23 replies to this topic

[keith crime]

What with being in a Chinese prison camp for a couple years and being thought dead before that -

1. Does Jack own anything? He can't have a bank account or credit cards left - all his money and belongings would have been given to Kim
2. He can't have a valid drivers license can he?
3. When was the last time he was paid by CTU? He hasn't worked there more than a day in a row for at least three seasons. Just what are you owed by the Government for saving the world 4 or 5 times while on temporary status?
4. Will dude ever get his job back? He was running that mf'er in season one and since then he's done pretty well for that agency yet he's still (I was going to say taking orders but I don't remember him ever taking an order so forget it)
5. Why are all the terrorists in LA - if they're not going to kill Jack before they hatch their plot at least target New York
6. Jack still looks pretty buff - minus the back and hand scars would a Chinese prison help me get back into shape?
7. Will someone get this guy a burger he must be hungry as hell right now
8. What exactly were those Chinese guys hoping to get out of Jack? Does his admission that he attacked their agency with Government consent let the Chinese blow up Kansas with the moral upper hand?
9. How many ways does Jack know how to torture a guy. Does he choose the best way given the target or does he just try not to repeat himself to remain entertaining?
10. Does CTU have a plaque up for every one of it's dead agents and is that room the size of Staples Center?
11. Finally, and most importantly, is there time to masturbate in a Chinese prison or are you being tortured pretty much 24-7?

[Ron_Mexico]

You were high when you wrote this weren't you?


Amusing just the same.

[keith crime]

actually for the first time no

[showstopper24]

What with being in a Chinese prison camp for a couple years and being thought dead before that -

1. Does Jack own anything? He can't have a bank account or credit cards left - all his money and belongings would have been given to Kim
2. He can't have a valid drivers license can he?
3. When was the last time he was paid by CTU? He hasn't worked there more than a day in a row for at least three seasons. Just what are you owed by the Government for saving the world 4 or 5 times while on temporary status?
4. Will dude ever get his job back? He was running that mf'er in season one and since then he's done pretty well for that agency yet he's still (I was going to say taking orders but I don't remember him ever taking an order so forget it)
5. Why are all the terrorists in LA - if they're not going to kill Jack before they hatch their plot at least target New York
6. Jack still looks pretty buff - minus the back and hand scars would a Chinese prison help me get back into shape?
7. Will someone get this guy a burger he must be hungry as hell right now
8. What exactly were those Chinese guys hoping to get out of Jack? Does his admission that he attacked their agency with Government consent let the Chinese blow up Kansas with the moral upper hand?
9. How many ways does Jack know how to torture a guy. Does he choose the best way given the target or does he just try not to repeat himself to remain entertaining?
10. Does CTU have a plaque up for every one of it's dead agents and is that room the size of Staples Center?
11. Finally, and most importantly, is there time to masturbate in a Chinese prison or are you being tortured pretty much 24-7?

my thoughts on Jack:

Jack=Awesomes guy ever. True American hero and patriot.


haha-you said 24 in the thread about Jack

[Jeepster80125]

my thoughts on Jack:

Jack=Awesomes guy ever. True American hero and patriot.
haha-you said 24 in the thread about Jack

I would hate to be Keifer if you ever meet him or see him on the street. I'm picturing groupie-style fondling and screaming, a la NSync in the late 90s.

You'd probably suck him off if he asked you.

Fanboy sicko.

That's all.

SPOILER ALERT:
24 Things to know about 24, from http://www.bestweekever.tv/2007/01/15/jack...w-season-of-24/

1. I’m going to begin this post with the words “Spoiler Alert.” Even though the 2 episodes I’m basing everything on aired last night and I’m only technically “spoiling” it for the people too “busy” to watch it with the rest of the world. This will be your only warning.
2. Jack Bauer eats people now. More on that in just a bit.
3. After being tortured by the Chinese for two years and not speaking a single word, the first thing that Jack uttered to Bill Buchanan was the name of his ex-girlfriend, Audrey. Buchanan didn’t have the heart to inform Jack that Audrey left to go do The Nine, which was cancelled almost immediately.
4. Jack’s Unabomber beard sadly only lasted 3 minutes in the U.S. Authorities made him shave it and put on a nice button up shirt before he was sacrificed to the terrorists, presumably because they didn’t want to murder anybody who was so homeless-y looking.
5. After running on the “You guys liked my dead brother, vote for me!” card, Wayne Palmer was elected President. Obtaining this power has affected his ability to speak any louder than a whisper.


