I was at work, and while there I sometimes clean cars, for renting and what not. Well, our summer intern, a 20 year old guy, pretty shy, asks me if the Fusion he asked me to clean is ready.

"The Fusion clean?"

"As a virgins honey potter."

"What? Im not a virgin."

"What?"

"I've had sex, man. More than once."

"Oh yeah?"

"OH yeah."

"What was his name?"


True story.

Interns tell you what to do?

Yup. Im just part time help.

Still in school you know.

Wait... you wash cars at a car rental place?

Yes.

Pick Enterprise, We'll Pick You Up!

Edit: I'm stupid.

typical red sox fan, obviously.

I just got in from tanning. nicely bronzed.

queerbag.

carrot.

good game tonight!



BWAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!

standard

idk why (maybe cuz its funny) but this story really made me lol

i think other suitable remarks are....



"it doesnt really count as more then once when its the same guy"




or the ever popular.....




"ur mother must be a really wonderful women" are both practical/yet diverse standby's in similar future encounters FWIW


use sparingly and feel free to improvise, as you are still young to the path,but clearly well on ur way

you have poor grammatical skills.

i see what you did there

Most likely because you have a low brow sense of humor where 'faggots' feel the brunt of your wit.

Fart jokes likely amuse you as well.

first off yonyonson,u tell me, do u feel the brunt of my wit?

you really think ur coming off sounding witty?

or are u purposefully coming off as an arrogant douche,trying to perfect ur pseudo intellectual internet persona on me.since uve seen my grammar taken to task in this thread and i took it quietly,and since my post count is smaller then yours i must have seemed a good target for u to practice ur verbal sparring, in preparation for the great poster u will one day become?

save the cutting of people down to those who actually know what they are doing,or atleast make sure u have found a mark that is not going to mentally crush u anywhere u wanna take it

jus cuz i go out of my way to type as fast as possible,and refuse to break the habit of typing "like a 14 year old girl on her razor"
doesnt mean a thing.....man ur reads are bad

do u even play poker?

since i dont want to make this a HU4ROLLZ thread

pm me if u do play,and we'll set something up and see if i jus cant show u what really amuses me.

heres a hint,felting pompous self righteous arrogant douches such as urself ranks highly on that last

i was joking man.

please dont ever talk at me like that again.

i just shit my pants. LITERALLY.


On an unrelated note, I would bluff you off two pair with nothing but jack high.

Listen dipsht, I know you're new around here, and think that since this is a poker forum, you're going to impress people with your hu4rollz challenges, but you need to get something straight, right away. We settle beefs 2 ways around these parts, pardner. We either have a free style rap battle, or we drift for pinks. Anything else is for pussies, faggots and freddy deeb wannabes.




On a related note, I'm calling Bullsh@t on your story, suited. Who the fck ever heard of an intern at a rental car agency?

glad we got that squared away then

Hug it out bish?

oh and it better be a 4 flush/straight board,then u probably could make me find a fold

Im glad someone called me on it. This lie was tearing me apart.

Funny thing is, we do have interns. But I made the conversation up.

And our current intern is a hot ass bitch. LITERALLY. She has a hot ass and is a bitch. And she's already been finger banged by at least two guys in the office. Neither of who are me. I mean I'd still do it, but she's out of my league. Im not above a roofie.

See, now you dont know whats true.

Thats my game.



1. I dont want you drawing wood.

2. And no, there'd be no 4 flush or straight draws on the board. I'd win the pot with nothing but zip and pip. And balls the size of grapefruit.

who are u calling dips**t?

im really trying to impress people LOL

if i wanted to do that i would have been issuing rap battle challenges weeks ago

Why in the fck do you have interns? What kind of 4th rate community college do they go to that they need to spend the summer learning how to rent out cars?

You, obv.

cheap labor and people without connections of any sort think it will look good on a resume.

but two of four that i have seen were smoking hot, so im okay with the current state of the intern program at enterprise.

1. i dont draw to wood, unless im getting the right price

2. only time will tell us about that

ok thats it my buddy,im about to get into my b boy stance

yeah, maybe to a rental car agency. LOL, I can just see a head hunter from Anderson Consulting looking at the "Avis Rental internship" and saying "oh, what division were you interning with in Jersey? Marketing"


"Oh, um.. no, it wasn't at national.. it was at Kansas City International..."

"oh.. um * snicker* oh really? * holds the resume over his face to block his smiling face* could you give me a.. .second? * steps out into the hallway to burst out in laughter, then, composing himself, holding the door open* yeah, thanks for stopping by to day, I'll give you a call if you made it to the.. *snicker* the next round of interviews.."

I guess I better hurry up and give you the microphone, before you bust in your pants.

that was the worst freestyle ive ever heard

Its actually not even the airport location. they dont take interns. we're a neighborhood outfit. only 1/5 the cars of the airport.

2 late

I'm really more of a drifter.

LOL worst internship ever. This is a lesson for you, young yonson... When your time comes, don't do an internship people will openly mock.

All this talk about work has reminded me about a 100% TRUE CONVERSATION I DID HAVE.

IT was actually a text message. This girl that I work with, she wants my nuts, hard, sent me a text message that said.

"what is saint peter the saint of?"

"stupid questions."

"dont be cruel"

"BOBBY BROWN!"

"What?"

"nevermind."

FYT

lol,i guess weve successfully diffused the situation (for now),sparing one another/and the rest of OT, what was to have surely been a clash of monumental proportions

keep the drift alive

damn, that would have been good.

and im out.

peace bitches.

fuck you, farve, i hope you die.

thats one of the funnier FY's in recent memory

NH sir

So, I went to wikipedia, to check out the bobby brown entry, and found out this gem..


Which makes me really want to watch CMT for more than 2 minutes for the first time ever.

country is just another word for hood these days,just the uniform requirements are a bit different

cant see it being to far a stretch for Mr Brown. (i mean they do have coke in the country,no?)

doesnt mean i wouldnt watch though

IT's not that he couldn't SING country, it's the all the humiliating "country" challenges I'm sure he'd have to go through on a show like that, is what would make me want to watch.

i jus meant the difference between a country ass nicca and a hood nicca isnt as big as it may seem

i WOULD love to see what a country challenge would be though LOL

EDIT:this has turned from a brief conversation i recently had,to a weird conversation im currently having in someones hijacked thread thread...LOL

Fact: strange that we don't do this anymore, but in Elizabethan England, "country" was a synonym for sex. They heard the pun on "cunt" clearly (whereas we no longer seem to), plus they had the image of those big-family-having farmers as doing nothing but lying around drinking and screwing all day. Thus, in Hamlet, he has the following exchange with Ophelia:

Hamlet: Shall I lie in your lap?
Ophelia: No, my lord.
Hamlet: I mean my head upon your lap.
Ophelia: Yes, my lord.
Hamlet: Did you think I meant country matters?

where have you been all my life!?!

Working for a Shakespeare theatre. So you like women who know their Shakespearean cunt puns, eh?

what's important here is that i'm going to take this opportunity to tell you that i'm going to have sex with Emma Watson.


I'm going to put down a guarantee that by Next July, i will have met/mingled/slept and dated emma watson.

ready...

set..

gogogogogoggogo....

i'll keep u updated.

it would be the last thing you ever did.

now thats important.

than i'll die a happy man

ATM One Time!