jayistheman 0 Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 alrightthis damn forum is gonna get me fired soon if all of this drama doesnt stop.... the drama is absolutely hialrious. Im spending hours a day laughing at you guys cat fight...cant we all just get along? we are all a bunch of forum dorks, so cant we just concentrate on what we have in common?its time for the light-heartedness to return....IMO this post is really good...http://www.fullcontactpoker.com/poker-foru...opic.php?t=4786im gonna share a coincidence of my own, just to try to lighten the atmospherelsat year in my rat hole of a freshman dorm room, i would play online poker for hours on end... usually NL 50 - NL 200 depending on game selection... well, one day i decided to slum it in a $2 NL for sh*ts and giggles.... i decided i was gonna push every hand to the max just to see how i would do... in about 15 minutes i ran my stack up to about 10 bucks and was loving it.then this happened:i get JJ and raise it up to about 25 cents.get one caller, and the flop comes all unders... he has about 3 bucks and i move all in... he calls after a long deliberation.... more harmless low cards come out... he flips over some connected rags for a straight...i shout out "NOOO!!!" and simultaneously, i hear "YESSSSS!" coming from across the hall. i check to see where my opponent is from and it says "philadelphia" and my curiosity peaks. i decide to go see what he's so excited about... he answers his door and says he had just sucked out to win a nice pot on a tiny little micro table, and it was small peanuts compared to what i play.... i was about to swing....... i really was.he's a good friend of mine now, but i gotta take it personally when we are playing live games Link to post Share on other sites
akishore 0 Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 good post, but i have nothing humurous to reply with.except maybe that i have a test today at 1pm, a paper due tomorrow at 10am, and a problem set due tomorrow at 12pm, and that i bought coffee last night at 11pm with the hopes of staying up late studying and writing my paper, and it's 12pm now, and i've wasted the last 13 hours playing poker.does that count? :-) aseem Link to post Share on other sites
JaysonWeber 0 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 good post, but i have nothing humurous to reply with.except maybe that i have a test today at 1pm, a paper due tomorrow at 10am, and a problem set due tomorrow at 12pm, and that i bought coffee last night at 11pm with the hopes of staying up late studying and writing my paper, and it's 12pm now, and i've wasted the last 13 hours playing poker.does that count? :-) aseemAkishore you are talking about me or you here? I'm to the point where I E-mail professors with reasons im not going to class when im Multi Tabeling on UB and posting on here! No big deal I guess.I had to stop playing poker while writing papers now because the Hand History thing on UB while i'm auto-importing to Poker-Tracker always pops up. So I get papers done in record time. Link to post Share on other sites
scottrude 0 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 So these two guys are golfing and in front of them are two very slow ladies. One of the guys says I'm going to go up there and ask them to hurry it up, or let us through. He marched half way down the fairway, stopped and turned back. When his buddy asked him what was wrong, he said one of them is my wife, and the other is my girlfriend. So his buddy said "I'll take care of it then!". He marched half way down the fairway, stopped and turned back as well. As he returned he said to his friend "Man it's a small world huh?" THE HUMOR IS BACK! Link to post Share on other sites
Absolute 0 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 people like wrto and the stein are people that contribute humor to this forum, and i seem to recall a mob of people trying to run them off Link to post Share on other sites
jayistheman 0 Posted February 25, 2005 Author Share Posted February 25, 2005 i am a supporter of both of them Link to post Share on other sites
NormanHaupt 0 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 I leave for work in 10 minutes and I'm sitting here butt naked thinking about pokerDoes that couunt? Link to post Share on other sites
KDawgCometh 2 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 people like wrto and the stein are people that contribute humor to this forum, and i seem to recall a mob of people trying to run them offagreed. WRTO has stayed away since all of that sillyness, and homestly those who said his absence wouldn't be noticed, well their wrong. Now we got Johnboys saying everybody is a dick, unfair trade if you ask me Link to post Share on other sites
