*GM Biatch steps up to the podium waving to the the millions and millions of fans, the fans start clapping with their free plastic clappers sponsored by Arby's, the fans are going absolutely beserk like a million twelve yr old girls at a Jonas Brothers concert, finally he steps up to the mic*

"Thank you, thank you. You are wonderful people. You are the reason, members of the Magically Delicious eat their green eggs and ham, eat their vitamins, drink their OJ, and put it all out on the ice. Without the fans, none of this would be possible. This team we'll be going a new direction. We no longer will be the dark and scary Scarborough Smugglers (crowd boooooooooos), we will now always have happy thoughts, listen to Disney Music, drinking vitamin water, supporting omega eggs, and wearing promise rings. This is a new direction, be ready for it AHL!!

First some changes. We have ridden ourselves of Maxim Afginininininiov, that little slut was sleeping around with Elena Dementivia (the tennis player), so we had to send him packing like the strawberries.

Paul Statsny also was getting too expensive and we can't have any diva's on our team, so we needed to rid ourselves of him to make room for the young and upcoming prospects from the Disney Channel.

We are excited for the free agent draft and also the entry draft as we hold 3 1st rounders, 2 2nd rounders, which include the #2, and #3 overall pick. We have also acquired more 1st rounders for later years. Below is the team.

We're extremely excited to have a core of Zack Boychuk, Nikita Filatov, Sam Gagner, Cody Hodgson, and David Krejc .

ACTIVE ROSTER

Pos First Last Team Signed 2008 2009-10 2010-11 2011-12 2012-13 2013-14
D SAMI LEPISTO WSH ml $0.25
D BRENDAN BELL OTT fa $0.25 $0.50 $0.50 $0.50 $0.50 $0.50
D PETER HARROLD LA fa $0.50 $0.50 -- -- -- --
D NIKLAS HJALMARSSON CHI fa $0.25 $0.50 -- -- -- --
D BRIAN RAFALSKI DET fa $1.00 $3.00 $3.75 $4.50 $5.50 $6.75
D KARLIS SKRASTINS FLA fa $0.25 $0.25 -- -- -- --

F RENE BOURQUE CGY fa $3.75 $5.00 $5.50 $6.25 $7.00 $7.75
F ZAC BOYCHUK CAR fa $0.50 $0.75 -- -- -- --
F BRIAN BOYLE NYR fa $0.50 $0.75 -- -- -- --
F RYAN CARTER ANA fa $0.25 $0.25 -- -- -- --
F NIGEL DAWES PHX fa $0.75 $0.75 -- -- -- --
F NIKITA FILATOV CBJ fa $0.50 $0.75 -- -- -- --
F SAM GAGNER EDM fa $2.00 $2.00 -- -- -- --
F MIKE GRIER SJ fa $0.25 $0.25 -- -- -- --
F CODY HODGSON VAN fa $0.50 $0.75 -- -- -- --
F DUSTIN JEFFREY PIT fa $0.50 $0.75 -- -- -- --
F DAVID KREJCI BOS fa $0.75 $1.75 $2.00 $2.25 $2.50 $2.75
F KAMIL KREPS FLA fa $0.25 $0.25 -- -- -- --
F MAXIM LAPIERRE MTL fa $0.25 $0.50 $0.50 $0.50 $0.50 $0.50
F FRANS NIELSEN NYI fa $0.25 $0.50 $0.50 $0.50 $0.50 $0.50
F JAY PANDOLFO NJ fa $0.50 $0.50 -- -- -- --
F JAKUB PETRUZALEK CAR fa $0.25 $0.50 -- -- -- --
F RYAN POTULNY EDM fa $0.25 $0.50 -- -- -- --
F TIM CONNOLLY BUF 2 $2.25 $2.25 $2.25 --- ---

G GOALIES-B PHOENIX PHX fa $0.25 $1.25 $1.50 $1.75 $2.00 $2.25
G GOALIES-B NASHVILLE NSH 4 $0.50 $0.50 $0.50 $0.50 $0.50 --

