I've been getting a lot of strange messages recently, so I thought I'd post them here and you guys could give your opinions on how high you think the sender is.

Note: Sender will always be female, some hotter than others. The not-so-hot ones will make up for looks with being absolutely skanky.


Tonight's message comes from my stripper friend Candy (real name), who works at a really low-rent strip club off Hollywood Blvd.

The text message sent at 2:24am reads: have you ever noticed that the letters FTW are the same as WTF? weird

There was no other communication between us tonight, or even in the last week.

So, my dear friends, how high was she?

Picture of Candy included for reference.



Fun Fact: She once stopped giving a guy head and slapped herself with his penis as I watched.

i think you're supposed to record stuff like this to show el guapo when you get together.

high guesstimate: 2.5/10. just buzzed enough to be free associating.

I this game.

i win

So, what's it like to pound her from behind with those eyes staring back at you ? Very creative stamp !

High rating 4/10

she has man hands

So, how big was the guys dick?

she was moderately high.

You don't say?

And she was just pretty high.

8/10. On poly substances, not just one.

are we sure it's a she? I mean, this is IQ. Might be a shehe.

That would be in keeping with the strip club's low rent, off broadway status, and also why he didn't show her face, but just her eyes and dumper.

If there was any penile activity going on with this girl, it was before my time. I can personally attest to a vagina.

Not even a hot hermaphroditic penis/vag combo, or maybe a Chyna-style super clitoris? This is heart breaking, really.

Since you guys seem to be infatuated with shemales tonight, thought I'd share one with you.

Meet Jacklyn.

After:







And just to keep it real, the Before, from summer 2007...

Now that's what I'm TALKIN' About!

I'd seriously rather do the shemale than the fat chick.

Even if she were skinny and moderately attractive those eyes on her lower back would freak me the **** out. It's like being watched when you try to slip one in from behind. Sketchy.

Would this be creepier than the ballsack penduluming back and slapping you in the thigh during?

that shit ain't fair.

Thigh? Try forehead. Mushroom stamp from a chick.

whats up with that stupid tattoo? does she want to watch herself take a shit or something?

tramp stamps are -ev.

- wife ev, maybe, but just what I'm looking for in a stripper with benefits.

One more tranny before I hit the sack.

Meet Mer:







I have no Before pictures, but in case you had any doubts you're about to fap it to a shemale:



And since they always travel in packs, both our tranny's together. On a hog.

high on 'Da Chronic'.

5/10

indica. maybe a nice blue berry or OG kush.

so basically all this thread does is prove that I will never go to california since apparently if I did I'd probably end up fucking a dude.

WHOA! don't make me a foregone conclusion. it's demeaning.

I'm just sayin:

i am without speech on this one. i'd have to hear it from her doctor to believe it.

5/10?

Mer's got a bit of an adam's apple, so I can believe it. Seems a bit trashier too. are these ladies involved in the sex industry, and if so, how much?

You think that's bad? All this thread does is prove that I'm not good enough even for chicks that used to be dudes.

well I mean come on, you've seen my picture right? I'M POSITIVELY STUNNING.


son of a bitch, I didn't even think about that.

Well considering Navy and I are out here, there would probably be some alcohol involved. I think that would be a foregone conclusion.

well done, sir.

i would totally do either both those shemales.

Jumbo's Clown Room?

Allright! This thread is really starting to take off.


I don't like having to rely on the CP83 scammed me thread because it's in General.

...then you're gay.

I disagree. If it looks like a woman, and has a vagina like a woman, who am I to ask questions.

I mean really? this is the same person? I feel like I'm taking crazy/gay pills. what kind of guy makes that hot of a chick? ridiculous. completely ridiculous. can you believe these characters? way out of line. way out of line.

if fuking the girl in my sig is gay, I don't want to be straight.

frankly, i dont belive it. not for that one.

look at the tribal ear piercings.

The Mac/Carmen episodes make much more sense now.

look at the shape of the lobe. the amount of surgery required to go from that to that is staggering. besides the sex reassignment surgery, you are looking at a total facial reconstruction. ears, nose, lips, chin. if it is real, that surgeon is fucking Michaelangelo.

actually, tribal piercings like that will close, albeit slowly. Her piercing is still of a large gauge, if you look close. But the other surgery is fantastic.

Except in that one she still had Captain Winky.




I wont commit to anything unless I can penetrate her. They say you can tell; something about a shallow vaginal cavity.

Anatomy 101

and if it looks like a woman, and has a cock like a dude, i save a lot of money on blindfolds.