57 replies to this topic

[turd ferguson]

Both of the windows on my metrosexual 2000 Honda Civic are messed up. The passenger side only rolls up halfway because the rubber lining in the door somehow got stuck in the track where the window goes. The driver's side rolls up just fine until the very top where it makes a clanking sound and shakes around. What I'm trying to say is that it's awesome because it's raining here. Today I tried to take apart the door so I could have a look at and possibly fix the windows, but I'm not good at things so could any of you tell me what I have to do?

Soliciting anal sex in Socal,

Turd Ferguson

[Shimmering Wang]

I locked my keys in my car on Saturday. When the guy came to use the slimjim to open it, I paid him his money, got in the car, and drove off.

Now the door won't open. At all. Awesome.

[DoinSublime]

I have a Civic as well. Just get a regular philips head, and unscrew everything in the door. There should be 5/6 I think. Door handle lever, door handle where you pull it closed, top, sides, bottom.

Pull out the little tray in the door handle, and the little plastic piece around the lever, then you can pull off the inside of the door. Gently up and out. Then you can see everything going on, take out your windows and whatnot, and fix everything.

[Ouch-8s]

Both of the windows on my metrosexual 2000 Honda Civic are messed up. The passenger side only rolls up halfway because the rubber lining in the door somehow got stuck in the track where the window goes. The driver's side rolls up just fine until the very top where it makes a clanking sound and shakes around. What I'm trying to say is that it's awesome because it's raining here. Today I tried to take apart the door so I could have a look at and possibly fix the windows, but I'm not good at things so could any of you tell me what I have to do?

Soliciting anal sex in Socal,

Turd Ferguson

your answer lies within.

remove interior door trim (door handles, window crank, pockets, etc)
unscrew trim screws around outside of door
lift door card up and away, taking care to undo any electical connections
cut vapour barrier (so you can reattach it after)
examine.

note - not based on a honda. based on a VW, because they break a lot more

[CrackofmyACE]

Shortly after I bought my Tacoma 2 years ago (brand new mind you) my drivers side power window malfunctioned on the highway during a blizzard. It rolled down on its own and wouldn't roll back up. So I drove 25 minutes to the nearest Toyota dealership getting pelted in the face with snow and sleet in complete disbelief. I showed up looking like half snowman, half businessman, all irate Irishman and demanded it be fixed immediately. I pulled into the dealerships garage covered in snow and the manager approached my drivers side window and said "Hi .. how can I help you tonight?" ..... I just stared back at him teeth clenched with fume coming out of my ears, communicating the phrase "WHAT THE **** DO YOU THINK IM HERE FOR???" telepathically. He got it after a few seconds, apologized and offered me hot chocolate in the waiting room.

Carry on..

[Lolli]

Soliciting anal sex in Socal,

Turd Ferguson

Is this the next super thread?

[digitalmonkey]

Replace both side windows with orange garbage bags.

[SuperJon]

Buy a new car.


You're welcome.

[turd ferguson]

I locked my keys in my car on Saturday. When the guy came to use the slimjim to open it, I paid him his money, got in the car, and drove off.

Now the door won't open. At all. Awesome.

So do you climb in through the window Dukes of Hazard style?

I have a Civic as well. Just get a regular philips head, and unscrew everything in the door. There should be 5/6 I think. Door handle lever, door handle where you pull it closed, top, sides, bottom.

Pull out the little tray in the door handle, and the little plastic piece around the lever, then you can pull off the inside of the door. Gently up and out. Then you can see everything going on, take out your windows and whatnot, and fix everything.

I can't find any screws except for the door handle and where the lever for the window is. There are three screws in the door jam where the door latches closed, but I stripped one.

your answer lies within.

remove interior door trim (door handles, window crank, pockets, etc)
unscrew trim screws around outside of door
lift door card up and away, taking care to undo any electical connections
cut vapour barrier (so you can reattach it after)
examine.

note - not based on a honda. based on a VW, because they break a lot more

I don't think I'm finding all of the screws. Think you could drive out here and give me a hand? And then give me another hand possibly formed into a fist?

Is this the next super thread?

As far as I'm concerned it is. Lock up that damn sick thread. It's panda time.

[Shimmering Wang]

So do you climb in through the window Dukes of Hazard style?

Passenger side door. The looks I get at the gas station have been priceless. Oh, and a toddler giggled at me and pointed at the library today, so I flicked a cigarette butt at him, and his mother whispered something that was no doubt quite nasty to himm

[ShakeZuma]

As far as I'm concerned it is. Lock up that damn sick thread. It's panda time.

well in that case, ground floor



oh, and I'm pretty sure Civics and crowbars are compatible.