FARM TEAM

D JOONAS LEHTIVUORI PHI ml $1.00 --- --- --- ---
D BOB SANGUINETTI NYR ml $2.00 --- --- --- ---
D KEVIN SHATTENKIRK COL ml $2.00 --- --- --- ---
D VYACHESLAV VOINOV LA ml $2.00 --- --- --- ---

F ARTEM ANISIMOV NYR ml $1.50 --- --- --- ---
F JOE COLBORNE BOS ml $2.00 --- --- --- ---
F LARS ELLER STL ml $2.00 --- --- --- ---
F SIMON HJALMARSSON STL ml $1.00 --- --- --- ---
F DIMITRI KUGRYSHEV WSH ml $0.50 --- --- --- ---
F BRETT MACLEAN PHX ml $0.50 --- --- --- ---
F IGOR MIRNOV OTT ml $1.00 --- --- --- ---
F OSKAR OSALA WSH ml $1.50 --- --- --- ---
F RYAN STOA COL ml $0.25 --- --- --- ---
F COLIN WILSON JR ml $3.00 --- --- --- ---
Exempt List

F LADISLAV NAGY LA FA $5.00 --- --- --- ---

There's a whole lot of potential on that roster.

this team is in surprisingly good shape in a league this deep. biatch got an easy ride!

Biatch is making some crazy trades...Traded a very hot commodity in Paul Stastny, but got a shit load of picks and cash.

so why does the Phx B goalies rise a $1 in one year?

his team is truly stacked. Very good pro-ready prospects and some very nice upside on the farm too.

Mustangs world will not forget the treachery of the Magically Delicious GM.. 'Stangs world does not forgive, and does not forget..

lol loved that

Trades made by GM Biatch this season so far:

TRADE 1

The Ottawa Shortstackers receive:
Evgency Artukhin (TB) [farm] <forward>
Kyle Chipchura (MTL) [farm] <forward>
Janne Pesonen (PIT) [farm] <forward>
Stanislav Lascek (TB) [farm] <forward>

Magically Delicious receive
$0.75 cap in 10/11

Reasoning: The farm has a limit of 20, and we originally had 17 people on the farm, and 7 picks coming in, I had to release some guys. These four I was going to release anyways, so getting $0.75 for them was a bonus.

TRADE 2

Canadian Gothic Trades:
Canadian Gothic 1st rounder in 2010-11
Canadian Gothic 1st rounder in 2011-12
Canadian Gothic 2nd rounder in 2011-12
F-Artem Anisimov-NYR (farm)
$4 cap in 9/10
$3 cap in 10/11
$2 cap in 11/12


Magically Delicious Trades:
F-Paul Stastny-COL $4.00, $4.50, $5.00
D-Anton Strallman-CGY $0.75

Reasoning: This is the one trade I don't think I got enough and that I made a bit of a mistake. The main reason I made the trade is that I figure my team won't be able to compete until about two-three years from now. And that point Statsny I see as a pretty good player so his cap hit would be about $7.00 something, so I didn't really want to pay it and think it would be hard to trade. So I thought it might be better to trade it now while the cap his is low, his potential is high, and also to get picks to make me better two years from now. I also value the 10/11 draft very much, as the the 9/10 draft is a little depleted due to the juniors. Getting the picks were huge, and also we feel Anisimov will make a big impact this year in the NHL. The cap will help us with numerous future options.

TRADE 3

The Mustangs Receive:
Maxim Afinogenov $2.75 $2.75

Magically Delicious Receive:
$0.75 CASH in 10/11

Reasoning: Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? What about where in the world is Maxim Afinogenov? I know I didn't get much in cap, but the main thing is that I got $2.75 off the books for the next two years to help me out.

TRADE 4

Mustangs get:
Toronto Goalies

Magically Delicious Get:
0.25 in 2010/2011

Reasoning: I wasn't going to resign the Toronto goalies, so getting anything was good. I tried to start a bidding war between JP and Serge, by placing some adjectives in front of the the Toronto goalies, and adding the two in an msn conversation, but it failed miserably.


****************************************************

Picks look like this right now.

