QUOTE (freak2304 @ Saturday, April 19th, 2008, 12:03 AM) 
AKA stay married even though you despise each other because Jesus says you have to.
*slowlyraiseshandsmiley*
Full Version: Gg Me
*slowlyraiseshandsmiley*
Best of luck VB !
QUOTE (TwstdWrstr @ Friday, April 18th, 2008, 10:50 PM)
Statistically speaking, several studies show seven saudi soldiers... (j/k) ... studies show that divorce rates are much higher for those couples that live together before marriage. These are easily found online. So food for thought.
QUOTE (RhinestoneCowboy @ Saturday, April 19th, 2008, 7:39 PM)
YOU HEAR THAT GUYS?? THE STATISTICS ARE ON THE INTERNET!!!! THEY MUST BE TRUE!!!!!!!
For the record, that statistic was also in a couple different sociology textbooks I've read through. I don't recall the exact numbers, and I think "much" higher might also be an exaggeration.
And of course, correlation doesn't always mean cause. There's plenty of reasons why that statistic isn't really proof of what some will think it indicates.
Edit: Oh yeah, and congrats to the OP.
QUOTE (bdc30 @ Friday, April 18th, 2008, 7:42 AM)
bbfidts
hahaha
i lol'd
QUOTE (finztotheleft @ Sunday, April 20th, 2008, 1:50 AM)
*slowlyraiseshandsmiley*
I pictured you as happily married.
With a bad back. But happy.
Congrats!
25 years for the wife and I this August!
It was the best of times it was the worst of times.
Wouldn't trade the old broad in for anything.
25 years for the wife and I this August!
It was the best of times it was the worst of times.
Wouldn't trade the old broad in for anything.
GG!
I'm getting married in under 2 weeks.
$5 LL?
$5 LL?
QUOTE (Actuary @ Sunday, April 20th, 2008, 7:58 PM)
I pictured you as happily married.
With a bad back. But happy.
With a bad back. But happy.
One of those....we worked opposite shifts for 10 years so we wouldn't have to put the kids in daycare.....then I injured my back and we see each other all the time. He's not a creep or anything, we just don't have much in common or to say to each other. That, and I'm always right and he fails to recognize that
Ehhh....whatccha gonna do ?That is the basis for my marital advice though VB......it's very easy to let jobs, kids, life in general to get so time consuming that you forget to take care of your relationship. It's so easy to think when something is bugging you that you'll bring it up at a better time....after the holidays, after the big vacation, or when we get some time alone. You have to make that time and not let harsh feelings build up.
QUOTE (SAM_Hard8 @ Sunday, April 20th, 2008, 8:03 PM)
Congrats!
25 years for the wife and I this August!
Wouldn't trade the old broad in for anything.
25 years for the wife and I this August!
Wouldn't trade the old broad in for anything.
Except for Jennifer Anniston ? Seriously......I think being happy after 25 years is pretty damn awesome !
QUOTE (RhinestoneCowboy @ Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008, 10:02 PM)
I'm getting married in under 2 weeks.
$5 LL?
$5 LL?
LOL.......NH
QUOTE (finztotheleft @ Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008, 12:33 AM)
advice though VB......it's very easy to let jobs, kids, life in general to get so time consuming that you forget to take care of your relationship. It's so easy to think when something is bugging you that you'll bring it up at a better time....after the holidays, after the big vacation, or when we get some time alone. You have to make that time and not let harsh feelings build up.
makes a lot of sense, ty
QUOTE (Dirtydutch @ Saturday, April 19th, 2008, 2:54 AM)
What the hell are you blathering on about? I picture you're wearing one of those headset microphones when you say that.
----
OP, the "LOL"s concern me. It's almost like you think I'm joking. I'm actually trying to stop this marriage. My parents were trapped in a loveless marriage, and I would bet anything that from a year in until the day she died, my father prayed for my mother's death daily. My ant was overjoyed when the reaper freed her, my sister is divorced, oldest brother is on his second wife, and my younger brother is separated after less than two months. What if I pay for the Hawaii trip? Will that settle it?
