because i'm at the "i dont give a fuuuuh" stage, I really just hit on every girl i see now.. its alll pink on the inside right?


anyways, today at Noon. i get a text message saying some random shhiz signed Jessica.. .so i text back. uhh. what?

then she texts, "did you pay the phone bill yet?"

so i text back. I dont know you.. wtf are u talking about..

so then she replies with "oh sorry, wrong person"

so i take it up a notch and reply with "No worries... are you siingle?"


she answers "why?"


lol... the fact she answered is Go for me...

so i say "No reason, just bored at work... I'm from etc etc.."

she replies back, shes 23 and from the same area...works in advertising.

now I'm were at the "facebook" stage. so once i find out if shes decent or what i'll post pics. lol. could be hilarious if I sleep with a girl who texted the wrong number

LMAO!

This latest girlfriend episode has gotten you more horny/desperate/whatever than normal it seems. It's pretty much all you've talked about since you got back.

That's cool though. I'd never be able to do that.




So yeah... Waiting on pics.

generally I find that you are lame potatoes, but this story is interesting. keep me updated, thanks.

There is a 73% chance you will marry this girl.

its your ex girlfriend fucking with you.

lol...uh...Do work, son!

ya, thats because you have never met me..

i keep a lame potato edge online.

but i thhink kthere are a few epic threads from back in the day of mine... kurt remembers i'm sure

Creepy. Though the extra 'i' in 'siingle' makes it creepy to the point of coolness when spoken out loud.

Hey baby...are you siiiiiingle?



:schrute

Soooooooooo....did she cum or what?

RT's way better than that, sir. At least several lame vegetables combined, possibly a canned fruit, as well.

ha! thought you'd like that.

if creepy is cool, consider me Miles Davis

Canned fruit, not sure.

Closet fruit, almost definitely.

Wow you seem to be on quite the tear lately.

Can I have your leftovers?

Leftover bearded clam....EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.....

It's Naismith.

I'm still not 100% convinced that the type of girl that can be picked up through an anonymous text message is going to be A-material. But I'm sure this thread will be entertaining.

Oh really? I bet you could.

JESUS CHRIST MAN, THERE'S SOME THINGS YOU JUST DON'T TALK ABOUT ON A MESSAGE BOARD.

Dude, are you gay?

Who needs A material girls when you've just been dumped? I barely required that they be female, conscious and or living when I was rebounding.

We all know you like them passed out and transsexual, you don't have to say it over and over.

If no contact, in a day or so text her, "did you pay the phone bill yet?"

FYP



and yes Timmy, if they're drugged, it's easier to clean up the DNA evidence afterwards

Update.

She added me to facebook,

... *ahem...cough...


anyhow... i could get my black belt for the first time.. and she has hot friends.. or.. well. i saw 1 semi attractive girl.


once you go black you never...?

meh.. I dont care, i'll eat the shiit.

good luck getting a beej from a black chick. There are some exceptions, but from my 4 black girls of experience, a couple of em did it, but it was like I had to pretend that my dick was the welfare building and my semen was the check.

Ok, that was tasteless. I'm really sorry.

lol! nice... i know i know.. whats the deal with that anyways? I girls who always say that black dudes never go down on girls either.

god damn it.. they must know something we dont? or maybe they dont know something we do?? either way..

friday is pogey day! so i'l be handing out checks all night.. lets see if Shaniqua (i mean jessica) is game.

A racial plot twist? It's like Spike Lee meets M. Night Shamalan.

God... this is sooo many tier levels down now..

ugh.. i'm thinking with enough Gin and Tonics, and maybe i sprinkle some collard greens on my diick she'll go down on me.. haayyooo..

ok thats mean.

but seriously. i dont think i can get hard unless she does go downtown

this is the funniest shit ever. Just let her touch your penis it happens. close your eyes!

what is this, 2005?

At least you'll meet your racial quota of women:

White: 500
Slightly Tan: 501
Tanner: 502
Olive: 503
Black: 1

Fuck her. Fuck her brains out. Suck her tits, squeeze her buns, you know she wants it.

Never had a black girl either.

Post the pics anyway though, and her friends.

I like black chicks who are in great shape but have enormous asses.

I misdialed my pot guy last year, and after talking to the guy realized that he, too, sold pot.

True story.

Thank you everyone for not making any cracks about her being black and needing her phone bill paid. It would have been in poor taste.

It's not tasteless if you eat lots of grapefruit. The check "could be sweet....?"


Anyway, good work Royal.

no it wasn't, your semen is chock full of flavour.


edit: dammit petoria, don't you have some math problems to solve?

dude, i'm still wondering about this 'once you go black....' does it also apply to the women?? i thought it was just for the dudes.

and tell me who this chic is on facebook. would like to check her out.

Is this the equivalent of half-a-schrute buck?

no, you dont want too.. its not worth it.

You know what they say, the older the berry the sweeter the juice.

yeah the early bird gathers no moss

I also just got a text saying ...hey it's Nyomi!!! how are you?

so i text back ,,ummm im good who is this?

She texts back and said she met a few weeks ago with a bunch of friends at a place called fun factor.

I said i havn't been there in years , are you sure?

She texts back saying yes you prob don't remember you were pretty drunk.

So i say well, do you have msn , facebook ect...( so i can see if she's hot )

She texts back and gives me her facebook.

So i look her up. AND OMGGGGGGGGGG

Fattest chick ever. Yes she is from my town and is the same age as me.

How did she even get my number?? i know for a fact that a few weeks ago i didn't even go near " fun factor " which is a gaming place because it's on the other side of the city where i live.

too bad she's fat and ugly ....................damn i run bad

But lol like wtf, how did you even get my number?

Do work, son. Fatties will put ANYTHING in their mouth

looool

Yes but it's not an enjoyable experience. Too much teeth.

Jungle fever FTW.


TTIWWP, fyi.



Give her the Royal Tour.


gl

They swallow because they're HUNGRY.

I hear fat chicks give great head ?

hahahahahaha awsome

ok...now im curious





is this anything like "the chrozzo"??