1st round pick 2009 (#2 overall)
1st round pick 2009 (#3 overall)
1st round pick 2009 (#14 overall)
2nd round pick 2009
2nd round pick 2009
3rd round pick 2009
3rd round pick 2009

1st round pick 2010
1st round pick 2010 (Gothic)
2nd round pick 2010
3rd round pick 2010
4th round pick 2010
5th round pick 2010

1st round pick 2011
1st round pick 2011 (Gothic)
1st round pick 2011 (Mustangs)
2nd round pick 2011
2nd round pick 2011 (Gothic)
3rd round pick 2011
4th round pick 2011
5th round pick 2011

Obviously the late round picks likely will be traded or moved. At the moment, we still have some decisions to make in regards to the farm players on the team as to if they are worth keeping or not.

Are you sure that Filatov and Hodgson salary is correct? That can't possibly be right, can it? Weren't both drafted as juniors???

I'm just going off what is on the contracts page, excel sheet, and website.

Daniel, Jesse used the loophole to take them both as free agents.

so, Im guessing at the 2007 UFA auction, he took Filatov and Hodgson at .25 at the end?

Has that been closed off? I see the rules for the entry draft, but it doesnt say anything in the UFA auction part about not being able to take someone like Hall for instance.

ENTRY DRAFT

This draft is held each year prior to the free agent draft. Only players who have previously been drafted and have fewer than 10 games of NHL experience who has not been a member of any other Alternative League Hockey team qualify to be drafted. The order of the draft will be in reverse order of the previous year's standings. Each draft will consist of four rounds, with all non playoff teams selecting first. Players acquired in this draft will not be considered part of your roster, Rather they will be in your farm system and will not receive a salary until called up. You may call up a player at any time. However, once he has been called up, he cannot be sent back down. The only exception to this rule is during spring call ups. At the time of the free agent draft, your minor league roster cannot exceed 20 players. Prior to and afterwards, you may have as many minor leaguers as you wish.



FREE-AGENT DRAFT

The free agent draft is held annually. Here you bid on players not currently under contract with another team. The player will be auctioned off to the highest bidder. Bids must be in increments of $ 0.25.The final bid on the player will be his salary for the upcoming season. Each owner in turn nominates a player, bidding on each player will continue clockwise with each owner either raising the bid or dropping out. When only one owner remains, that player is awarded to him. In the event that an owner does not attend the free agent draft, no other owner in the pool may draft for him. He may however send a representative to the draft. If he does not attend he must fill his roster within 24 hours of the draft. The draft will start promptly at the scheduled time whether you are there or not!

Even if the wording of the rules doesn't say it that loophole was for sure closed before our last draft.

In order for a player to be drafted in the free agent draft they have to have been drafted or signed by an NHL team now.

So what the heck are they doing on his roster? That's a pretty significant error I'd say lol. The wording in the rules, as Bob pointed out is just wrong. A player can only be picked up if he is on an NHL roster. For example, you could not pick up Mario Lemieux right now. So I guess it's legit after all... glad we closed that loophole! This team is going to be scary in a few years.

The rule was addressed in the pick up section but not the FA section:

Pick ups can be made at any time. In order to pick up a player, you must first create a spot on your roster, either by trading, releasing or by placing a player on your reserve list. After a pickup, your roster must be full and may not exceed the limit. Failure to do so will result in your roster moves being void and the chosen player going back into the unclaimed pool. A player must be on an NHL team's active roster in order to be picked up. Any pick ups made after 6 p.m. will be considered to be a transaction of the following day. Therefore a player picked up after 6 p.m. cannot be used in that evening's lineup. Any player dropped will not be available to be picked up for a period of 7 days. Pick ups can be made at any time and are on a first come first served basis. For roster moves and transactions, please check the website.

The pick up rule has always been that way where they have to be on an active roster.

What Jesse did was make sure he was the last person still needing players and then started drafting 16 year olds who were highly rated and nobody could outbid him. When he did it it was allowed and in fact Darrell was the first person I think to do it. It was obviously a problem and was stopped before last year's draft.

Thanks for the clarification. Im guess Im onto Plan B.