If that doesn't convince you, think of your friends. Here's a little tip: no one wants to go to your fucking wedding. It's stupid for like 50 reasons, but do you think your friends really want to dress like idiots, buy you tupperware and watch you two humiliate yourselves by repeating lame cliches to each other, and then making out? It's embarrassing. And don't think they don't know it's all a sham for attention and gift certificates. You're already living together; the relationship is the same goddamned thing; all you're doing is putting on a tattered relic of a melodrama, and then making sure that whether he slaps you around, nails your sister, or you just get sick of him, you can't just pack up and move out.
I'll leave you with the words of a great man and profit, Doug Stanhope: If marriage didn't exist, would you invent it? Would you think, "damn, baby, this thing we've got, you and me -- it's so good we've gotta' get the government in on it"?
----
OP, the "LOL"s concern me. It's almost like you think I'm joking. I'm actually trying to stop this marriage. My parents were trapped in a loveless marriage, and I would bet anything that from a year in until the day she died, my father prayed for my mother's death daily. My ant was overjoyed when the reaper freed her, my sister is divorced, oldest brother is on his second wife, and my younger brother is separated after less than two months. What if I pay for the Hawaii trip? Will that settle it?
If that doesn't convince you, think of your friends. Here's a little tip: no one wants to go to your fucking wedding. It's stupid for like 50 reasons, but do you think your friends really want to dress like idiots, buy you tupperware and watch you two humiliate yourselves by repeating lame cliches to each other, and then making out? It's embarrassing. And don't think they don't know it's all a sham for attention and gift certificates. You're already living together; the relationship is the same goddamned thing; all you're doing is putting on a tattered relic of a melodrama, and then making sure that whether he slaps you around, nails your sister, or you just get sick of him, you can't just pack up and move out.
I'll leave you with the words of a great man and profit, Doug Stanhope: If marriage didn't exist, would you invent it? Would you think, "damn, baby, this thing we've got, you and me -- it's so good we've gotta' get the government in on it"?
It's important to note that while your extended family has had little luck with marriage (too selfish?) that not every family is like that. For instance, my grandfather just died at age 93. He was married to my grandma since he was 19 or 20. They had 5 kids.
The oldest kid got married at 23 and is still married at 65. He had 3 kids who are all married now. The youngest has been married 10 years the oldest 20.
The 2nd kid got married in his 20's and is still married to the same woman at 62. They had two kids, one adopted, who are both married to the same woman. One for 15 years, one just got married in the fall.
The 3rd kid got married in her 20's and is still married to the same man at 60. They had two girls, both are married to the same guy, something like 13 and 17 years respectively.
The 4th kid got married in her 20's and is still married to the same man at 58. They struggled in their marriage for a few years but are stronger together than ever now. They had two kids, both still married to the same person. 8 and 12 years.
The last kid got married in his 20's and is still married to the same woman at 53. They had 4 kids, one is married the rest are still unmarried the oldest unmarried girl is handicapped and 26.
That is my dad's side. My mom's parents also had 5 kids. NO DIVORCES with the kids or any of the kids that they had.
On both sides of my family we have over 600 combined years of marriage (just the people that are still alive) with zero divorces, and I don't know a single family other than my dad's sister for a few years... that was unhappy.
QUOTE (brvheart @ Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008, 12:52 PM)
It's important to note that while your extended family has had little luck with marriage (too selfish?) that not every family is like that. For instance, my grandfather just died at age 93. He was married to my grandma since he was 19 or 20. They had 5 kids.
The oldest kid got married at 23 and is still married at 65. He had 3 kids who are all married now. The youngest has been married 10 years the oldest 20.
The 2nd kid got married in his 20's and is still married to the same woman at 62. They had two kids, one adopted, who are both married to the same woman. One for 15 years, one just got married in the fall.
The 3rd kid got married in her 20's and is still married to the same man at 60. They had two girls, both are married to the same guy, something like 13 and 17 years respectively.
The 4th kid got married in her 20's and is still married to the same man at 58. They struggled in their marriage for a few years but are stronger together than ever now. They had two kids, both still married to the same person. 8 and 12 years.
The last kid got married in his 20's and is still married to the same woman at 53. They had 4 kids, one is married the rest are still unmarried the oldest unmarried girl is handicapped and 26.
That is my dad's side. My mom's parents also had 5 kids. NO DIVORCES with the kids or any of the kids that they had.
