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I Called In Sick Today


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#163241 MisterB

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Posted 21 November 2009 - 01:49 PM

View PostTactical Bear, on Saturday, November 21st, 2009, 5:01 PM, said:

Officer: (shines flashlight into car)Officer: (taps on window)Wang: "Good evening officer. What seems to be the problem?"Officer: "You're naked."Wang: "I am wearing boxers."Officer: (points to passenger seat) "She is naked."Wang: "She is holding her shirt over her chest."Officer: "You are both naked."Wang: "...yeah."Officer: (disgusted) "Just... get out of here. This is a family restaurant. What is wrong with you?"Wang: (clears throat) "I, uh, yes sir. Officer. Thank you officer sir." (rolls up window)Maggie: "Did you just call him 'Officer Sir?'"Wang: "Please put on some pants."
About time. pffft. I got caught in a situation like this, he shined his flashlight in the car and said "Miss, do you want to be here?"She said yes... I didn't die from asphyxiation (much to LGs chagrin) and life went on. So, finally starting to go somewhere with Mags, huh? Every time I see you call her Mags, I think of "The Last Starfighter"s girlfriend. She was Mags, but didn't have a kid. She did, however, live in a trailer park. Your Mags +1 Hope you got to finish before the flashlight.
QUOTE(JoeyJoJo @ Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007, 7:21 PM) View Post
MisterB - Tired of getting b-bombed? Well now you can return the favor! With MisterB in the calendar, you'll have at least 30 days to practice your technique. A vote for MisterB is a vote for big belt buckles everywhere.

#163242 Dawson Leery

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Posted 21 November 2009 - 02:08 PM

View PostTactical Bear, on Saturday, November 21st, 2009, 1:01 PM, said:

Officer: (shines flashlight into car)Officer: (taps on window)Wang: "Good evening officer. What seems to be the problem?"Officer: "You're naked."Wang: "I am wearing boxers."Officer: (points to passenger seat) "She is naked."Wang: "She is holding her shirt over her chest."Officer: "You are both naked."Wang: "...yeah."Officer: (disgusted) "Just... get out of here. This is a family restaurant. What is wrong with you?"Wang: (clears throat) "I, uh, yes sir. Officer. Thank you officer sir." (rolls up window)Maggie: "Did you just call him 'Officer Sir?'"Wang: "Please put on some pants."
There aren't any family restaurants in POUNDTOWN.
QUOTE (El Guapo @ Saturday, April 25th, 2009, 11:36 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
LOL. Dawson doesn't use condoms. He is immune to STD's and has impeccable control over his sperm as to only impregnate on command.


#163243 Theraflu

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Posted 21 November 2009 - 02:15 PM

Jesus Christ, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!
Marital Aids.

#163244 Quacktastic

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Posted 21 November 2009 - 02:21 PM

View PostDawson Leery, on Saturday, November 21st, 2009, 6:08 PM, said:

There aren't any family restaurants in POUNDTOWN.
Awesome.
QUOTE (Dawson Leery @ Saturday, November 21st, 2009, 6:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
There aren't any family restaurants in POUNDTOWN.


#163245 LadyGrey

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Posted 21 November 2009 - 06:24 PM

If this post was already quoted then so be it, but I am thinking maybe I shouldn't post when I'm drunk.
We are all so complicated, and then we die. We are a subject one day, with our vanities, our loves, our worries, and then one day, abruptly, we become nothing but an object, an absolutely disgusting pile of shit. We pass very quickly from one stage to the next. It's very bizarre. It will happen to all of us, and fairly soon too. We become an object you can handle like a stone, but a stone that was someone.
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#163246 brvheart

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Posted 21 November 2009 - 07:44 PM

View PostSal Paradise, on Saturday, November 21st, 2009, 3:47 PM, said:

no it's ok cause he posted a bible verse as his facebook status right before.
This made me chuckle that then immediately get a sick feeling in my stomach.
CAPITALISM: God's way of determining who is smart and who is poor. - Ron Swanson ---> Video:Ron's Pyramid of Greatness Picture: Poster Size


View PostSuitedAces21, on 20 August 2012 - 11:14 AM, said:

tilt you suck.

