I watched a play at the end of a Vikings game where a ref announced that the Vikings challenging a fumble wasn't a challangable play. This, after the announcers went on forever about how they had to challenge it.

I dunno, maybe the refs screwed up, but that was only like 2-3 weeks ago.

Sadly, UTG had about what I thought he had...9d6d.

NICE CALL!!

Full Tilt No-Limit Hold'em, $0.10 BB (6 handed) Full Tilt Converter Tool from FlopTurnRiver.com (Format: ITH Forums)

UTG ($5.95)
MP ($8.95)
CO ($12.35)
Button ($9.85)
SB ($10.50)
Hero ($10)

Preflop: Hero is BB with , .
1 fold, MP calls $0.10, 2 folds, SB completes, Hero checks.

Flop: ($0.30) , , (3 players)
SB checks, Hero bets $0.3, MP calls $0.30, SB folds.

Turn: ($0.90) (2 players)
Hero bets $0.5, MP calls $0.50.

River: ($1.90) (2 players)
Hero bets $1.2, MP calls $1.20.

Final Pot: $4.30

Results in white below:
Hero has Qc Kd (two pair, kings and sixes).
MP has 2s 2c (two pair, sixes and threes).
Outcome: Hero wins $4.30.

at training for the rest of the week, god this is boring, we just spent 20 minutes on how to login to your computer.

FYP


and... yes... that kind of stuff makes you suicidal.

"enter your user name here."
"enter your password here."

Done.

what does case sensitive mean?

You think this is bad... try spending 6 months creating a software system the users designed (and changed 30 times), then you have to teach them how to use it... then they complain the process and layout they asked for is confusing...

Trainer: your password needs to be alphanumeric.

idiot: alpha-what?

Trainer: a letter and a number.

idiot: wait what?

20 minutes later

idiot: I don't get it


sigh

These are actual quotes taken from Federal Government employee performance evaluations.

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this employee to breed.

3. This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be.

4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

5. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.

6. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

7. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

8. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

9. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.

10. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

11. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

12. He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.

13. He's been working with glue too much.

14. He would argue with a signpost.

15. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.

16. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell..

17. If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.

18. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

19. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

20. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.

21. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

22. He's got two brain cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

23. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

24. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

25. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

26. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

27. One neuron short of a synapse.

28. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.

29. Takes him 2 hours to watch "60 Minutes".

30. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.


number 11 is my favorite.

Better:
Trainer: make a password
Idiot: it doesn't work
Trainer: put a "1" at the end of it
Idiot: OK, it works now

I don't remember working for the government...

nice, a lot of those are pretty good. Except that a couple are stolen "your mom" jokes.

are you suggesting that an email chain is anything but 100% accurate??? You are going to get doom switched for doubting the interweb.

djfkasljsdkjnvioenqij

Speaking of idiots and email chains...

So I do a video demo of how to go through the process with sticky notes with arrow pointing to every action (click or keyboard press) they have to take...

Then they wanted to "print" a copy, so I went through and took every frame with a note and made a pdf file.

Then in the email chain... twice, requested ME to print a copy, claiming they couldn't print it. I ignored the first one, then they asked again... instead of saying "I'm NOT ****ING KINKOS" I just replied with a screen shot of the document properties with a red box around "Security: None" and another around "Printing: Allowed"

I swear if they ask again I'm going to do a vid demo of how open the PDF and go to file->print

my doom switch is broken in the on position. I've barely played the last few months anyway.