On both sides of my family we have over 600 combined years of marriage (just the people that are still alive) with zero divorces, and I don't know a single family other than my dad's sister for a few years... that was unhappy.
The oldest kid got married at 23 and is still married at 65. He had 3 kids who are all married now. The youngest has been married 10 years the oldest 20.
The 2nd kid got married in his 20's and is still married to the same woman at 62. They had two kids, one adopted, who are both married to the same woman. One for 15 years, one just got married in the fall.
The 3rd kid got married in her 20's and is still married to the same man at 60. They had two girls, both are married to the same guy, something like 13 and 17 years respectively.
The 4th kid got married in her 20's and is still married to the same man at 58. They struggled in their marriage for a few years but are stronger together than ever now. They had two kids, both still married to the same person. 8 and 12 years.
The last kid got married in his 20's and is still married to the same woman at 53. They had 4 kids, one is married the rest are still unmarried the oldest unmarried girl is handicapped and 26.
That is my dad's side. My mom's parents also had 5 kids. NO DIVORCES with the kids or any of the kids that they had.
On both sides of my family we have over 600 combined years of marriage (just the people that are still alive) with zero divorces, and I don't know a single family other than my dad's sister for a few years... that was unhappy.
Yeah, but we're not talking about polygamy here.
Well, I actually went through with it.
Wedding was awesome, Kauai was even more awesome. If anyone is considering Hawaii, I highly recommend Kauai, definitely the most beautiful of the islands I have been to. Seems like there's a waterfall around every corner. Helicopter tour was one of the highlights, just incredible views from up there, although I was a bit disappointed the tour wasn't run by T.C.
Wedding was awesome, Kauai was even more awesome. If anyone is considering Hawaii, I highly recommend Kauai, definitely the most beautiful of the islands I have been to. Seems like there's a waterfall around every corner. Helicopter tour was one of the highlights, just incredible views from up there, although I was a bit disappointed the tour wasn't run by T.C.
QUOTE (freak2304 @ Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008, 5:57 PM)
Yeah, but we're not talking about polygamy here.
Polygamy is definitely the way to go. Everyone's happy, and if any of the women get sad, just beat them until their happy again. Win-win for everyone.
QUOTE (vbnautilus @ Tuesday, May 6th, 2008, 11:33 AM)
Well, I actually went through with it.
Wedding was awesome, Kauai was even more awesome. If anyone is considering Hawaii, I highly recommend Kauai, definitely the most beautiful of the islands I have been to. Seems like there's a waterfall around every corner. Helicopter tour was one of the highlights, just incredible views from up there, although I was a bit disappointed the tour wasn't run by T.C.
Wedding was awesome, Kauai was even more awesome. If anyone is considering Hawaii, I highly recommend Kauai, definitely the most beautiful of the islands I have been to. Seems like there's a waterfall around every corner. Helicopter tour was one of the highlights, just incredible views from up there, although I was a bit disappointed the tour wasn't run by T.C.
Congrats man!
QUOTE (vbnautilus @ Tuesday, May 6th, 2008, 11:33 AM)
Well, I actually went through with it.
Wedding was awesome, Kauai was even more awesome. If anyone is considering Hawaii, I highly recommend Kauai, definitely the most beautiful of the islands I have been to. Seems like there's a waterfall around every corner. Helicopter tour was one of the highlights, just incredible views from up there, although I was a bit disappointed the tour wasn't run by T.C.
Wedding was awesome, Kauai was even more awesome. If anyone is considering Hawaii, I highly recommend Kauai, definitely the most beautiful of the islands I have been to. Seems like there's a waterfall around every corner. Helicopter tour was one of the highlights, just incredible views from up there, although I was a bit disappointed the tour wasn't run by T.C.
QUOTE (timwakefield @ Tuesday, May 6th, 2008, 12:43 PM)
Congrats man!
Yep, Kauai is awesome. I grew up there from 12 - 20 and then I moved to San Diego. The parents are still there and the wife and I are going in August to visit them for a couple weeks. Did you get to the Kalalau trail or at least the Alakai Swamp? There is some really good hiking but those are my favorites.
