Show Some Love For Comedian Mitch Hedberg

[Thriceknurd 0]

Undeniably one of THE funniest comedians of all time. Unfortunately he passed away last year at the age of 37 from a heart condition (a.k.a. drug related problems). Such a mad stoner he was, but his humor and tone of voice are unlike anyone else. His random observations and witty 1-liners are what many fans enjoyed about him the most. I saw him perform at the Ontario Improv 2 months before he passed, and I will never forget that night. My favorite jokes:I bought myself a parrot. The parrot talked. But it did not say, "I'm hungry,"... so it died.All McDonalds commercials end the same way: "prices and participation may vary." I want to open my own McDonalds and not participate in anything. I want to be a stubborn McDonalds owner. "Cheeseburgers? Nope. We got spaghetti!...And blankets. But we are not affiliated with that clown, he attracts too many children." I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles was a laid-back company. They said "**** it. Cut 'em up!" I like cinnamon rolls. That's why I wish they made, like, a cinnamon roll incense. 'Cause I don't always have time to make a pan. Perhaps I'd rather light a stick, and have my roommates wake up with false hopes. I was gonna stay over at my friend's house. She says "You're gonna have to sleep on the floor." Damn gravity! Got me again. You don't know how bad I wanna sleep on the wall! I saw a billboard for the lottery. It said, "Estimated lottery jackpot 55 million dollars." I did not know that was estimated. That would suck if you won and they said, "Oh, we were off by two zeroes. We estimate that you are angry!" R.I.P.

[brvheart 1,752]

Do you have anymore of his jokes... some of these were very funny... aka the parrot.

[turd ferguson 1]

Do you have anymore of his jokes... some of these were very funny... aka the parrot.

Go to his site. There are a bunch of good clips of him on there. Also, I think thatvideosite.com has some of his stuff. He's hilarious.

[Don Giovanni 0]

he was awsome

[bigkg 0]

Being in high school the only stand-up comedian anybody cares about is Dane Cook. While I think he is funny, nobody in my school realizes how much funnier Hedberg was.

[keith crime 8]

Tons of mitch quoteshttp://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mitch_HedbergStrategic Grill Locations – Mitch HedbergI’d have Mitch All Together on there, but I left it in the rent a car CD player when I drove to New York something Mitch probably did ten thousand times. I was surprised when I opened up a Doug Stanhope disc and saw in the liner notes that Mitch and Dave Attell were his favorite comics. Stanhope is such a hard guy. But when Hedberg died I realized that to Stanhope, Mitch was the comedian he longed to be in a world where he didn’t have so much angst. No politics, no bad breakups, no feeling that the world was closing in on him. Just a sweet stoner with no cares in the world relating all the goofy thoughts running through his head in an infectious drawl. I first saw Mitch live in San Francisco, and although I loved him it wasn’t exactly a set that went well. Your average comedy club audience is mostly filled with straights who decided to get their laugh on for a night. Doug Stanhope: What’s my name? You don’t have the slightest idea what my ****ing name is … You’re only here because you got free passes or something. Mitch was once on That ‘70’s Show which was genius casting, because he was like an Eagles roadie who’d smoked a laced joint and popped back into the world unscathed 20 years later. A little of it was an act, but Hedberg was probably the least confident comedian in the history of the medium. He’d slouch before the mike, his long hair flowing over his tinted blue sunglasses, and stare at the ground like he had his jokes written at the base of the microphone. He could be slaying an audience and he would still spend more time apologizing for himself than actually telling jokes. On the right night, that was just as funny. Mitch released his Comedy Central Special as a bonus DVD to his last album. You can watch the edited version where Mitch is spewing out jokes like Don Rickles or you can watch the unedited version that is three times as long and a complete mess. I think you know which version I prefer. The night in San Francisco, the crowd was looking at Mitch like he was modern art being shown backstage at the Jerry Springer show. After awhile, people starting buying him drinks just to see how hammered he would get. Not one to be confrontational, Mitch kept accepting them until his wife Lynn walked onto the stage and took one out of his hands, which was hardly the worst thing she did to Mitch during the show. After about 15 more minutes of more Mitch ramblings, Lyn started yelling out “Tell them about the CD’s,” which Mitch proceeded to ignore until she yelled it out for about the 17th time. Finally, in true Hedberg fashion he replied “I ain’t gonna waste my time for what like three people … would anyone here actually buy this crap?” Me and two other guys cheered yes. A couple of years later, I met him outside of Largo, and asked him about the show. Thinking back it was probably sort of insensitive of me. When, I introduced myself to David Cross and told him that we had a mutual friend from his comedy past, he treated me like a fungus, who could blame Mitch for going off on me after bringing that night up.“You were there? That’s hilarious.”I don’t know how to describe it to you but the instant you meet this guy you realize that he doesn’t have a cruel bone in his body. Maybe the sweetest thing God ever produced. He spent like 20 minutes smoking with me. He introduced me to his wife. I asked him if he got sick of staying in so many hotel rooms and his answer was “No way, we love it.” I’m guessing Mitch was thinking of the genius way he’d found to get the world to clean up his room for him. After his death, I read about how he’d met a couple of college kids and after hearing about their sweatbox dorm room returned the next day with an air conditioner. The only celebrity death that’s ever left me severely depressed.

[kers2 0]

Hedberg is f*cking hilarious. What a baller

[keith crime 8]

mitch shows you can downloadhttp://hedburgh.com/media.shtml

[Thriceknurd 0]

After his death, I read about how he’d met a couple of college kids and after hearing about their sweatbox dorm room returned the next day with an air conditioner. The only celebrity death that’s ever left me severely depressed.

