As I awoke from my slumber, I felt a wave of joy clench around me. Even though I knew that Christmas comes everyday somewhere in the world, today was special, for today Christmas had come home. Or had it?? Looking at my calendar, I was shocked to see that there was no number 25, nor a spot where it used to be. "What had happened??" I respectfully asked myself as I shuddered at the events that had just taken place. I ran outside to see if the streets were teeming with laughter as one would expect, but alas, no sounds could be heard, not even the sound of my bluebird friend who consistently greeted each morning with an enchanting tune and a peck on the nose. Kids ruefully walked the streets, tears drenching the sidewalks only to freeze seconds later, thereby causing a relatively serious situation for these depressed children whose cerebellums had not yet fully formed as they fought a losing battle to gravity on this loathsome morning. And there in the distance I saw a sight as Evil Incarnate himself scurried away to the hills, taking Christmas with him and the hope of an entire generation. But what could I, just one man, do to remedy this crisis??

As this nightmare unfolded, I was shackled down to an island of grief which severed me from the eternal rainbow of joy that had fiercely gripped me since the day of my conception many years ago. I had seen condensed evil in his wry smile, and liquefied destruction in his loins. With nothing left to fight with but my soothing angelic voice, I summoned the courage which had stuffed itself deep into each orifice of my limp body and bellowed a mighty tune that sent his heart of darkness reeling. I too heard the song I had constructed, but was perplexed as I listened in. For there was not just one voice, but many. As I turned around I saw the vision before me that made my heart leap and dance, for my bluebird friend had returned along with a legion of his forest friends, all singing the same song in unison, each second fueling the fire of its heart and growing louder and more beautiful until it crescendoed into a sound that the Creator of the Universe himself constructed with his own wry smile, resonating into the heart of each man, woman, and child to tell them that Christmas was here, and that it would never leave again!! Oh what a marvelous moment, what a cacophony of cavernous delights!! And yet as my forest friends departed to go to their respective homes to celebrate this glorious day with their loved ones, I couldn't help but wonder: For who and for how long must I continue to sing?? As the teardrops formed in my eyes, I saw something dart across the sky. Recognizing the form, a hearty laugh emerged from my soul, for it was my bluebird friend flying away in the distance, back to his own home, to a land that no man has seen, but a land of jubilee nevertheless. Fly away my little friend, for though miles may separate us, our love holds us firmly together. Truly a Christmas day miracle!! This I truly and honestly believe. Wonderful!!

Marvelous!

Be mine this Christmass Clay...

lol

Wonderful!

I <3 CA.

lol. awesome, this line was gold.

Errors in the above post:

1) Dates are the same for everybody using a Gregorian calendar, and Christmas, with a few notable exceptions, falls on Dec. 25. Thus it is not Christmas everyday somewhere in the world, a completely ridiculous suggestion.

2) It is generally accepted within the scientific community that it is impossible to "steal time", let alone a whole day. You'll have to be more clear though, did Evil Incarnate physically grab the time and run away, or what? He ran to the hills, can you explain why? If he has the power to steal time, presumably he doesn't really need to hide, does he?

3) "liquefied destruction in his loins". Oh boy. Not really sure what to say there.

4) How did the bluebird's forest friends know the song which you apparently had just constructed then and there? You mention something about the Creator of the Universe having something to do with it with his "wry smile", but honestly this part of the story is a bit confusing to me. I'm not saying it's impossible, but definitely needs some explaining.

If you can clear any of these points up, that would be fantastic. Thanks Clay.

RodReynolds steals thunder? say it isnt so

RR and Clay Aiken in the same thread!
My Christmas wish has been granted!

I Clay Aiken.

Anyone ever note any similarity between Clay's writing and Daniel's, when he has written satirically? Just sayin'.

<3 always Clay!!!

Mark

No.

All I want for Christmas is Clay Aiken

"Oh what a marvelous moment, what a cacophony of cavernous delights!!"


This describes the feeling I get after every CA post I read.

WONDERFUL!





so freakin awesome

I get a chubby just reading that stuff.

...lol

as the tear rolls down from my watery eye.. nah ill leave it to clay


lol

<3

Clay Aiken viewed my profile once. <3 Clay, great post.

Excellent.

it's 'teeming'...JS

5 commas in that sentence. I believe that's a new record.

Could you be any more jealous of Clay's awesomeosity?

Man, I love Clay. Amazingly, I might love Rod even more.

