We need some direction or this magazine is never going to get off the ground.

Who is the director of Modicum Opus?

I feel a rejuvenation of mediocrity is needed to exasperate our level of commitment to just below greatness, and just above putrid.

I for one will not stand sit here and take lightly what we have almost achieved and let rhetoric decide our fate. NO SIR I WILL NOT!!

I for one will talk about doing something almost great, and will wait for someone else to attempt to achieve it.

This is what I sit for!

-------------------------

Navy I have deleted pretty much everything I have typed. I did it so I continue to try and be funny instead of looking back to 3 months ago when I did something hilarious. So now I need to come up with a cartoon idea and some dialog, I may be able to work on that over the next couple nights. This obviously has priority, who cares that I am in the middle of a job and firm transition and that we officially hit a Bear market on Friday! THIS IS IMPORTANT GODDAMMIT!


-----------------------------

July 8th 2008 NooN


Well that wasn't a mouthful RTM.

So is Austin an official part of this thread or not, because with Q's acknowledgment it made me hold off on my shunning, and much like my sex life I am all pent up and ready to explode. I need answers, and I need them now!!

-------------------------------

July 11th 2008 Just after NooN

Discretion aside, where do we draw the line from exclusivity and obscureness. Our obscureness has caused a primary function of the thread to be all but removed. We will SHUN NO MORE!?

I was considering discussing an invite to replace our fallen compadres, I was think LLY but since he is most likely RR or a figment of his imagination, we would still only get a post a month.

My clock is about to turn another year, and my mind is fighting it with all its might. Oh how some days I long for those post high school years, where I went sexless but didn't have responsibility. Being sexless but having responsibility makes masturbation of function of survival and not illicit enjoyment as it once was.

I no longer live to wack, yet I wack to live. These my friends are the Days of My Lives.

-------------------------------------------

July 12th 2008

Today is my Birthday, and my sons Birthday.

I feel like dancing

--------------------------------------------

July 15th 2008

Until the O.P. is correctly updated referencing and new members, showing they have followed proper protocol and signed the Magnum Opus, then my Shun-O-Meter is at full.

Also, I now work with women in the office and that sucks. One is bitchy, the other talks too much.

Ouch I am still waiting patiently for spa images.

------------------------------------

July 21st 2008

So I am trying some new things, and by things I mean different ways to masturbate.

The end results seems to be the same.

A bit of chaffing, stinging and humiliation. That my friends, is a recipie for one hell of a Wednesday* night.



*Wednesday night can be replaced with Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday and it will not affect effect affect eff.. (I can never remember which one is correct) the outcome. GET IT. outCOME!

-------------------------------------

July 22nd 2008

Income Outcome, which ever way you spin it, its still come.

"Come baby, Come baby, baby come come. Well you gotta give me lovin, and you gotta give me some"

---------------------------------------

July 23nd 2008

It's funny sad how we can recognize alters by their speech patterns.

So I had the best sex last night since the last time I got my wife preg....

SON OF A BITCH!

----------------------------------------
July 25th 2008

Now, I ain't saying that I'm perfect, 'cause I'm not. And I ain't gonna never be. None of us are [sans (I really like using sans) Rod Reynolds]. But we have posted perfectly until now. So this thread is perfect. We stepped into this forum this way tonight. And, uh, if it's all the same to you, runthemover, that's how we want to leave it. (I actually don't want to leave at all, but I do have to log off from time to time)


Now ^^^^ that was perfect, or plagiarized from Remember the Titans, either way, PERFECT!


I remember a day when I would have to spend time quoting and hitting reply, waiting for an E-MERIT from a fellow FCPer. Those days are behind me, by at least a week, maybe even two.

-------------------------------------

August 1st 2008

The following conversation never happened?


Q: I need to make a funny and quick, somebody put me on the spot
EG: Where was the spot at and how were you transported?
Q: No, no no no. It is a saying, meaning they are causing me embarrassment if I don't perform.
EG: Oh I get it, that spot.
Q: I'm not sure you do
Q: I am afraid to ask but what do you think I mean?
EG: You know, the SPOT. You can't PERFORM because of the bleeding. It really is kinda gross if you think about it.
Q: :shaking head:
Q: You are a credulous man
EG: Why thank you Q.
Q: Are you really this guileless
EG: :blushing: You really do not need to make words up to compliment me. You know I am a simple man.
Q: Credulous.
EG: Again, thank you.

