Thanks.. didn't think the wsox name would give it away..

if that didn't work, there's always the Arlington Heights in your location

if that didn't work, there's always the Arlington Heights in your location

this thread is so very crapy

Why?

Because he doesnt have any?

get on AIM u no good sonofabitch!

I would but im on to about to pass the fuck out land.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

dead to me

Your sister is my brother.

impossible.

Musings From A Man Who Has Applied For The Job As CEO Of Siemens AG.

Submitting AN APPLICATION to be CEO for a multi-billion dollar company is not unlike applying for a job at McDonald’s. You just need to get your FOOT IN THE DOOR. That’s why I dabbed A LITTLE PERFUME on the paper. It was one of those FREE SAMPLES. That’s why it is LITTLE.

During my first interview I will probably be asked SOME QUESTIONS. To prepare for this, I have thought of SOME ANSWERS. My first answer will be, “That was A BAD NAME CHOICE for your company.”

If it is a woman interviewing me, I will say this WITH A WINK. If it’s a man, I hope it will not be UNCOMFORTABLE. My next answer will be, “Sexual harassment is no laughing matter.” That should PUT THEIR MINDS AT EASE.

You shouldn’t DISCUSS SALARY at your first interview, but I will MAKE AN EXCEPTION. They might balk at this BECAUSE OF THE PERFUME, but this will work in my favor. For you see, THAT PERFUME WAS FREE. This is yet another way I will save your company money. THAT AND MARKETING.

/
/?///we seees?

think abou tit.

I think about tits all the time.

Thats why my penis is stabbing the bottom of my desk RIGHT NOW!

Your sister is my brother.

Musings From A Man Who Would Like To Be In Charge Of The Next NASA Launch

If one of the astronauts fall out ON THE WAY UP, I don't think it will be TIME TO START PANICKING. If two fall out, I'll ask someone to CHECK THE MAIN HATCH. It's probably STILL OPEN.

That was my responsibility? Looks like I'm in some SERIOUS HOT WATER, once again.

If I forget where we're going, I'll be very vague in DIRECTING MY SUBORDINATES. Ok fellas, let's go a little bit higher, but not TOO HIGH. This seems JUST ABOUT RIGHT. I'll be taking off now. I've decided, just now, to take HALF A VACATION DAY.

If you jerk off too much does your penis have like a dull ache for a few days?

Yeah, me neither.

I don't know, but random erections at work make it hard to wonder over to the vending machine to grab a nice cold refreshing 20oz beverage.

Just let it fly and walk proud, saying, "DONT ACT LIKE YOUR NOT IMPRESSED."

Don’t blame me for punching you twice in the neck. Rather, blame RUTHLESS DETERMINISM. For the first one at least. THE SECOND ONE WAS ME.

Perhaps each one of us is nothing more than a vast array of neurons firing ESSENTIALLY AT RANDOM, causing our desires and illusions of purpose, and each day culminating with an unbridled desire for the for the SWEET SCOURGE OF DEATH.

Please give me back MY PANTS. My underwear doesn’t fit properly and EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT ME.

Maybe if there were any attractive women in the office I might GIVE THAT A SHOT, however the one attractive girl in my office isn't here because she just SPIT OUT A KID so obviously someone else found her attractive enough to FILL HER WITH SPERM. I could venture down to the vending machines on the other side of the building and maybe hope to run into an attractive lady from another department but that might be considered SEXUAL HARASSMENT. Not to mention that pushing the elevator buttons with my stiffened member doesn't seem like something that would IMPRESS THE WOMEN! I could be incorrect however maybe someone with MORE EXPERIENCE in this field can assist.

We're into recycling Mr Zimmerlin quotes, that's UNFORTUANTE FOR FCP as a whole. This thread really needs an original post from him to complete it's greatness.

Good call on the top floor thing, that happens to be where my office is located.

Now that I think about it, it might be more impressive to hit the button for the FIRST FLOOR. Because that button is at the top of the button panel.

We're into recycling Mr Zimmerlin quotes, that's UNFORTUANTE FOR FCP as a whole. This thread really needs an original post from him to complete it's greatness.

I enjoy symbolism and metaphor so much, I arrange my time schedule to allow for MAXIMUM ENJOYMENT.

I enjoy symbolism and metaphor so much, I will purposely READ NOVELS by authors who SHARE MY VIEW.

