34 replies to this topic

[cu in 4years Dan]

i was reading through some old threads and found some funny quotes

turd ferguson - Six total posts, and I already hate you.
It's a new record. Stop making threads. You suck at the internet.

this 1 made me laugh so hard i almost fell off me chair
add to the list

[turd ferguson]

Thanks for the nod. I appreciate it. However, there is some much funnier stuff on this site. This quote comes from Mr. Mexico in response to a question about whether or not to cap with AK preflop. The op asked for people's thoughts on the subject. Here are Ron Mexico's.

I think Lee Harvey Oswald was a patsy.
I think Sirhan Sirhan started this whole terrorist think (RFK assassin)
I think Richard Simmons loves banging fat women and thin men.
I think women are generally selfish in bed unless they were molested at a young age.
I think baseball is a wonderful game.
I think Canadians purposely don't wear deodorant at Disney World
I think some porn stars who specialize in butt sex will have to wear diapers when they are in their thirties
I think Charlotte was the best looking girl on Sex in the City.
I think men should sleep with any women who offer it up.
I think you have to have a strong stomach to be a male prostitute.
I think poker involves quite a bit of card catching. More than people admit to.
I think I like the attention this forum brings me. I've been asked to be a celebrity poster on other forums.
I think Royal and I will eventually be married with Speedz as our best man and Smash performing the ceremony. (MA)
I think I am bored and happy about it.
I think I'm in love, with whoever read this whole post and laughed.
I think I'm an attention wh0re.
I think DNA should teach me to forum curse.
Oh yeah, I think capping with AK is silly. After all, it is only Ace high

[Timdog1010]

Where to start with this topic?

I guess you should you use that search button at the top of the screen and start with:

Smasharoo
Spademan
Ron_Mexico

That'll keep you busy for a few weeks.

I'd do it myself but I'm actually swamped with work.

Who gives somebody multiple projects on a Friday? Complete crap...

[mk]

This is still probably my favorite thing I've ever read on the internet. The only other post that's in the running is "Thanks for the car. Good luck."

Regarding the play of AQ on the button after others have already limped in.

Donk X wrote:
"I would limp and see a flop, disguise the strong hand with a weak bet and let someone else raise/bet. That way, you're not committed to a follow up bet on the flop and (as Mike Sexton is so prone to saying) no one can put you on a strong Ace if it falls."

Smasharoo responded:
"Buy a small 4 pund sledgehammer and a 4 foot legnth of rope.

Tie the hammer to the rope.

Oh, buy a bowling ball, too.

Also some string.

Suspend he hammer from one end of the rope, and tie the other end to the ceiling.

Wait, you need duct tape, too.

Take some tape and lightly tape the hammer to the ceiling.

Tie the string around the hammer also.

Put the bowling ball on on the pedestal about 4 feet of the ground.

Did I mention you'd need a pedestal? You will.

Anyway, make sure the pedestal is positioned at the bottom of the arc the hammer will swing through if released from the ceiling.

Now take the chalk. Oh, you'll need chalk.

Anyway, take the chalk, and mark an X on the ground in the direction of the hammers arc about 11 inches away from the table.

Take the string holding the hammer in your right hand.

Sit on the X.

Now lie on your back keeping your body centered on the X.

Now pull the string.

That feeling you get when the bowling ball hits your nuts is very simmilar to the feeling I get when you advise people to limp with AQ here. Remember that feeling and any time you think it's a good idea again to limp with AQ here, repeat the steps above."

[turd ferguson]

I was thinking about posting that quote as well, mk, but I thought it was overused. Probably one of the funniest things ever on this site though.

[chrozzo]

online poker is rigged

[Habs Fan]

online poker is rigged

We're looking for funniest, not most overused.

[Mercury69]

Oh, my!

[ajs510]

I don't know about quotes, but dna4ever used to be the King of Flame Pictures.

Flaming newbs seems beneath him lately though, hasn't been taking his position as seriously.

[chrozzo]

matt damon?

[ricker]

My favorite quote and I forget who it came from, and I forget the context in which it was....but somehow a guy thanked his opponent for a new ipod.

You know what? Maybe I should quit while I'm behind.

[Hobbes]

Remember when Spademan said that thing about the guy and he was all like, "you suck" but it was cool the way he said it?

Yeah.



That was awesome.

[chrozzo]

matt damon needs to make an appearance in this thread

[alf13]

Anything I post is usually grade A material.

[turd ferguson]

Anything I post is usually grade A material.

Do you remember the Rober Varkonyi Fan Club thread you started about a year ago? That was really good stuff. I looked for quite a while, but I can't seem to find it.

[alf13]

Do you remember the Rober Varkonyi Fan Club thread you started about a year ago? That was really good stuff. I looked for quite a while, but I can't seem to find it.

Yeah...I can't find it either...I was trying to bump it since Varkonyi was gonna play in that igloo with Juha Helppi.

I can't find the god damn thread....and I am not re-creating it...that would be cheesy.

[turd ferguson]

Yeah...I can't find it either...I was trying to bump it since Varkonyi was gonna play in that igloo with Juha Helppi.

I can't find the god damn thread....and I am not re-creating it...that would be cheesy.

That sucks. I've actually been looking for that thread since I signed up here. That was the thread that got me hooked on FCP. Really classic stuff.

[alf13]

That sucks. I've actually been looking for that thread since I signed up here. That was the thread that got me hooked on FCP. Really classic stuff.

I can't believe I did this...but I scoured the site..and I ****in found it!

http://www.fullcontactpoker.com/poker-foru...1&st=&p=&#entry

[Hobbes]

I can't believe I did this...but I scoured the site..and I ****in found it!

http://www.fullcontactpoker.com/poker-foru...1&st=&p=&#entry

Good stuff, I hadn't seen that one.

:two thumbs up face:


Why does a search for "Varkonyi" and "alf13" not return this thread?

[bleacherbum3]

I can't believe I did this...but I scoured the site..and I ****in found it!

http://www.fullcontactpoker.com/poker-foru...1&st=&p=&#entry

I almost bumped it......almost.