"cause of the Beast. They say it's as big as 4 cats and its got a retractable leg so it can leap up at you better and you know what Ted it lights up at night and ah its got 4 ears, 2 of them are for listening and the other two are kind of backup ears and its claws are as big as cups and for some reason its got a tremendous fear of stamps. Mrs Doyle was telling me that its got magnets on its tail so that if your made of metal it can attach itself to you and instead of a mouth its got 4 arses"

"oh yes the Italians know about football allright and of course the world of fashion. God Ted do you remember that fella who was so good at fashion they had to shoot him"

Ted: His note from the bishop said they never really found a suitable place for him... he's not a very nice man, is he?
Dougal: God, Ted. I've never met anyone like him anywhere... who would he be like - Hitler or one of those mad fellas.
Ted: Oh, worse than Hitler. You wouldn't find Hitler playing jungle music at 3 o'clock in the morning.

"You know the phrase 'to take care of something'? Well, I realise now that you meant that in a sort of Al Pacino way. Whereas I was thinking more along the lines of Julie Andrews."

Dougal: Ah go on Ted, they'll love it, Bishops are mad into that Sci-Fi stuff
Ted: Dougal, we are not watching Aliens!!!

"Mrs Doyle: Won't you have some cake, Father? It's got cocaine in it. Oh no, hang on, it's not cocaine, is it. What do I mean now? - the little things... Raisins! "

Father Dougal: I know! Well lure them into a giant bingo game!
Father Ted: And how are we going to do that?
Father Dougal: We'll print up some bingo cards on our printing press and... oh.
Father Ted: Yes, it's the lack of a printing press that lets us down there. Or bingo balls. Or a PA system. Or in fact, any bingo paraphernalia at all.
Father Dougal: Damn. So near, yet so far.

Father Ted: Come on, Dougal, switch the television off. Chewing gum for the eyes!
Father Dougal: No thanks, Ted!

its so beautiful

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4Hk9hfQllw

I dont get it?

in before lock

I thought you were talking about http://www.flyted.com

Dougal: God, I can't wait to see what's under tomorrow's window. I bet it's a donkey or something.
Father Ted: Really? So, you've changed from your initial prediction of... what was it again? "Ruud Gullit sitting on a shed." God, Dougal, where do you get these ideas from? I bet it's just a lovely angel. What do you think's under tomorrow's window, Father?
Father Jack: A pair of feckin' women's knickers!
Father Ted: Who knows...
Father Jack: Knickers!
Father Ted: Yes, Father.
Father Jack: Women's knickers!
Father Ted: Yes, Father, Yes! Message understood.

[to his pet rabbit]
Father Dougal: Come on, Sampras.
Father Ted: What did you call him?
Father Dougal: Sampras, like Pete Sampras.
Father Ted: Why?
Father Dougal: Well... you know, rabbits, tennis, you know that whole connection there.

One of the best shows ever made.

"are those my feet?"


"I love my brick!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8linZiGYSeE

We should probably move this to the entertainment thread

For those who don't the thread:

If you do one thing this Paddy's day, go to a DVD store and buy a season of "Fr. Ted". You won't regret it. Just make sure you aren't easily offended (The show isn't too offensive, stuff like Family Guy is worse). Also, I know that to Irish people it is hilarious, coz, well, we can relate to the jokes, but even though it might be hard to get all the jokes, it still should be funny.