AHL Stratedgy

PLAN A. Wait until everyone else is out of money, and then bid $.25 on T.Hall, K.Kabanov, M.Granlund.
PLAN B. Take Wayne Primeau+Colton Orr, and hope Serge is drunk enough to trade me Gerbe right after the auction.

Swackers Get:
Rene Bourque $5.00 ($5.50, $6.25, $7.00, $7.75)
Brian Rafalski $3.00 ($3.75, $4.50, $5.50, $6.75)
Phoenix Goalies $1.25 ($1.50, $1.75, $2.00, $2.25)
Igor Mirnov (farm) (OTT)
Simon Hjalmarsson (farm) (STL)
Dmitri Kugryshev (farm) (WAS)
$4 CASH in 2009/10
$4 CASH in 2010/11


Magically Delicious Get:
Kris Versteeg $0.75 ($0.75, $0.75, $0.75, $0.75)
NYI Goalies $1.50
2nd round pick 2010
4th round pick 2010
1st round pick 2011
$2 in CASH 2011/12
$2 in CASH 2012/2013

Reasoning: The farm players in the deal are irrelevant as I was going to have to release them anyways for my draft picks are I'm going to be near the limit of 20 with my draft picks. I don't think any of them are going to make a substantial difference in the NHL. Rene Bourque I would have signed just based on the free agents available, but long term wise he didn't make much sense to keep with me. As I wouldn't be able to afford him more then 3 yrs. As his contract would be too large. Rafalski I could afford more then 3 yrs, but I don't know if he has 3 more years left in the NHL. He's a top 10 D, and I wanted to trade him at his top value. I had some offers for multiple picks in 2009 for Rafalski, but I like this offer better as I get Versteeg, who I can sign for the next five yrs at $0.75, which I think is a huge steal. Versteeg especially is a huge asset in a league as 20 deep as this. He also had chemistry with Toews and Kane near the end of the year, so this could be the start of something special.

Goaltending was just put in there, I don't intend on signing NYI goaltending.

Also, the cash wasn't too valuable to me as my team sucks. But getting cash in those future years helps me, when I maybe intend to make a run for it. We'll see, lol.

Hip hip Hooooooray!!!

gotta say, i dont like this deal much for you at all biatch. hjalmarsson and kugryshev are both good prospects who are likely to feature in top 6s in the nhl within a few years. i would have thought you could have pushed that angle and got a lot more of a return for them and rafalski

I don't know about that. The might make the NHL, but I don't think either are going to be huge fantasy prospects.

I also have some tough decisions to make in regards to who to sign as my free agents.

Magically Delicious receive:
Tyler Ennis (farm) $1.00

Screaming Eagles receive:
$5 CASH 9/10
$5 CASH 10/11

The deal works well for both teams, he gets the cap space to use on his guys to make a run at it this year and next, and for me, I get a good prospect. There is literally like no FA at the draft, so this pretty much was a no brainer as I have no big cap players, and since the FA draft is so dry, it just made sense to overspend on cap space I won't use, for arguably the best prospect in the Sabres organization right now. He is a little under-sized but we have a feeling, he will be something special.

Wow $10 for a prospect.

This is a major reversal for you. When I took him in the FCHL draft you thought he was overrated.



But what a prospect!

LOL, I thought you would like the prospect Adam.

The prospects I traded in the other deal, I was going to basically release anyways because I have an influx of 1st rounders this year to get the likes of Kane, Schroder, Schenn, Kadri, and others, so it makes a lot more sense to make room for those guys .

Not to give anything away, but what prospects are available to you in this year's draft? 2nd and 3rd overall - do you expect to get 2 of the above, or are there more available?

I expect to get 2 of the above. Lots of names already gone, Duchene Tavares, GSP

PIM's must be at a premium in the AHL.

i still think he is overrated because i see a lot of people on dibbler touting him as the next AO, but i do think he has 50-60 point potential which in the ahl is huge!

What is dibbler?

I think it's that ice cream that's just hundreds of little dots.

Dibbler is the common name for Parantechinus apicalis, an endangered species of marsupial. It is an inhabitant of the southwest mainland of Western Australia and some offshore islands. A member of the Dasyuromorphia order, it is small, carnivorous, nocturnal, with speckled fur that is white around the eyes.

