Funny/embarrassing Stories

[kidpkrJR 0]

I'm bored and haven't been as entertained as of late by some of these threads.... plus I'm looking forward to hearing some stories.This one was about my friend,He was parked in an empty parking lot at the time with his girlfriend at the times. They were hanging out and smoking weed, his gf then decides to start to go down on him. As he is laying in his seat, he is blinded by a bright spotlight. Before he could get his bearings, a cop was rapping at his window. He puts the joint by his shifter, rolls the window down and before he could utter a word the cop told him to get out of the car. Afraid to make any movements, he gets out of the car with his di.ck hanging out of his pants. The cop gives him a once over and asks why his hands are covering his crotch. My friend says "Oh i forgot to wear my belt so I'm holding up my pants." Since he smelled the weed he thought my friend was hiding something and asked him to move his hands. As soon as he did this the bottom up his shirt raised up and his wang stood up saluting the officer. The officer just stared at him baffled and shook his head. My friend then confessed what was going on, that he was smoking and what he and his gf was doing. The cop just gave him a warning but before he let them go he took my friend by his car and gave him a 10 minute lecture telling him that it is disrepectful to have his gf do that to him in the car. He told my friend that if it was his daughter and he found out he would chop the guys di.ck off.- I hope you guys can top this, I think its pretty embarassing but maybe you got something better.

[gkunit20 1]

Was it his daughter?

[onlyme386 0]

I'm bored and haven't been as entertained as of late by some of these threads.... plus I'm looking forward to hearing some stories.This one was about my friend,He was parked in an empty parking lot at the time with his girlfriend at the times. They were hanging out and smoking weed, his gf then decides to start to go down on him. As he is laying in his seat, he is blinded by a bright spotlight. Before he could get his bearings, a cop was rapping at his window. He puts the joint by his shifter, rolls the window down and before he could utter a word the cop told him to get out of the car. Afraid to make any movements, he gets out of the car with his di.ck hanging out of his pants. The cop gives him a once over and asks why his hands are covering his crotch. My friend says "Oh i forgot to wear my belt so I'm holding up my pants." Since he smelled the weed he thought my friend was hiding something and asked him to move his hands. As soon as he did this the bottom up his shirt raised up and his wang stood up saluting the officer. The officer just stared at him baffled and shook his head. My friend then confessed what was going on, that he was smoking and what he and his gf was doing. The cop just gave him a warning but before he let them go he took my friend by his car and gave him a 10 minute lecture telling him that it is disrepectful to have his gf do that to him in the car. He told my friend that if it was his daughter and he found out he would chop the guys di.ck off.- I hope you guys can top this, I think its pretty embarassing but maybe you got something better.

and by "true story about my friend" you of course mean "true story about me", right?

[gkunit20 1]

and by "true story about my friend" you of course mean "true story about me", right?

What else would he mean?

[bigkg 0]

I once passed out midshit, and my roommate brought his girlfriend back and it smelled like puke+poop.

[kidpkrJR 0]

and by "true story about my friend" you of course mean "true story about me", right?

haha no really it was about my friend, I would say me if it was really true.

[Dr. Strangeglove 0]

In a high school track meet I was kickin *** in tha lead in the 200m and my legs turned to spaghetti and i just face plant rolled like that "Special" person in the Garth Brooks - Standin outside tha fire video. The thought of at least like 80+ people simultaneously laughin at me still makes me shudder :blush:It was like somthin outta some lame 80s movie.

[showstopper24 0]

in high school, all of the seniors gave a 12 minute talk to the class. During my friends (and I do mean my friends, not mine) talk, he had to sneeze. He had to take a little pause but the sneeze didn't come out. Then about 2 minutes after that, the sneeze came out and everyone could see his snot come out. Everybody started laughing and then the best part was he was missing two out of the 8 pages of his talk. He couldn't read the conclsion but the teacher felt bad and still gave him a good grade

[SuperJon 175]

When I was around 17, I went to bed early around 9pm. I usually sleep in my boxers, and that night was no different. At around 3am, I awoke in my bathroom sitting on my toilet with my head on the sink. At first, I thought that maybe I had been dropping the kids off at the pool. However, I then realized that I was now fully clothed.How and why, I doubt I will ever know.

[kidpkrJR 0]

When I was around 17, I went to bed early around 9pm. I usually sleep in my boxers, and that night was no different. At around 3am, I awoke in my bathroom sitting on my toilet with my head on the sink. At first, I thought that maybe I had been dropping the kids off at the pool. However, I then realized that I was now fully clothed.How and why, I doubt I will ever know.

thats awesome, I actually starting laughing after I read that.

[SuitedAces21 2,741]

In high school my friends and I got drunk at our buddy RJ's house. Long story short, when I woke up the next morning, I went in to take a piss and there is RJ, naked in a bathtub full of water, and shit and piss and puke. Pretty funny. Unfortunately we could not find a camera.He had no explanation.