12:14

I know it has been discussed, but I think we should extend an invite to LLY to partake in this thread. I have been monitoring him closely over the past few weeks, and I think he could bring the thread back into equilibrium from what we have lost with JJJ. Thoughts. I have not consulted the super secret bylaws to see if this is possible, do we vote, if so what percentage do we need to pass a rule, and does JJJ count in that percentage, if not, does RR count has 2/3 based on his latest entry?


------------------------------------------------------------------------


August 4th 2008


There is something strange about the thread today....

----------------------------------------------------------------------

August 5th 2008

- RTM So you came back from LA and cut over to 101? Why didn't you just go 101 the whole way? Also, ship the PM to LLY, we need new blood and shunning, I am shaking due to the lack of shunning.

- Q maybe adding some Scientology to the skit? I don't know I'm just spit balling here!

- Ouch your feeling hurts.

- Navy we need more of you. I mean I need you. I need your essence.

- Rod where hath you ventured?

- Joey Joe Jo....what are we going to do with you? ................................ no seriously guys, what are we going to do?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

August 6th 2008

Q I really don't think you need to know anything about Scientology to make fun of it, that's they beauty of it.

RTM - Yeah you are right, one time I drove down to Malibu and decided to take the 101 just because 5 is so boring and it took like an extra hour or two. I guess it only makes sense if you are going to Oxnard or Ventura. (pretty sure I need to make up for this sentence because there was no sarcasm, irony, humor or even humour in it. Did that do it?)

Rod Rod Rod, I don't think internet aptitude has anything to do with the distraction of phallicly challenged individuals (i mean those that have vagina's and not penises).

So did we invite LLY or did I just dream that? *I really probably need to spend less time on the internet when figments of my imagination are starting to find their way into my subconscious and affect effect affect my dream state.

2:07 PM

Exciting post to come..... BE PATIENT!

4:33 PM

OK, If we invite shiaaces14 its only him, not his alts. And he has to bring it like its never been broughtun before. Ya Dig? Ouch and JLL are setting a precedent I don't think any of want to delve into.


A future conversation

EG: LLY how is the particulator coming along?
LLY: It is a particle accelerator, is he always this dim?
Q: Yes
Ouch: Pretty Much
RTM: Standard
JJJ: Sorry About that.
Navy: RTM don't talk like a poker player its soooo 2006.
RR: Are the particles in the Universe?
JLL: We get it, your funny, get some new material.
RR: I have a lady friend. She is quite handsome.
RTM: You describe her as handsome?
Q: Is she rugged with a strong jaw?
Ouch: Hey we are above gay jokes in here. Women can be handsome too, in a masculine way.
EG: So what do they use like a big sling shot or something accelerate these particulates?
LLY: Why did I post in here again?
Q: For shunning opportunities.
RTM: We have more shunning per capita than any thread in all of the internet. It is quite an impressive feat.
Q: You know who has impressive feet? Uma Thurman, just watch Kill Bill, those things are ginormous.
EG: Making up words again, huh?
Q: Are there internal thread ignore buttons?
LLY: Why did I post in here again?
EG: Do you ever sneak into CERN late at night and race particles like the blue red and white dots at baseball games? I always pick blue, but I only seem to win a third of the time. Oh well its all break even in the end, right?
RR: I don't know you should ask LLY in that math thread.
EG: Good idea.

11:19 PM

- Shun nun un nun nun nu nun nun SHu nun nun! (Sing it to the Bonanza theme, it makes more sense)

- On my long drive home today I had many random thoughts, most of which I have forgotten. But I'll try to remember FOR YOU.

- What do you think gangster black guys and Mexican guys think when they see a white guy, in a suit pull into the gas station in a Mercedes listening to old school 2pac. When I was in college it wasn't as weird, but now its strange. Guess who I am in this story?

- When you guys listen to R E S P E C T by Aretha Franklin, when you get the part where the background singers are singing "sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me" over and over do you stop singing along (shut it, I know you all sing along with Aretha) with Aretha and start singing with the back ground singers, while simultaneously making small punching maneuvers like you were going to the body?

