in eight days.

bbfidts

Congratulation. Marriage is stupid, almost no one is happy like that, and I only hope that you have no assets or children you forgot to abort.

Haha. Well, almost no one is happy anyways, but thanks.

congrats i r jealous, train ur kids to ebcome next TIGA Woods

It's seriously not too late to get out of it. I speak as a friend. It's unnatural. Just like procreation. I don't mean to spoil it for you, but you'll wish you listened to me one day. Run.

Is she pregnant?

lol



Nope.

Congrats and good luck. I'm almost at 7 years and very happy.

Close to 6 for me and it has been a blast.

If the sex and the communication is good and you guys have fun together and enjoy some of the same things, then it's entrely likely you'll be happy for quite a while. Good luck!

congrats!

<----------married and happy, for the record








Congrats VB.....

Marriage isn't for everyone but it works for some people. So um, congrats.




well said



But is he?

LOL Good one Lost

Nice to hear its working out for some people!

My friends who are married have either said - it changes nothing - or - that they felt a psychological shift which they enjoyed greatly. For us I don't think it will be much of change, but I am looking forward to it nonetheless.

And especially looking forward to our honeymoon in Hawaii! Woohoo!

And for the record, I am not pregnant either.

Congrats and enjoy your honeymoon!!!! hawaii is the shit!

take it seriously or don't do it.

love is a verb.

Have you lived together yet? That's the big difference, imo. I got married last summer (so obv. still early in the marriage), but we dated for 5 years and lived together for 2 before we took the plunge. I always tell every guy I meet that I HIGHLY reccomend living together for awhile before thinking about marriage. I've had 3 different friends in the last 3 years who were thinking of marrying their longtime g/fs, lived together for a few months, and broke up soon after. Nothing has really changed for us other than her last name and different benefits and what not. Welcome to the club. Enjoy the honeymoon sex. You might not get that good of lovin' again for a while.

GG poker

Well I guess I'll be the one to take the opposite point of view. It'll be eight years for my wife and I this year. We didn't live together before we got married, in fact she lived with her parents until the big day. I LOVE being married, we feel truly blessed to have found each other and be together (and now with a nearly 7-month-old daughter).

Statistically speaking, several studies show seven saudi soldiers... (j/k) ... studies show that divorce rates are much higher for those couples that live together before marriage. These are easily found online. So food for thought.

Eitherway, the point is... CONGRATS VB! Enjoy the entire experience!

Yep we have lived together for a couple years now. I do agree that's important, you kinda have to know whether you can make it work or not. It's workin so far!!

probably related to the correlation of the sanctity of marriage and morals.

AKA stay married even though you despise each other because Jesus says you have to.

Only reason to get married!

sometimes

and sometimes it's "work thru tough times together and not quit so easily because no two people are perfect matches"

lol

What the hell are you blathering on about? I picture you're wearing one of those headset microphones when you say that.

----

OP, the "LOL"s concern me. It's almost like you think I'm joking. I'm actually trying to stop this marriage. My parents were trapped in a loveless marriage, and I would bet anything that from a year in until the day she died, my father prayed for my mother's death daily. My ant was overjoyed when the reaper freed her, my sister is divorced, oldest brother is on his second wife, and my younger brother is separated after less than two months. What if I pay for the Hawaii trip? Will that settle it?

If that doesn't convince you, think of your friends. Here's a little tip: no one wants to go to your fucking wedding. It's stupid for like 50 reasons, but do you think your friends really want to dress like idiots, buy you tupperware and watch you two humiliate yourselves by repeating lame cliches to each other, and then making out? It's embarrassing. And don't think they don't know it's all a sham for attention and gift certificates. You're already living together; the relationship is the same goddamned thing; all you're doing is putting on a tattered relic of a melodrama, and then making sure that whether he slaps you around, nails your sister, or you just get sick of him, you can't just pack up and move out.

I'll leave you with the words of a great man and profit, Doug Stanhope: If marriage didn't exist, would you invent it? Would you think, "damn, baby, this thing we've got, you and me -- it's so good we've gotta' get the government in on it"?

Allright, as you wish. I will take you seriously then.
First point is that it surely wouldn't be the right thing to do if a comment on an internet forum were to sway me.