QUOTE (TwstdWrstr @ Friday, April 18th, 2008, 10:50 PM)
Well I guess I'll be the one to take the opposite point of view. It'll be eight years for my wife and I this year. We didn't live together before we got married, in fact she lived with her parents until the big day. I LOVE being married, we feel truly blessed to have found each other and be together (and now with a nearly 7-month-old daughter).
Statistically speaking, several studies show seven saudi soldiers... (j/k) ... studies show that divorce rates are much higher for those couples that live together before marriage. These are easily found online. So food for thought.
Eitherway, the point is... CONGRATS VB! Enjoy the entire experience!
Statistically speaking, several studies show seven saudi soldiers... (j/k) ... studies show that divorce rates are much higher for those couples that live together before marriage. These are easily found online. So food for thought.
Eitherway, the point is... CONGRATS VB! Enjoy the entire experience!
We've had this discussion ad nauseum in another thread - so i'm not gonna write TOO much about it. But let me say it again:
Getting married without living together is absolutely retarded. Sure, it might work out anyway. But if it doesn't - wouldn't it be easier to just break up rather then have to go through a divorce? (How embarrassing).
And therein lies a good reason the 'not living together first' marriages last longer. Half the people probably figure, "well crap, I can't get a divorce now. That is against my beliefs/morals/ego" (you know, the reason you didn't live together before marriage in the first place). "I'll just live out the rest of my life in misery or at the very best, being semi-content."
NO THANKS! Make sure you can tolerate them first, THEN get married.
P.S. <--------- Happily married 1 year ::knock on wood::
QUOTE (freak2304 @ Friday, April 18th, 2008, 8:06 PM)
Have you lived together yet? That's the big difference, imo. I got married last summer (so obv. still early in the marriage), but we dated for 5 years and lived together for 2 before we took the plunge. I always tell every guy I meet that I HIGHLY reccomend living together for awhile before thinking about marriage. I've had 3 different friends in the last 3 years who were thinking of marrying their longtime g/fs, lived together for a few months, and broke up soon after. Nothing has really changed for us other than her last name and different benefits and what not. Welcome to the club. Enjoy the honeymoon sex. You might not get that good of lovin' again for a while.
QUOTE (Yoda @ Tuesday, May 6th, 2008, 5:33 PM)
We've had this discussion ad nauseum in another thread - so i'm not gonna write TOO much about it. But let me say it again:
Getting married without living together is absolutely retarded. Sure, it might work out anyway. But if it doesn't - wouldn't it be easier to just break up rather then have to go through a divorce? (How embarrassing).
And therein lies a good reason the 'not living together first' marriages last longer. Half the people probably figure, "well crap, I can't get a divorce now. That is against my beliefs/morals/ego" (you know, the reason you didn't live together before marriage in the first place). "I'll just live out the rest of my life in misery or at the very best, being semi-content."
NO THANKS! Make sure you can tolerate them first, THEN get married.
P.S. <--------- Happily married 1 year ::knock on wood::
Getting married without living together is absolutely retarded. Sure, it might work out anyway. But if it doesn't - wouldn't it be easier to just break up rather then have to go through a divorce? (How embarrassing).
And therein lies a good reason the 'not living together first' marriages last longer. Half the people probably figure, "well crap, I can't get a divorce now. That is against my beliefs/morals/ego" (you know, the reason you didn't live together before marriage in the first place). "I'll just live out the rest of my life in misery or at the very best, being semi-content."
NO THANKS! Make sure you can tolerate them first, THEN get married.
P.S. <--------- Happily married 1 year ::knock on wood::
I find that we agree alot since you and I got into it about something awhile back.....I'm scared.
QUOTE (freak2304 @ Tuesday, May 6th, 2008, 6:48 PM)
I find that we agree alot since you and I got into it about something awhile back.....I'm scared.
We did? I don't remember. LHIOB.
QUOTE (dapokerbum @ Tuesday, May 6th, 2008, 3:21 PM)
Yep, Kauai is awesome. I grew up there from 12 - 20 and then I moved to San Diego. The parents are still there and the wife and I are going in August to visit them for a couple weeks. Did you get to the Kalalau trail or at least the Alakai Swamp? There is some really good hiking but those are my favorites.