[76clubs 0]

In high school my friends and I got drunk at our buddy RJ's house. Long story short, when I woke up the next morning, I went in to take a piss and there is RJ, naked in a bathtub full of water, and shit and piss and puke. Pretty funny. Unfortunately we could not find a camera.He had no explanation.

This was a mildly entertaining story untill the last sentence, then it was funny.

[Jeepster80125 0]

Two Things.1. http://www.fullcontactpoker.com/poker-foru...showtopic=771152. In college, myself and four friends moved into a 9 bedroom house. This house had been a frat house, but they lost their charter. We got it on the cheap. It was huge, ten foot ceilings, two living rooms, two kitchens, lots of room. Two of my roommates were in a frat, so naturally we had lots of parties that frat guys came to. This can be beneficial, because frat guys usually bring frat girls. We had a party one night about this time of year. We were on our second keg and were getting out of hand.Our back staircase trails the back corner of the house. That is, our back staircase goes up four steps, turns 90 degrees left, and continues up to the second floor. Remember this.An important frat guy decided that he would try to hook up with a freshman who showed up. He got her to this back staircase. They went to the top of the stairs, where she started to go down on him, with her butt facing down the stairs.Just then, the cops came in the back door. There was mass hysteria due to the younger crowd, and everyone started screaming and running out the front and out the windows. Evidently, this girl was quite surprised to hear that cops were in the house, so she stepped back. And promptly fell down the stairs, putting her head threw the wall at the bottom and continued down the remaining four stairs, knocking herself out with her pants at her ankles.Well, Mr. Frat guy decides now would be a good time to laugh. And laugh some more. Not go and help the girl, but laugh. Her friends bust in and see her, and then they start laughing. By this time, the girl had come to and wasn't very happy. She crawled out the window nearby, ripping her pants on a nail on the way out. We didn't see her again.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

This story is reproduced from a thread I started awhile back. It's one of my favorite stories told at my expense: Okay, I just told this story to some friends of friends a while back, and I thought I'd share it with you all. Because it shows exactly how stupid I am.My junior year of college, I lived in a 5 man house, and all our best friends lived next door. We all got along fabulously, and we could get pretty crazy.We had one game we'd kinda play, called "made ya look". The goal was to catch somebody looking at something disgusting, usually your own *** or testicles. It was a fun game, and if you looked, got surprised, and flinched, you got punched on the shoulder. Just a stupid game.Well, one night I was watching a Pistons game with 7 or 8 guys, all good friends, having a few beers before a girl I knew was supposed to stop by to pick up some dinner/hang out. This girl was a real catch. She was a year older than me, really smart, very mature, and waaaay too pretty for me. Generally, she was out of my league. She was a bit of a nit, but I figured I could loosen her up. Until then, I kinda wanted to keep my crazy-ass friends away from her so they couldn't scare her away. Her name was KathyAnyway, I'd been nailed 3 or 4 times at "made ya look" that night, and it was really starting to piss me off. Everyone was ganging up on me. It was pick on Shimmering Wang night, I guess. So I formulated a plan, a coup de tat if you will (and if that's how that phrase is spelled).I went into the kitchen and thought to myself, "What can I do that will so shock and disgust a room of 20-something half drunk men/animals? I know!"I have a gigantic ball-sac. My testicles are reasonably large (everything else down there is pretty normal looking), but the sac itself is freakish overkill, like wrapping two Grade A eggs in a potato sack. Seriously.So I have this maneuver. In highschool I used to steal people's cameras at parties when they got drunk and passed out, and I'd pull my sac up over my junk. And take a picture.So, I dropped trow, pulled my mutated ballsac up over my equipment, and just before I stepped out, I said, "Hey guys, check this out."And just as I leaped into the family room, I shouted "FLYING SQUIRR-...."Everyone in the room dropped their jaws, looking mortified beyond belief.I turned slightly to my left, and there sitting was the beautiful, now horrified, Katherine. She quickly picked her jaw up off the floor, stood up, crossed her arms, looked at me with unabashed disgust plain on her face, and said, "You're sick. Don't call me." She walked out of the house and out of my life forever.(shrug) Fuck her if she don't get it. I got drunk and snagged a handjob from the girl 4 houses down.Cheers,The Shimmering Wang

[gkunit20 1]

I opened this thread when I saw Wang was the last poster.didn't disappoint. I Wang.

[onlyme386 0]

I opened this thread when I saw Wang was the last poster.didn't disappoint. I Wang.

I've got an embarassing story about gkunit120.This one time, he said "i wang"Come on, you know you laughed...

[showstopper24 0]

I've got an embarassing story about gkunit120.This one time, he said "i wang"Come on, you know you laughed...

i did laugh

[XXEddie 0]

(shrug) Fuck her if she don't get it. I got drunk and snagged a handjob from the girl 4 houses down.

my favorite part

[timwakefield 69]

So I formulated a plan, a coup de tat if you will (and if that's how that phrase is spelled).