for all the republicans out there

A man walked into a very high-tech restaurant in a fancy hotel. As he
waited to be seated, he noticed that the Maitre D' was a robot.
The robot clicked to attention and said, "Sir, there is a one hour
wait. I
am programmed to converse with you until a table is ready, If you
please."
Intrigued, the man said, "OK."
The robot clicked a couple more times and then asked, "Sir, what is
your
IQ?"
The man answered, "Oh, about 164."
The robot then proceeded to discuss the theory of relativity,
Interstellar
space travel, the latest medical breakthroughs, etc.
The man was most impressed.
The next day he returned, But thought he would try a different tack.
The robot again asked, "What is your IQ, sir?" This time the man
answered,
"Oh, about 100".
So the robot started discussing NASCAR racing , the latest basketball
scores, and what to expect the Red Sox to do this weekend.
The guy had to try it one more time. So the next day he returned.
Again the robot asked the question, "What is your IQ?"
This time the man drawled out, " Uh.....'bout 50."
The robot clicked, then leaned close and very slowly asked,
"A-r-e
y-o-u-r
p-e-o-p-l-e
g-o-i-n-g
t-o
n-o-m-i-n-a-t-e
H-i-l-l-a-r-y?"

BURN!

ZOMG so hungover. I have already taken 5 shits today.

Game was amazing. I loved the rain. Place was electric.

what a great game to go see, Did you stay home sick today or are you bored at work?

fck i'm at work and hurting sooooooo bad. half dayaments maybe. so busy though.

hey the juice starts on ur $10 tomorrow at 1 pt a day

yeah my best friend had his birthday party last night I didn't even get to my computer. Will ship tonight. I am dying as well.


You too MTN.

A MNF game is a very cool experience.



Halfdayaments definitely.



No hurry. I like the $1 a day juice.

you not working @ B&W anymore???







drinking on a monday FTW! I had to get up @ 5am yet I still thought it would be a good idea to drink 8 mojitos...

still there, they just got around to training me (I have been here since mid august for those not in the know)

2 more hours on HMO's and managed care then I can go watch HSP and smoke.

best day of the week.

someone post something interesting PLLLLEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEE

Butterflies taste with their feet.

your always there when I need you Krup.... how you feelin? 3 mtn dews and some sweet potato french fries and I am almost human.

I sweet potato fries.

the only good way to eat sweet potatoes....


actually the pie is good.

How'd you know my mother's name was Potato?

Pretty much the tastiest way to eat almost 80% of all foods is to throw it in a pot of boiling oil and salt it when it comes out and dip it in ranch dressing.

your dad?

i'm freaking hurtn. went to buy some immodium-ad so i no longer have the runs. i haven't eatn a speckle of food except sunflower seeds (quit smoking). i am gettn hungary so i'm gonna get a spicy chix with 2 slices of cheese on my way home. i can't believe i made it through work today. saving that towp gonna be off 2/3 of december.

SUCCEED

Hey fellers.

Did you mean something interesting like this: http://www.meteor.iastate.edu/gccourse/iss...a/ogallala.html ?

Or did you mean something interesting like this: http://youtube.com/watch?v=IiV1T6X57t0 ?

thanks I am going to read about ground water tomorrow.

Found some people willing to give me all their money.

1. Always post this makes you look like a donkey and keeps the doom switch off on Pokerstars because you are making them more rake.

Exhibit A: When a super agro guy checks to you on the flop be wary

Poker Stars
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.25/$0.50
6 players
Converter

Stack sizes:
UTG: $132.40
Hero: $50
CO: $230.60
Button: $95.45
SB: $74.65
BB: $50

Pre-flop: (6 players) Hero is UTG+1 with 9 T
UTG raises to $2, Hero calls, 4 folds.

Flop: J 6 8 ($4.75, 2 players)
UTG checks, Hero checks.

Turn: 7 ($4.75, 2 players)
UTG checks, Hero bets $3, UTG calls.

River: 2 ($10.75, 2 players)
UTG checks, Hero bets $7, UTG raises to $30, Hero raises all-in $45, UTG calls.

Results:
Final pot: $100.75
Hero showed 9s Th
UTG mucks Kh Ks


Exhibit B:

Sometimes when you can't beat anything against an aggro donkey you still have to call.