[turd ferguson]

Passenger side door. The looks I get at the gas station have been priceless. Oh, and a toddler giggled at me and pointed at the library today, so I flicked a cigarette butt at him, and his mother whispered something that was no doubt quite nasty to himm

You're an amazement. Do you get a little pick-me-up in your day when you "accidentally" get a little too much e-brake in the poop chute when you're sliding over?

What books did you get?

[RodReynolds]

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

[Lolli]

As far as I'm concerned it is. Lock up that damn sick thread. It's panda time.

Aweome. In on the first page!


I once lost the keys to my car (same night I was arrested on Halloween) and I had a ounce of weed on my front seat, out in the open. The locksmith who came to unlock my doors and make me new keys, smiled wildly as if I was gonna share. So.. I did.

[Shimmering Wang]

You're an amazement. Do you get a little pick-me-up in your day when you "accidentally" get a little too much e-brake in the poop chute when you're sliding over?

What books did you get?

I borrowed 2 CDs to burn, 2 DVDs to burn, a copy of "Stamping Butterflies" by a guy whose name I can't recall, and finally I stole an old copy of Sports Illustrated I wanted, because it needs to be on my wall somewhere.

That little kid was dressed like such a faggot...

Wang

[turd ferguson]

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

It's all coming together now. If Rod tells us a story of some sort I'm going to tell Kieth to delete the sick thread.

Aweome. In on the first page!
I once lost the keys to my car (same night I was arrested on Halloween) and I had a ounce of weed on my front seat, out in the open. The locksmith who came to unlock my doors and make me new keys, smiled wildly as if I was gonna share. So.. I did.

You bent over?

I borrowed 2 CDs to burn, 2 DVDs to burn, a copy of "Stamping Butterflies" by a guy whose name I can't recall, and finally I stole an old copy of Sports Illustrated I wanted, because it needs to be on my wall somewhere.

That little kid was dressed like such a faggot...

Wang

Good man. Speaking of uppity little kids I've got a very short story that I just remembered.

[IQCrash]

[Lolli]

You bent over?

Would you expect any different?

[Ouch-8s]

I don't think I'm finding all of the screws. Think you could drive out here and give me a hand? And then give me another hand possibly formed into a fist?

noooooo.




YEESSSSSSS!

[turd ferguson]

The other night while sharing a bed with my friend (male of course) we were reminiscing about how cool we are, and naturally we had lots to talk about. Then we remembered something that we hadn't thought about in quite some time. Let me take you back a few years to my high school life. Ah, high school, back when all guys thought of nothing but getting in some unfortunate girl's panties. Not us though. We were special. On Friday nights, like most high schools, just about everyone went to the football games. I was on the team for my freshman and sophomore year, but this was junior year and my ambition had gone the way of my once clear face. My best friend Paul and I show up in my mother's green minivan and realize quickly that we were foolish to leave the house without a jacket of some sort. We had light sweaters on, but the wind was much worse in the bleachers, and it was damn cold out there. No problem though, we would just have to find a couple of sweet ladies that had a blanket and snuggle up next to them, or so one might think. We found girls with blankets sure enough, but here's where things get fun. After we had sufficiently creeped them out with out homosocial banter they ditched us and left behind the blanket so we wouldn't be tempted to follow. We were left with a problem. Who would get to be warm? Should we just take turns? One of us would inevitable be left out in the cold. We did what any natural men would do. We cuddled. So there we were on the bottom row of the bleachers sharing a blanket and giggling like a couple school girls when this punk *** six year old and his mother walked by. Let me note first that we had made a clear division of the blanket between the two of us that we had taken to calling The Straight Barrier. I might also add that by this point the barrier may have been blurred a little, just a little, to improve the body heat situation. But this snide little ***** boy comes sauntering by, looks over at us, tugs on his mommy's dress hem and says, and I quote, "Hey Mommy. Why are those two boys snuggling?" We erupted in unison, "THERE'S A STRAIGHT BARRIER! SEE?!?!" followed by various threats suited for a boy of his stature. But it was no use he just kept on going while everyone within earshot just thought that that was the funniest thing they'd ever heard. Our collective pride was wounded, but we weren't about to be cold. No sir. We snuggled right up until the end of the fourth quarter, and by that time most of our classmates had walked by and seen us at one point or another. A man's got to do what a man's got to do.