Now what? It was a guy from work, to, and he was really into it.

Somebody hold me.

Were you pitching or catching?

I had a dream that I believed in angels.

Did god smite you yet?

Pitching.

Nope, but I haven't left the house, either. What if people can like smell it or something?

Like, my gay buddy, when I see him later, will he intuitively know? I'm scared.

Then it's cool, because you weren't the bitch in the relationship. Did you have a woody and whack it when you woke up?


PS: We're going to pitch in and get you a Jeff Stryker dildo for your birthday. Sound good?

This will be your first test. If he starts getting a little closer than normal and all touchy feely...he knows. It's all over.

You might want to get yourself checked out first with a Gaydar Detector.

Obligatory post.

So was your bed wet when you woke up?

Lois is a guy? I thought he was some stuck up bitch.

Yes and yes.

Sorry Frank, but that right there is some funni shit!

April Fools?

This is really the whole question. If you came you're gay, if you didn't you're not. It's true, ask science.

This made me smile.

Alright, let's cover some ground. No, my bed was not wet, no I did not wake up and whack it. (At least not immediately.)

Now, my wife did give me an odd look when I told her I was going to start a thread about it, but she often doesn't get my willingness to lay it all out there.

Let's give some details- it was basically an all out fat-ass orgy, right, with various women from my past, to the left and right, front and yes, the back as well. Bodies writhing, strewn all about a bed that was clearly borrowed from Shaq. Then, all of the sudden the women are all to the side, I'm on my knees and there is.... Tom. Wtf? I let him do his thing for a second or two, and then thought in my dream,"I don't get this, Tom is a guy, and I'm not gay. What the hell is going on, and what's with all the teeth, he is really bad at this.." and then I woke up, startled, confused, ashamed.

April Fools? I wish.

Bitch, too often, stuck up? Never.

its completely normal.


if you're gay.

Big Bob: You boys ready for your cockmeat sandwich?
Harold Lee: Uh, no.
Big Bob: Well you better get hungry real fast... because I've got a whole lotta sandwich waiting for you!

Kumar Patel: Are all the guards in Guantanamo Bay gay?
Big Bob: Fuck no! There ain't nothing gay about getting your dick sucked! You're the ones that're gay for sucking my dick!
Kumar Patel: What?
Big Bob: In fact, it creeps me out just being around you fags! Alright, get down on your knees and open your mouths.
Harold Lee: Why don't you kick our asses instead?
Big Bob: GET ON YOUR FUCKING KNEES!

Would you rather **** a dude, or **** your mom?

g
gay
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
gg
gg

Dear FCP Forum,

I never thought I'd be writing to you about my experience, but something happened the other day that I just had to share......

Did you leave a tip?

Dude by far. That's not gay, that's just good sense.

Well, I didn't leave it for long.

Pray

Pray Hard

I see what you did there.

its not a dream, if you believe it

i mean...you can get a good look at a dream by sticking your head up you butchers ass

no wait, but its gotta be YOUR bull...

I dont think your helping him bringing up the butchers ass.

From what I've observed over the years, this seems to be a common fantasy among right wing bible thumping TV preachers and conservative Republican politicians. So which one are you LMD?

How exactly did you observe this? I wanna share the fun and look for some of those peepz to observe...

You never cease to amaze me.

Lol, I'll never share my secret camera locations. They're MINE, MINE I tell you.

if you're a gay dream believer, i think this one makes you the homecoming queen.

This douche has openly admitted that he might be gay, and he's still not banned yet?? What the F has this board come to??

oh, wake up, sleepy tomato.

I think everyone has had a same sex dream at least once (but I know very few people admit it.) Anyway, I am an avid dreamer and I love to look up what my dreams mean.


From Dreammoods.com:

Bisexual

If you are not bisexual and dream that you are, then it may indicate some sexual repression. You may be trying to compensate for your lack of sexual expression. Alternatively, it may represent general sexual confusion

Homosexual

To dream that you are homosexual (but you are not in your waking life), represents a union with aspects of yourself. It is symbolic of self-love, self-acceptance, and compassion. If you are uncomfortable with homosexuality in your dream, then it suggests some fears or anxieties about your masculinity (if you are male) and femininity (if you are female). You may be experiencing some insecurity in your relations with the opposite sex.

To dream that the guy you like in real life is gay, represents your anxieties and fears that he won't like you back. If he was gay, then it would be easier to dismiss your feelings for him. And it would be easier for you to say that you have no chance with him.

On a side note, it is common for expectant fathers to have dreams of homosexual encounters.

If you are homosexual in your waking life, then the dream is simply a reflection of your own self.

This is one of my fav threads. I have read it to at least 5 of my gay customers and they all laughed.

They said the hold me line off the bat is hilarious.

I had a dream like 10 years ago that I was in a whorehouse getting a bj from a hooker and during the process it revealed it was a tranny with a big penis. The weird thing is I let it continue for like 5 seconds before I bolted. Weird.

around here, we don't call it 'bolting', we stick with more common expressions like 'cum' 'blow' 'shoot' 'b-bomb'

I'm waiting for the next topic...

"I sucked my first penis"

I give it another week before this occurs.

A friend of mine recently revealed to me that he was gay. At first I was surprised and concerned for my anus. Then I realised that his sexual orientation doesnt mean shit to me cause im not the one who's gonna be f.ucking him.

Come on guys, its 2009. Who gives a s.hit about this besides a couple of homophobes? I say, if you want to bat for that team, etc. there's nothing really I see that is wrong with it.

no.

Actually, this is really insightful. I have been going through a time of self-unification if you will.

Thanks for posting that, I appreciate that.



Now, for the next weird dream that makes no damn sense at all. I am living at a house I had when I was a kid, and storms are a brewing. My wife and I are standing in the backyard and I look up Bill Paxton style and say "We need to go inside." We go inside and I grab two flashlights,and we are holding them facing the sliding glass door and my daughter is standing near the door as a gaggle of twisters bit the backyard, one of them carrying an elephant, who barges towards the house and I tell my daugher, "Stephanie, hurry, run to me", with my arms outstretched. Just as she heads towards me the elephant crashes through the backdoor and it bursts into flame, and the fireball envelops her as she leaps towards me, and when she hits my arms she turns into a kitty cat. I digested this for a second and then woke up.


Wtf?

Liar. One time I dreamt I made out with my brother and cottage cheese came out of his mouth. True story.


Now, your turn. Go.