Poker Stars
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.25/$0.50
5 players
Converter

Stack sizes:
UTG: $94.70
CO: $72.40
Button: $48.25
SB: $86.95
Hero: $97

Pre-flop: (5 players) Hero is BB with T T
3 folds, SB raises to $1, Hero raises to $3, SB calls.

Flop: 6 Q 7 ($6, 2 players)
SB bets $2.5, Hero calls.

Turn: 2 ($11, 2 players)
SB bets $2.5, Hero calls.

River: A ($16, 2 players)
SB bets $6, Hero calls.

Results:
Final pot: $28
SB showed 3c Kd
Hero showed Ts Td




Brag he shipped me $200 in 30 minutes.

ended up losing two buyins back. Hows everyone doing today?

hey DS, how ya been?

feel great today, very well rested. i took some advil pm and like 7:30 and passed out at like 8:00. didn't wake up once during the nite i needed it. also advil pm liquigels are the shiznit.

as for pokah. i started off cold decked yesterday and dumped two buyins real quick then mucked and grinded. 2 hrs later i was down 6 bucks and called it a nite. i absolutely despise starting a session with losing 2 buyins in say 15 hands.

LOL, would you prefer what I did?

Start the session up 2 buyins in 15 hands then slowly draining that profit into a loss?

Thank God for heads up SNG's. People play with their freaking cards face up in those I swear.

actually i would. when i get up quickly like that i almost always finish with a winning session. it does something to me mentally where i play better ABC pokah. when i get down quickly i tend to play marginal cards in marginal situations and when you do that on 6 tables 2 buyins turns to 3 real quick.

so how long did you play before you all felt confident in your game? I'm curious to see what, if any, is the ramp up time to playing good/profitable.


how much time do you spend playing poker as well? online or live

okay so I've got some time in front of me...and here I thought it was just like the movies where I'm just automatically awesome.

on a serious note, I get my stock option buyout on Friday - so psyched to have the extra $. We need to play heads up again soon if you want any of it haha

Played a year live screwin around with friends before I ever took the interwebz poker seriously.

Got myself a nice BR to start with a few years ago from this old thing called the CPC that they don't run anymore, but was sponsored by Lou Krieger... (qualified in a sat, won a sat for some extra small prize pool $, Placed ITM in the semi final, and placed ITM in the finals as well. Then eventually busted that BR because I was too noobish to understand the concept of BR management.

Didn't do much of anything cept live tourney play and occasional nights at the casino for 2 and a half years after that, usually being one of the better if not best at the table, but didn't really track anything.

Then one night back in late August i fked around bored and cashed in a Bodog freeroll... and just kind of ran with that $2 BR and been seeing how far I can take it. I'd say jumping between $25NL and $50NL after 3 months and a $600 cashout has started to make me pretty confident.

So, short answer, 5 years and ~30hours a week.

This took a while for me. Initally i was confident when I first started out playing. I was very skilled in math and poker was math to me. I always felt better than the other players especially live. I had minor success at first but I went broke online about 15-20 times.

I first played on party and ran 200 to 1K really really quickly. I didn't post here just played. Had no clue there was a such thing as variance or BR management. I was sitting at 5/10 NL SH and went broke really quickly. Redeposited $100 and lost it quickly playing 0.25/0.5. This cycle happened a few more times.

I move to stars and same thing. Deposited $100, $50, $100 etc. Would run it up or go broke really quickly. I joined here in 2005 and leared BR management, variance, strategy, read several books and watched a ton of poker on TV.

To this day I don't know if I truly feel confident cause sometimes i play like a retard. But now i'm suffiently rolled and supplement that with bets with Nate. To make a long story short it took at least 2-3 yrs to feel comfortable but I'm still trying to become confident.




played a ton live at first but now i probably play < 10 hrs a month

online i play when I can basically evenings and weekends or when the wife is out probably around 30 hrs a week

I am getting trained on a software program for the 3rd time now. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

any more interesting facts anyone? Krup I am l looking at you.