I enjoy symbolism and metaphor so much, everyday circumstances become INFUSED WITH MEANING, sometimes UNWARRANTED. This causes my peers to believe that I am MISINTERPRETING REALITY.

I enjoy symbolism and metaphor so much, I underestimate the importance of other LITERARY TECHNIQUES, to my own detriment. This self-awareness of my own weaknesses should lead me to strive to correct them, BUT IT DOES NOT.

I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.

I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.

WE do love that movie.

Oh yeah? Well, I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

Dead to me.
I was already told today that Im fat and unattractive. I was holding a knife at the time. I regret not using it.

Damn, why's it gotta be out of spite??
remind not to come to YOU guys anymore when Im having a bad day, sheesh.

If you remember correctly, I had sent you an offer to SIT ON MY FACE several months back. That offer still stands even though I REALLY HOPE YOU AREN'T FAT. Assuming that you look as I imagine, I would gladly let you RIDE THE FACE TRAIN. However, if you sitting on my face would cause me RESPIRATORY DISTRESS, I may have to RETRACT MY INVITATION.

Please note that having a fat booty DOES NOT COUNT AS BEING FAT. I am a man who appreciates a little JUNK IN THE TRUNK. I'm simply referring to rolls of stomach fat INTRUDING ON MY NASAL PASSAGES. You see, one needs to BREATHE THROUGH THE NOSE during face-riding, and stomach rolls over my nose MAY CAUSE ME TO PASS OUT.
My wallet is making me SIT SOMEWHAT LOPSIDED. This is not due to the EXTRAORDINARY AMOUNT OF MONEY within, but because of the large amount of DUNKIN DONUTS GIFT CERTIFICATES that I received as CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.

SIT ON MY FACE

If you remember correctly, I had sent you an offer to SIT ON MY FACE several months back. That offer still stands even though I REALLY HOPE YOU AREN'T FAT. Assuming that you look as I imagine, I would gladly let you RIDE THE FACE TRAIN. However, if you sitting on my face would cause me RESPIRATORY DISTRESS, I may have to RETRACT MY INVITATION.

Please note that having a fat booty DOES NOT COUNT AS BEING FAT. I am a man who appreciates a little JUNK IN THE TRUNK. I'm simply referring to rolls of stomach fat INTRUDING ON MY NASAL PASSAGES. You see, one needs to BREATHE THROUGH THE NOSE during face-riding, and stomach rolls over my nose MAY CAUSE ME TO PASS OUT.
My wallet is making me SIT SOMEWHAT LOPSIDED. This is not due to the EXTRAORDINARY AMOUNT OF MONEY within, but because of the large amount of DUNKIN DONUTS GIFT CERTIFICATES that I received as CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.

Since this is the crappy thread, I'm going to bump it each time I take a crap.

Ok?

Since this is the crappy thread, I'm going to bump it each time I take a crap.

Ok?

How was it?

You forgot a Zimmerlin quote.

If you remember correctly, I had sent you an offer to SIT ON MY FACE several months back. That offer still stands even though I REALLY HOPE YOU AREN'T FAT. Assuming that you look as I imagine, I would gladly let you RIDE THE FACE TRAIN. However, if you sitting on my face would cause me RESPIRATORY DISTRESS, I may have to RETRACT MY INVITATION.

Please note that having a fat booty DOES NOT COUNT AS BEING FAT. I am a man who appreciates a little JUNK IN THE TRUNK. I'm simply referring to rolls of stomach fat INTRUDING ON MY NASAL PASSAGES. You see, one needs to BREATHE THROUGH THE NOSE during face-riding, and stomach rolls over my nose MAY CAUSE ME TO PASS OUT.
My wallet is making me SIT SOMEWHAT LOPSIDED. This is not due to the EXTRAORDINARY AMOUNT OF MONEY within, but because of the large amount of DUNKIN DONUTS GIFT CERTIFICATES that I received as CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.

This is why I get hard in the morning.

Obviously.

Indeed.

I am NOT FAT. However, I DECLINE your invitation to munch on MY KITTEN because you HAD THE NERVE to even SUGGEST such an ABSURD NOTION.

YOU have lost ALL PRIVILEDGES to any of my pics.. past, present or FUTURE.

I hope your EYELIDS FALL OFF, so you will someday SEE MORE CLEARLY and that you NEVER make this same MISTAKE AGAIN!

Well YOU clearly aren't Mr. Zimmerlin.