Thought I'd share a little pet peeve of mine. Taken from my blog (http://www.ryanprice.ca/blog/old-men-in-locker-rooms/)

Although I, along with Hal Johnson and Joanne McLeod, congratulate all you elderly men on trying to stay fit into your twilight years I do have one small request. Put your penises away.

I’ve recently noticed that no matter what time I manage to get to the gym there is always at least one old naked guy. Always. For a while I thought it might be my fault. I always went to the gym at the same time, and plus, they were there first. Perhaps I’m intruding on old man happy hour, I don’t know.

So I tried varying my schedule to accommodate the apparent need for old men to congregate together in the nude. It didn’t work. They’re always there. Sometimes the same ones, sometimes different. I have a theory.

The way I figure it, long ago some dude had his towel stolen. So he sought out others who had their towels stolen and formed a support group. I believe they call themselves “Men who had their towels stolen and decided to walk around naked until somebody gives them back.”

Little did they know it would take over 50 years to get the message across.

So if you stole their towels, please give them back, because I’m tired of getting the weather report from a nude old man standing beside me resting his elbow on the knee of the leg he has propped up on the bench.

Now, these men do lead lives outside of towel-less naked ones. I believe they’ve set up a system to ensure that there’s at least one in the locker room at all times. Likely using punch cards and 2 hour shifts. When one starts getting dressed another is undressing to begin the zombie-like roaming of the locker room in search of their stolen towels.

If you happen to be an old naked guy, but have not lost your towel then I implore you to be naked only when absolutely necessary. I’ve put together a small chart that you can print off and put up in your lockers should you feel you might forget.

Acceptable

* In the shower
* Drying yourself after a shower
* Getting dressed. Note: Underwear is to be put on first.

Not Acceptable

* Taking a piss
* Combing you hair. Especially when you have a perfectly good towel thrown over your shoulder
* Standing around chatting about wrinkly skin and the latest developments in prune farming
* Any other time not listed as Acceptable

I work out 6 days a week at the Y. These are the bad times I've seen old men naked:

- brushing teeth

- using hand dryer 3 ft off the ground to dry remaining hair
(particularly nasty from the "wrong" angle)

- shaving (DO IT AT HOME)

- brushing teeth (yeah, it bears repeating)

- to and from anywhere in (or outside of) the locker room

- trying to figure out tricky $3 combination lock

- sex/viagra discussions
(PS: this, unfortunately, happened in my presence)
(PPS: apparently, a sufficient dose of Viagra can make
it "hard eoungh to chop wood")
(PPPS: of course I'm interested in Viagra, now ... how
can I NOT be?)

- in the steam room (just drape a towel over your privates)

The great thing about old men is that they could read this message...or you could even complain in person...and they still wouldn't give a shit and would proceed to stay naked for as long as possible.

I'm not the kind of guy to be one-upped. You can frequently find me doing kegels, hanging weights from my junk, or doing naked cartwheels at my local gym. Sometimes I open my locker combination with a stiffy.

QFT.

TTIWWP