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I Need Some Advice


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#1 *Lone*Trout*

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:19 PM

Tonight I was invited to a game in the town I live in as a result of answering a listing at homepokergames.com. Approximately a half an hour into the game, the hosts parents (turns out the host and the other players were high school kids, which to me is no big deal) called him upstairs and about 10 minutes after that we were told we had to leave. Below I am going to post an e-mail I composed to the host as to my perception of the cause of this. I have not sent this yet as I am a serious coward. Please let me know what you think I should do. A little background, the neighborhood the host lived in is the most exclusive in our town. This is the email.**********************************************Drew,As I was driving home, it dawned on me as to what happened this evening at your house.Let me begin by apologizing for any problems my behavior may have caused you with your parents. When I walked up to your house, I encountered your parents in their garage and I asked your father if he was you. He said no and then he asked me who I was. In my haste and, in retrospect, my pure and sheer ignorance, I failed to answer your father's question to his satisfaction. In all humility, I must admit I made assumptions about who your parents were in relation to the neighborhood you live in. It never dawned on me that you were an African-American, and that the people in your garage were your parents. I assumed they were employees of the home owner and an explanation as to who I was, was not important. To say the least, I was feeling pretty awful when the full weight of my actions became clear to me.To you and the other guys playing tonight, I sincerely apologize for screwing up your game.To your parents, there really is no sufficient way to apologize. I could offer up a number of excuses, my age, society, etc. But the fact of the matter is I am clouded by a racist attitude that underlies and filters my perception of the world and my interaction with it. How I behaved was totally inexcusable, and in reality more harmful than overt forms of racism. This incident has caused me to reflect on my attitudes and how I need to change to avoid such incidents in the future.I hope you accept my apology. And if you do not respond to this e-mail, I will totally understand. Just know that what happened has had a significant impact and I hope will be a catalyst of change in me and my attitudes concerning race and how I perceive people regardless of the color of their skin. Again I offer my sincerest apologies.PSHitting the send button was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I can only hope I am way off base with this, but I get the feeling I am not. If necessary please show this correspondence to your parents so they will hopefully understand and let you and your friends continue playing the great game of poker.*********************************************Thank you,*L*T*
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#2 pckt10s

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:23 PM

View Post*Lone*Trout*, on Friday, August 11th, 2006, 7:19 PM, said:

Tonight I was invited to a game in the town I live in as a result of answering a listing at pokerhomegames.com. Approximately a half an hour into the game, the hosts parents (turns out the host and the other players were high school kids, which to me is no big deal) called him upstairs and about 10 minutes after that we were told we had to leave. Below I am going to post an e-mail I composed to the host as to my perception of the cause of this. I have not sent this yet as I am a serious coward. Please let me know what you think I should do. A little background, the neighborhood the host lived in is the most exclusive in our town. This is the email.**********************************************Drew,As I was driving home, it dawned on me as to what happened this evening at your house.Let me begin by apologizing for any problems my behavior may have caused you with your parents. When I walked up to your house, I encountered your parents in their garage and I asked your father if he was you. He said no and then he asked me who I was. In my haste and, in retrospect, my pure and sheer ignorance, I failed to answer your father's question to his satisfaction. In all humility, I must admit I made assumptions about who your parents were in relation to the neighborhood you live in. It never dawned on me that you were an African-American, and that the people in your garage were your parents. I assumed they were employees of the home owner and an explanation as to who I was, was not important. To say the least, I was feeling pretty awful when the full weight of my actions became clear to me.To you and the other guys playing tonight, I sincerely apologize for screwing up your game.To your parents, there really is no sufficient way to apologize. I could offer up a number of excuses, my age, society, etc. But the fact of the matter is I am clouded by a racist attitude that underlies and filters my perception of the world and my interaction with it. How I behaved was totally inexcusable, and in reality more harmful than overt forms of racism. This incident has caused me to reflect on my attitudes and how I need to change to avoid such incidents in the future.I hope you accept my apology. And if you do not respond to this e-mail, I will totally understand. Just know that what happened has had a significant impact and I hope will be a catalyst of change in me and my attitudes concerning race and how I perceive people regardless of the color of their skin. Again I offer my sincerest apologies.Joseph SandonePSHitting the send button was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I can only hope I am way off base with this, but I get the feeling I am not. If necessary please show this correspondence to your parents so they will hopefully understand and let you and your friends continue playing the great game of poker.*********************************************Thank you,*L*T*
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#3 Jordan