Dibbler on Wiki



Kidding, kidding. They're actually talking about this great hockey website, but dont want to give it away. Its awesome, Ive been on there every day since they started. The guy who runs it is a genious.
check it out.....

Dibbler

Dammit Arp! Now everyone will know all our secrets!

(e1)

like me! now I have some reading to do.

Trade by the Magically Delicious

To Ingmen:
Tim Connolly (BUF) $2.25 $2.25

To Magically Delicious:
1st rounder 2009 (Ingmen)
4th rounder 2009 (Ingmen)
1st rounder 2010 (Ingmen)

I would like to offer this as Exhibit A on why the FCHL should never expand above 15 teams.

And that we should test owners for drugs?

I'm on Roids. I would be banned.

Already Signed
Nashville 4 yrs @ $0.50, $0.50 $0.50, $0.50

Defence Free Agent Signings
Brendan Bell (STL) 1 yr $0.50
Peter Harrold (LA) 1 yr $0.50

Forward Free Agent Signings
Sam Gagner (EDM) 1 yr $2.00
David Krejci (BOS) 5 yrs $1.75, $2.00, $2.25, $2.50, $2.75
Kris Versteeg (CHI) 5 yrs $0.75, $0.75, $0.75 $0.75, $0.75
Nikita Filatov (CBJ) 1 yr $0.75
Cody Hodgson (VAN) 1 yr $0.75
Zack Boychuk (CAR) 1 yr $0.75
Brian Boyle (NYR) 1 yr $0.75
Nigel Dawes (CGY) 1 yr $0.75
Dustin Jeffrey (PIT) 1 yr $0.75
Frans Nielsen (NYI) 1 yr $0.50
Maxim Lapierre (MTL) 1 yr $0.50
Ryan Potulny (EDM) 1 yr $0.50
Kamil Kreps (FLA) 1 yr $0.25


16 Players Signed for 2009/2010

Goalies Released
New York Islanders

Defencemen Released
Karlis Skrastins (FLA)

Forwards Released
Ryan Carter (ANA)
Mike Grier (BUF)
Jakub Petrazulek (CAR)
Jay Pandolfo (NJ)

Note: 26 players to be signed including 3 goalies. The reason some guys only signed 1 yr is because I can only sign them 1 yr.

To Ingmen
Shortstackers 2nd round pick 2009
PKDealers 3rd round pick 2009

To Magically Delicious
Ingmen 2nd round pick 2010
Ingmen 3rd round pick 2010

Reasoning: I had 9 picks originally, and 14 guys on my farm. The limit is 20. There was pretty much no use in having that many picks, because I would have to drop people on my farm. Right now the farm looks like this:

D JOONAS LEHTIVUORI PHI ml $1.00 --- --- --- ---
D SAMI LEPISTO WSH ml $0.25
D BOB SANGUINETTI NYR ml $2.00 --- --- --- ---
D KEVIN SHATTENKIRK COL ml $2.00 --- --- --- ---
D VYACHESLAV VOINOV LA ml $2.00 --- --- --- ---

F JOE COLBORNE BOS ml $2.00 --- --- --- ---
F LARS ELLER STL ml $2.00 --- --- --- ---
F SIMON HJALMARSSON STL ml $1.00 --- --- --- ---
F BRETT MACLEAN PHX ml $0.50 --- --- --- ---
F OSKAR OSALA WSH ml $1.50 --- --- --- ---
F RYAN STOA COL ml $0.25 --- --- --- ---
F COLIN WILSON JR ml $3.00 --- --- --- ---
F ARTEM ANISIMOV NYR ml $1.50 --- --- --- ---
F TYLER ENNIS BUF ml $1.00 --- --- --- ---

The farm system right now for the Magically Delicious is pretty average, but we feel after the draft with 4 1st rounders, we can really benefit and improve it a vast amount. Depth wise for the draft, we also felt the 2010/2011 draft will have a little more depth as well as less juniors will be taken out of it, so we felt it made sense to grab some picks there.