I'm not sure it's physically...or perhaps mentally...possible for RR to be jealous of CA. That's like me being jealous of Matt_Damon's rapist's wit.

who is Clay Aiken?

I know.



Thats a pretty deep question. I feel only Clay can tell us WHO Clay really is.

fyp

As Clay’s PR guy, I think I can clarify a few of these points.

1) Christmas isn’t just a day on the calendar; it’s a feeling of love, family, and joy that radiates through the mind, body, and spirit. Clay has that feeling everyday and he attempts to spread this “Christmas” cheer throughout the world. In fact, if you check out his website you can download some Christmas spirit or find out when his Christmas spirit will be visiting your town. So you see, Clay does bring Christmas to some part of the world everyday of the year. December 25th is when Christmas returns the favor to him.

2) When Clay explains that Evil Incarnate has stolen Christmas, he is again talking about the spirit of Christmas. The season has become a time of packed shopping malls, fighting for parking spots, credit card bills, and travel delays. Christmas has become a burden. The idea of Evil Incarnate scurrying to the hills is merely symbolic. Clay could “see” what was happening to Christmas and for him to chase after his memories of such joyous Christmases in the past would be an uphill climb. Instead of chasing after the evil that stole Christmas, he would instead summon Christmas to him!

3) Clay takes some poetic license when describing evil.

4) All of Clay’s music is inspired, but the origin of his inspiration is not always abundantly clear. Clay listens to his heart and he listens to all that surrounds him and he captures it all with his melodic voice. When Clay says the forest friends sang the song with him, he is saying that this Christmas spirit is within all of us and Clay’s music will be the beacon for that spirit to find its way out.

I hope this helps, Rod.

Wonderful!

I guess I was taking too much of a literalist approach, or perhaps just imposing my own personal epistemology on the text. You've definitely illuminated my understanding of Clay and his life's work and how this glorious man thinks, feels, acts and reacts to collage of experiences that life has thrown at him. And the fact that he's put the Christmas spirit onto his website, available for download, is simply marvelous. Marvelous.

But still, five commas, in one sentence, is way too many, I do believe, agreed?

Since it is somewhat related to this thread, could you confirm, deny, or avoid my post, which was in response to the bump, in this thread?

Oh yeah, I meant to ask you this when I first saw your post there: I don't get it.

I guess I'm not really asking you something so much as I'm stating my confusion. Some might say it is implied that I am asking for an explanation, but I feel like that's adding too many levels of confusion.

So let me rephrase: what did you mean by that?

Truths:

1. Rod Reynolds has a time machine.
2. Rod Reynolds has traveled in time.
3. Rod Reynolds is jealous of Clay Aiken.
4. I am awesome (But that's not important at the moment).


Possibilities:

1. Rod Reynolds traveled in time to sometime after that guy with the freaky avatar bumped the girlfriend thread in general poker by quoting a Clay Aiken Post. Rod Reynolds saw this and obviously was very jealous. He's the jealous type.

What we don't know is if this is the original source of Rod's jealousy or perhaps just further fueled his jealous rage.

Also, we wonder why there is not a second statement under possibilities. First of all, I used the plural possibilities instead of the singular possibility. Secondly, if you're going to have the number one, then you should at least have a number two. Otherwise, there's really no need for that first number. Unless it's a telephone number.

Truths:

1. I do have a time machine, I use it sparingly and only for good.
2. I am of course jealous of Clay Aiken, who wouldn't be? His smile is angelic.
3. Despite these two truths, I am honestly very confused as to what you are trying to say. I am considering withdrawing my approval of you.

I'm just saying that because you have a time machine, it's entirely possible that the bump by SpiderGuard may have been the source of your Clay Aiken jealousy.


edit: If I had a time machine, I'd use it to make predictions. Mostly predictions about WSOP winners.

I see, now I'm following, "being of average intellect so I can follow basic statements" is not really my "strong suit". Now that I think about it though, I did travel to early morning Dec. 26 sometime on the 23rd (I had some shopping to do that day, and I needed to know what the future me had received for Christmas so my gifts for them wouldn't be ridiculous. Then I saw the receipts of the gifts I had bought for people and so I just bought those things), and I may have checked the forums, I honestly don't remember. When I got back a hatred for Clay was consuming me, but a hatred for Clay usually consumes me.



I always do that!

Also, my future self has taken to warning my past self of future calamities, which is nice too. It doesn't really help the present me at all, but it's nice to see them looking out for each other.

RodReynolds is a poker forum God.

That is all.