View PostEssay21, on 25 February 2013 - 08:32 PM, said:

titly suck a dick bitch

#163247 vbnautilus

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Posted 21 November 2009 - 10:51 PM

View PostLadyGrey, on Saturday, November 21st, 2009, 6:24 PM, said:

If this post was already quoted then so be it, but I am thinking maybe I shouldn't post when I'm drunk.
it really wasn't that bad. Or good I should say.

#163248 LadyGrey

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 03:42 AM

View Postvbnautilus, on Sunday, November 22nd, 2009, 6:51 AM, said:

it really wasn't that bad. Or good I should say.
I know, I figured that it wasn't of interest to anyone really so there was no point posting it.
We are all so complicated, and then we die. We are a subject one day, with our vanities, our loves, our worries, and then one day, abruptly, we become nothing but an object, an absolutely disgusting pile of shit. We pass very quickly from one stage to the next. It's very bizarre. It will happen to all of us, and fairly soon too. We become an object you can handle like a stone, but a stone that was someone.
Christian Boltanski



Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
Jon Stewart

#163249 Sal Paradise

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 06:07 AM

View PostLadyGrey, on Sunday, November 22nd, 2009, 6:42 AM, said:

I know, I figured that it wasn't of interest to anyone really so there was no point posting it.
well now it is and I want to know what it was.
QUOTE (Tactical Bear @ Monday, June 15th, 2009, 9:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Anybody who dies of Swine Flu is just a faggot.

#163250 Randy Reed

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 07:51 AM

I'm kinda bummed. I bought these vibram five finger shoes about 3 weeks ago, it's like running barefootexcept it gives you a little something between the feet and the cold ground. It uses a bunch of different musclesthan running in shoes so I know it takes a while to get used to them but I really want to use them nextThursday for the 8K Turkey Trot i'm running in.I have been slowly running in them and adding some distance each time and on Friday I ran 8k and felt greatso I thought I was past the hump. This morning I was planning on doing a comfortable 5k in them and my damnfeet started hurting, my calves were cramping and a few other additional pains that I assume were from overdoingit Friday. I'm pretty frustrated. I guess I have to not run the next three days and hope for the best on Thursday.On top of it all I have to go blow fuckin Leaves.Oh well it is nice out. Bengals should kill the Raiders later.
Waiting for the winds of change
To sweep the clouds away
Waiting for the rainbow's end
To cast its gold your way
Countless ways
You pass the days

#163251 brvheart

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 09:29 AM

View PostRandy Reed, on Sunday, November 22nd, 2009, 9:51 AM, said:

Bengals should kill the Raiders later.
You're not going to the game are you?
CAPITALISM: God's way of determining who is smart and who is poor. - Ron Swanson ---> Video:Ron's Pyramid of Greatness Picture: Poster Size


View PostSuitedAces21, on 20 August 2012 - 11:14 AM, said:

tilt you suck.

View PostEssay21, on 25 February 2013 - 08:32 PM, said:

titly suck a dick bitch

#163252 loogie

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 09:42 AM

View Postbrvheart, on Sunday, November 22nd, 2009, 12:29 PM, said:

You're not going to the game are you?
I don't think he is.

#163253 speedz99

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 10:11 AM

Good work, Wangster. Sort of. I guess.

View PostDawson Leery, on Saturday, November 21st, 2009, 2:08 PM, said:

There aren't any family restaurants in POUNDTOWN.
Well this definitely is good work. LG, there's nothing wrong with posting while drunk. You should do it more often.
You got a date Wednesday, baby!