Yeah, we did the Alakai Swamp trail. Very cool and trippy. Didn't have time for the Kalalau trail, but I would definitely plan on doing that one if I came back. One of my favorite spots was Secret Beach (Kauapea Beach), climbing the lava rocks to the west of it there are these awesome lava pools you can swim in and then an excellent waterfall that dumps onto the tide pools.
QUOTE (vbnautilus @ Tuesday, May 6th, 2008, 11:33 AM)
Well, I actually went through with it.
Wedding was awesome, Kauai was even more awesome. If anyone is considering Hawaii, I highly recommend Kauai, definitely the most beautiful of the islands I have been to. Seems like there's a waterfall around every corner. Helicopter tour was one of the highlights, just incredible views from up there, although I was a bit disappointed the tour wasn't run by T.C.
Wedding was awesome, Kauai was even more awesome. If anyone is considering Hawaii, I highly recommend Kauai, definitely the most beautiful of the islands I have been to. Seems like there's a waterfall around every corner. Helicopter tour was one of the highlights, just incredible views from up there, although I was a bit disappointed the tour wasn't run by T.C.
vn man!
pics of
QUOTE (Yoda @ Tuesday, May 6th, 2008, 2:33 PM)
We've had this discussion ad nauseum in another thread - so i'm not gonna write TOO much about it. But let me say it again:
Getting married without living together is absolutely retarded. Sure, it might work out anyway. But if it doesn't - wouldn't it be easier to just break up rather then have to go through a divorce? (How embarrassing).
And therein lies a good reason the 'not living together first' marriages last longer. Half the people probably figure, "well crap, I can't get a divorce now. That is against my beliefs/morals/ego" (you know, the reason you didn't live together before marriage in the first place). "I'll just live out the rest of my life in misery or at the very best, being semi-content."
NO THANKS! Make sure you can tolerate them first, THEN get married.
P.S. <--------- Happily married 1 year ::knock on wood::
Getting married without living together is absolutely retarded. Sure, it might work out anyway. But if it doesn't - wouldn't it be easier to just break up rather then have to go through a divorce? (How embarrassing).
And therein lies a good reason the 'not living together first' marriages last longer. Half the people probably figure, "well crap, I can't get a divorce now. That is against my beliefs/morals/ego" (you know, the reason you didn't live together before marriage in the first place). "I'll just live out the rest of my life in misery or at the very best, being semi-content."
NO THANKS! Make sure you can tolerate them first, THEN get married.
P.S. <--------- Happily married 1 year ::knock on wood::
huh, now that you put it like that it makes a lot of sense
QUOTE (Yoda @ Tuesday, May 6th, 2008, 8:09 PM)
We did? I don't remember. LHIOB.
Yeah, I think it surrounded around when zsta hit n run w/ everybody's mobneys, but I don't remember what exactly it was about. -shrug- Swept under the rug, imo.
QUOTE (freak2304 @ Wednesday, May 7th, 2008, 5:17 PM)
Yeah, I think it surrounded around when zsta hit n run w/ everybody's mobneys, but I don't remember what exactly it was about. -shrug- Swept under the rug, imo.
I think we all agree now about zsta, he is a bastard and should rot in hell.
QUOTE (Yoda @ Wednesday, May 7th, 2008, 4:43 PM)
I think we all agree now about zsta, he is a bastard and should rot in hell.
QFT
QUOTE (vbnautilus @ Friday, April 18th, 2008, 2:40 AM)
in eight days.
CONGRATULATIONS
So............Divorced yet?
QUOTE (vbnautilus @ Friday, April 18th, 2008, 12:17 PM)
Nice to hear its working out for some people!
My friends who are married have either said - it changes nothing - or - that they felt a psychological shift which they enjoyed greatly. For us I don't think it will be much of change, but I am looking forward to it nonetheless.
And especially looking forward to our honeymoon in Hawaii! Woohoo!
And for the record, I am not pregnant either.
My friends who are married have either said - it changes nothing - or - that they felt a psychological shift which they enjoyed greatly. For us I don't think it will be much of change, but I am looking forward to it nonetheless.
And especially looking forward to our honeymoon in Hawaii! Woohoo!
And for the record, I am not pregnant either.
congrats
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