- I heard this song Black Hole Sun while driving and felt that it should be LLY's theme song at CERN and somebody should walk directly behind him at all times plying it on a LARGE 80's boom box.

- Speaking of LLY, can I be the Pinky to your Brain?



NARF!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

August 7th 2008

Hoagie's and Grinders
Hoagie's and Grinders
Navybuttons
Navybuttons
Meatball sandwich

Where are you Navy?



So has there been a decision as to suitedwatson12? I feel he needs to enter all of this joke accounts into an excel spreadsheet, sort them by date joined, then post that sequential list as his first official post.

If you could all have only one superpower what would it be? Mine would be mind reading, with the ability to turn it on and off. Or spontaneous ejaculation, I guess it depends on the situation as to which one would be more useful.

3:31 PM

RTM I bees confuseded?

RR - I think we should have a celebration or a splendiferous nature.

I will continue to ignore the rules of grammar to me's demise!


-----------------------------------------------------------------


August 8th 2008

JJJ. I like the idea of invisible text for all, that will really confuse lurkers, and we shun extra hard secret style.

Also are we going to get a recap of where you went. WE THOUGHT YOU DIED. Or at minimum your wife destroyed your will to live. And since we cannot discuss thread business outside of the thread, no one will ever know!


--------------------------------------------------------------------

August 11th 2008

Fantabulous Q! I am eagerly anticipating your next entry. It makes me year back to the days when I was good at photo shop, but to do what you did would take weeks, so I now leave that to the professionals.

JJJ - I don't buy it, it all sound way too convenient. Besides everyone knows that Africa is in the south. Plus Zimbabwe has 2 Billion % inflation this year, so they go that going for them. What do you have that is so special?

Navy - you weren't joking that funny did affect effect affect my eye.

1:07 PM

OK, I will start the invisible text from this point backward?

10:59

JLL - I agree, it is more work than I am committed to. I do however like that I scroll down to see a lovely picture of Pinky and the Brain. So thats fun.

I thought if we all did invisible text then it would counter balance the rules. It has not,and for one won't STAND FOR IT! Because see I am laying in bed and I really don't want to stand up, but eventually I will probably have to pee, so then I will most likely stand, but it WON'T BE FOR THE PREVIOUS STATED REASONS. So I will stick to my GUNS! Since I do not have any real weaponry near me right now "GUNS" shall be referring to my BICEPS, for this instance only, unless otherwise noted.

I think SHAKEZUMA would be proud, that sorry son of a bitch!

August 12th 2008

DAMN YOU JOEYJOEJO

Q- DO you remember that old Pizza Hut commercial. We Toss Em' We're awesome! Pizza Hut.

What about changing it to two guys guys tossing a salad, but use the same line? I'M JUST SPIT BALLING HERE PEOPLE.

10:22 AM


Rod, Rod, Rod; I would love to do a recipe exchange. I'll start with my drunk flambe' shrimp.


1lb 20-40 count shrimp, deveined, tail on or off, your choice
6 OZ cream
6 OZ of good tequila, preferably clear
1/4 cup scallions
1/2 cup diced tomatoes
1/4 cup parsley
1/4 cup butter
2 tbl spoons extra virgin olive oil
Various spices ( I like using slat, pepper, paprika, chili powder, cumin, and cayenne pepper)


Bring large saute pan up to temperature with oil and butter. Have dried shrimp season with the various spices. Begin to saute the scallions and tomatoes for ab out a minute. Add shrimp and saute for about another 2 minutes. When the shrimp are just turning pink add the Tequila and flambe' (remember to remove from flame after or you will light your kitchen on fire) once the flame has pretty much burned off. Add the cream and the parsley, stir and simmer for about a minute.

Serves best with a NY strip steak medium rare and some Mexican rice. Next recipe will be the Mexican rice.

1:50 PM

JLL- Now that sound like a good recipe for a sandwich!

August 13th 2008

RTM that was a fantastic recap, i chuckled quietly to myself numerous times, and by numerous I mean more than ONE.

JJJ/RTM - I too was confused by SS24's most recent posting, and I in fact also though he was joking, and poorly at that, but it turns out it wasn't a bad joke, but a bad truth, and somehow I think that is worse, although I can't tell because I can't get my brain to function at a low enough rate to fully process what happened.

