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I Called In Sick Today


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#1 turd ferguson

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:25 AM

So I told my boss I had to stay home because I was having some plummers come and fix my apartment. I would have said I was sick, but I exausted that excuse last month. Anyway, long story short, I'm being useless from home today. Come celebrate my laziness in with me! I'll be watching tv in my underwear. Right now I'm watching this infomercial for the Magic Bullet. Anybody else seen this thing? It's amazing!Edit: I think I should let you all know that I'm not wearing a shirt or pants today. Just putting it out there.

#2 mk

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:37 AM

Hah. I'm jealous. I thought about not coming in today too. Mondays always blow.

#3 turd ferguson

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:40 AM

It's great so far except I lost my remote. I've been laying on the floor, changing the channel with my toe. I'm alternating between Sponge Bob, Scooby Doo, and SportsCenter.

#4 Filesharer

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:43 AM

View Postmk, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:37 AM, said:

Hah. I'm jealous. I thought about not coming in today too. Mondays always blow.
I got up at 1.30pm. It's now 4.39 pm, and I'm debating whether or not I should have a shower. This is how every day goes for me. I have no direction in my life, and won't for at least another 5 months. Worship me.

View Postmk, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:37 AM, said:

Hah. I'm jealous. I thought about not coming in today too. Mondays always blow.
I watch Diagnosis Murder with **** Van Dyke.
Looks like i picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

#5 Napa_Don

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:43 AM

Hey I faked sick so I could skip school today. What a coincidence!

#6 turd ferguson

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:44 AM

View PostNapa_Don, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:43 AM, said:

Hey I faked sick so I could skip school today. What a coincidence!
How old are you?

#7 mk

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:45 AM

View PostFilesharer, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 10:43 AM, said:

I got up at 1.30pm. It's now 4.39 pm, and I'm debating whether or not I should have a shower. This is how every day goes for me. I have no direction in my life, and won't for at least another 5 months. Worship me.
Haha. My job is actually really sweet. I'll probably just stop trading at noon and start playing poker. Lol.

#8 ajs510

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:45 AM

View Postturd ferguson, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 11:40 AM, said:

It's great so far except I lost my remote. I've been laying on the floor, changing the channel with my toe. I'm alternating between Sponge Bob, Scooby Doo, and SportsCenter.
Going to buy a universal remote is an acceptable reason to leave the house during a lazy-day. Also acceptable:Picking up Chinese FoodRan out of BeerHouse is on Fire

#9 ShakeZuma

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:46 AM

lazy bast.ard.I'm gonna come out there and take your job.I hope you didn't shower. It can't technically be considered a proper sick day if you shower.

View PostAmScray, on 30 August 2010 - 12:41 PM, said:

one cannot possibly ascribe themselves to the larger (D) philosophy without first being a poon

#10 turd ferguson

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:47 AM

View Postajs510, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:45 AM, said:

Going to buy a universal remote is an acceptable reason to leave the house during a lazy-day. Also acceptable:Picking up Chinese FoodRan out of BeerHouse is on Fire
I'm thinking about it. Maybe sometime around 1:00. I'll probably go back to bed for a while soon.Chinese food sounds pretty good too. Thanks for the suggestion.

#11 Napa_Don

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:48 AM

View Postturd ferguson, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:44 AM, said:

How old are you?
18 I have about 4 weeks of actual High School left and just decided I didn't want to go today.I'm sitting here playing some poker, browsing the forums, playing some blast billiards and eating frosted mini wheats. Life is good.

#12 turd ferguson

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:48 AM

View PostShakeZuma, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:46 AM, said:

lazy bast.ard.I'm gonna come out there and take your job.I hope you didn't shower. It can't technically be considered a proper sick day if you shower.
I don't even shower on the days I go to work.

#13 ajs510

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:49 AM

View Postturd ferguson, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 11:47 AM, said:

I'm thinking about it. Maybe sometime around 1:00. I'll probably go back to bed for a while soon.Chinese food sounds pretty good too. Thanks for the suggestion.
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

#14 ShakeZuma

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:50 AM

View Postturd ferguson, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 11:48 AM, said:

I don't even shower on the days I go to work.
For some reason I kinda figured this.And for NapaDon: Advice from an older person:Have sex with as many high school girls as possible while it is still socially acceptable for you to do so.

View PostAmScray, on 30 August 2010 - 12:41 PM, said:

one cannot possibly ascribe themselves to the larger (D) philosophy without first being a poon

#15 turd ferguson

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:50 AM

View PostNapa_Don, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:48 AM, said:

18 I have about 4 weeks of actual High School left and just decided I didn't want to go today.I'm sitting here playing some poker, browsing the forums, playing some blast billiards and eating frosted mini wheats. Life is good.
Sweet. I think I'll play some blast billiards myself, and then rip my pubic hair out by the fistful out of frustration.

#16 Napa_Don

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:53 AM

View PostShakeZuma, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:50 AM, said:

And for NapaDon: Advice from an older person:Have sex with as many high school girls as possible while it is still socially acceptable for you to do so.
Way ahead of you buddy. But thanks for the advice.

#17 Hobbes

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:53 AM

View Postajs510, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:45 AM, said:

Going to buy a universal remote is an acceptable reason to leave the house during a lazy-day.
I have one of those programmable universal remotes that operates the TV, DVD player, VCR, TiVo, and sound system. That thing goes through batteries like...something that goes through batteries very quickly. 4 AAA batteries every three days. I think I've almost exhausted the life of the rechargeable batteries. My personal favorite is when the batteries die in the middle of a fast forward on the tivo and there's no way of stopping it.Also, I'll probably be at work today for 14 hours.

#18 ajs510

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:56 AM

View PostShakeZuma, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 11:50 AM, said:

For some reason I kinda figured this.And for NapaDon: Advice from an older person:Have sex with as many high school girls as possible while it is still socially acceptable for you to do so.
This is no bullshit, this needs to be done. Picking up your girlfriend from high school when you're 23 is just wrong on many levels.

View PostHobbes, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 11:53 AM, said:

I have one of those programmable universal remotes that operates the TV, DVD player, VCR, TiVo, and sound system. That thing goes through batteries like...something that goes through batteries very quickly. 4 AAA batteries every three days. I think I've almost exhausted the life of the rechargeable batteries. My personal favorite is when the batteries die in the middle of a fast forward on the tivo and there's no way of stopping it.Also, I'll probably be at work today for 14 hours.
I have a Cuban houseboy named Pablo, he changes the channel for me. The whip never needs batteries. Pablo! ESPN! NOW! *whip*I listed him on the census last time, the government sent me a letter advising that they were less than amused.

#19 leftygolfer

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 08:58 AM

View Postmk, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:45 AM, said:

Haha. My job is actually really sweet. I'll probably just stop trading at noon and start playing poker. Lol.
Hey MK...what do u trade? Got a few friends at the Board and the Merc.
QUOTE (speedz99 @ Monday, May 4th, 2009, 11:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I find you all to be unfunny and annoying.

Ok, I think I'm going to venture out of the house for the first time in a few days. A round of golf in the sun will do me some good.


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#20 Hobbes

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Posted 20 March 2006 - 09:02 AM

View Postajs510, on Monday, March 20th, 2006, 8:56 AM, said:

Pablo! ESPN! NOW! *whip*
:laughing hard on the inside, quietly on the outside face:




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