Today, 2:58 PM
Join Date: Dec 2016
I've got a serious dilemma...
I have been into poker cashgames and MTTs since a few months, I used to play hold'em with playchips, but that was years ago. I wasn't taking it very serious, but the game suited me well, and I wanted to try it with real money at some point... Took a few years until I really got back into poker, and 4months ago I finally started...
I was succesful in some MTTs, and won 8 of those in a pretty short time. I mainly focused on cashgames though, which seem to suit me a lot more, I realised some time later... Started playing cashgames on a bitcoin poker site (Betcoin), read a good review about it and gave it a try with my very first deposit. Quite some gamblers/fish on there so that helped to make some profit already... I played on 2 other poker providers, one of the few sites only that are legal in my country (Belgium). I got better and more refined in the game as I played cashgames. Since some time I also multi-table which worked well too.
I did loose some money, but got better along the way, more insight into the game etc, so that motivated me to continue...
But now my problem:
I was able to make really nice profits in a short time, like I started with 10$ buy-in in a room, and in the same room I went up to almost 100$, playing some hours. That convinced me I could really make good money with poker, and the possibilities had to be even much better than this, since I was still playing at really low stakes... But the problem was I seemed to loose a lot of that money in the end... Did I play too loose or overconfident when I got a big stack? Was I lucky and did I think I was already that great because I made great profit, and kept on making mistakes, after those upswings?
I think it's a combination of all those things...
But the surprising (or not surprising) thing was that this pattern seemed to repeat itself later on, in a very similar way. I won a lot in a period like a day, but lost it again sooner or later, and offcourse that frustrated me...
AT some point I made more than 300euros in a day, and that really gave me wings... I was convinced that I could be a professional poker player, and the possibilities had to be much greater than this, in the end...
But even then I couldn't continue and keep those good results day after day... I didn't want to give up and I started again on the bitcoin site, playing up to 3 tables at a time, and they offer a nice VIP system with rakeback.
It did seem to going better than before, even with some downswings.
At times I did get mad and frustrated on bad beats and bad luck, cuz I thought I was so unlucky at times (I do have similar problems in life in general). But I still wanted to continue, thinking I also learned out of the hands that went wrong...
But so to cut my story short: I would love to be a professional poker player, I really like the game... For example the strategic thinking, the learning and evolving, the fact that you can play it from wherever you live, at any time. That you are not dependant on other people or a boss, etc... I feel like I really need it, to give me the (financial) freedom I'm looking for in life. I do have an income now, so in theory I don't need the money... I don't have a job though, and a "regular job" is just not an option for me (anymore). I was so euphoric when my earnings began to be really good playing cash games, and at another time when it went bad, I cried of pure sadness...
I don't want to give up that dream yet, thinking I really have the talent for this game, and already proven that I can do it, despite the losses...
But I can't deny that it's not really good for me if bad beats do get me mad, and my play might suffer under that too. Or the financial losses if I couldn't get my earnings and positive balance stable... In my opinion it's easier to find that balance though when you play games, rather than tournaments. I also feel that there is more luck involved in tournaments...
I do think the only way to find out for sure is maybe to give it once last chance, and do my very best to get it going... I gave myself a period of at least a few weeks now to consider, what the best thing is to do, because this is really a difficult situation for me. So I stopped playing for now...
It's quite important to me because if I could be a poker pro, it could really give me the life I want... That I can live independent (now living with my parents still), build something up and have the money in life to make plans etc... (Now I just have a limited income). Thats why I don't want to give up that quickly, but maybe you guys have a different opinion. At this moment I just wouldn't know what else to do if I had to forget about poker. So only if I'd see it really is not for me, or does not work out, I'd stop...
I'm also thinking, if poker is not for me, what do these pros have or can do what I could not? That might sound a bit arrogant, but I really believe I have all the skills to be a great player... I might not have nerves of steel, and I do have my flaws, but so does everyone, I think.
All ideas, advice or inspiration is appreciated!
Lieutenant_OH7Member Since 06 Mar 2017
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