Coup d'etat. <-------------- Not trying to be a jerk, just being helpful.P.S. Nice story. If she doesn't laugh at that then she's lame anyways. If she falls over laughing and still wants to hang out with you, you should probably marry her.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Coup d'etat. <-------------- Not trying to be a jerk, just being helpful.P.S. Nice story. If she doesn't laugh at that then she's lame anyways. If she falls over laughing and still wants to hang out with you, you should probably marry her.

Actually, after I wrote this story, I looked it up. I even remember being sure there was an apostrophe in there somewhere. I was on a roll as I was typing, and unwilling to break stride.Thanks.As to your post script: I met a girl who I played beer pong with a lot in college. She was pretty, and fun, and surprisingly interesting. When I played with my friends, I used to just whip my nuts out as a distraction method, and- let's be honest here- I was vainly proud of my stupid-mutant balls. Well, when I played with this chick, I obviously tried NOT to expose myself. You know, because that's all sick and shit. One of my friends, trying to set me up or turn me into a massive pussy, said something about my "patented psyche-out move." Now, if there's one thing I don't have, it's pride. Or common sense. Or a self-preservation instinct. So I turned to my attractive female partner, apologized, and- with great flair and showmanship- extracted my testicles from my button-fly jeans. My partner, without missing a beat, got on her knees and opened her mouth a few inches from my sac.Shaken, my opponents missed both shots, and we closed the game on our turn, with my nuts still exposed at her request. I had an inappropriate boner that I had to tuck under my belt.Sadly, she was (obviously) too big a tramp to be marriage material, but she is still one my favorite people on the planet.Wang

[hank213 1,824]

Actually, after I wrote this story, I looked it up. I even remember being sure there was an apostrophe in there somewhere. I was on a roll as I was typing, and unwilling to break stride.Thanks.As to your post script: I met a girl who I played beer pong with a lot in college. She was pretty, and fun, and surprisingly interesting. When I played with my friends, I used to just whip my nuts out as a distraction method, and- let's be honest here- I was vainly proud of my stupid-mutant balls. Well, when I played with this chick, I obviously tried NOT to expose myself. You know, because that's all sick and shit. One of my friends, trying to set me up or turn me into a massive pussy, said something about my "patented psyche-out move." Now, if there's one thing I don't have, it's pride. Or common sense. Or a self-preservation instinct. So I turned to my attractive female partner, apologized, and- with great flair and showmanship- extracted my testicles from my button-fly jeans. My partner, without missing a beat, got on her knees and opened her mouth a few inches from my sac.Shaken, my opponents missed both shots, and we closed the game on our turn, with my nuts still exposed at her request. I had an inappropriate boner that I had to tuck under my belt.Sadly, she was (obviously) too big a tramp to be marriage material, but she is still one my favorite people on the planet.Wang

Can I get her number?

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Can I get her number?

No. But you can have some pictures of the skank:You know, if she ever saw this, she'd be furious. Then again, I'm pretty fucking hammered right now, so... (shrug) Who cares?Wang

[gkunit20 1]

Actually, after I wrote this story, I looked it up. I even remember being sure there was an apostrophe in there somewhere. I was on a roll as I was typing, and unwilling to break stride.Thanks.As to your post script: I met a girl who I played beer pong with a lot in college. She was pretty, and fun, and surprisingly interesting. When I played with my friends, I used to just whip my nuts out as a distraction method, and- let's be honest here- I was vainly proud of my stupid-mutant balls. Well, when I played with this chick, I obviously tried NOT to expose myself. You know, because that's all sick and shit. One of my friends, trying to set me up or turn me into a massive pussy, said something about my "patented psyche-out move." Now, if there's one thing I don't have, it's pride. Or common sense. Or a self-preservation instinct. So I turned to my attractive female partner, apologized, and- with great flair and showmanship- extracted my testicles from my button-fly jeans. My partner, without missing a beat, got on her knees and opened her mouth a few inches from my sac.Shaken, my opponents missed both shots, and we closed the game on our turn, with my nuts still exposed at her request. I had an inappropriate boner that I had to tuck under my belt.Sadly, she was (obviously) too big a tramp to be marriage material, but she is still one my favorite people on the planet.Wang

Wang is going to PWN this thread.

[76clubs 0]

This thread seemed to have Wang written all over it from the get-go.

[Dr. Strangeglove 0]

Can't belive i didnt remember this one earlierMy ex and I had borrowed her parents video camera for a "school project" (she was goin to a community college 4 teacher's aid). I won't go into the sordid details but lets just say there was a little nose candy and alot of explicitness in this so called school project. Being completely stupid we left the tape in the camera and went out of town for a weekend. Her dad stopped by to pick up the camera and my roommate saw no harm in returning it to daddy dearest. So when we find this out we're all like " NO **** YOU F"N TARD" ( not his fault tho ). A few days later the ex goes to her parents place and her dad pulls her aside, gives her the tape and says, " I think this belongs to you". I didnt go for obvious reasons and it took me a good month and a half to get the nerve to face her dad. Nothin was said but to say the least our relationship was a little different after that. I laugh about now cuz the psycho beeyatch is outta my life (why are all the really good lays crazy?).