If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you follow these instructions:

1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.

2. Remove your laptop.

3. Start it up.

4. Make sure the guy who is annoying you can see the screen.

5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky, and move your lips like you are praying

6. Then hit this link

ha

and then have a Air Marshall kick your ass before he figures out the joke

They cheat you out of the last second on that site. And when it's your last second, it's pretty important.

Get a new clock, ALLAH!

I once sat in between two 300 pound women who were friends - they knew that they were two fat to sit next to each other so they left an empty seat between them for me and they talked to each other through me the whole trip which was a red eye

brag post?

they showed a dubbed version of Hoffa I heard the word mothercracker about 800 times the whole flight was a nightmare

did you have a sudden craving for hotdogs or booby secks?

lol mothercracker!

last time I flew from LA to Boston I had a woman who looked like Susan Powder and probably shoved an 8 ball into her sinus cavity before getting on the plane. I was trying to sleep and she didn't stop bouncing around for one second of the flight.

Crush their throats until their breath oozes out and they can smell popcorn.

haha

They're pretty much all annoying.

Seriously.

lmao

well done

I sat in between two lengerei models on my flight over to Australia from South Africa. Then on my connecting flight to New Zealand, I sat by myself. How sad.

I would have been arrested at the end of the flight. No joke.

I've only ever sat by one hot chick on a plane. I was on my way to see a long-distance-relationship girlfriend, but the hot chick and I were getting along pretty well, so I told her I was going to see some buddies. It wasn't going well with the LD GF and OBV not opposed to looking around, and very excited about meeting the hot chick. Got her number, went out to dinner with the LD GF and first person I see, NS, is the hot chick from the airplane.

Hundreds of flights. One hot chick. Got the number. Ran bad.

Of all the gin joints...

http://www.fullcontactpoker.com/poker-foru...howtopic=113941

JS

It's a shame internet doesn't work on airplanes because that is funny.

You see.. that's where you've gone wrong. Thinking too negatively! Something could have been wangled here, surely

You saw that as a bad turn of events... whereas *threesome* *3some* *3wayftw!* should have been going off in your mind, dude. Obv tell the LD girlfriend that you need to spice things up, and well, the airplane chick has already basically told you she's up for it by giving her number to a stranger. I say missed opportuniity!

you realize that knowing two women who are in the same vicinity doesn't immediately mean the possibility of a threesome, right?

They said I was cute cause I was flirting the whole time. 16 hour flight gentlemen.

Towards the end the blonde one was like, "Sorry sweety, you're not getting laid.*lol*"
"Oh come on!"
"Nah. "
"For phuck's sake!"

Then the other one went to the bathroom and the blonde followed 5minutes later. NS, she even blew me a kiss as she walked away.

Models=
Me=

if you'd followed 5 minutes later she would have blown more than a kiss.

Only enough space for two in the cubicles.

It's either Pilot/Co-Pilot or Solo

I guess you're right, there's always the possibility that they're strictly lesbians and will only let you watch.

this is why they created the camera phone.

The more I read, the more I like the hijack!!!

Many times, after having been chasing both, I've found that it can lead to a onesome.

Women just don't understand.

god damn bunch of prudes, they are

clearly you are in the vicinity of the wrong women.

Can we re-nickname you dreamcrusher. You just decreased my metal chance of having a manage o three by 96.873%

Either you are the most depressing person ever, or you truely have the worst life of anyone on these forums.

Has there ever been a Keith crime, "I had a great day today" thread or post even?

When I was 12 I fell asleep on the plane and woke up drooling on the lady next to me's shoulder. I was pissed off at myself.

My last flight was a nightmare on so many levels.

1st I made the mistake of getting on first. When they announce first class passengers, you should wait, but my wife wanted to hurry up. Normally I sit by the window to look down at the midwest, but this time I ended up in the aisle.

So now here comes the coach passengers, all 5 million of them. I must have had my champagne arm bumped 10 times. I don't even drink champagne, but I like to have a glass full of the bubbly just in case Phil Helmuth is on the flight, so we can talk about how much better Dom is than this rot gut they serve. So now I have spilled at least 4 full glasses, the poor stewardess couldn't reach me to refill it a couple times cause of the human tide. And by poor, I do not know for a fact she is poor, but I kind of expected it to be true the way she cut her hair and the make up she used. Don't want you to get the wrong idea that I am judgemental

So finally we get airborne, and I have to go to the bathroom, but I CAN't because some idiot in coach thought that the curtain was for looks, not to remind them that their bathroom is in the back. So I had to wait like 2-3 minutes of sheer agony, but I didn't want to make a scene, but I made a note to find a suggestion box and mention a locking folding door instead of a curtain.

I cut my finger on the 5th or 7th bag of peanuts, and had an awful steak and lobster meal. At least the banana's flambe helped ease the pain of an overcooked steak.

I was really upset that they did not increase the pressurization in first class, so I had the same jet lag as the schmuck that paid $600 for a ticket.

Last time I fly without my lawyer.