version twice now and I promise you that the time is well spent just by trying to figure out how they worked around the topless three nippled psychic scene alone! I promise you that sometime in the near future, when it's 2 AM, and you can't sleep, that you too will get to enjoy what I would have to describe as the laugh riot of the year!

Good god I love that quote.

That and Jay, "I'd do it myself, but I pulled my back out humpin your mom last night, neebj"

and then there was a picture of it on the schematic. God I love that movie. I wanna give you a stink shake.

My cousin Walter jerked of in public once, true story... they were all beating like mad.
Just wanted to show I know all the lines in the movie.

What, like in the back of a volkswagon?

keith, im not gonna lie, i didnt read all that

I did, and I'm kind of mad at myself. In fact, I just turned myself in to my boss and hope he takes away my internet priveleges. Actually, I'm in charge, but I wish for the other.

that's ok maybe i should have just referenced the three nippled fortune teller

Great movie, I've seen the entire movie probably twice, but I've seen the dating game part about 500.

Tell em' Steve Dave!