4:34 PM

I too use a Mach 3, but with the vibrating handle (I guess it's called a handle, what would you call it?) The Shick is sufficient in dire times, but for an every day shave it does not hold up, and you are correct it clogs. I use a typical blade for a week, I try not to go longer, because if I forget and that little moisturizing strip goes away, I get awful razor burn and cuts. How does that strip thing work anyway?

I used to be a member of g.r.o.s.s., I guess technically I still am, but I don't get the newsletter anymore. Once I got older I joined NO MA'AM ("National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood").

August 15th 2008

We can't even get the damn magazine finished, how in the hell are we supposed to produce a movie?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

August 16th 2008

RTM - I feel you need to get over your fear of the internet crashing into your personal life.

Did LLY understand the thread?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

August 19th 2008

Meh, is an understatement Q. I think Meehhh is much more appropriate.

JJJ I agree with you

you are biased

RR I think this is a fantastic idea and if I were not lazier than you I would have come up with the idea not to do also.

Navy- The PM in questions is a special circumstance shunning that JLL8s helped me out with. Please reference Friday evening in the sick thread for further explanation. (Sorry about your parrot)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

August 19th 2008

I like chipmunks better

I have seen the LOL thread but not clicked on it, what am I missing?

3:13

I still don't get what I am missing. Someone yelled, Navy said he shouldn't have yelled, other people yelled, some at Navy. Navy apologized, but not deeply, some more yelling, some general poker shenanigans that hurt my head, then some more yelling, not sure why it was 10 pages.

August 25th 2008

OK I watched it. It was not horrible, until the end. The boobs at the beginning were nice, but counteracted by having to see Vals junk. Lumberg Fucked Her.

August 26th 2008

JJJ - I am not sure if you are mocking me or agreeing. Either way, it is ridiculous that they won't let this kid play. It said something about it being a "developmental" league. (What developmentally challenged? HI HO!) Seriously though, why don't they just move him up into a different program?

2:51

JJJ - Sometimes I have a hard time with the interwebz, specifically this thread, because I assume everyone is always being sarcastic, then back up from there. I am right more than wrong. Also I was laughing at the Little League world series the other day. I never really put this together, but they play Majors until age 12. Well I had moved up to Babe Ruth at that age, we played on a full MLB sized diamond 400 to center, 375 to the gaps and 335 down the lines. We could hit HR's at that age (It was rare, but we could do it) So when you see these 12 year olds, who are the best of the best crushing it 150 feet over the fence, that would be a pop out in Babe Ruth league.

RTM - Oh yes it was terrible, but as far as terrible movies go, it was watchable. Maybe I did not clarify properly. The parts that I loled at were:

1. The scene at the bar where the guy kicked his own ass
2. When VK killed all those guys with random kitchen knives.
3. And the entire ending.

I always though Val Kilmer was a pretty good actor, he was really good in The Saint, but ever since he did that Red Planet movie, his career has been a joke.

August 27th

RTM I am tired and cannot decipher who you are talking about, as far as pitcher account.

Navy - there is a brewery/sandwich shop in Berkley that I love. I have not been there in years, if you move there, maybe it will be a good excuse to go out there and grab a beer. I also agree with driving in Berkley, it sucks. A couple years ago we were furniture shopping and there are a lot of boutique furniture stores right off University Ave. and the side streets, and it is a pain in the ass to get back to them if you miss them. Plus there is this one area that always messed with me, where the street does this giant S through an area that has all the starbucks and borders and all that Jazz.


August 28th

Ahhhhh.


Now I get it.

9:51

There may be something here for you JJJ, I have not read it all.

http://www.fullcontactpoker.com/poker-foru...=127494&hl=

1:09

I am tired of all the genpoers (is that a good word?) making fake accounts of each other, it makes what is already painful and confusing to read, that much worse.

I am a Cubs and Bears fan, but if all these "Chicago" guys keep this up I may have to change my mind.

11:57 when I started this post, but by the time I finish it will most likely be after 12:00 and now August 29th 2008, shit it just turned 11:59 and I am still typing this header, what the hell, I am I caught in SS24 movie speeder upper thing?