6. 24 has remained the ultimate “Hey! It’s that guy!” show. Thanks to:
7. Peter MacNicol. He’s gone from taking orders from Vigo in Ghostbusters II to taking on the role of “swarmy, suspicious Presidential aide #1.”
8. Eddie from The O.C. making a glorious return to CTU. Good to know that despite the world changing around him, he still hasn’t shaved his stupid little mustache.
9. Rube from Major League II. The man can’t throw the ball back to the pitcher, but he has no problem kicking Kal Penn directly into a perfectly sized glass coffee table.
kalpenn.jpg10. Speaking of Kal Penn, here’s something you’re going to have to remember: If Kumar doesn’t get his White Castle burgers, Kumar gets angry. Very, very angry
11. Oh, and FYI: his name is pronounced AhMET. Not AHmet. Apparently this is a sensitive subject.
12. This year on 24, playing the role of the Regina King character… it’s Regina King!
13. You know it’s bad when you’re watching the President and the rest of his White House staff getting their news from FOXNews and you think, “This is the most realistic thing I’ve ever seen on this show.” And then you start crying.
14. Looking at Jack’s back, it’s evident that getting tortured by the Chinese is incredibly similar to having wild sex with a chick with long fingernails. Let’s leave it at that.
15. Is it just me, or does the lead bad-guy terrorist (as opposed to the lead good-guy terrorist) look like former New York Giants running back Tiki Barber? I knew he wanted to get into show business, but that was quick.
16. In two episodes, Jack has already undergone more wardrobe changes than Sarah Jessica Parker did when she hosted the MTV Movie Awards. How’s that for an obscure reference?
tikibarber.jpg17. The leading premise this season is that extremists have been targeting American cities with suicide bombers and random acts of terrorism. We don’t want to think about it, but we all know that something like this happening is not out of the realm of possibility. It’s scary, yes… but at the same time, isn’t it kind of cool when you hear somebody at CTU saying that YOUR city was targeted? It is, right?
18. After watching all 4 playoff football games this weekend and seeing that John Mellancamp “this is ourrrrr country” Chevy ad approximately 6,531 times, I have to admit that it doesn’t feel right watching Jack Bauer ride around in anything other than a Chevy truck. This has to be fixed immediately.
19. Least Surprising Stat Of The Night: CTU is 0-1 with setting up a perimeter so far this season. This brings their lifetime mark to 0-219.
20. Why couldn’t this show be named 18? Coming up with 24 observations is a pain in the ***.
21. Jack has lost his taste for torture. This is sad. It’d be nice if they solved this pesky terrorism thing right away, then spent the next 16 weeks following Jack through Un-Sensitivity Training.
bauer2.jpg22. Here’s something to think about this season. At this point in time, Jack Bauer has saved the world 5 times. 5 times. At least twice, in a very public matter. So wouldn’t you think he’d be at least minorly recognizable by now? Like, “Hey, it’s that guy who was initially blamed for the assassination of David Palmer but later that day arrested the President.” You’re telling me this wouldn’t have made him famous? Please. “Jack” by Oliver Stone would’ve been a $100 million grossing movie by the time Day 6 rolled around.
23. I’m never paying for another train ticket ever again. “My name is Jack Bauer, I’m a federal agent, that man over there has explosives strapped to his chest, if he suspects that anything unusual is going on he’ll set them off, keep walking” is my new line. And if any of you steal it, I’ll kick you out of a moving train.
24. And finally, before we move on and begin to mentally prepare ourselves for tonight’s 2-hour extravanza, remember: Jack Bauer ate a man last night. He was strapped to a chair, he had no weapons to his disposal, he was about to get his finger cut off… so he ate a man.