Obviously there are bad marriages. As people have pointed out in this thread, there are good ones too.
My personal theory is that a lot of the failure of marriage is related to age -- people who get married too early are doomed. I am 33, she is 29, we are not naive about relationships and life.


I actually agree with a lot of this. For one thing, I am very anti-tuxedo. I think western formal clothing looks ridiculous and is uncomfortable to boot. I am wearing an Indian-style tunic/robe sorta thing, as are all the men in the wedding party. Comfortable, yet dignified.

We are not repeating any cliches to each other. We are people who have a strong connection with nature, but are intentionally not involved in organized religion. So our ceremony is unique and will be entirely un-cheesy and non-religious. None of the standard wedding dialogue, no here comes the bride BS (we are playing Here Comes The Sun as she comes down the aisle). Mostly it will just be a fun party.



Of course pretty much nothing comes about that way. I think the marriage practice has a lot to do with the fact that humans kind of ride the line between monogamy and polygamy, but since child-rearing is so costly, cultural mechanisms for ensuring monogamy kick into place at some point. The cultural recognition of a couple makes them more stable as a family unit, and of course ritual comes into play to mark that kind of psychological shift from individual to cooperative couple-unit.

First of all, I was 99% you were a chick. I forget why. Second, that ceremony actually sounds a lot worse than normal ones. Indian-style tunics, "Here Comes the Sun..." (Sorry, I didn't mean that to seem so pointless and mean, but...I mean, it sounds like a fake hippy wedding in a Thomas Pynchon novel or something. Again, this is coming out as an attack in spite of my efforts, and for that I apologize.)

Third, I believe the "good" marriages are a sham. The sham is two-pronged; people half-lie to themselves so they don't feel like they pissed their life away on an unnatural institution, and the other half is that people half-knowingly suffocate their souls so they can deal with horrific monotony, and get to a point where they can't deal without it. I personally have never met anyone in a marriage and thought, "man, I wish I could live like that." The people who do seem like they're happy in their relationship are unbearably boring people, which almost scares me more.

...It looks like I can't change your mind, then, so I wish you the best, and I hope in your case I'm wrong. (Actually, thought I do kinda' wish you the best, it would be extremely awesome and reaffirming for me if you came back in like two years with stories of your messy divorce. Just sayin')

Maybe because someone asked if I was pregnant. I think they were referring to the pregnant man story someone posted a couple weeks ago.

Well you're not invited then!



At least your parent's marriage didn't leave you cynical! :|

I'm a lot of things -- skeptical, pessimistic, unfairly guarded and negative, cynical, suspicious -- but a communist is not among them, sir.

...But I do happen to be correct, here.

LOL, what a douche. GL w/ the marriage, suh.

Yeah, all married people are so much more miserable than you.
You are damaged goods.

holy triple post

.

You're just bitter about that comment I made about your "love is a verb" expression. Dutch isn't an unhappy person (it's largely bravado), and to the extent that I chemically am, a wife isn't going to improve things. But that's a whole other thing...

God I feel like commenting.

YOU HEAR THAT GUYS?? THE STATISTICS ARE ON THE INTERNET!!!! THEY MUST BE TRUE!!!!!!!

Bring it on!

20 Years on the 28th of May for me and the wife.

Marriage is great. But Actuary nailed it, work at it and don't take her for granted.

Congrats.

Where in Hawaii you going?

Me and the misses are going to Maui in a couple weeks to whale watch

go whale watching in Alabama, you will have better luck

20 years is a great accomplishment, congrats!

We are going to Kauai.. I have been to Maui but never to Kauai, looking forward to some good hiking.

.

what did nick forget?

i forgoty this wasnt the high thread adjfasdj

lol. I wasn't offended because I probably didnt get the point of the reference
If you really don't understand the "love is a verb" comment, then I'm even less offended.

At this point I'm actually confused. Are we actually arguing somehow?

I view you as an internet persona and not an actual human being.

Human beings are boring, and over the internet, one-dimensional. A good persona can convey things your boring asses never will. If you don't become an embellishment of yourself or something else, you become a placid, tepid footnote; a stream of blank posts I have to scan through to get to something interesting. You're all AM-broadcast.