phidragonslayer 0 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 Brewster the RoosterWhitey was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers called pullets and eight or ten roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. Whitey kept records and any rooster that didn't preform went into the soup pot and was replaced.That took an awful lot of Whitey's time so Whitey got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.Each bell had a different tone so Whitey could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.Whitey's favorite rooster was old Brewster, a very fine speciman. But on this particular morning Whitey noticed old Brewster's bell hand't rung at all!Whitey went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-rining. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.BUT, to Whitey's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.Whitey was so proud of Brewster, he entered him in the county fair....and Brewster became an overnight sensation among the judges. The results........The judges not only awarded Brewster the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pulletsuprise" as well.Clearly Brewster was a democrat............Who else could figure out how to win two of the most politically biased awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them.How bout dat for some humor, fo shizzle? Link to post Share on other sites
jayistheman 0 Posted February 25, 2005 Author Share Posted February 25, 2005 Clearly Brewster was a democrat............Who else could figure out how to win two of the most politically biased awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them. hahahahabest line ever Link to post Share on other sites
BilliardsBoy 0 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 Haha, nice post slayer. I agree that people need to just lighten up on this forum with a lot of things. I have no problem with serious issues being discussed in threads, thats good for the forum, but sometimes people just need to have fun as well.Was that Darren by any chance Jay? What a titty. Link to post Share on other sites
jayistheman 0 Posted February 25, 2005 Author Share Posted February 25, 2005 yeah... it was the daba dey d-loq Link to post Share on other sites
Chip_and_a_Chair 0 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 Q: How can you tell if a baseball player is on steroids?A: He has an "NY" on his cap and he doesn't play his home games at Shea. :twisted: Opening Day can't come soon enough... Link to post Share on other sites
ChuckSty 0 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 what sucks for me is that once i started playing poker and then multi-tabling i nevr have time to masturbate to all the pics on the web. and when i do, i wake up with pocket rockets and it just kills the mood. does anyone else have this problem or is it just me?by the way this is a joke. kind of... Link to post Share on other sites
711Buddha 0 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 Q: How do you kill a circus?A: Go for the juggler. Link to post Share on other sites
johnboys1 0 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 Q: How do you get a nun pregnantA: **** Her Link to post Share on other sites
NormanHaupt 0 Posted February 26, 2005 Share Posted February 26, 2005 So two blondes go deer hunting. While tramping through the woods, the one girl gets a clear shot and takes down a 10-point buck. They jump up and down a couple times, in delight, before coming up on their kill. "Well, that was easy, let's get it to the car!"So they grab the dear by the hindlegs, each taking one hoof, and dragging it backwards out of the woods towards the car.Finally, after struggling to pull it through some brush, a guy approaches and offers them some help."Well, sir, we're having trouble getting him back to our car. His antlers keep getting stuck.""Well, if you drag it by the horns, they won't get caught!"OH! They smacked their own heads and started dragging it by the horns."Wow this is much easier!" One blonde said, about 10 minutes later."Yeah, but now we're going the wrong way."ZING! bet you thought it was going to turn into a dirty joke several times, eh? heh heh heh Link to post Share on other sites
Guest XXEddie Posted February 26, 2005 Share Posted February 26, 2005 So these two guys are golfing and in front of them are two very slow ladies. One of the guys says I'm going to go up there and ask them to hurry it up, or let us through. He marched half way down the fairway, stopped and turned back. When his buddy asked him what was wrong, he said one of them is my wife, and the other is my girlfriend. So his buddy said "I'll take care of it then!". He marched half way down the fairway, stopped and turned back as well. As he returned he said to his friend "Man it's a small world huh?" THE HUMOR IS BACK!yes it is Link to post Share on other sites
DCWildcat 0 Posted February 26, 2005 Share Posted February 26, 2005 I didn't sleep last night because I was writing a philosophy paper. Now it's 2 am the next day and I'm playing my 6th small-buy SNG of the night. ****. I think I hold the record for most 2nd place finishes in 5 person SNGs. Time for SNG #7.I am tired. Link to post Share on other sites
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