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The Opulent Gentleman

Member Since 30 Oct 2007
Offline Last Active Today, 01:20 PM
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Topics I've Started

The Sick Thread - Poetry Edition

24 May 2017 - 11:24 AM

So I told my boss I had to stay home
because I was having some plummers come and fix

my apartment.


I would have said I was sick, but I exausted that excuse

last month.


Anyway, long story short,
I'm being useless from home today.
Come celebrate my

laziness

in with me!

I'll be watching tv in my underwear.

Right now I'm watching this infomercial for the Magic Bullet.
Anybody else seen this thing?
It's amazing!

Edit:

I think I should let you all know that I'm not wearing a shirt

or

pants

today.

Just putting it out

there.

Interesting Hand

06 January 2017 - 01:23 PM

I'm in big blind, dealt AQ off. 6 handed I guess. Cut off raises his youngest child. I already have too many damn kids, I don't want or need another. I think he'll throw in a bbq if I reraise though, and I have 3 fresh trout that I need to cook before they go rancid. Before I do it though, existential dread or something like it overtakes me, and I begin to hear voices, ostensibly demons from the VOID, but more likely it's the aftermath of years of rampant drug abuse. I call the clock on myself. Friends tell me there is no clock, it's just a fun home game, but not even that, we've been playing euchre the whole time. Still, I call, and somehow win the bbq. Problem is that it wasn't put together, and I'm no good with tools. Anybody in the tri-state area willing to come over and help? You can half a rancid trout, on me.