[showstopper24]

I would hate to be Keifer if you ever meet him or see him on the street. I'm picturing groupie-style fondling and screaming, a la NSync in the late 90s.

You'd probably suck him off if he asked you.

Fanboy sicko.

.

I have met kiefer and i did not suck him

[chester97]

I have met kiefer and i did not suck him

really, what can be said?

[JSHamm]

My parents had dinner with him in Atlanta. My mom poured his iced tea. My father told him he held his fork like I did. Meh.

[fleung22]

My parents had dinner with him in Atlanta. My mom poured his iced tea. My father told him he held his fork like I did. Meh.

when i read "fork" i was preparing myself for the worst...i'm glad your parents are still alive.

[Suited_Up]

My parents had dinner with him in Atlanta. My mom poured his iced tea. My father told him he held his fork like I did. Meh.

I don't get it.

[JSHamm]

I don't get it.

Well, they sat at the same table during a meal. During this meal my mom, being a mom, refilled his glass with iced tea. My father, not being the greatest conversationalist, could only come up with the phrase, "hey, you and my son hold your forks the same way." I guess insinuating we hold dinner forks oddly, which I do.
Point really being my parents ate a meal with keifer. my parents had no clue who he was until another lady at the table pointed it out. She ran into him again outside the restaurant and said to him, "I know who you are." He replied, "We'll keep it our secret."
See what you did?? I try to share a little and end up confusing the story more. thanks.

[showstopper24]

a couple people i know, who go to college in NY go to school with kiefer's daughter. they are going to their vacation home over the summer

[SweetDaddyFreak]

What with being in a Chinese prison camp for a couple years and being thought dead before that -


11. Finally, and most importantly, is there time to masturbate in a Chinese prison or are you being tortured pretty much 24-7?

23. I’m never paying for another train ticket ever again. “My name is Jack Bauer, I’m a federal agent, that man over there has explosives strapped to his chest, if he suspects that anything unusual is going on he’ll set them off, keep walking” is my new line. And if any of you steal it, I’ll kick you out of a moving train.

I justed watched the first 4 episodes with my friends and I mentioned both of these.

If CTU listened to everything Jack Bauer said the show would be called "12"

[CardWarfare]

I would hate to be Keifer if you ever meet him or see him on the street. I'm picturing groupie-style fondling and screaming, a la NSync in the late 90s.

You'd probably suck him off if he asked you.

Fanboy sicko.

That's all.

You know you'd do the same if you met Hugh Laurie.


It's ok, I would too.

I have met kiefer and i did not suck him

This may have been the funniest thing ever posted by showstopper.

[showstopper24]

You know you'd do the same if you met Hugh Laurie.
It's ok, I would too.
This may have been the funniest thing ever posted by showstopper.

sweet

[thehidden]

i have to say jeepster, this was a disapointing burn...you participated in Rickers thread about the 24 mug give away....where Show mentioned this story...

btw wasn't Keifer born and trained in Canada?

[Loismustdie]

Nobody ever points out that Kiefer was also in The Cowboy Way, and that movie was just gay as 8 guys blowing 9 guys. Why doesn't anybody ever point that out?

[showstopper24]

i have to say jeepster, this was a disapointing burn...you participated in Rickers thread about the 24 mug give away....where Show mentioned this story...

btw wasn't Keifer born and trained in Canada?

he was born in England but i think he lived in Canada for a while

Nobody ever points out that Kiefer was also in The Cowboy Way, and that movie was just gay as 8 guys blowing 9 guys. Why doesn't anybody ever point that out?

most famous actors did a bunch of bad movies before they were famous

[cuddlemonkey]

he was born in England but i think he lived in Canada for a while

most famous actors did a bunch of bad movies before they were famous

Before he was famous?

The Three Musketeers
A Few Good Men
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me
"Saturday Night Live"
Young Guns II
Young Guns
The Lost Boys
Stand by Me

All done before Cowboy Way.

[Loismustdie]

he was born in England but i think he lived in Canada for a while

most famous actors did a bunch of bad movies before they were famous

Lol. You take this very seriously.