*POOF*

Whatcha need?

This isn't the new hideout is it?

**** you all i'm staying in the hideout

Musings From A Man Who Plans To Be An Integral Part Of A Popular Nu Metal Band In Six To Nine Months.
If I forget the lyrics to my one of my MANY HITS, I won’t be afraid to AD-LIB IN DESPERATION. Guitar player, can you tell me HOW MANY SYLLABLES the third line has? Thirty-one? I was hoping FOR MUCH LESS.

I will have to add some meaningless sounds TO MAKE THIS THING WORK.

Three aggressive songs in a row? You know it’s time for a SLOWER SONG. It’s for you, attractive girl in the third row. No, the one to your left. My right. She’s not paying attention, can you ask her for her phone number, FOR ME.

When I’m interviewed by Rolling Stone about my SUPPOSED FEUD with a rival band, I plan to take the HIGH ROAD. Then, when the interview is over, I will phone them up and tell them to be sure to get the next copy of the magazine. They’ll suspect I’ve DONE THEM IRREPARABLE HARM, but I think that says much more about them THAN IT DOES ME.

Ranae can Henryv150 take you to Dairy Queen any time soon?

Dead to me.
I was already told today that Im fat and unattractive. I was holding a knife at the time. I regret not using it.

"RAAAAAAAAAAPE!"
Is that "the word"?

I would have sex with you right now just to spite him.

I would have sex with you right now just to spite him.

Like you needed to justify your lust... pfft.

I love the beginnings of superthreads. They're so all over the place.

You gotta tell everything you know?

You just jinxed it.

You weren't lying, she killed it. Killed it dead.

She smothered the (crappy) thread with a pillow, and she showed no mercy or remorse.

Don’t blame me for punching you twice in the neck. Rather, blame RUTHLESS DETERMINISM. For the first one at least. THE SECOND ONE WAS ME.

Perhaps each one of us is nothing more than a vast array of neurons firing ESSENTIALLY AT RANDOM, causing our desires and illusions of purpose, and each day culminating with an unbridled desire for the for the SWEET SCOURGE OF DEATH.

Please give me back MY PANTS. My underwear doesn’t fit properly and EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT ME.

hi

and
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
piss off sir

hi

and
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
piss off sir

She smothered the (crappy) thread with a pillow, and she showed no mercy or remorse.

She dogpatched it.

Smothering someone with a pillow should always be done from behind. Instead of holding the pillow and pushing down on their face... position yourself behind them and grab a nice handful of hair. Use this grip to position their face straight down and apply the desired pressure.

Musings From A Man Who Works At A Job

Everyday at work, I complete an ARRAY OF TASKS. Usually the order is important, but some days the ORDER DOES NOT MATTER. Those, along with flag day, are the days I LIVE FOR.

Even though I get paid for 8 hours per day, I usually only work for SEVEN AND A HALF. I get two fifteen minute breaks to RECHARGE MY BATTERIES. If my boss is reading this, allow me to REITERATE MY THANKS.

Some Fridays are “Casual Fridays”. Most people dress down on those days, but to me, nothing says casual like HIGH HEELS AND A CAPE.

I would have sex with you right now just to spite him.

hi

and
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
piss off sir

aadams22, you knowingly and willingly violated the rules of A (crappy) Thread. You must now face the consequences...
I will now rip your face off.

weeeeeeeee

It's a great time to be a sports fan in Boston, OMG@J# @:LE:ELFWK J:LDF Jslk;j

Damn, why's it gotta be out of spite??
remind not to come to YOU guys anymore when Im having a bad day, sheesh.

weeeeeeeee

It's a great time to be a sports fan in Boston, OMG@J# @:LE:ELFWK J:LDF Jslk;j

Nice try Chicago boy.

Im gonna throw this out there, if you dont like it, send it right back. I want to be on you.
wsox8, you have knowingly and willingly violated the rules of A (crappy) Thread. You must pay the price...

I will now literally rip your face off.

Musings Fom A Man Who Is Anticipating Being Asked To Write A Script For A Science Fiction Movie Set In The Future

To begin with, I’ll BRAINSTORM. This means just throwing out ideas even if you THINK THEY’RE STUPID. I’ll tell you what’s really stupid. A paralyzed midget trying to LIFT A HEAVY PIANO.

Or a regular man trying to lift that same piano, ON JUPITER.

If I decide to go with the theme man vs. machine, I’ll do it in a way that causes the viewer to question THE PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS he may have about MACHINE INTELLIGENCE. You thought robots couldn’t cry? Meet Stanley, THE CRYING ROBOT. That’s all he does.

If the movie should be a hit, I’m not going to automatically agree to a sequel. I plan to MAINTAIN MY ARTISTIC INTEGRITY by agreeing to their conditions only if they promise to PAY ME MORE THAN THE LAST TIME.

Im gonna throw this out there, if you dont like it, send it right back. I want to be on you.

I'm gonna post in here cus the HO is filled with naughty pictures and I'm at work..

If Phil Jackson ever asks me to play point guard for him, I'll tell him that I'd really like to be a part of SOMETHING SPECIAL. So if he thinks I can help, I'll do what I can. BUT I'M NOT PLAYING EVERY GAME.

Just scroll rub one out fast while no one is looking.

Or get a PSP and load it with porn.

<3

<robot-voice>PLEASE SIT ON MY FACE</robot-voice>

Who the **** are you?

<robot-voice>PLEASE SIT ON MY FACE</robot-voice>

Who the **** are you?

A prodigy

Talking to yourself again?

Your really trying to MAKE THIS THREAD HAPPEN aren't you... I'd support you but obviously Renae THWARTED YOUR ATTEMPT, so you may as well just GIVE IT A REST.

Why the fuck would I do something stupid like that. And fuck her too !!
edit: Doh..

Why the fuck would I do something stupid like that. And fuck her too !!
edit: Doh..

Musings From a Man Who Will Let You In On His Strategy If He Ever Gets To Play At A MLB Allstar Game.

2-0? I'm looking FASTBALL. But the pitcher knows this. SCREW IT, I'm going straight to LEVEL 15 THINKING. I'm still looking FASTBALL.

When the ball leaves the bat and I am sure the ball is over the fence, I will RAISE MY HANDS IN CELEBRATION. But not for too long. I don't want to look like an ass. Three minutes SHOULD BE ENOUGH.

As I round 1st base, I'm going to smile at the first baseman. During the regular season, this is BAD FORM. But not today. Today we're GONNA HAVE SOME FUN.

As I approach home plate, I will resist the urge to SLIDE HEAD FIRST. If they didn't find it funny the first time, they for sure won't find it funny THE THIRD TIME.