66 replies to this topic

[loogie]

On March 27, I'll be in Minneapolis at the Acme Comedy Club giving the judges my "best two minutes".

I will now open the floor to any suggestions on my strategy, joke submissions, odds of me making it past the first audition, clothing choices, and any other comments you feel like volunteering.

[zimmer4141]

From what I've seen, in the short audition they look for quality material and something that would distinguish yourself from everybody else. Not like weird distinguished, but something that would make you different from every observational comic.

[Shimmering Wang]

On March 27, I'll be in Minneapolis at the Acme Comedy Club giving the judges my "best two minutes".

I will now open the floor to any suggestions on my strategy, joke submissions, odds of me making it past the first audition, clothing choices, and any other comments you feel like volunteering.

What kind of comedy do you do? Post some of your stuff so I can read it, and then realize how hard standup is.

[RodReynolds]

As long as you consistently and aggressively maintain that you are in opposition to most forms of disease and pestilence, I think you'll do just fine. No judge is going to kick the guy out who hates disease and pestilence more than him. Of this I'm fairly certain.

For example, I'd open with this joke: "Who really hates cancer?" Follow this with 30 seconds of silence, and then say, "cause I sure do!"

That's the joke.

I have no idea what I'm saying anymore.

[tobytobey]

Here's an idea I thought of a few days ago. I am by no means a joke writer or any sort of commedian, but I think this might make an amusing topic.

For those of you who have dogs, are they crate trained? In case you didn't know the term crate means the same as cage. At what point did it become politically inncorrect to call it a cage? Does the dog feel better about being in a crate as opposed to a cage?

Thats all I got, but you could probably expand on the idea to include other non PC scenarios involving animals.


Good luck!

[iloveplaypokr]

you need to tailor your comedy to your personality or it'll come off sounding completely fake. so start there.

[Shimmering Wang]

Great advice so far, guys. I'm sure loogie's in front of his computer right now with a pad of paper and a pen, scribbling furiously. "Oh, this is gold. GOLD."

[Theraflu]

Great advice so far, guys. I'm sure loogie's in front of his computer right now with a pad of paper and a pen, scribbling furiously. "Oh, this is gold. GOLD."

Commodore, not everyone is as Wangtastic as you.

[loogie]

People say crate trained? I did not know this. Wild, wacky stuff.

My dog is barrel trained.


That's gold, Jerry! Gold!

[ShakeZuma]

You do a lot of that "you ever notice" stuff?




dude you're the funniest person on this site. taking comedy cues from us would be like me taking tips on banging women from mrdannyg.

[loogie]

What kind of comedy do you do? Post some of your stuff so I can read it, and then realize how hard standup is.

It's difficult to type out material since so much of it is timing and expression. But here's a joke joke I wrote that I've performed onstage exactly one time. I like it, though.


Did you hear about the dysfunctional family of terrorists?

Dad blew up at dinner.

[Balloon guy]

I hang out at a Hooka Bar sometimes with a guy that was the manager of The Improv in LA for like 15 years, funny guy. We talk alot about comedy etc.

One set I've asked his help on is a play off the old ..you might be a redneck line of Jeff Foxworthy.

But it goes more along the lines of comparing Metrosexuals vs homosexuals.

Start off with the : Ladies I just want to help you out cause I'm all about helping the ladies. You go out go to a club and see a hot guy you got to ask: "Is he gay, or is he metrosexual?"

So I'm going to give you some pointers to help save you some embarressing moments:


If he watches American Idol and knows all the contestants, He's probably just metrosexual.
If he crys when describing them, he's gay.

That's the set up, plenty of easy material, you are welcome to own it and make it your own since I failed after three bad jokes.

[Balloon guy]

It's difficult to type out material since so much of it is timing and expression. But here's a joke joke I wrote that I've performed onstage exactly one time. I like it, though.
Did you hear about the dysfunctional family of terrorists?

Dad blew up at dinner.

How about reading a secret copy of "How to be a terrorist" handbook

Don't use dysfunctional familes

Don't strap explosives to your dog, they tend to follow you

Don't strap explosives to your wife, she'll worry that they make her look fat.

[zimmer4141]

Honestly for a nationally televised show, I'm not sure if terrorist jokes would go over too well.

If you're going to rattle off one-liners ala Mitch Hedberg, then it's all about delivery.

I'm convinced you could make a 3-minute bit out of a family of dysfunctional terrorists though.

[loogie]

Honestly for a nationally televised show, I'm not sure if terrorist jokes would go over too well.

If you're going to rattle off one-liners ala Mitch Hedberg, then it's all about delivery.

I'm convinced you could make a 3-minute bit out of a family of dysfunctional terrorists though.

I am in no way planning on using that joke for the show.

However, I am considering using a bunch of Richard Jeni's material. I mean, it's up for grabs. Right?

[digitalmonkey]

I am in no way planning on using that joke for the show.

However, I am considering using a bunch of Richard Jeni's material. I mean, it's up for grabs. Right?

"It's always been up for grabs."

~Carlos Mencia

[digitalmonkey]

How about a bit on the absurdity of banning online poker vs. the enormous amount of beastiality available online (or so I've heard).

You can incorporate the famous dogs playing poker picture and how it's now more acceptable if they're f*cking.

Just brainstorming...

[Shimmering Wang]

I am in no way planning on using that joke for the show.

However, I am considering using a bunch of Richard Jeni's material. I mean, it's up for grabs. Right?

This would be a funny joke. I don't know if they'd get it, but you could find a more well-known Richard Jeni bit, deliver it, and then say it's totally fine that you stole it because you called dibs or something.

[Kuge]

Hmm...quite the interesting post.

...I might head over there to give it a shot...have my dreams shattered...and never attempt to do stand-up ever again.

PS: You are one of the funniest people who post here, good luck in auditioning. Also, is there a site that shows where all the auditions are going to be held?

[Dirtydutch]

This would be a funny joke. I don't know if they'd get it, but you could find a more well-known Richard Jeni bit, deliver it, and then say it's totally fine that you stole it because you called dibs or something.

This is funny to us, but I'm sure LCS is looking for something a bit more...broad...and terrible.