This is possibly one of the worst teams an AHL team has EVER produced. There wont be enough players to ice a lineup on a regular night. While i understand the Biatch's plans, this team has no chance to win more than a handful of games. It will be a disaster every night.

I would like to see a rule in place that a team cant do what the Biatch did...Its just not competitive enough to have a chance against any team on any given night..

Over under on the amount of wins.....10

he still has to add 10 guys and all these guys should have decent seasons:

Sam Gagner (EDM) 1 yr $2.00
David Krejci (BOS) 5 yrs $1.75, $2.00, $2.25, $2.50, $2.75
Kris Versteeg (CHI) 5 yrs $0.75, $0.75, $0.75 $0.75, $0.75
Nikita Filatov (CBJ) 1 yr $0.75
Cody Hodgson (VAN) 1 yr $0.75
Zack Boychuk (CAR) 1 yr $0.75

i dont think his team will do that badly, i've seen some of the other teams and they are worse than this

The 10 guys that he will add wont be significant. I like to know what he is going to do with with the money he has left over....

Biatch under 10.5 wins..

Need to ice 6 forwards and 4 dman..

He has no one..

Ill book action if you guys like...If Biatch is willing to bet, ill give him better juice.

Bad team , very bad team..

The lack of response by the owner of the Delicious shows how scared the Biatch is...


We demand a response.

LOL Subway Sandwich Challange. We will cover

The owner of the asdfjkl; was on the radio this morning in Ottawa on Live 885 and had this to say on the morning show....

"Dear beloved fans spanning across all seven continents, thank you for listening in to this morning. This magically journey has begun, and it will be quite some time before we get to the top of the mountain to that enchanted forest, but in the mean time, we are prepping this morning for some valuable pieces to pick up later this week, which hopefully can be turned into long term assets for us.

This morning, I have had a starbucks venti tzao chai latte with no foam and soy milk, we paired it with a greek feta and spinach breakfast sandwich. It has helped me become a better GM for you the people, we have numerous free agents we are targeting, which we believe will make us younger, more affordable, and set us up to compete in the future. We're also looking to upgrade our goalie situation. The main concern obviously though is our blue line, as we want to get tougher and stronger to help mentor our young guns.

We also have four first round picks, and expect to make a big splash this year by drafting at least 3 90 point guys as they are plentiful this year. All the AHL will be watching as the Delicious get even more Magically Delicious. Thank you, but I have to get back, as I have a book signing this morning."

o rly?

This just in from the Toronto Paparazzi.....


Reporter: We just saw Lord Biatch of the Magically Delicious walk into his hotel room with a newspaper, a Hockey News Magazine (which will be his secret weapon this year, as no other GM's have the power of this magazine), a continental breakfast, and a coffee. Lord Biatch was frustrated and irate that the breakfast did not include eggs and bacon, but instead was filled with bagels and muffins. Inside the room we heard some loud snoring, not sure what it was, but we will investigate. Stay tuned...

Reporter: Biatch is coming out for an interview.

(Lord Biatch walks out to the millions and millions of paparazzi. The Jonas Brothers are next door and jealous they don't have as much paparazzi as the Biatch does)

Reporter: Hey Biatch

Biatch: Sup?

Reporter: What was that magazine you were holding?

Biatch: It's the Hockey News Fantasy Guide for 2009/2010. It cost me 8 bucks, but now I have a huge advantage over the rest of the league. I know the surefire 100 point guys, the sleepers, the late round gems, the bust picks, I know everything. It's like they are going into a fight with a water gun and I'm going into the fight with Bush, Al-Qaeda, the Ji-Had, that Korean dude, and then NASA just as an insurance policy. Long story short, it's not even fair that I have this amount of knowledge.

Reporter: Who are you taking with pick #2 and pick #3?

Biatch: Well we have a list of 42 guys, we are trying to shorten it down. But we seem them all as equal, so it's going to be tough.

Reporter: Who are you targetting at the FA Draft?

Biatch: We're going to try to hit the owner of the Mustangs with a sandwich while he isn't looking since he bad mouthed the Delicious, but we'll see. I have to go though. We'll see you soon.

I personally think you had a pretty good draft. Never realize all the high picks you had.