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I just heard Larry the cable guy tell one.So there are these two guys out hunting and one has a rifle with a really high-powered scope on it. The guy looking through the scope says "oh man, I can see all the way to your house and your wife is cheating on you." The other man responds ,"Man, i've had it with her. Shoot her in the head and shoot him in the privates." The guy with the rifle said "ooh, I can get that in one shot."

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I just heard Larry the cable guy tell one.So there are these two guys out hunting and one has a rifle with a really high-powered scope on it. The guy looking through the scope says "oh man, I can see all the way to your house and your wife is cheating on you." The other man responds ,"Man, i've had it with her. Shoot her in the head and shoot him in the privates." The guy with the rifle said "ooh, I can get that in one shot."
CS
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I just heard Larry the cable guy tell one.So there are these two guys out hunting and one has a rifle with a really high-powered scope on it. The guy looking through the scope says "oh man, I can see all the way to your house and your wife is cheating on you." The other man responds ,"Man, i've had it with her. Shoot her in the head and shoot him in the privates." The guy with the rifle said "ooh, I can get that in one shot."
haha thats pretty good.... whats green and smells like pork???kermits finger
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Actual Radio Conversation This was a conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in late 1995. Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course. Americans: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship. Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

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Actual Radio Conversation This was a conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in late 1995. Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course. Americans: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship. Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
Seems a little juvenile for someone in that position. Why didn't they just say that the first time the ship told them to divert? I should be in the navy. I'd rule the high seas. By not being a sarcastic dick about everything, I'd made Admiral in a matter of days. Then, I'd mutiny, and form a badass group of pirates.
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Seems a little juvenile for someone in that position. Why didn't they just say that the first time the ship told them to divert? I should be in the navy. I'd rule the high seas. By not being a sarcastic dick about everything, I'd made Admiral in a matter of days. Then, I'd mutiny, and form a badass group of pirates.
One word: Canadians.
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Hey, I just remembered that I used to have that pirate crew. Remember? Everyone hated us.
Yea, and then it went crazy and people made a Ninja crew and a bunch of other useless ones. Be proud.
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Look what I found in my old photobucket account.Pirate4.jpg
:DI thought about breaking out the flag again, but I've settled down with the McPheever. I'm respectable now (actually, most people hate). I've got responsibilities, and so forth. Plus, General got so bad that even our 15-20 man raids went unnoticed. I haven't been in there in more than 4 months, and probably another 5 before that. Those days are gone. :club:
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Two guys are in a bar drinking and one turns to the other and says "Have you ever thought something but it didnt come out right, cause the other day I was at the airport and wanted two ticket to Pittsburg and accidentially said i want two pickets to Tittsburg" The other guy agrees and states he did the same, "the other day I did the same thing when i was eating breakfast with my wife. I meant to say 'Pass the Orange Juice, but accidentially said 'you ruined my ****ing life *****"

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I was a proud member of the pirate crew. We ruled, I suddenly love my life.
I totally forgot about the pirate crew. I kinda wanted to join at first, but then it fizzled out.
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Yeah, does BMW even post anymore? I think Ghost is gone, Lonshanks, Socko... wow, it's just you and me.
He actually just picked up a new KIA.He's trying to get his new handle KIASPECTAGuy but it is taken. Appeal pending
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  • 4 weeks later...

I think the life cycle is all backwardsYou should start out dead and get it out of the way.Then, you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get ready for High School.You go to primary school, you become a kid , you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, and then...You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every day, and then, you finish off as an orgasm.I rest my case.

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