That was indeed a very touching story I remember hearing about. What a down to earth type of guy. Truly a humble man who cared about others. I bet there are countless acts of kindness that we'll never know about, but at least we have this story.

[Hobbes 1]

"If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down the sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable."Those quotes in the picture are hilarious.

[Wandigo 1]

I saw Mitch at Central Michigan University less than a year before he died. Despite Gilbert Godfried opening up, it was one of the best comedy shows I've ever been to. Everyone should own a copy of "Strategic Grill Locations," it's a great cd.

[Hobbes 1]

I was in a restaurant and I ordered a chicken sandwich, but I don't think the waitress heard me because she said, "OK, how would you like your eggs, sir?" I tried to answer anyhow: "Incubated. And then raised. And then beheaded. And then plucked. And then cut up. And then put on a grill. And then put on a bun. ****, it's gonna take a while. I do not have time. Scrambled. You ****in' confused me."

[MasterLJ 0]

I went to the donut shop to get a donut. I hand the clerk 85 cents, she hands me the donut and a receipt. I'm like "whoah, we do not to bring pen and paper into this transaction."Skeptical friend says, "did you pay for that donut?""Why yes, yes I did... it's right here in my documents filed under D, for donut"Can't forget Smacky the Frog either =P.

[tyfgine 0]

I really like this quote:I like Kit-Kat's, unless I'm with four or more people.I dunno, i just think its hilarious the way he says it.

[Thriceknurd 0]

I went to the donut shop to get a donut. I hand the clerk 85 cents, she hands me the donut and a receipt. I'm like "whoah, we do not to bring pen and paper into this transaction."Skeptical friend says, "did you pay for that donut?""Why yes, yes I did... it's right here in my documents filed under D, for donut"Can't forget Smacky the Frog either =P.

Funny that you post this joke because it's actually what I have set on my voicemail. My friends always laugh at it when I don't pick up and they hear it. I think it may be getting a but old to them though. I'm changing it soon and setting up another joke from Mitch.I always have a Mitch Hedberg quote as my voicemail because they're funny as hell, and it's just another way to expose this comic genius (reason why I started this thread).I'm enjoying all the feedback. It's obvious the impact Mitch had on all of us that have come to know and love his work.

[insano 0]

Your waaay late on this thread but oh well. Mitch was great.I went to see him a month or so before he died, and he was just as funny as the first time I had seen him years before. RIP.

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

I saw him about a year before he died. He was with Stephen Lynch, and I had never really heard of him. I found his humor pretty hilarious while others in the crowd wanted Stephen back. He played it pretty well and it is sad that a talent died so young.THis thread is a little late though...

[Golden 2]

Mitch was outstanding and extremely funny. Is it the anniversary of his death? I am trying to figure out why this thread appeared out of nowhere....

[ol'number7 0]

he had me at "I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used too, too." Mitch was an awesome comedian no doubt

[Hobbes 1]

Mitch was outstanding and extremely funny. Is it the anniversary of his death? I am trying to figure out why this thread appeared out of nowhere....

I never heard anything Mitch did until just now, so I'm glad this was put up here. Truly hilarious stuff. His type of humor is right up my alley."I haven't slept for ten days...because that would be too long."

[kers2 0]

I never heard anything Mitch did until just now, so I'm glad this was put up here. Truly hilarious stuff. His type of humor is right up my alley."I haven't slept for ten days...because that would be too long."

Yea bud catch up lol. I could listen to his stuff for days. Truly a great and unique style.

[Thriceknurd 0]

Your waaay late on this thread but oh well. Mitch was great.I went to see him a month or so before he died, and he was just as funny as the first time I had seen him years before. RIP.

It is indeed almost the 1 year anniversary of Mitch's death. The news of his death appeared on April Fools Day last year, which led many fans to believe at first it was a prank (And we all wished it was), but I believe the actual date of his death was March 30th, 2005.Late on this thread? Well to put things into perspective, I visit sites dedicated to Mitch everyday, his cd's are permanently in my cd player, and I just realize more and more what we all lost. And I thought I would share some memories of him with this forum. I think everyone needs to know and love Mitch. Good ol' Mitch. Made so many people laugh

[chrozzo 19]

they have comedy in Canada?

[buzbrad11 0]

I played golf, I'm not good at golf, I never got a hole-in-one ... but I *did* hit a guy. And that's way more satisfying. You're supposed to yell "fore," but I was too busy mumbling, "There ain't no way that's gonna hit him." I hit a guy in one. What's par for hitting a guy? One. If you hit a guy in two, you are an *******.I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said "Please Try Again," because apparently they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong. Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me — "C'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait — Fruit on the bottom, hope on top."I had a roommate whose name was Eddie, and Eddie was slow on the mental draw. I was writing a letter and I had a problem; I said, "Ed, how do you abbreviate 'Arkansas?'" He said, "I don't know. Just start spelling it, then quit." Like, we had a refrigerator with a hard-boiled egg inside. After a few days the shell started to crack. Eddie's first comment was, "Man, this guy is a survivor."

[Thriceknurd 0]

I was walking by a dry cleaner at 3 AM and there was a sign that said, "Sorry, we're closed." You don't have to be sorry. It's 3 AM and you're a dry cleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna come by at 10 and say, "Hey, I was here at 3 AM and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology. This jacket would be halfway done!"