OK, everyone now that we have gotten past that. our Dear freind Dustin needs our help, and I for one want to give it to him, regardless of whether he wants it or not. LLY and RR this includes the both of your or the 3 2/3 of you, or whatever, just friggin help. So Navy is trying to produce a play.




My suggestion is that we create a choose your own adventure play. Navy and I have already discussed this (and by discussed it I PMed him about it, and assumed he liked the idea) In this play there are various outcomes (not incomes, that's just gross) that we come to by creating audience participation, and based on their reaction, the play can go in one direction or another. So say there are 5 possible outcomes, but there may be 15 paths to get there. It will all be very confusing and difficult for the actors. But fuck em, they're actors right? It's not like they actually "matter".

So now we need a free flow of ideas. If JJJ wasn't so secret, we could build off some movie ideas he has had in the past and regress them to stage form. Rod you will be in charge technical analysis of the feasibility of marketing this to a mass media outlet with the intent to keep it in-house and retroactively proprietate our position to the genreal public. Got that?, LLY is in charge of the lighting, obv. RTM is in charge of the confusing the actors between plot changes. Ouch can fix the thread when we crash it with ideas, Navy is writing and re-writing the script. I will be over seeing this from a macro standpoint micro focusing on cosim's that need focusing on when needed, macroly. Q Will be in charge of story boarding. and will collaborate with JLL on a score.

Any questions?

8:50 AM

JJJ that is why I said "Any questions?" see its right above this. If could draw an arrow to it, I would.

I probably was not clear enough for you. Your job is the most important of all, in comparison to people who don't have a role. You are to be sub-scripting (not writing scripts about subs, or scripts with subtitles, because this is a play and I don't think someone holding cue cards for the audience would be feasible) plots for Navy so he can create his masterpiece on the back of your literary acquirement*.

* to be internally pronounced with a french accent.

September 2nd

Wow. Long weekend, which will make for a long - short week. (I think that makes sense)

My neighbor and his GF came over Mon for a BBQ (and yes she is hot with fake boobs) and she brought up the discussion of your 5 (She assumed that I knew what the hell she was talking about and after further discussion is was apparently the 5 celebrities if you happen to run into them while buying some Lucky Jeans or a Frapuccino and they tap you on the shoulder and say "Hey Mr. or Mrs. that I have never met before and comparably I am 20 times more attractive than, I would like to take you into the back room and have dirty unprotected sex with you" that you are allowed to complete copulation with no negative recourse from your spouse or significant other).

I for one do not have a list. But after careful consideration (by careful, I mean less than a minute later) I said that this is a terrible idea and told them my list, a realistic list.

1. The Milf that lives across the street
2. My neighbors hot daughter that just turned 18
3. Kacy - a girl I went to HS with that I have always wanted to stick the screws to
4. My neighbors hot daughter that just turned 18's friend, who is also hot and presumably just turned 18 also
5. Angelina Jolie (because she is the only celeb dirty enough to actually follow through on this and my wife has told me that is the only way I will ever get a threesome - I made this selection after careful consideration once I knew her children were born c-section)

I DID NOT get sex that night.

6:07 PM

The cross post was intended for those in here that do not peruse the thread of the sick. I thought it was quite amusing story and wanted to share.

JJJ - I would love a sneak peak, but you need to get moving Navy's play is not going write itself.

September 3rd

I have only seen the Departed once, so I don't remember it well enough to recognize all the nuances, but WOW JJJ, just WOW. How long did that take you? (Thank you for my cameo appearance, I always wanted to be in a fake script parody of a movie, even if it was just one line)

12:35

I would imagine most will read it because it has lots of names of current FCP persona's.

I loved this account and think its funny how much it gets bashed, just like the Holmes Monaco account.

September 5th

OK since essay came out, I'll try and remember mine

Jefe
E-40
Ed McMahon
Analrapist
Shawn Spencer
Burton Guster
JoeyJoeJo - I had some good idea's for this one that fell flat.

I can't think of any more. But I think I am forgetting one or two.

September 8th

E is for E-Merit

4:13

Working this much is the opposite of fun. Thank you for a small piece of entertainment in my day.

JJJ - I thought the quoted part sounded familiar, but alas, I do not know.

