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I Called In Sick Today


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#81 ShakeZuma

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 09:40 AM

View PostHabs Fan, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:39 PM, said:

Sofa cushions?
damnit man, you made me laugh out loud in my office. everyone just got really quiet. shitting.

View PostAmScray, on 30 August 2010 - 12:41 PM, said:

one cannot possibly ascribe themselves to the larger (D) philosophy without first being a poon

#82 7upncider

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 09:42 AM

View PostShakeZuma, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:11 AM, said:

I heard some of them talk about their daughters, but that ain't exactly the conversation I want to start up with a coworker"Hey, so uh, can I bang your daughter?"
you dont go straight for it.. do this "hey i see you have a daughter does she like to fk or what cause im up for it if she does." if this dont work go to the next one and repeat.. repeat as many times as needed... j/k triing to brighten my bad day up with some amusement..
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming "WOW, WHAT A RIDE

#83 ajs510

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 09:44 AM

.

#84 ShakeZuma

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 09:45 AM

thats a good line, I'll try it"So, I see you have a daughter. Would it be presumptuous for me to assume that she loves the coc.k? Cause I have one. Just sayin'."

View PostAmScray, on 30 August 2010 - 12:41 PM, said:

one cannot possibly ascribe themselves to the larger (D) philosophy without first being a poon

#85 turd ferguson

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 09:46 AM

View PostShakeZuma, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:45 AM, said:

thats a good line, I'll try it"So, I see you have a daughter. Would it be presumptuous for me to assume that she loves the coc.k? Cause I have one. Just serious."
FYPI think it's better this way.

#86 7upncider

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 09:47 AM

View Postajs510, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:44 AM, said:

There's only minimal shame involved with hitting on girls on their way out of the abortion clinic. Helpful Pickup Line: "Hey baby, you wanna see if they have a 2 for 1 special?"
this for some reason is ****ing hillarious.. im on my way over to try it out... be back later to let you know how it went...

View PostShakeZuma, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:45 AM, said:

thats a good line, I'll try it"So, I see you have a daughter. Would it be presumptuous for me to assume that she loves the coc.k? Cause I have one. Just sayin'."
if it works let me know then i will try it myself.. j/s
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming "WOW, WHAT A RIDE

#87 kers2

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 09:49 AM

View PostShakeZuma, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:45 PM, said:

thats a good line, I'll try it"So, I see you have a daughter. Would it be presumptuous for me to assume that she loves the cocking? Cause I have one. Just serious."
FFYP
QUOTE(DinkDonk @ Thursday, September 4th, 2008, 12:40 PM) View Post
I guess this is all unnecessary rambling because Hollywood personifies something I hate about most people. He can take valuable knowledge, stare it right in the fucking face and never let a single sentence absorb into his brain.

#88 turd ferguson

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 09:50 AM

View Postkers2, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:49 AM, said:

FFYP
Money.

#89 ShakeZuma

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 09:52 AM

all gold. I'm going to the bar again tomorrow night. The same one I went to last friday where I hooked up with some random girl and did her in my buddy's sister's kid's bed.I will definately use some of these lines. And I thouroghly expect to get hit.

View PostAmScray, on 30 August 2010 - 12:41 PM, said:

one cannot possibly ascribe themselves to the larger (D) philosophy without first being a poon

#90 Timdog1010

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 09:54 AM

View PostShakeZuma, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:52 AM, said:

all gold. I'm going to the bar again tomorrow night. The same one I went to last friday where I hooked up with some random girl and did her in my buddy's sister's kid's bed.I will definately use some of these lines. And I thouroghly expect to get hit.
Now that's hot.What kind of sheets?Spiderman? Batman?I need to know this.And talk slowly...
QUOTE(ajs510 @ Friday, June 2nd, 2006, 11:37 AM) View Post

Would some fine handcrafted pottery help cheer you up?


#91 turd ferguson

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 09:55 AM

View PostShakeZuma, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:52 AM, said:

all gold. I'm going to the bar again tomorrow night. The same one I went to last friday where I hooked up with some random girl and did her in my buddy's sister's kid's bed.I will definately use some of these lines. And I thouroghly expect to get hit.
I miss being single.

#92 7upncider

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 09:58 AM

yes im going to use my own lines tonight and try something different. maybe i'll get slapped to but only one way to find out.
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming "WOW, WHAT A RIDE

#93 Habs Fan

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 09:59 AM

View PostShakeZuma, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 9:52 AM, said:

all gold. I'm going to the bar again tomorrow night. The same one I went to last friday where I hooked up with some random girl and did her in my buddy's sister's kid's bed.I will definately use some of these lines. And I thouroghly expect to get hit.
Dd you do her in the butt?
...

#94 ajs510

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 10:03 AM

.

#95 ShakeZuma

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 10:04 AM

View PostTimdog1010, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:54 PM, said:

Now that's hot.What kind of sheets?Spiderman? Batman?I need to know this.And talk slowly...
The sheets I don't know about, but the bed was freakin tiny. Probably no longer than 5 feet. I felt like a giant. Awesome. But it was definately a little weird and I feel kinda bad about it, but whatever. Fun nonetheless.

View Postturd ferguson, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:55 PM, said:

I miss being single.
you should. I rule.

View PostHabs Fan, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 12:59 PM, said:

Dd you do her in the butt?
You know what? I don't really know. I don't remember a whole lot about the actually doing it, I just remember that I was there and it was fun. I'm pretty sure I didn't though, cause that "route" tends to leave behind "evidence" that I didn't notice the next day.

View PostAmScray, on 30 August 2010 - 12:41 PM, said:

one cannot possibly ascribe themselves to the larger (D) philosophy without first being a poon

#96 Habs Fan

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 10:09 AM

View PostShakeZuma, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 10:04 AM, said:

You know what? I don't really know. I don't remember a whole lot about the actually doing it, I just remember that I was there and it was fun. I'm pretty sure I didn't though, cause that "route" tends to leave behind "evidence" that I didn't notice the next day.
You mean your dicking wasn't covered in shitting?Cause that would be another great reason for calling in sick, imo.
...

#97 ShakeZuma

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 10:11 AM

Nope, it was fine. As a matter of fact, I remember that there was a distinct lack of any fragrance at all, something I have to say, I'm not used to.I was impressed.

View PostAmScray, on 30 August 2010 - 12:41 PM, said:

one cannot possibly ascribe themselves to the larger (D) philosophy without first being a poon

#98 Habs Fan

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 10:16 AM

View PostShakeZuma, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 10:11 AM, said:

Nope, it was fine. As a matter of fact, I remember that there was a distinct lack of any fragrance at all, something I have to say, I'm not used to.I was impressed.
Great sig. It's funny cause it is true.
...

#99 Timdog1010

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 10:17 AM

View PostShakeZuma, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 10:11 AM, said:

Nope, it was fine. As a matter of fact, I remember that there was a distinct lack of any fragrance at all, something I have to say, I'm not used to.I was impressed.
Sounds like somebody wants seconds...
QUOTE(ajs510 @ Friday, June 2nd, 2006, 11:37 AM) View Post

Would some fine handcrafted pottery help cheer you up?


#100 turd ferguson

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 10:22 AM

View PostHabs Fan, on Friday, March 24th, 2006, 10:16 AM, said:

Great sig. It's funny cause it is true.
LOL. I just saw that. Nice. Does anybody catch the reference in my signature? If not, I can post a link. Funny, funny stuff.




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