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:23 PM

uhm...why do you post this here? what's the advice you are seeking?don't be racist?- Jordan

#4 pckt10s

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:24 PM

View PostJordan, on Friday, August 11th, 2006, 7:23 PM, said:

uhm...why do you post this here? what's the advice you are seeking?don't be racist?- Jordan
beware of home games... IDK...
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#5 GWCGWC

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:25 PM

I didn't read this......cliffnotes dammitdid you get laid?sidenote: love the avatar. It's a definate improvement

#6 fatman

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:26 PM

Just join the kkk and get it over with.sw
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#7 Jerry

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:26 PM

View Post*Lone*Trout*, on Friday, August 11th, 2006, 6:19 PM, said:

When I walked up to your house, I encountered your parents in their garage and I asked your father if he was you. He said no and then he asked me who I was. In my haste and, in retrospect, my pure and sheer ignorance, I failed to answer your father's question to his satisfaction. In all humility, I must admit I made assumptions about who your parents were in relation to the neighborhood you live in.
you made assumptions. but exactly what did you do? did you ignore them. were you rude, did you not say "hi parents" or did you say "can you take my coat"?
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#8 SAM_Hard8

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:26 PM

View Post*Lone*Trout*, on Friday, August 11th, 2006, 10:19 PM, said:

Thank you,*L*T*
Great letter and a good lesson. Send it.
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#9 doublemeup

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:27 PM

My only advice.....dont be racist

#10 gatortom64

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:35 PM

Puts a whole new spin on "Don't hate the player, hate the game"!!!!


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#11 Don Giovanni

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:35 PM

haha man you are a dumb ****. i always thought you were pretty weird. this confirms it.the fact that you sent them an email about all this makes you even more of a wierdo. you would have never seen them again so who cares if you made yourself look like a complete idiot.

#12 kidprodigy08

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:35 PM

it sounds like you were raised racist but its cool that you're trying to change
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#13 timwakefield

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:38 PM

View PostSAM_Hard8, on Friday, August 11th, 2006, 6:26 PM, said:

Send it.

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#14 alexruimy

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:39 PM

View PostJerry, on Friday, August 11th, 2006, 10:26 PM, said:

you made assumptions. but exactly what did you do? did you ignore them. were you rude, did you not say "hi parents" or did you say "can you take my coat"?
Yeah, there's a sufficient lack of details here.
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#15 No_Neck

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:40 PM

By any chance were you high when all this was going down?I like the letter, you admit you were a dumbass nothing more you can do here.

#16 Don Giovanni

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:43 PM

i really hope none of this happened the way you think it did and they get this letter from you and think you are some kind of nutcase. then you will know you have ****ed up as much as you possibly could have.

#17 thatguy

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:55 PM

That is the funniest thing I've heard in a while. I don't really know what kind of advice can help you. It's common sense that what you said was ignorant as hell.

#18 RodReynolds

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:55 PM

If you're very confident that what you did offended them, then yes, excellent letter, you should send it. But from your letter it sounds like you just sort of brushed them off, and if this is all you did, I find it hard to believe that they would read that much into it. But, I don't know what exactly happened. But it is a good letter.

#19 eYank

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:58 PM

View PostDon Giovanni, on Friday, August 11th, 2006, 6:43 PM, said:

i really hope none of this happened the way you think it did and they get this letter from you and think you are some kind of nutcase. then you will know you have ****ed up as much as you possibly could have.
yeah what i am assuming is that u walked up to this house, and saw the parents, and didnt treat them as parents and said o im here for a poker game and not treat them like o im here to play poker with jonny or somethingso whats the worst thing that happens, u never see these ppl again in ur life?

#20 Jerry

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Posted 11 August 2006 - 06:59 PM

LoneTrout: Nice sweater sir. Is it cotton?
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