This guys been doing these really cool illustrations of Mitch Hedberg jokes I put a bunch on my site

Mitch Art

when you put them that way, they don't do him justcie at all. His delivery is what makes those 1 liners so funny, writting them down is lame.

Yeah, you instantly think of his voice and delivery, even when you see it written down. He was a one-of-a-kind talent. It's a shame what happened to him.

yeah I can hear him doing them in my head - so I think it's a cool tribute

Escalators can't be out of service, they can only just become stairs. They should put up a sign that says "temporarily stairs. Sorry for th e convenience".

el oh el

I like it.

how do you feel about frilly toothpicks?

qft

I'm for em.

The Club Sandwich bit is one of my favorites.

I hurt all over when Mitch passed. Truly a comic genius.

"When I think of something funny I write it down, and if I don't have a pen or the pen is to far away I have to convince myself that what I thought about, aint funny."

"I hate when I am talking to somebody and they can't hear me so they say"What?" so I say it again,and they say"What?" but really it's just some insignificant shit that I am saying,but now I am yelling,"That tree is far away!"

He was brilliant at taking the mundane shit we do everyday and putting the funny into it.

to hell with purple...unless they're suffocating

"In England Smoky the Bear is not the forest fire prevention representative. They have Smacky the Frog. It's just like a bear, but it's a frog. I think it's a better system, I think we should adopt it. Because bears can be mean, but frogs are always cool. Never has there been a frog hopping toward me, and I thought 'man, I'd better play dead. Here comes that frog...' You never say here comes that frog in a nervous manner. It's always optimistic. Hey here comes that frog, al-right. Maybe he'll come near me so I can pet him, and stick him in a mayonnaise jar, with a stick and a leaf, to recreate what he's used to. And I'm pretty sure I'd have to punch some holes in the lid, because he's damn sure used to air. Then I can observe him, and he won't be doing much in his 16 ounce world."

"Xylophone is spelled with an X. It should be a Z. Xylophone ZZZ X, I don’t ****ing see it. Next time you spell Xylophone, spell it with a Z. If someone tells you you’re wrong, say “No, I aint.” If you think that that’s wrong then you need to get your head Z-Rayed. It’s like X didn’t have enough to do so they had to promise it more. “Okay, you won’t start a lot of words, but you will have a co-starring role in Tic-Tac-Toe. And you will be equated with hugs and kisses. And you will mark the spot. And you will make writing ‘Christmas’ easier. And you will incidentally start ‘xylophone.’ Are you happy now, you ****ing X?”

"If you jump out of the 14th floor trying to kill yourself you will die earlier."

Steven Wright vs. Mitch Hedberg

Discuss

Mitch>Steven AINEC

/discussion

agreed

Alcoholism, is a disease, but it's the only disease that you can get yelled at for having. Dammit Otto, you're an alcoholic. Dammit Otto, you have Lupis. One of those two doesn't sound right.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

I played golf....I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy and that's way more satisfying. Your supposed to yell FORE, but I was too busy mumbling that ain't no way that's gonna hit him

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

My friend said to me "You know what I like? Mashed poatoes" I was like, Dude, you gotta give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me, you must put a pause in there.

I was walking down the street with my friend and he said "I hear music" As though there's another way you can take it in. You're not special. That's how I recieve it too. I tried to taste it, but it did not work.

One time a guy handed me a picture of himself and he said. "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. Here's a picture of me when I'm older. How'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera.

I was walking by a drycleaner at 3a.m. and there was a sign that said Sorry, we're closed. You don't have to be sorry. It's 3a.m. and you're a drycleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna come by at 10 and say, hey I was here at 3a.m and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology.

I brought a donut and the guy gave me a recieipt for the donut. I don't need a receipt for the donut, I give you the money, you give me the donut, end of transaction. We do not need to bring ink and paper into this. I can not imagine the senerio where I would have to prove that I brought a donut. Some skeptical friend? Don't even act like I didn't get that donut. I got the documentation right here; oh wait, its at home, in the file, under "D" ... for donut

I disagree. They are really sort of the same comic, just with different delivery. They are both hilarious. If I had to pick one of them to go see (not that this is a choice anymore)....... hmmmm, I don't think I could decide. Maybe Steven Wright, because there is less swearing.

Or maybe Mitch, because I've seen Wright. I laughed so hard my sides hurt at Wright. I think Hedberg would be the same.

I didn't say Steven Wright wasn't funny, I just believe that Mitch Hedberg is funnier. And please don't say they are the same comic with different deliveries, they are similar, but not the same.

It is so simple it is genius. Hedberg is great too and definitely a fan of Wright's.

I wonder if Hedberg stuck around if he would have ever been thrown in some primetime sitcom. Would have been interesting.

Mitch on That '70s show

he had a development deal but they could never find anything to do with him

there it is