September 9th

SADeuceUno - No ShakeZUma is quite gay for popping his pink collars. He does not get an out on this one just because he occasional bangs a young mother.

JJJ - Chrozzo is harmless. He is good guy, but he can be obnoxious too.

Ouch got hurt? What?

September 10th

F is For: Fonzanoon - someone who farts in the bathtub and then bites the bubbles as they come up

Septmeber 12th 2008

Mop, mop, mop
All day long
Mop, mop, mop
While I sing this song

Gonna wax the floor
Gonna make it shine
Gonna take of the spray paint
With turpentine


I am working too much!


A little bit after I posted this ^

I just was reading back my old posts in here, and I realized I save up all my funny for in here now. Not that I am all that funny, but I don't really post anything funny anywhere else.


Navy, that sounds like a lot of work for a very difficult pay off. Wouldn't it be more worth your time to work on your poker? Or do you need a Non-Sequitor break?


A little bit longer after I posted this ^

I am not sure what Spademan is doing in most of the threads he posts in. He probably thinks he knows something.

September 13th

There is someone else in here that is kindof an accountant, and yes you need one. You really think you can be at 200/400 soon? That's pretty awesome.


shialebouf21 - I, among others, would like to understand better your infatuation with Shia. Since we are part a special secret internet society, this will be privileged information (you can feel safe here). But I think this would help us better understand the man that would be Austin.

Later

I actually liked him a lot in the greatest game ever played. I thought he did a good job.

Later, Later

Non traffic times, bout an hour. Cost, for you, a beer. I'll PM you.

September 15th

We also have special circumstances shunning, that is not fully covered in the by laws.

Negative 500 points in the market today makes Guapo a sad man.

Nighty night time

Why is Xibit in the new Xfile movie? Is it just because of his name and the symmetry? If so they should have used that in the advertising. It totally would have gotten like 3-4 more black people to watch the movie.

I will never do multiple fantasy teams again, its just no fun for the root for/against aspect.

September 16th

RTM can you explain the smith test for statistical accuracy please?

September 16th

RTM thats ok, I couldn't find anything on it either, I heard it on a conference call and I may have mis-heard it. Or it could be smithe which changes everything!

JJJ - how did you get added to hblasks chart, did you PM him? Kindof blows your anonymity? No?

Afternoontime



Did we authorize this?


Earlyeveningtime

Isn't getting your horny on, kinda redundant? I mean we are guys, isn't it really just matter of degrees of horniness. Unless of course we are talking about the few minutes after "getting our nut on, or off?" then that may apply, because we will have to work back up to getting our "horny on"

MASTURBATION!

I don't think we would notice any intense urges to gamble, thats pretty much standard. But it may cause you to overplay Ace rag in ep.

boooooooooooooooooooo

Booo what?

i dunno

so good

This is a known problem with Mirapex, and researchers don't exactly know why. But people who have been on it have spent thousands in just a few months on E-bay, begun gambling compulsively after never having been in a casino or on a card site in their lives, become kleptos etc. It may not be a good drug for anyone who gambles regularly or is prone to compulsive or addictive behavior.

Well, at least now I have an excuse.

I think you guys missed the part about intense sexual urges.

The bulk of the "side-effects" seem to be the "urge" to do things that are fun. Which is odd, because the general purpose of most modern drugs seems to be to suppress those urges.

It's really a catch-22 for me: my legs won't stop jimmying, because I never do anything but sit in front of a computer screen, but if I take the pill to stop them, it'll undoing the effects of all the pills I took to kill my soul enough to be OK with the fact that I never do anything but sit in front of a computer screen. I'm fucked as fucked as fuck.

I find this very funny and ironic. Or ironic and funny, I'm not sure which.

An additionally amusing factor: I was so messed up on prescription drugs last night that I don't even remember writing that.

You mean I could use this instead of Roofies?

My aunt took this for her RLS(made up disease, IMO) and became a compulsive shopper and was arrested for shop lifting(though she claims it was a misunderstanding). She also started playing the slots at the casino a ton, to the point she was missing work and in jeopardy of having her car reposessed.

She was a very weak willed individual before she started taking it(and before she was 'diagnosed' with 'RLS'), so who knows.