Jesus



+ Has his name above the door.
+ Is the reason the day exists.
+ He is God. Literally.
+ Good at magic tricks.
+ Has a beard.
+ Offers path to heaven (if you live a good life)

- He is a zombie.
- Holier than thou attitude.
- Sends you to hell if you don't love him enough.
- Hasn't been seen or heard from in almost 2000 years.





Father Christmas



+ Brings joy to children's hearts.
+ Brings presents to millions of people.
+ Owns magic flying reindeer. I mean, how awesome is that?
+ Can handle his drink. Seriously.
+ Has a better beard than Jesus.
+ Has a catchphrase: "Ho Ho Ho"

- Runs sweat shop forcing midgets (marketed as elves to make it seem less cruel) to make toys all year round.
- Gives rich kids more presents than poor kids.
- Has fetish for kids sitting on his lap (paedophilic tendencies?).




Who do you think is better? Who is more important? Who would win in a fight?
These questions simply must be answered.




Oh, and Merry Christmas all.

Jesus is a zombie!!!!!!!!! ZOMG!!!!11!!!

C'MON PEOPLE!!!!!

I EVEN POST HERE!!!!

DO YOU SEE JESUS H. CHRIST AROUND HERE?

VOTE FOR THE JOLLY GUY!!!!

HO HO HO...

MERRRRRRYYYYY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

*paging the Jesus H. Christ account*

Get your holy ass in here!

Bear with me here. I just want to put you through this little exercise.




Okay, now see this? This is a four-way road, okay? And dead in the center, is a crisp, new, hundred dollar bill. Now at the end of each of the streets, are four people, okay? You following? Up here, we got a male-affectionate, easy-to-get-along-with, no political agenda lesbian. Okay? Now down here, we have a man-hating, angry-as-fuck, agenda-of-rage, bitter dyke. To this side, we got Santa Claus, right? And over to this side - Jesus. Which one's going to get to the hundred dollar bill first?... I'm serious. This is a serious exercise. It's like an S.A.T. question. Which one's going to get to the hundred dollar bill first - the male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating dyke, Santa Claus, or Jesus?

The man-hating dyke.

Good. Why?... BECAUSE THESE OTHER THREE ARE FIGMENTS OF YOUR FUCKING IMAGINATION!

I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying. Jadaki > God.

I love Josh, too, but credit for that post goes to Kevin Smith. It was apropos for this thread.









Jesus is God, therefore, Jesus wins. I'm a big fan of Santa, I mean, a big fan, but Jesus wins the battle hands down if he chooses to fight and not turn the other cheek in Jesus-fashion. I think Santa (being a Saint) doesn't fight. He concedes the fight to the Lord and then they have tea or something.

Is this a disguised good vs. evil questions.

Jesus = Son of God

Santa = anagram of Satan

It's actually not a battle. It's a showdown. And, the video is here

I never get tired of watching that.

Jesus H Christ, how the fuck am I losing 12-9. I swear to myself, if I lose this thing I'll smite you all, I swear I will.

I did have to 86 the easter bunny and add your personal savior.

Try it. I dare you.



Understandable. The Easter Bunny sucks after all.

Thank the Jews for this one

Jesus = WAY COOL

Santa = HAM

LMAO

I had to vote for you out of FEAR!!