#163254 LadyGrey

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 10:34 AM

View Postspeedz99, on Sunday, November 22nd, 2009, 6:11 PM, said:

LG, there's nothing wrong with posting while drunk. You should do it more often.
I sent my best friend a drunk email last night. She called me today and expressed how impressed she was at my coherence and accurate spelling whilst drunk. I am proud.
We are all so complicated, and then we die. We are a subject one day, with our vanities, our loves, our worries, and then one day, abruptly, we become nothing but an object, an absolutely disgusting pile of shit. We pass very quickly from one stage to the next. It's very bizarre. It will happen to all of us, and fairly soon too. We become an object you can handle like a stone, but a stone that was someone.
Christian Boltanski



Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
Jon Stewart

#163255 Randy Reed

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 10:41 AM

View Postbrvheart, on Sunday, November 22nd, 2009, 9:29 AM, said:

You're not going to the game are you?
I wish, I could use a vacation to the west coast.Cut the grass, made some rigatoni with pasta sauce and sat to watch the first game and it'sDetroit and Cleveland. I mean hell, people in Detroit and Cleveland aren't even watching that game.
Waiting for the winds of change
To sweep the clouds away
Waiting for the rainbow's end
To cast its gold your way
Countless ways
You pass the days

#163256 speedz99

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 10:48 AM

View PostRandy Reed, on Sunday, November 22nd, 2009, 10:41 AM, said:

hell, people in Detroit aren't even watching that game.
That's only because it's been blacked out.
You got a date Wednesday, baby!

#163257 loogie

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 01:13 PM

I think the attempted lateral by Ed Reed at the end of the Colts/Ravens game was actually, percentage-wise, the correct play.

#163258 jeff_536

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 02:37 PM

As part of a job application process with Canada Post, I've had the weekend to write a 5-7 minute speech and was given the following three topics:1. Statement by Marc Courtois, Chairman, to the Standing Committee on Transport, Infrastructure and Communities reiterating Canada Post's commitment to universal service to all Canadians. 2. A speech by Moya Greene, President and Chief Executive Officer, to employees, members of the public and local, provincial and national dignitaries, marking the opening of Canada Post's new mail plant in Winnipeg in mid-2010. 3. A webcast by Jacques Cote, chief operating officer, to employees on the need for continued cost-cutting efforts amid challenging economic times. I chose No. 3 and have completed it. I would really, really like a second (and/or more) opinion on it. It's only a page and a half so if any of ya'll smart ones would do me the great favour of taking a look at it, I'd appreciate it. It's due by 10 a.m. tomorrow morning.Either post your email here or pm me. Or hit me up on aim/msn.Thanks
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#163259 LadyGrey

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 02:53 PM

I'm curious as to why you listed the 3 topics fully when you have already selected and completed one of them. Is there a possibility that you might change and do one of the other topics if someone strenuously advises you to do so? Or did you just want us to see all the options for some reason, and if so, why?p.s. I am not trying to be snarky or whatever, I'm genuinely interested and would like a serious answer
We are all so complicated, and then we die. We are a subject one day, with our vanities, our loves, our worries, and then one day, abruptly, we become nothing but an object, an absolutely disgusting pile of shit. We pass very quickly from one stage to the next. It's very bizarre. It will happen to all of us, and fairly soon too. We become an object you can handle like a stone, but a stone that was someone.
Christian Boltanski



Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
Jon Stewart

#163260 jeff_536

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 03:07 PM

View PostLadyGrey, on Sunday, November 22nd, 2009, 6:53 PM, said:

I'm curious as to why you listed the 3 topics fully when you have already selected and completed one of them. Is there a possibility that you might change and do one of the other topics if someone strenuously advises you to do so? Or did you just want us to see all the options for some reason, and if so, why?p.s. I am not trying to be snarky or whatever, I'm genuinely interested and would like a serious answer
It seemed like a good idea at the time?No real reason, just to give anyone some background on the choice I had, rather than having someone ask me after the fact "Did you have any other options?" Also, after writing the speech, I was in the habit of stretching things.And no, i'll not be changing the topic.
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